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Tuesday
Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net
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Use this search device to seek additional information from amazon.com about any of the books or movies you read about here.
To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.
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| Tuna
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"Barfly"
Barfly (1987) is a slice of life film about two Barflies. Mickey Rourke and Faye Dunaway were cast against type, and performed brilliantly. The screenplay was written by poet and author Charles Bukowski, who lived on the streets, and feels true art should be absolutely real. The story is autobiographical, and concerns three days is his life. As the film opens,we enter a bar, then go out to the alley to see Rourke and the bartender trying to pound each others face in. Rourke is doing it because people think he can't, and because the bartender is a macho asshole, who treats all of his customers as if they were scum. Rourke loses badly, and is left unconscious on the sidewalk.
The next day, we see him do a little writing, discover that some upper class woman has hired a PI to find him, and see him go back to the bar and kick the crap out of the bartender. He stops in another bar to celebrate the victory, and spots Dunaway at the end of the bar sitting alone. He asks the bartender about her, and is told that people leave her alone because she is crazy. That is high praise as far as Rourke is concerned, and he heads over, and spend his last two dollars buying them a drink. When she learns he is broke, she takes him home.
He learns that she is every bit as much a barfly as he is. She informs him that if a man came to her with a fifth, she would probably go home with him, and that she makes bad decisions when she drinks. Rourke moves in to save rent. LIfe gets more complicated when the upper class woman finds him, and turns out to own a literary magazine. She wants to pay him for a short story, and take shim home to bed. The film is perfectly book-ended, as we see Rourke enter the same bar, but this time with Dunaway. In comes the magazine owner, and we are treated to a terrific cat fight. Like real life, there is no redemption here. They start the film drunks, and end the film drunks, although, for the moment, they are drinking together.
Dunaway shows both nipples in a bathign scene, lots of leg in her apartment, and her panty crotch during a cat fight. The Widescreen DVD is beautifully transferred, and full of special features.Ebert awarded 4 stars, IMDB readers say 6.6 of 10, and, while I completely agree with Ebert, it is properly a C+, as it is not for everyone.
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Faye Dunaway
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"The Secret Sex Lives of Romeo and Juliet"
The Secret Sex Lives of Romeo and Juliet (1968) is another costumer from Harry Novak, and shares a DVD with The Notorious Cleopatra. Again, the transfer is beautiful, this time with a Widescreen transfer, and a feature length commentary from a whole crowd, including Novak. The film included some interesting cast members, including cult director William Rotsler, director of many films Bethel G. Buckalew (who is actually named John Cole), and Jay Fineberg and Jimmy Johnson, who owned and managed the Pussycat theators.The film was made in three to four weeks in a one room store studio, Each wall was turned into a different setup. Total budget was about $200K, and Novak claimed that it grossed millions. Again, the film is full of red bush, and very loosely based on Shakespeare's work. They adopted a Laugh-in approach, with lines like "beautiful downtown Verona," "sock it to me," and "Here come da prince."
Juliet is far from a blushing virgin, but wants to get together with that hot stud Romeo, but their parents are feuding. Everyone has sex with everyone, and all of the women show everything over and over. I included Diedre Nelson, who plays Juliet, Karen Thomas as a maid, Antoinette Maynard and Dorthea Cristie, also maids, and Mickey Jines, who plays Lady Capulet. The film was a pure delight in the drive-ins when it was released, and is still seeing distribution to this day. Asked if he would make a sequel, Novak said it would be too expensive to do nowadays. 8 people at IMDB have this at 4.5 of 10. He, it is a late 60's skin flick, suitable as a date film, and is well photographed, well acted, and full of good looking women and hot sex scenes. Based on that, it is a C+.
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| Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Updates
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Volume M includes three new personal volumes which are long overdue -
Virginia Madsen, Elle Macpherson, and Kate Moss. More than 200 pictures
between the three of them. The Encyclopedia now includes more than 35,000
images. Tuna's section includes between 25,000 and 30,000 - and that includes
only his own work! The entire site now includes more than 200,000 .jpg's.
Movies
Cocktail is not a good
movie, representing pretty much the career nadir for every major participant (Cruise, the director and
the writer). The nudity is as undeveloped as the rest of the script. Cruise and
Gershon do a lengthy sportfuck, falling out of the bed, hanging from the
chandeliers, the usual "uninhibited movie fucking" cliches. Only two problems (1) the scene was lighted with 5 watt
bulbs (2) in all that time, they keep adjusting the covers so that nothing
interesting is exposed. Pretty fucking uninhibited, eh? Therefore, you have one or two frames of Gershon nipple
in Stygian darkness. In the other scene, you have Shue's breasts, no nipples at
all.
- Elisabeth Shue
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- Gina Gershon
(1,
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Now here's some nudity! The Sheltering Sky was
Bertolucci's next project after his great success, The
Last Emperor, which grossed forty million and won just about every possible
Oscar. This one grossed next to nothing, and won no Oscars. I don't know how
much money they lost on this, but it has to be close to the all-time record,
because the production was of epic proportions. It looks magnificent, and
sounds even better - nearly two and half hours of sweeping views of the Sahara and
perfect atmospheric shots of other
North African locations. The film itself is completely opaque. I understood
what happened, no confusion there, and I understood why it happened. I just
didn't care, not for a second. On the other hand, it is a tremendous
travelogue. It would make a good IMAX film, and the nudity occurs frequently.
- Debra Winger. Every inch of her body makes an appearance.
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- Amina Annabi. Unadjusted. This woman has some of the biggest, most
beautiful natural breasts you'll ever see. Check out collage #3.
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- Amina Annabi. Because Amina is gorgeous, and because Bertolucci just
loves that amber filter, I decided to adjust the images back to their
original color. No collages, just the raw frames from the first four collage
above.
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Other crap
- Another crazy radio station contest:
"Fax us your
privates"
- Yasmine Bleeth wedding bells! The former Baywatch babe is tying the knot
with boyfriend, Paul Cerrito, in a private ceremony in Santa Barbara,
according to Entertainment Tonight's Web site.
Here's her
recent mugshot, in lieu of a bridal pose.
- Veteran screen tough guy CLINT EASTWOOD is set to reprise his most famous
role - as hard-as-nails cop Dirty Harry. After a string of box office
disappointments (despite good reviews for Blood Work), Eastwood thinks one
final outing as Harry Callaghan will make his day. Eastwood's agent Leonard
Hirsham says, "If a good script came along he would play Dirty Harry again."
Hirsham thinks that Clint's fans want him to play the avenging tough guy.
He adds, "The public does not like Clint to be vulnerable or to die in the
movie. They want to see Clint be Clint." Clint is what, 105 years old? "Go
ahead, make my toddy".
- Which celebrity is most in tune with your biorhythms?
Find out here. I did
this, and it told me my best match was Amy Irving, a woman I really don't
like. My next best? Kathie Lee Gifford and the late Karen Carpenter. I guess
I wasn't meant for a celebrity partner.
Jr's note...I made out a little better, my best match was Kristy Swanson!
- From the Library of Congress.
The origins of
American Animation.
- Is Serena Williams a babe?
The NY Post thinks so.
- Kournikova slaughtered by unknown high school student in first round,
but she looked mah-velous
- What is the most versatile word in the English language? You know the
answer, but maybe you haven't seen
the full case.
- Hey, Scoop: I heard on the radio this morning that Edie Falco and
Stanley Tucci are starring together in "Frankie and Johnnie" on Broadway.
The DJ said that he saw the performance and both Falco and Tucci appeared "completely nude" in the opening scene. I don't know if any pics are floating
around.
Here's the story.
- ARGENTO'S SLIP OF THE TONGUE: Sexy Italian actress ASIA ARGENTO
accidentally confessed to having plastic surgery after a
misunderstanding. The XXX star revealed slightly more than was required at a
recent press conference for the spy flick, according to an American tabloid.
The Italian stunner misheard a question from a reporter asking where she got
her boots from and replied that she got her boobs done by a plastic surgeon.
A silence descended on the media before the mix-up was explained.
- Weekly World News reports that
the
Chinese will attack America by drilling through the earth's core. Man, I
hope they have some good air conditioning. It gets mighty hot down there in
the earth's core.
- “If all goes according to plan, within six years
they’ll break through on the other side, we believe somewhere in Oklahoma,
around the Bartlesville area,” reveals the high-level source at the National
Security Agency (NSA). Roughly 500 million bloodthirsty, screaming Chinese
troops will come pouring out of that hole -- hell-bent on a bold mission to
conquer the United States, reduce our people to slavery and seize all our
women.”
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant
humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
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| RDO
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'Caps and comments by RDO:
Scoop,
Here is my reader's digest version of the Ken Russell movie "Crimes of Passion" (1984).
- Janice Renney, topless and rear nudity.
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- Kathleen Turner, topless
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| Heidi Klum
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Here's another look at The GQ 45th Anniversary issue with überbabe Heidi Klum starring as several different actresses in their most famous poses. This batch of scans by Big Daddy and Cougar are bigger versions of the scans we ran a few days ago.
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| Variety
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| Alexandra Pic and Isabelle Teboul |
Both are topless in scenes from the French movie "Two Orphan Vampires", by legendary Euro-sleaze director Jean Rollin. Thanks to Dann for the collages.
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Lene Elise Bergum
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The Norwegian actress topless in scenes from "Hodet over vannet", aka "Head Above Water" (1993).
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Clara Mars
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Close up nipple sightings and rear views in scenes from "Le Miroir du désir" (1996), by Mortis.
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| The Funnies by Number 6
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Texas Humor
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