"Behind Locked Doors"

Behind Locked Doors (1968) is a horror film of uncertain parentage, and has also been known as Any Time ... Anywhere and Behind Closed Doors. It was distributed in the US by Harry Novak's Box Office International. It is being released as half of a double bill by Something Weird Video along with The Beautiful, the Bare and the Bloody, which is full of nude models, none of whom are identified. Eve Reeves and coworker and new friend Joyce Danner are at a party in a barn in the middle of nowhere. Someone attempts to rape Reeves in a hayloft, and a strange older party crasher stops him. When the girls leave, their car is mysteriously out of gas, and the nearest phone happens to belong to ... everyone who guessed the strange party crasher, mark that answer right. Seems he is conducting research to find out what type of girls is the best sex partner, aided by is sister, who keeps house for him, and a muscular but simple-minded handyman.

Just to add to the fun, Danner is secretly a carpet muncher, and has the hots for Reeves. Through in a little whipping from the weird sister, a long history of previous victims of the experiments, and an ending that makes absolutely no sense, and what we have is an unknown film that could well become a cult favorite. It is not just bad, it is impossibly bad, with bad acting, a stupid plot, the aforementioned nonsensical ending, and a terrible transfer from a scratched work print. Reeves shows all three Bs, Danner shows breasts and buns, and five other women show breasts. IMDb readers have this at 3.0 of 10, but a small cult following has written very positive comments there. In the right mood, I could appreciate the strangeness of the film, making it a C-.

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  • Eve Reeves (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
  • Joyce Danner (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.


    The Dreamers, Part 2


    Here's the second part of. Eva Green in Bertolucci's film. Great nudity. Great body.




    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Graphic Response
    Here are couple of scenes from the Anthony Hopkins/Nicole Kidman movie, "The Human Stain" (2003)...

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Some more clips (divx .avis), this time from "Embrace the Darkness II". It's a vampire movie, so it really sucks. But there are more nekkid gals than you can shake a wooden stake at.

    Catalina Larranga plays one of the vamps. Take a careful look at the second clip; looks to me like Cat and her friend were do the true nasty, no tricks or fakes.

    Jr's Note...I agree with Brain about vid #2. I watched it about 8 times, and if they aren't really doing the deed, it's probably the best pseudo sex ever filmed.

    • Catalina Larranga (1, 2)

    Diana Espen, aka pornster April Flowers, does the gynocam boogie. She serves as a late-night snack for Cat Larranga.

    • Diana Espen (April Flowers) (1, 2)

    Crossover adult film star, Jezebelle Bond, plays half of the first meal this movie's vampires consume on screen. The vamps have the habit of either boffing someone before they eat em or watching a couple boff one another before both get eaten. Sex and a snack, all in one handy package.

    In the first clip Jezebelle's topless, in the second she gives up major rear goodies. You will want to see that one for sure.

    • Jezebelle Bond (1, 2)

    Katie Lohmann, Hefmate for April 2001, plays a Goth girl treat for the three vampires. She strips in clip 1 and gives us a good look at her cooch in the second clip. By my count, Katie's appeared topless or naked in 14 movies, including the recent, well-captured Dorm Daze.

    • Katie Lohmann (1, 2)

    Last up is the best of the batch, Renee Rea. She has four nude scenes, lasting a total of 15 minutes in this movie. These four clips follow some order: 1) topless; 2) gyno; 3) topless; 4) marvo-bum. Gotta love this gal.

    • Renee Rea (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today from the Ghost...'caps and clips from a very early Troma film called "Squeeze Play" (1980).

    • Jennifer Hetrick, topless. Unlike many Troma babes, Hetrick went on to do many non-Troma things (including A-List TV) and still works a little today. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
    • Jennifer Hetrick zipped .wmvs (1, 2)

    Katja Riemann
    (1, 2)

    The German actress going full frontal (#1) and topless (#2) in scenes from the Canadian movie "Desire" (2000).

    Stefania Sandrelli The long time star of Italian cinema mostly topless (the only thing covering her nipples are sea shells) in scenes from one of her early movies "Io la conoscevo bene" (1965).

    Janet Suzman The South African born actress bares a breast in a scene from the 1982 movie "The Draughtsman's Contract", written and directed by Peter Greenaway.

    Alice Korankova
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    The beautiful Czech Model showing off her big'uns. There is also a hint of a thong view in #2.

    Neha Dhupia
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    The Indian actress looking very sexy, but not nude in scenes from "Julie" (2004).

    Summer Phoenix
    (1, 2)

    The youngest member of the Phoenix siblings topless in scenes from the indie film (and Grand Jury Prize winner at Sundance 2001) "The Believer" (2001).

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "The Brown Bunny" (Trailer)
    I don't usually cap movie trailers, but this one is kind of interesting.

    The movie has gotten a ton of publicity, mainly because of an oral sex scene which the participants say was not simulated. ChloŽ Sevigny said in an interview that she did the deed. The trailer doesn't show that, of course, but it does have nudity, which is different than a lot of trailers. They often cut the trailers just before anything shows.

    Aside from that, it's a movie about a professional motorcycle racer traveling across the country to race again. Opinions of people who have seen it are all over the place, but provided the oral scene stays in, it should do a heavy boxoffice.

    Natacha Amal Very lovely breast exposure from the Euro-actress in scenes from the Italian film "Gialloparma" aka "Scandalous Crimes" (1999).

    (1, 2)

    The French actress topless in scenes from the 1974 Gťrard Depardieu movie "Les Valseuses" aka "Going Places". 'Caps by Dragonscan.

    Natalia Verbeke
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the Argentina-born actress briefly baring all 3 B's in scenes from the Spanish movie "El Otro lado de la cama" aka "The Other Side of the Bed" (2002).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    A Piece Rally - Some of the protests at the GOP Convention may be more entertaining than the main event. A group called "Axis of Eve" sent out e-mails depicting the torso of a young woman lifting her skirt to reveal red panties that read "Weapons of Mass Seduction." It was an invitation to their rally, the "Mass Flash," in which more than 100 women will show their opposition to Bush by simultaneously showing their underpants.

  • Sharon Stone may forget her panties, which could send the message she's pro-Bush.
  • Don't get too excited: the women include Whoopi Goldberg, Camryn Manheim, Janeane Garafalo and Barbra Streisand.
  • Was this Bill Clinton's idea?

    A Mass Of Weapon Distraction - Janet Jackson accused President Bush of using the breast she exposed at the Super Bowl to distract Americans from the Iraq War. Jackson told Genre magazine, "When you see 'Fahrenheit 9/11," it just confirms it."

  • No, the only big, bouncy boobs in that movie were Michael Moore's.
  • Janet's boob is only supposed to be used to distract the American people from noticing that she can't sing.
  • She can't believe someone would exploit and degrade her body like that!
  • And she's supposed to be the sane Jackson.

    It Took Both Ears - Top plastic surgeon Prof. Werner Mang of the Bodensee Hospital in Lindau on the German-Swiss border told American TV documentary maker Daphne Barak that he flew to California in 1998 to save Michael Jackson's nose. Mang said Jackson's skin was stretched as thin as parchment and his nose was falling apart, and Mang thinks he had wanted "to change from a black man to a white woman." Mang said he repaired the nose with some cartilage from Jackson's ear and it's fine now, but he warned him it would be dangerous to have more facial surgery.

  • Or to sneeze...or to breathe.
  • And if he sticks a Q-Tip in his ear, his head will fall off.
  • He also refused Michael's request for breast implants.
  • If you see Michael wearing a nose-ring, look closely: it used to be an earring.

    Show Me Your Staple! - Greg Gutfeld, the new American editor of Maxim UK, has a novel idea for snaring readers: offer them dates with Maxim's scantily-clad models. He found beautiful women who wanted the opportunity to model so much that they agreed to date readers in return. There will also be a new section called "Little Black Book," featuring 101 women willing to date Maxim readers. Gutfeld said, "It's a nice counter effect to what men's mags normally do, which is to show some incredibly beautiful woman who would never look at you."

  • Some magazines show you ugly naked chicks with tattoos who still wouldn't look at you.
  • These women are so desperate to model, they'll force themselves to look at you.
  • It wasn't easy finding women who are beautiful, stupid and nearsighted.
  • To make Maxim readers feel more at home, their dates will charge them $3.99 a minute.