Friday

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To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

• Netscape 6.2.2 is available free for download or on CD.
• MSIE 6.0 is available free.

Downstairs Upstairs (1980), although from the Golden Era of porn, is more like a British sex farce in that it never takes itself seriously. As new upstairs maid Sherrisse, in her only credited appearance, reports for work, she encounters downstairs maid Lisa DeLeeuw giving the mailman head through the letter slot. The mother of the house is played by Kay Parker, the older busty superstar known mostly for her role as the mother in Taboo. Seka plays the daughter. The household includes a horny midget chef, a horny butler, a son put in for comic relief, and the father. Everyone has sex with everyone, all over the house and grounds.

The story is weak, here -- very weak by Golden Era standards, and this film is only notable for the appearance of three superstars of early porn, Kay Parker, Seka and Lisa DeLeeuw. Director credit is given to Lisa Barr, actually Joseph Barr, who spent most of his career behind the camera, and was the DP for the classic Alice in Wonderland. Running gags in the film include the father never wearing pants, and his only eating hot dogs. The sex scenes, which are plentiful, are not very hot or erotic, and feature the dread "money shot," and loud obnoxious score common in porn. This DVD is devoid of special features, and obviously mastered from a VHS copy. It lacks focus and sharpness, and colors are washed out. With weak plot and poor transfer, it is D+ at best.

The Return of the Living Dead is one of the classics of its genre - a sleazy, lurid, sexy, gross-out, comedy/horror. I'm not as crazy about the movie as the genre cultists are, but Linnea is stark naked for more than a half hour, and she was in her physical prime, so it's pretty easy on the eyes.

• Linnea Quigley (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Reservoir Dogs. I recommend this DVD whole-heartedly. Not just because it was Tarantino's first film, but because it is loaded with truly silly extra features (an action figure of Mr Pink?) and some very good serious extras as well. It has a full length commentary track which  was done by about six people, and they only commented on the stuff they were especially in, so I found it quite illuminating. More important, the DVD includes several deleted scenes, and if they had left them in, it would have been a completely different movie, so you just have to see those scenes. No female nudity. No females at all, to speak of..

Updates

Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated

Hey, Scoop

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I can see why "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" is a top-ranked movie.  We saw it when it first came out.  We both loved it (unusual for a wedding-themed chick flick, but the humor and interesting characters made it enjoyable for men, too).  The theater was packed, and everyone laughed big throughout, applauded at the end, and walked out talking about how good it was.  We were really happy to see that
weeks later, it just keeps climbing, and last weekend, had moved up to #6 in Box Office. Pretty unheard of in a summer when most movies make a killing in the first two weeks, then drop sharply due to lousy word of mouth.  The last movie I remember that gradually moved up after weeks in release was "There's Something About Mary," another romantic comedy that managed to appeal to both men and women.   Of course, this movie is really going to make a killing when it hits DVD and video.   Every woman in America is going to buy a copy. 

In fact, she wants to see it again, and I wouldn't mind going along. Maybe it will wash the stench of "Signs" out of my mind.

Pat Reeder, the comedy wire
 

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Other crap

• "Miss Germany" has broken her contract and could lose her crown because she objects to beauty contest rules banning her from marrying or posing in the nude.
• George Bush comes up with a new plan to prevent forest fires. Get rid of those pesky forests. Can't dispute the logic. In a related story, he also proposed throwing out your babies when you dispose of your bathwater.
• The dead musician directory. When did they die? How did they die?
• I didn't realize that Leni Riefenstahl is still alive. She's the woman who made the famous film The Triumph of the Will, which glorified Nazism. She just celebrated her 100th birthday, amid controversial accusations that she used slave labor.
• Naked woman protests the circus

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Athena Massey, excellent breast exposure from "Poison Ivy: The New Seduction" (1997).

• Jaime Pressly, the queen of white trash cinema, also topless and baring her bum in scenes from "Poison Ivy: The New Seduction"

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

2 babes today...

First, a return visit to Stephanee LaFleur in "Animal Attraction". Then a brief visit to the 1995 epic "Showgirls" with former teen queen Elizabeth Berkley who spent most of the movie naked. I love when she tries to look tough with the knife.

• Stephanee LaFleur (1, 2, 3, 4)
• Elizabeth Berkley (1, 2, 3, 4)