Malice (1992). (Movie
House review) Silly thriller that is so implausible as to
undermine any credibility it might have had, but I liked Alec
Baldwin's demented performance. (SPOILERS)
In the convoluted plot, he was a doctor being sued. It turns out
that he and the patient conspired to defraud the insurance
company, so the higher the settlement, the higher would be his
half of the booty. Therefore, he had to convince the jury or the
insurance boys that he was an irresponsible madman. It's a premise
designed for scenery-chewing, and Baldwin made the most of it. (Zipped
.wmv)
Cold Mountain (2003). (Movie
House review) Typical 1950s "epic" movie, albeit made in
2003. An overproduced and phony-baloney Hollywood film in which Kidman keeps getting more and more beautiful as the Civil War puts
her through ever-greater hardships. It was fairly popular
with people who like old-fashioned movies like The English Patient, and the
damned film even got some buzz going for an Oscar Best Picture
nomination which never materialized. It was nominated for seven
other Oscars, but won only for Best Supporting Actress (not
Kidman, but Zellweger.) (Zipped
.wmv)
Video clips: Insecticidal
I haven't seen this and, God willing, won't ever have to ...
unless one of these women strikes the big time.
Here is a great summary from IMDb:
Brilliant sorority girl
Cami's experiment in insect intelligence goes awry, leaving
giant, mutant insects hunting for food in a sorority house -
and the only thing to eat is beautiful sorority sisters! The
insect horrors increase in size while their source of food
shrinks. The girls fight a savage hit and run battle with
whatever weapons they can find. But the insects have more on
their super-intelligent minds than food. Beautiful Josi
becomes a host for more than sorority parties when she is
infected with the next generation of mutant insects! Cami and
a few survivors survive the night, leaving insect carnage
throughout the house. But to deal with a bug problem, you have
to kill them ALL ...
Kristin Scott-Thomas in
Bitter Moon, slowed down to 1/8 time.
(Zipped
.wmv) This movie is a perfect illustration of the "halo
principle" that surrounds famous directors, even when they
produce utter crap. It was directed by Roman Polanski, so it's
rated an unaccountable 6.7 at IMDB. Bitter Moon has some great
nudity and sex (more on that tomorrow), but to be honest, the
movie could not be much worse. The acting is awful, and the
directing is worse. We can probably blame Polanski for the
acting as well, since he hired these people and let them
perform like this. But don't take my word for it - check out
the full-length version of the clip above (zipped
.avi), in which Hugh Grant seems to be a subtle acting
genius compared to Peter Coyote. And check out the sound of
the gunshots! Polanski himself has said this is a comedy. The
film's admirers don't really seem to agree, but Polanski's
interpretation actually makes more sense if you watch that
clip. While it is ridiculous as drama, it might plausibly be
interpreted as a very, very, dark genre spoof. (Movie
House Review).
Here (zipped
.avi) is some actress or another falling out of her dress
on camera live at the Emmys. (She's a black-haired woman, and
can be seen over the right shoulder of the group's spokesman
(to his left as you look at the scene.)
Clare Carey in Weeds. (Zipped
.avi) Here's one to put up on your plasma. This scene is
captured in 1920x1080 res. Is she really almost 40 years old?
Remarkably well preserved. Sample caps below in actual
size.
Invincible was #1 by a wide margin. Everything else was about tied for second.
Beerfest kind of bombed. Slated for second, it will be 4th at best, and might finish much lower when the estimates are finalized.
Snakes on a Plane might have set some kind of record, dropping from #1 to #9. Once again though, it could move up some notches in the corrected tallies.
Ricky Bobby held in there at #2!
Little Miss Sunshine continued to outperform most of the wide releases
The week was just about exactly even with last year.
Wow. It can't be good for Blair if Jimmy Carter thinks he's wimpy. How big a pussy do you have to be before Jimmy Carter starts to notice?
One of the very few highlights in the history of acceptance
speeches.
Jim Carrey accepts an MTV Movie Award in 1999.
Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
Rome (2005) - Day 2. Episodes 2 through 5.
In episode two, Lucius Vorenus and Titus Pulio return to Rome with plunder,
and with young Octavio, son of Attia, whom they rescued from people who stole
Caesar's eagle standard. The entire series is seen through their eyes. Lucius
returns to find his wife, whom he hasn't seen in 8 years, holding a young
baby. She tells him it is the son of their 13-year-old daughter. Meanwhile,
Caesar is clearly at odds with Pompey and the entire senate.
We see a breast from Indira Varma's character when she nurses the baby,
proving that she was, in fact, unfaithful to Lucius. Polly Walker shows
breasts, as do three unknowns.
In episode three, Caesar is rapidly advancing toward Rome, which caught
Pompey by surprise, and Pompey is forced to feel the city, after declaring
Caesar a traitor, and forcing all senators and nobles to flee with him. In a
major mistake, he asks some of his men to transport the Roman treasury. When
Caesar arrives, the city is his for the taking. Meanwhile, Pulio has found the
treasury money.
Polly Walker again shows breasts, buns and bush.
Episode 4 has Lucius trying to make a living outside the military, and, as
Caesar is settling in, Pulio shows up with Pompey's son and news of the
treasury money. Caesar returns the son to Pompey with an offer of truce that
he knows Pompey will not accept.
There is no nudity in this episode.
Episode 5 has Lucius returning to the military, Caesar's wife forcing him
to stop his extramarital affairs and march on Pompey, and Pulio learns the
truth about his friend Luscius' wife. Caesar arrives to find that Pompey has
sailed for Greece.
There is no nudity in this episode.
A great deal of historical research was done for this script, and one of
the special features has pop-up text messages where you can learn more about
Roman customs. Fiction was only used where there are still gaps in history. I
am far enough into the series now to say that the art direction and
photography are excellent. The story is also compelling. It is no wonder this
series is popular.
Polly Walker -episode 2
Polly Walker -episode 3
Indira Varma
(or a stunt nipple)
Unknown actresses - episode two
Karen Mayo-Chandler in Hard to Die
Geena Davis in The Long Kiss Goodnight
Katherine Heigl and the twins looking
mah-velous at the Emmy Awards
JLH. See Heigl's comments - ditto. Look
at Love's shoulders. I never realized that she had such beautiful skin. I
guess I had previously been looking lower.
Sophie Marceau in her ripe physical prime in
Pour Sacha, showing off that great body.
A very slim
Charlize Theron wears a bikini as she walks her
doggie on Malibu Beach, and shows off some impressive legs.
Leigh Taylor-Young in "I Love You, Alice B
Toklas."
Dancer Aida Gomez showing off some serious
jumbo jacks as she does the nude dance in Salome. This film was directed by
the legendary Carlos Saura, who has been at it now for 50 years, and is
working on yet another film, a drama based on the life of 18th century
Italian lyricist Lorenzo da Ponte, who collaborated with Mozart on "Don
Giovanni."
Pat's comments in yellow...
EMMY AWARDS WRAP-UP
Did The Voters Watch Any TV This Year? - Last night on the Emmys, "24" won
Best Drama and "The Office" was Best Comedy, but most of the awards went to
old-timers instead of groundbreaking new shows. "Office" favorite Steve Carrell
lost Best Comedy Actor to Tony Shaloub, who won for the third time for "Monk;"
while Megan Mullally won her second Best Supporting Actress for the canceled
"Will & Grace;" and Alan Alda won Best Supporting Actor for the now-canceled
"West Wing."
* Megan Mullally's Wonderbra won the Emmy for Best
Support.
The Jornal de Sao Paulo reports that Mattel is threatening to sue Brazilian
artist Karin Schwarz over a photo exhibit called "Amazing Girls" that depicts
Barbie in compromising lesbian situations. Mattel gave her 24 hours to take it
down, but she refused. She said, "Barbie is exploited by Mattel. She wears a
bikini, she shows off her belly, has big breasts, and even has a boyfriend," and
the exhibit liberates her. But a Mattel spokesman replied, "Barbie is a very
proper lady and she is not happy about being portrayed as something that she
isn't...Also, Barbie is 46 years old; she should be respected!"
* Barbie can't be a lesbian; she doesn't own a single
pair of comfortable
shoes.
A police deputy in Yavapai County, Arizona, happened to notice a marijuana plant
growing in the driveway of a retirement community near Prescott. The elderly
residents didn't know what it was: they thought it was a pretty weed, so they
nurtured it until it was five feet tall and blooming. The officer figured it
might have grown from a seed dropped by a visiting grandchild. He didn't arrest
the seniors, but he pulled out the plant and "educated them."
* It either came from a grandkid, or else Willie
Nelson has a second home
there.
The London Daily Mail reports that Mick Jagger is finding it harder to keep up a
grueling two-hour rock performance at age 63, but he's found a trick to help. A
spokesman confirmed that when Keith Richards does his two solo songs halfway
through the show, Mick goes backstage and straps on an oxygen mask to give him
the boost he needs to do the second half. A
band spokesman insisted that "lots of singers have an oxygen tank by the stage.
It's fairly common."
* I'm so old, I remember when the sucking backstage at a
Stones concert didn't involve oxygen tanks.
Two Princeton University researchers say that tall people not only earn more
than short people, they're smarter, and it's not just discrimination: tall
children do better on cognitive tests as young as age three
* Finally! This explains why great basketball players
all win those full scholarships.
