Video clips: Charlize Theron, Part 2 of ?

Two very nice nudity efforts:

  • Head in the Clouds is an old-fashioned historical romance that looks like an updated version of a 1960 film.  Epic scope, good production values, soap opera storyline. Long, boring, quite familiar. It seems like you've already seen it when you haven't.  (Movie House Review).
    • Clip 1, Charlize in the bathtub with her beau. Topless, and a brief peek below the deck. A nice scene. (Zipped .wmv)
    • Clip 2, Charlize topless, engaging with said beau in some brief hanky-panky (Zipped .wmv)
  • The Devil's Advocate is one of the greatest "guilty pleasure" films ever. Plenty of sleazy fun and Al Pacino as Satan!  (Movie House Review). Two good nude scenes.
    • Clip 1, Charlize stark naked, full frontal, in good light! Brief, but suh-weet! (Zipped .wmv)
    • Clip 2, Keanu makes love to Charlize and she keeps undergoing a metamorphosis into Connie Nielsen. Long scene. Some of the nudity is Theron, some is Nielsen. (Zipped .wmv)


Shadowboxer (2006):

The New York Times summed it up like this:

“Shadowboxer,” a gaudy thriller saturated in sex and violence, is an extravagance that leaves you with your mouth hanging open — partly in admiration of its audacity and partly in disbelief at its preposterousness.

How do you think this sounds:

  • Half of the movie is like Pulp Fiction - cavalier, glib gangsters doing gangster shit with an utter disregard for human life or dignity.
  • The other half is like Magnolia - people with intense emotions who spend a lot of time thinking about the meaning and value of life, and reflecting upon how their lives have been affected by the events of the past and the nature of their families.

It sounds pretty damned weird, if you ask me.

It gets weirder. Helen Mirren and Cuba Gooding Jr. play partners in the assassination-for-hire business. To begin with, they seem like two of the least likely hitpersons on the planet, but it's going to get much weirder than that, so fasten your seat belts. First, they are mother and son. Second, they are also lovers. Third, mom is dying of cancer. So it's your basic intergenerational, interracial, incestuous, dying assassins movie.

I know what you're thinking. "Not another one of those!"

The couple goes out on a multiple hit, and everything goes as planned until they come to the final target, a gangster's wife who is nine months pregnant. The psychological complication of the situation is caused by Mirren's cancer. Mirren simply can't bring herself to make the kill. Being so close to her own death, she is reconsidering her former estimation of the value of life. She commits to saving the mother and baby in much the same spirit shown by Roy Batty when he saved Deckard in Blade Runner's classic "tears in the rain" scene.  In fact, the wife's water breaks just as the assassins enter her bedroom, and Mirren actually ends up midwifing the baby.  Gooding and Mirren then must take the new mother and her baby away for safekeeping, since it was the woman's husband who hired the hit. The assassins tell their gangster client that his wife is dead and buried. Of course, the wife can never again be seen in public since the rabid gangster would kill all of them if he knew the truth, so the four of them head far out to the countryside, where they assume aliases and become an odd family unit for many years, even after Mirren's death.

You can probably guess that they will not continue in blissful suburbia forever, but I can take it no further. you'll have to get the details of the denouement as you watch it.

Critics didn't know what to make of this film, which was just released to theaters a month ago. The people who like movies like Pulp Fiction found this one pretentiously draggy during the philosophical portions and the emotional family scenes. The critics who like movies like Magnolia were grossed out by all the explicit sex and violence. For example, Stephen Dorff, as the insane mob boss, kills one guy after ramming a broken, jagged pool cue up his ass. Dorff later shows off an erect penis after being interrupted in coitus. Cuba Gooding has several nude scenes, including a hot and tender sex scene with Helen Mirren which ends with him blowing her brains out with a revolver while she climaxes. (It's an act of mercy. She's dying painfully.) Moviegoers were as dumbfounded by the tone-shifts as the critics, and the film never found a theatrical audience.

I like this film. It is over-the-top and surreal and more than a bit mad, and the Stephen Dorff character is a completely unbelievable one-dimensional villain, but the film works for me, despite or because of those elements. As the Times pointed out, the extravagant action may impress you or make you laugh, but it won't bore you, and it's difficult to predict. Furthermore the film is powerful and skillful enough to generate the responses it hopes for. This is the first film for director Lee Daniels, but he shows complete command of the material, and has no problem shifting from family drama to outrageous black comedy to lurid sex and violence. His musical selections include such diverse elements as tangos, waltzes, hip-hop, and romantic faux-classical. His sets are opulent and gaudy. His production values are lush, and his shooting locations are chosen with an eye to the off-kilter. And the man's love for Philadelphia and its 'burbs is evident in every frame. The only real negative is that the dialogue isn't very original or punchy. Gooding almost never speaks, and the women are given rather mundane verbal work, so it's up to Dorff to provide the crackle, which he does in his own wild way.

Nice to see Cuba Gooding deliver such a strong, silent, subtle character. Few people will ever get to see the commitment he made to this part, but I saw it and salute him. He's been down on his luck, and I hope he starts to draw better hands as he pursues his comeback.

Critics panned the film and audiences avoided it, so my opinion seems like a piss into a hurricane. The proper grade is C-, and I fully understand if it is not your cup of tea, but I was impressed in many ways and will absolutely see this man's next film.

Maria Soccor
Vanessa Ferlito


Bonuses from previous editions, because I still have no Encyclopedia volume for the Jolie lookalike, Vanessa Ferlito:

Vanessa Ferlito in On-Line
Vanessa Ferlito in Undefeated




Niagara Motel (2005):

Haven't seen it. The basic idea is to show a slice-of-life of some habitues of a sleazy motel in Niagara Falls. I picked up the clips from Rapidshare and they were in the wrong aspect ratio, so I corrected them and output them as .wmv files. The important point is this: Anna Friel topless.

  1. Anna Friel topless (zipped .wmv, sample below)

  1. Anna Friel wandering around in panties and a t-shirt, no bra. (zipped .wmv, sample below)


William Shatner Roast: Jeffrey Ross
  • "The Roastmaster General, Jeffrey Ross, unapologetically slams Bill Shatner on all fronts during the William Shatner Roast."

William Shatner Roast: Farrah Fawcett
  • "A loopy Farrah Fawcett attempts to roast William Shatner, but goes into a giggle fit instead."

FINAL Weekend Box Office Results for August 18-20, 2006
  • It turns out that when the estaimates were corrected, Snakes on a Plane did sneak into the #1 spot - by a paltry $51,000 over Ricky Bobby

Bug - a new thriller directed by William Friedkin, who won a Best Director Oscar 34 years ago! (French Connection)
  • "A lonely waitress with a tragic past, Agnes rooms in a run-down motel, living in fear of her abusive, recently paroled ex-husband. But when Agnes begins a tentative romance with Peter, an eccentric, nervous drifter, she starts to feel hopeful again - until the first bugs arrive... Probing the blurry lines between paranoia and nightmarish reality, Liongate's 'Bug' is an intense, mind-bending psychological thriller in which nothing is quite as it seems. Adapted by Tracy Letts from his hit off-Broadway play, 'Bug' stars Golden Globe nominee Ashley Judd, Harry Connick, Jr., Lynn Collins, Brian O'Byrne and Michael Shannon."

The film's official page has five clips from Invincible
  • Disney has the inspirational sports movie formula down to a science.
  • "From the studio that brought you 'The Rookie' and 'Remember the Titans' comes 'Invincible,' inspired by the true story of Vince Papale (Mark Wahlberg), a man with nothing to lose who ignored the staggering odds and made his dream come true. When the coach (Greg Kinnear) of Papale's beloved hometown football team hosted an unprecedented open tryout, the public consensus was that it was a waste of time -- no one good enough to play professional football was going to be found this way. Certainly no one like Papale -- a down-on-his-luck, 30 year-old, substitute teacher and part-time bartender who never even played college football. But against these odds, Papale made the team and soon found himself living every fan's fantasy -- moving from his cheap seats in the upper deck to standing on the field as a professional football player."

The trailer for Adrift, a new thriller
  • A weekend cruise on a luxurious party yacht goes horribly wrong for a group of old high school friends. They forget to let the ladder down before they jump into the ocean for a swim. The boat proves impossible to climb. They are stuck in the water many miles from shore, with baby Sara left alone on board. Sara's mother Amy must contend with her aqua-phobia as well as the group's increasing desperation, as the friends begin to turn on each other. Soon the exhaustion of keeping afloat and the struggle to get back on board begin to take a terrible toll. The happy reunion turns into a fight for survival.

Paris Hilton' s evaluation of her own album: "I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good."

Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In Blooper Reel - Uncensored!

A script review of Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

Studio notes on the First Draft of Snakes on a Plane

"... upcoming pornographic biography of Holocaust diarist Anne Frank ..."




The trailer for '66
  • "It is the summer of '66, and England is about to be consumed by World Cup Fever. For 12 year-old Bernie though, the biggest day of his life is looming: his Bar Mitzvah, and the day he becomes a man. However, Bernie's family are increasingly distracted by the threat of losing their business and their wayward older son, and the scale of Bernie's Bar Mitzvah diminishes daily. Worst of all the Cup Final is scheduled to take place on the same day and when England makes it through the qualifying rounds, Bernie's longed-for Bar Mitzvah looks set to be a complete disaster..."

ESPN's Gene Wojciechowski argues: Woods is greatest individual athlete ever. Greater than Danny "Suits" Sparrow? I think not. Seriously, Woods really is a legitimate contender for this honor.

JonBenet Suspect 'Lacks Credibility,' Says O.J. ... Urges Search For Real Killers

Uncle Rico arrested in road range incident, not likely to face charges.

"Pitchfork Feature: The 200 Greatest Songs of the 1960s"
  • The people who made this list must love The Beach Boys, who rated #1, #7, #14, and #21. Off the top of my head, I could probably name 25 songs from Bob Dylan alone which are better than anything the Beach Boys ever did. And then there's The Beatles, The Stones, and all the great Motown groups.

Barnyard, as reviewed by The Filthy Critic
  • "Barnyard is a low point for digital animation, and an even lower one for anthropomorphosis. That's saying a lot because every unimaginative grassfucker is dying to make a shitty movie with talking goats, not for the sake of storytelling, but for the sake of lunchboxes, Happy Meals and pillowcases. This is one bad, bad, bad fucking movie."

MovieJuice! looks at Snakes on a Plane - "Cheese at 30,000 Feet"

Sulu roasts Shatner.

Shatner Roast: Ben Stiller
  • Ben Stiller is still upset about Shatner's response to his fan letter in 1975.

Shatner Roast: Kevin Pollak talks about meeting Shatner after imitating him for over twenty years.

Sandra Bullock roasts Bill Shatner

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman explain why they were not able to make it to the William Shatner Roast.

William Shatner Roast: Lisa Lampanelli
  • She had the funniest line of the night. "Betty White is so old that on her first game show the grand prize was fire."

William Shatner Roast: Shatner Roasts Back

The oldest known photograph, 1826



Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.



Merry Maids of the Gay Way (1953)

Merry Maids of the Gay Way (1953) is a burlesque show including a bunch of clothing removal experts and comedians. The comedy material was old and just plain silly, but the comedians looked and sounded funny. This was from the days when a comedy act could play the same tired routine for years by traveling from city to city, as the audience was never the same. The modern comedian does a routine on TV, and it is dead for him.

All of the women start fully dressed, and strip down mostly to pasties and a g-string under clear panties. Some are excellent dancers, some have great eye contact with the audience, and others are mediocre. One thing I noticed was that, unlike name stars of that era, who would mostly be considered overweight and out of condition by today's standard, these girls were slender. Evidently their stripping provided a good workout even before the poles and bump and grind.

IMDb readers, as yet, have no opinion. The 50s hairdos are a real anachronism. This was adult entertainment in a gentler era, when naughtiness was still enough to titillate. If I recall correctly, these films were shown in burlesque houses when there was no live show.

I enjoyed this glimpse at the past. Solid C on our scale..


Cherry Lee


Taffy Terrell
Gerri Darnell


Betty Shay
Rhea Walker



Diane DeLayne

Sherry Winters


Janine France







Dann reports on Twisted Sisters:

As we all know, direct-to-video often means bad, but not always, as in this pretty good 2006 thriller, a British/German effort.

Jennifer is a happy young woman with a good job, and a fiancé. Even better, she's just learned she's one month pregnant.

A series of gruesome murders have police searching for a young female killer. The woman cuts off the genitals of her victims, and in the latest killing, she shot off a bottle rocket up his behind (before cutting off his genitals). The death by fireworks scene is really interesting.

Several witnesses identify Jennifer as the killer, until it's discovered that unknown to her, she has a twin sister, who is bitter because she had none of Jennifer's advantages growing up, and who is in fact the killer. Now the race is on to find the twin before the twin finds Jennifer.

A nice twisty ending wraps up this gruesome but neat thriller, and the producers got double their money, because female lead Fiona Horsey plays both twins.

Fiona Horsey



Scoop's note: I haven't seen it, but Tuna also liked it.






Amelia Jackson-Gray in ... (wait for it) ... Snakes on a Train. Jeez, where do they get these ideas?

Anja Kling  (maybe) in an episode of Polizeiruf 110

Holly Madison in Scary Movie 4: Unrated.

Mariah Carey shows of her abundant curves in a small bikini