Piranha 3D

2010

It's Spring Break on a beautiful lake in Arizona, but a recent seismic eruption has opened a fissure between the surface lake and another lake beneath it. The lower lake is filled with an ancient creature thought extinct for millions of years, a predecessor to the modern ... well, I guess you know that from the title.

Drunken, undressed college kids and vicious primitive carnivores! What better combination is there?  And now it's in 3D.

Jerry O'Connell is funny in a parody of Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild entrepreneur and Gawker's choice as douchebag of the decade. Elisabeth Shue takes the plot seriously as the sheriff. Ving Rhames uses an outboard motor to kick some Piranha ass, or gill, or something. Kelly Brook and Riley Steele do a naked underwater ballet. College kids get sliced and diced en masse. Christopher Lloyd plays a sort of eccentric professor. Richard Dreyfuss needs a bigger boat.

Piranha is exactly what a genre film ought to be. It neither cuts corners nor pulls punches on the violence and nudity and humor. It's very silly when it tries to be, and very intense when it wants to be. Given the existence of Troma, I don't know how many campy ultra-gore movies we need, but if you would like one movie this year in which all the human flesh is either fully exposed or ripped from human bones, I reckon this is it.

Well, by God, if ya gotta do something, do it right.

 

NUDITY:

Kelly Brook and Riley Steele stark naked. This may end up as the nude scene of the year once we get it in Blu-Ray. This version appears to be a cam. Sorry. It's the best currently available.

Gianna Michaels

Nancy Walters

There are also some random topless college girls, but I figure we may as well wait for a good version.