Video clips: Charlize Theron, Part 4 of 3

I did one of those nudographies for Charlize Theron, like the one for Connelly last week. This one is even bigger (122 meg), and is hosted at RapidShare:

Theron's Nudography



Video clips: Nicole Kidman, Part 1 of ?

We may as well move right on to the next subject. Here's Kidman in Windrider (1986)

The All Movie Guide describes it as follows:

This is a youth-oriented romantic drama about the relationship of a champion surfer and a rock singer. Enhanced by impressive sequences of surfboard derring-do and the exotic scenery of Western Australia (as well as the first adult role for Nicole Kidman), this film has plenty to keep young audiences entertained. P.C. Simpson  lives in a magnificent beachfront home with his wealthy father and indulges his passion for surfing on a daily basis. His father may fault him for not working at a regular job, but he can appreciate his son's remarkable abilities on the waves. Jade (Kidman) is a rock singer who starts an romance with the surfer, but just as it seems his life could not get better, several setbacks occur that threaten a wipeout.

That description is WAY too generous. The AMG has one thing right. This lightweight flick is obviously targeted at young audiences, VERY young ones, who may find the ridiculous rubber shark believable, the juvenile humor amusing, and Kidman's (dubbed) lame pop songs entertaining. Originally to be called Making Waves, this is basically the Aussie equivalent of a Frankie/Annette movie, a silly concoction filmed entirely in Perth in late 1985, in which the main conflict is that the surfer has to get to the big surfing finals even though he's late and there are sheep in the road. He ends up abandoning his cool beach buggy and windsurfing to the windsurfing competition. Whoda thunk it? Gee, do you think he'll win the Koala Kup and the girl? It ends abruptly with his victory and a big hug from Kidman as he waves to the crowd.

This movie has no real strengths except for some nice photography of Perth locations and actual windsurfing. The dialogue is typical Beach Blanket Bingo stuff like, "I guess that's what makes you so gosh-darn compelling." The film would now have disappeared without a trace except for one thing: its 18-year-old female star became the biggest female star on the planet, and this stands as an crucial artifact in her filmography ... and in her life, for that matter, since Kidman and her co-star, Tom Burlinson, dated for many years. Windrider was Kidman's first adult role and the future queen of elegance is barely identifiable as she schleps around in "hip" clothing, sporting a pudgy face and an enormous unkempt mane of frizzy red hair. Of interest to us is the fact that it also includes three brief Kidman nude scenes, representing her first onscreen exposure.

These clips are from a VHS tape (three .wmvs zipped together). That means the quality is blah and the size is small, but the film is otherwise unavailable. You can see some pretty good collages from this film in the Encyclopedia.




Bonus: A rare look at Kidman in Bangkok Hilton



Video clips: Deadwood (Season 3, episode 11.)

 These zipped .avi clips come from LC, the man who lives in the future.

The clip of Malcomson has some pretty sweet nudity. Samples below.

Paula Malcolmson Ashleigh Kizer




Colbert discusses the Fields Medal,
and his failure to win same.

Colbert discusses the cease-fire

Stephen Colbert Salutes Hungary

The latest update on Hungary's Stephen Colbert Bridge

The Daily Show is astounded to see a press conference in August.

The Daily Show is amazed that the President admits there was no connection between Iraq and 911.

Comedy Central's Indecision 2006 looks at racism in the campaigns.

Inside Higher Ed :: What Your Freshmen Don't Know

Redstone Vs. Cruise: The 'South Park' Conspiracy

The Political Fertility Gap - why do conservatives get stronger in every generation? They have 41% more children.

Print your own custom cover for Madden '07
  • You want Peyton Manning on the cover? You got it. Hell, you old fogeys can even put Johnny U on the cover if you care to.

Gretzky's daughter, 17, hopes for music hit

Paris Hilton music video may not be broadcast on any channel in India
  • Wise people, the Indians

Which motor vehicles are safest, by make and model?. NOTE that this study is deeply flawed. Read on ...
  • Important point #1: this does not take into consideration the vehicle's ability to avoid an accident, which is obviously an important element of safety. It postulates that you will have accident and asks which vehicles give you the best chance to avoid injuries/death in that presupposed case.
  • Important point #2: the study makes almost no attempt to adjust for, study, or control the nature of the drivers. It is an evaluation of the vehicles AND their typical drivers. There could be and probably is a strong element of self-fulfilling prophecy in the results. Pick-up trucks may appear to be higher risk because they are more likely to be driven by reckless, rural drunks, while Toyotas may appear safe simply because they are chosen by sensible, cautious drivers. However, if the cautious drivers were forced to switch from Toyoyas to Chevy S-10s, there is nothing in the study to suggest that their risk would increase.
  • What the study REALLY proves is that drivers of pick-up trucks are more likely to die in an accident than drivers of mid-sized Toyotas, but it does not show whether the vehicle itself is part of the cause. (For all we know, they may be ten times more likely to be drunk)

ACLU Sues Over Karr Treatment

More on Cruise and Paramount
  • This is great. Viacom's chairman said "His recent conduct has not been acceptable to Paramount," but they just made him a substantial offer a couple of weeeks ago. In other words, his recent conduct would have been perfectly acceptable to Paramount at a lower price tag.
  • Look at it another way. Redstone said "His recent conduct has not been acceptable ...", but did not define which "recent conduct." The media assumed he meant the stuff THEY care about, like couch-jumping, but the conduct Redstone really meant was Cruise's conduct of asking for more money than they were willing to pay him!
  • In other words, Sumner Redstone gets the 2006 Tucker Carlson award for the most disingenuous statement of the year!
  • Yeah, I know it might be more appropriate to call it the Ann Coulter award, but I've come to conclude than Coulter is NOT disingenuous. She's basically just a comic entertainer who earns a good living by pretending to be a windbag, ala Stephen Colbert.

A man who broke his girlfriend's leg after she failed to buy him a penis pump was jailed today.

Saddam: "I Killed JonBenet" ... Stunning Confession Rocks Former Dictator's Trial

The Top Ten British Assholes

Weird Al makes his new song, "Don't Download this Song," available for (free) download.

Slashdot discussion: Snakes on The Net Fail to Put Butts in the Seats
  • The mainstream media has reacted by saying that the internet "only" generated $13.8 million in theatrical ticket sales. That seems to miss the point. Without all the internet buzz, this baby probably goes straight to video.
  • Also, there never was any internet buzz about "Oh, I am so jazzed to see this film." I don't think I ever read that once. The internet meme was basically making fun of the film and its title, and riffing on Samuel L's usual screen persona. I loved reading all the internet parodies and riffs, but I never had any intention of going to see the movie. The internet buzz was about fun. The movie looked like no fun at all.
  • HOWEVER, I would have gone to see it if they had made it a parody of action/disaster films, ala Airplane!

This is not from a satire site. It is a real news article: Osama bin Laden wanted to marry Whitney Houston
  • The article also says: "In his briefcase I would come across photographs of the Star magazine, as well as copies of Playboy. He would also “ramble on” about his favourite TV shows ‘Miami Vice’, ‘The Wonder Years’ and ‘MacGyver’"
  • Wait a second, this is outrageous. Osama has a briefcase? I'll bet he even has a marked parking space for his camel.'s Early Report for August 22

What happens when you microwave a lit match? All this time I've been using my microwave to heat food, ignoring the fact that it's the ultimate home entertainment center.

Armor of God PJs - Children's Pajamas Inspired by Ephesians 6:10-18
  • Silly me. I still have my kids clad in those old, tattered Galatians PJs. I don't know whether to get them these Ephesians jammies, or to wait for the Colossians model. I guess it doesn't matter that much, now that they're in their thirties

The trailer for Red Doors
  • "'Red Doors' tells the story of the Wongs, a bizarrely dysfunctional Chinese-American family living in the New York suburbs. Ed Wong (Tzi Ma) has just retired and plots to escape his mundane life. However, the tumultuous, madcap lives of his three rebellious daughters change his plans."

Colbert Report: ThreatDown - Part 1 Part 2



Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Blind Beast vs Killer Dwarf (2001)

Blind Beast vs Killer Dwarf (2001) is director Teruo Ishii's final film. He is probably best remembered for Female Yakuza Tale: Inquisition and Torture, and other pinky violence favorites. In recent years, he had been working in TV, but decided to make an independent horror film on Hi Def video.  He took the story from two novels by Edogawa Ranpo. Several prominent directors chose to make cameo appearances.

A dime novel detective story writer goes to see diva Ranko Mizuki (Mutsumi Fujita) perform. It was to be her final performance, as she was kidnapped shortly after the performance by the blind beast. Beastie kept her captive in his makeshift art studio, where he covered female body parts with plaster, creating tactile art for the blind. After her initial disgust at him, she decided she was into it, at least until he stabbed her to death. This was not his main gig, however. He worked as a masseuse in a women's spa, which provided many "volunteers" for his art.

Meanwhile, a dwarf, who was seen carrying a woman's arm the night of the abduction by the writer, is up to his own nastiness, mutilating women and leaving limbs here and there for effect. Our writer gets his friend, a top notch police detective on the case, and the film becomes a whodunit punctuated with bare breasts and severed limbs.

While not Ishii's best effort, it was never dull, and had some gruesome moments. This film seemed like an anachronism, and would have fit in well with 80s Eurotrash horror. The Panic House release has a "making of" featurette, bios and still galleries but, unfortunately, no commentary.

This is a C-.

IMDb readers say 4.8, quite a drop from Ishii's 7.0 for Female Yukuza Tale.


Mutsumi Fujita shows breasts in several scenes ...
... as do several unknowns.
 Kaori Danjou, in the "making of" featurette, shows breasts while having her arms removed.







Seemed a good time to do a little editing and composing of paparazzi pics.  Lots of gals, most of them well-known.  A couple of persistent themes include: 1) the view when modern fashion and a certain lack of lady-like manners converge  (the Brits call 'em uppies); and 2) skin on the beach.  Paris Hilton's flash is particularly noteworthy for the fact that she is wearing any knickers at all.  And then there a few older pics (Kylie and Sara Cox) and some real old pics (Carroll Baker and Yvette Mimieux). 

Andie MacDowell Carmen di Pietro Carroll Baker Chloe Sevigny Christina Aguilera
Courteney Cox Courteney Cox Jennifer Lopez Katarina Witt Kate Bosworth
Kelly Hu Kelly Hu Kylie Mionogue Li'l' Kim Lisa Rinna
Lisa Rinna Mariah Carey Michelle Bass Michelle Heaton Nicolette Sheridan
Pamela Anderson Paris Hilton Sara Cox Scarlett Johansson Yvette Mimieux








* Ellie Parker with Naomi Watts


* The Hunt for the Unicorn Killer with Naomi Watts


* Match Point with Scarlett Johansson


* Incubus with Tara Reid


* Side Effects with Katherine Heigl


* Headspace with Pollyanna McIntosh ...


 and Tatiana Vidus








Tanya Allen in Silent Hill

Amy Adams and Salma Hayek swap ... er .. yarns. Look at Salma's unwrinkled face. She sure doesn't age much, does she?

Chick volleyball in HD. How can you not love a sport in which big, athletic women play in skimpy bikini bottoms?

Kerri Walsh Jennifer Boss Misty May-Treanor


Pat's comments in yellow...

A poll by Budget Van Insurance in Britain found the top sexual fantasies of men and women.  Topping the list: 47 percent of women fantasize about firefighters, while 54 percent of men daydream about nurses.  Women are also hot for (in descending order) soldiers, businessmen, doctors and athletes, while men also fantasize about maids and flight attendants.  40 percent of both sexes fantasize about having sex with a celebrity.  At the bottom of the list: only 1.7 percent of women fantasize about politicians.

*  No wonder. You don't have to fantasize about being screwed by a politician.


Jarislav Emst of Gilwice, Poland, had his cancerous tongue removed, but doctors were able to construct a new tongue for him using tissue from his buttocks.  They sewed it into his mouth, and they say blood is circulating into it and he appears to be doing well.

*  The patient said he feels fine, but he could just be talking out his ass.

Police in China are cracking down on funerals that use strippers to draw
a big crowd.  The number of guests is considered a sign of respect for the
deceased, and last week, police in Donghai County raided a funeral that
included five strippers

* The deceased wasn't the only stiff guy at that funeral


Phonetics Prof. John Wells of the University of London said his study confirms farmers' claims that cows moo with regional accents, perhaps because they live in isolated herds and are influenced by their immediate peer group

* Or maybe they're trying to impress other cows with their fake accents, like Madonna.


TODAY's BIRTHDAYS - Steve Guttenberg  is 48. Kenny Baker (the actor inside "R2D2") is 72.

*  There is something to astrology. They're the only two actors whose entire career is inside a trash can.