Video clips: Nicole Kidman, Part 4 of ?

Malice (1992). (Movie House review) Silly thriller that is so implausible as to undermine any credibility it might have had, but I liked Alec Baldwin's demented performance. (SPOILERS) In the convoluted plot, he was a doctor being sued. It turns out that he and the patient conspired to defraud the insurance company, so the higher the settlement, the higher would be his half of the booty. Therefore, he had to convince the jury or the insurance boys that he was an irresponsible madman. It's a premise designed for scenery-chewing, and Baldwin made the most of it. (Zipped .wmv)

Cold Mountain (2003). (Movie House review) Typical 1950s "epic" movie, albeit made in 2003. An overproduced and phony-baloney Hollywood film in which Kidman keeps getting more and more beautiful as the Civil War puts her through ever-greater hardships. It was fairly popular with people who like old-fashioned movies like The English Patient, and the damned film even got some buzz going for an Oscar Best Picture nomination which never materialized. It was nominated for seven other Oscars, but won only for Best Supporting Actress (not Kidman, but Zellweger.) (Zipped .wmv)




Video clips: Insecticidal

I haven't seen this and, God willing, won't ever have to ...  unless one of these women strikes the big time.

Here is a great summary from IMDb:

Brilliant sorority girl Cami's experiment in insect intelligence goes awry, leaving giant, mutant insects hunting for food in a sorority house - and the only thing to eat is beautiful sorority sisters! The insect horrors increase in size while their source of food shrinks. The girls fight a savage hit and run battle with whatever weapons they can find. But the insects have more on their super-intelligent minds than food. Beautiful Josi becomes a host for more than sorority parties when she is infected with the next generation of mutant insects! Cami and a few survivors survive the night, leaving insect carnage throughout the house. But to deal with a bug problem, you have to kill them ALL ...


Here are the clips:





Video clips: Miscellaneous


  • Kristin Scott-Thomas in Bitter Moon, slowed down to 1/8 time.  (Zipped .wmv) This movie is a perfect illustration of the "halo principle" that surrounds famous directors, even when they produce utter crap. It was directed by Roman Polanski, so it's rated an unaccountable 6.7 at IMDB. Bitter Moon has some great nudity and sex (more on that tomorrow), but to be honest, the movie could not be much worse. The acting is awful, and the directing is worse. We can probably blame Polanski for the acting as well, since he hired these people and let them perform like this. But don't take my word for it - check out the full-length version of the clip above (zipped .avi), in which Hugh Grant seems to be a subtle acting genius compared to Peter Coyote. And check out the sound of the gunshots! Polanski himself has said this is a comedy. The film's admirers don't really seem to agree, but Polanski's interpretation actually makes more sense if you watch that clip. While it is ridiculous as drama, it might plausibly be interpreted as a very, very, dark genre spoof.  (Movie House Review).
  • Here (zipped .avi) is some actress or another falling out of her dress on camera live at the Emmys. (She's a black-haired woman, and can be seen over the right shoulder of the group's spokesman (to his left as you look at the scene.)
  • Clare Carey in Weeds. (Zipped .avi) Here's one to put up on your plasma. This scene is captured in 1920x1080 res. Is she really almost 40 years old? Remarkably well preserved.  Sample caps below in actual size.






The Filthy Critic gives a film four stars. Can you guess which one?

Complete list of Emmy winners

Low necklines, halter tops rule at Emmys

Remembering Jim Croce: Time in a Bottle
  • Every time I want to feel really old, I remind myself that Jim has been dead for 33 years. Lotta time. Not enough bottles.

Sissel, the Norwegian folk singer, does a gorgeous, heart-wrenching version of Shenandoah. (Only problem, she can't pronounce the word "wide")

... How the hell tall is this woman? She looks like Shaq compared to her musicians.

"Truthiness," "Wikiality" named TV words of year

Indian trains hire monkeys to ward off other monkeys

NASA Scrubs Shuttle Launch Citing Lightning Strike

Very funny interview with Conan: The ''Late Night'' host reveals his secret plans for the 58th annual Emmy Awards

Weekend Box Office Results for August 25-27, 2006
  • Invincible was #1 by a wide margin. Everything else was about tied for second.
  • Beerfest kind of bombed. Slated for second, it will be 4th at best, and might finish much lower when the estimates are finalized.
  • Snakes on a Plane might have set some kind of record, dropping from #1 to #9. Once again though, it could move up some notches in the corrected tallies.
  • Ricky Bobby held in there at #2!
  • Little Miss Sunshine continued to outperform most of the wide releases
  • The week was just about exactly even with last year.

Former US president slaps down 'subservient' Blair
  • Wow. It can't be good for Blair if Jimmy Carter thinks he's wimpy. How big a pussy do you have to be before Jimmy Carter starts to notice?

One of the very few highlights in the history of acceptance speeches. Jim Carrey accepts an MTV Movie Award in 1999.



Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Rome (2005) - Day 2. Episodes 2 through 5.

In episode two, Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pulio return to Rome with plunder, and with young Octavio, son of Attia, whom they rescued from people who stole Caesar's eagle standard. The entire series is seen through their eyes. Lucius returns to find his wife, whom he hasn't seen in 8 years, holding a young baby. She tells him it is the son of their 13-year-old daughter. Meanwhile, Caesar is clearly at odds with Pompey and the entire senate.

We see a breast from Indira Varma's character when she nurses the baby, proving that she was, in fact, unfaithful to Lucius. Polly Walker shows breasts, as do three unknowns.

In episode three, Caesar is rapidly advancing toward Rome, which caught Pompey by surprise, and Pompey is forced to feel the city, after declaring Caesar a traitor, and forcing all senators and nobles to flee with him. In a major mistake, he asks some of his men to transport the Roman treasury. When Caesar arrives, the city is his for the taking. Meanwhile, Pulio has found the treasury money.

Polly Walker again shows breasts, buns and bush.

Episode 4 has Lucius trying to make a living outside the military, and, as Caesar is settling in, Pulio shows up with Pompey's son and news of the treasury money. Caesar returns the son to Pompey with an offer of truce that he knows Pompey will not accept.

There is no nudity in this episode.

Episode 5 has Lucius returning to the military, Caesar's wife forcing him to stop his extramarital affairs and march on Pompey, and Pulio learns the truth about his friend Luscius' wife. Caesar arrives to find that Pompey has sailed for Greece.

There is no nudity in this episode.

A great deal of historical research was done for this script, and one of the special features has pop-up text messages where you can learn more about Roman customs. Fiction was only used where there are still gaps in history. I am far enough into the series now to say that the art direction and photography are excellent. The story is also compelling. It is no wonder this series is popular.




Polly Walker -episode 2
Polly Walker -episode 3
Indira Varma (or a stunt nipple)
Unknown actresses - episode two






Karen Mayo-Chandler in Hard to Die

Geena Davis in The Long Kiss Goodnight

Katherine Heigl and the twins looking mah-velous at the Emmy Awards

JLH.  See Heigl's comments - ditto. Look at Love's shoulders. I never realized that she had such beautiful skin. I guess I had previously been looking lower.

Sophie Marceau in her ripe physical prime in Pour Sacha, showing off that great body.

A very slim Charlize Theron wears a bikini as she walks her doggie on Malibu Beach, and shows off some impressive legs.

Leigh Taylor-Young in "I Love You, Alice B Toklas."

Dancer Aida Gomez showing off some serious jumbo jacks as she does the nude dance in Salome. This film was directed by the legendary Carlos Saura, who has been at it now for 50 years, and is working on yet another film, a drama based on the life of 18th century Italian lyricist Lorenzo da Ponte, who collaborated with Mozart on "Don Giovanni."



Pat's comments in yellow...


Did The Voters Watch Any TV This Year? - Last night on the Emmys, "24" won
Best Drama and "The Office" was Best Comedy, but most of the awards went to old-timers instead of groundbreaking new shows.  "Office" favorite Steve Carrell lost Best Comedy Actor to Tony Shaloub, who won for the third time for "Monk;" while Megan Mullally won her second Best Supporting Actress for the canceled "Will & Grace;" and Alan Alda won Best Supporting Actor for the now-canceled "West Wing."

*  Megan Mullally's Wonderbra won the Emmy for Best Support.

The Jornal de Sao Paulo reports that Mattel is threatening to sue Brazilian artist Karin Schwarz over a photo exhibit called "Amazing Girls" that depicts Barbie in compromising lesbian situations.  Mattel gave her 24 hours to take it down, but she refused.  She said, "Barbie is exploited by Mattel.  She wears a bikini, she shows off her belly, has big breasts, and even has a boyfriend," and the exhibit liberates her.  But a Mattel spokesman replied, "Barbie is a very proper lady and she is not happy about being portrayed as something that she isn't...Also, Barbie is 46 years old; she should be respected!"

*  Barbie can't be a lesbian; she doesn't own a single pair of comfortable


A police deputy in Yavapai County, Arizona, happened to notice a marijuana plant growing in the driveway of a retirement community near Prescott.  The elderly residents didn't know what it was: they thought it was a pretty weed, so they nurtured it until it was five feet tall and blooming.  The officer figured it might have grown from a seed dropped by a visiting grandchild.  He didn't arrest the seniors, but he pulled out the plant and "educated them."

*  It either came from a grandkid, or else Willie Nelson has a second home


The London Daily Mail reports that Mick Jagger is finding it harder to keep up a grueling two-hour rock performance at age 63, but he's found a trick to help.  A spokesman confirmed that when Keith Richards does his two solo songs halfway through the show, Mick goes backstage and straps on an oxygen mask to give him the boost he needs to do the second half.  A
band spokesman insisted that "lots of singers have an oxygen tank by the stage.  It's fairly common."

* I'm so old, I remember when the sucking backstage at a Stones concert didn't involve oxygen tanks.

Two Princeton University researchers say that tall people not only earn more than short people, they're smarter, and it's not just discrimination: tall children do better on cognitive tests as young as age three

* Finally! This explains why great basketball players all win those full scholarships.