This week's best nudity comes from Rachel Miner as a Suicide Girl working as a "Personal Assistant," or as she likes to think of it "Slave." (Film clip)

Madeline Zima's brief nudity was just a flashback scene to footage we've already seen. (Film clip)





I watched the leaked workprint. I don't want to write a review since I don't know how much will be changed when it opens theatrically, but I can tell you that (1) it's not a straight remake of Carpenter's film in that there is extensive running time dedicated to the childhood of Michael Myers; (2) the graphic violence (including a brutal rape) is what you can expect if you have seen Rob Zombie's other films.

The capture quality ranges from barely adequate to utter poop, but here's a rundown of the plentiful nudity, At least you can see what will be available.

First, Sherry Moon Zombie shows her butt in a stripper sequence. She plays the killer's mother.

Next, Hanna Hall shows her chest as Michael's older sister.

The next bit of nudity is the top of a girl's butt. She's an inmate being brutally raped by two trustees or guards in an institution. (In Michael Myers's cell. Poor choice of bedrooms.) I did not capture it.


The first victim of the grown Michael Myers is Kristina Klebe. She actually does a very brief frontal which was too dark to capture from the source, and a well-lit rear shot which I had to scrap because of motion blur.

Michael's final victim is Danielle Harris, who played a little girl way back in Halloween 4 and 5. She's actually 30 now, but can play much younger because she has an unlined face and is very tiny. (Third party film clip)



* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.











Anita (1973) is a Swedish film supposedly based on a real story. It stars Christina Lindberg as the title character. She is 17, and a true nymphomaniac, compulsively sleeping with men she doesn't like, then immediately abandoning them. She is pre-orgasmic, and has all of the expected self-esteem issues. She doesn't get along with her parents and seldom attends school, She has nearly run out of local men whom she hasn't already done, so she takes to picking them up at the train depot. She takes one man to a makeshift tent at a construction site, and as she is leaving, is literally run into by a psychology student played by future international star and Scandinavian superstar Stellan Skarsgaard, then just beginning his career. He moves her into a co-op of music students, and decides to cure her. He realizes that sleeping with her would completely kill the relationship, but the more he knows her, the more he likes her.

Despite the attempts of foreign distributors to market this as an exploitation film with titles like "Swedish Nymphet," Anita is really an honest attempt to show nymphomania and its tragic effects on the afflicted. The original Swedish title is the unsensational "Anita - from a teenage girl's diary." Because of its serious treatment of nymphomania as a tragic disease, Anita is not at all erotic, despite the typical raised bar for Scandinavian nudity. The film could have done a much better job, however, at the psychological aspects of her condition, and the transfer is abysmal, although probably the best source material available.

With a better transfer, this might be a C- for nudity lovers, but, as it is, call it a D. The image quality is too poor to please flesh-seekers, and the drama is too lame to satisfy the turtleneck crowd.

IMDb readers say 5.1 based on 59 votes.

Christina Lindberg shows everything in several scenes. Danielle Vlaminck, as her mother, shows breasts and bush through a sheer nighty. Several unknowns also show body parts.



Christina Lindberg



Danielle Vlaminck












The Last American Virgin

Today the Time Machine takes a 25 year journey back to 1982 for the teen flick "The Last American Virgin". The title does tell you something about what to expect from this movie, but while the first half is filled with young boys looking for that elusive conquest the movie actually turns serious for the second half of the flick.

Diane Franklin plays the young girl who gets pregnant and she does get naked, even a flash of peach fuzz.

Jerri Idol shows off the boobs.

Louisa Moritz is very well endowed and displays her hooters as she services the young stars of the movie.

More Eye candy from Tessa Richarde as she flashes her tits.

And wrap it up with a show scene with some unknowns.

Scoop's notes: The Last American Virgin is not the best of the teen comedies from the early eighties. Not even close. It's only rated 5.2 at IMDb. But it is the most soulful movie in that genre, and the only one with a conclusion ripped from reality. It starts out to be one of those "hot chick ends up with sincere nerd even though she's the shallow quarterback's girlfriend" movies, but takes a heartbreaking swerve from that path. It has possibly the all-time "feel bad" ending for any movie starting out as a lighthearted summer escapist flick, and that ending feels so bad not because it's some typically dramatic film tragedy like the death of a main character, but because it's just the sad reality of life.

Surprisingly, it came from schlockmeisters Golan and Globus!






Notes and collages

"Just Shoot Me"

Laura San Giacomo. I adore this actress: nice charisma, huge......smile....








The story involves a trucker named Rubber Duck (Kris Kristofferson) and his bitter feud with a crooked sheriff named Dirty Lyle (Ernest Borgnine). Things get out of hand when a fight erupts in a diner between the two, forcing Duck and his fellow truckers to make a getaway to the Arizona/New Mexico border. Duck's convoy of trucks grows, as he becomes some sort of folk hero. But when Spider Mike gets pinched by Sheriff Alvarez down in Trucker's Hell, it's up to the Duck to bust him out.


Ali McGraw



Cassie Yates











¿Quién puede juzgar a 10 chicas, casi adolescentes, del Este de Europa que quieren buscar un futuro mejor en Bélgica? Nadie, incluso aunque sea aceptando un contrato muy sospechoso de unos hombres que les ofrecen una vida de glamour como bailarinas de una compañía, incluso aunque les adviertan de que esos hombres lo que pretenden en realidad es prostituirlas. Sólo quieren una vida mejor, aunque puede que el viaje que inician vaya directo a un infierno del que no podrán escapar.

Esto es Matrioshki, la cruda, terrible, pero realista historia de un puñado de chicas arrancadas de sus hogares con mentiras y condenadas a ser esclavas sexuales por una despiadada banda de delincuentes que no tienen el menor problema por traficar con mujeres, obligarlas a prostituirse e, incluso, matarlas. A lo largo de los 10 episodios de Matrioshki, acompañaremos a estas jóvenes en su viaje hacia el infierno.


Ten Eastern European girls, barely past adolescence, take a chance on a better future in Belgium, even though it involves being bound by a very suspicious contract to men who offer a glamorous life as dancers, but intend to force them into prostitution.

This is Matrioshki, the crude and horrifying but realistic history of a handful of girls uprooted from their homes with lies and turned into sex slaves by ruthless criminals who would not hesitate to kill them. Throughout the 10 episodes of Matrioshki, we will accompany these young people on their trip towards a hell from which they may not be able to escape.



Capítulo 7 / Chapter 7


Zemyna Asmontaite



Veerle De Jonghe



Ailika Kremer


Svetlana Vladimirovna and Eugenia Hirivskaya








The Dog Problem

The best thing I can say about this 2006 alleged comedy is, I've seen worse. Unfortunately, not many times. Actually, a lot of people liked this movie (7.0 with 406 votes on IMDB), but with all due respect to them, I thought it sucked. A good cast was totally wasted on this stinker.

A writer is forced to end his therapy after having spent all the earnings from his first book to pay for it. During the final session, when he asks the therapist what to do, he's advised to get a dog to be a calming influence in his life. Naturally, the dog turns the guy's life upside-down. People try to get take the dog from him. He meets a stripper who accidentally loses the dog. Thugs chase him. He chases the dog.

It sounds funny. It isn't. Somewhere along the line, they forgot they were making a comedy. The movie became way too talky and philosophical, and very boring. There were some amusing lines, but what could have been a really funny story line, perhaps even a good slapstick, turned into boring dreck.

Throwing in a few strippers (that didn't strip, as usual) helped a little, but not much. I spent eighty-eight minutes watching this film. Five minutes of that was well spent.

Joanna Krupa Lynn Collins Mena Suvari






Film clips of Rosanna Arquette and Baelyn Neff in I-See-You.com. Samples to the right. (I don't know whether Rosanna used a body double for the butt scene. The butt does look like Rosanna's used to look, but not many women her age have a butt like that.)






The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

Monday, the Congressional paper Roll Call revealed that in June, Idaho Republican Sen. Larry Craig was arrested in a Minnesota airport men's toilet by a plainclothes cop who busted him for lewd conduct.  The officer said that after his arrest, Craig gave him a business card that identified him as a Senator and said, "What do you think about that?"  Craig pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor and paid $500.  Craig said he shouldn't have pled guilty, and the cop "misconstrued" him.  His spokesman called the arrest a "he said/he said misunderstanding."  Craig is a married grandfather of nine, and a big proponent of adoption. 

*  He's made several attempts to adopt George Michael.

*  Democrats are at a loss: they want to attack Craig, but their platform supports gay sex in public toilets.
* A description of what Craig allegedly did.  It's all because he has a "wide stance" in the bathroom.  Seriously.

Monday, beleaguered Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resigned. Gonzales said he'd listened to the American people. 

*  All of them, on both their landlines and cell phones.