Joyride (1977) is a typical teensploitation effort. Three friends, boyfriend/girlfriend Melanie Griffeth and Desi Arnaz Jr, and best friend Robert Carradine, decide to head for Alaska and escape their mundane lives. Their dream is to end up owning their own salmon boat. Alaska isn't everything they hoped. Prices are outrageous, their car is broken into and their cash stolen, and they have to take menial jobs. They each get screwed over in some way, and finally decide to strike back, holding up the pipeline payroll office, and taking Anne Lockhart as a hostage.

Griffith, who was 20 at the time, has several topless sex scenes, including a hot tub and a shower scene, and shows her buns mooning a passing car. Lockhart (daughter of June Lockhart) shows breasts in a hot tub and sex scene. There is local color, lots of villains, chase scenes, and plenty of nudity, and I would probably have enjoyed the film more if I liked any of the characters. IMDb readers have it at 3.9 of 10. The only possible reason to watch it is the early nudity from Griffith, who, in my opinion, was much more attractive a few years later, and Lockhart. This is a D. While it has the required elements for the genre, it is a remarkably uninspired effort.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Anne Lockhart (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)
  • Melanie Griffith (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    With the possible exception of that chick in The Dreamers (who will be featured by Shiloh starting tomorrow), Ludivine Sagnier must be the hottest naked tootsie in films today. What a body! What a face!


    Here is a quick look at her career in some zipped .wmv clips.



    You can find very comprehensive still captures from Swimming Pool and Water Drops in the Encyclopedia. Here is the rest of her career, as captured by Le Gran Charles



    • If you were a rasslin' fan in the 80s, you probably noticed Missy Hyatt. Here she shows you everything you wished you could have seen back then.
    • and here's a link to an uncensored interview, with a summary of her career





    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.


    Ferris Buehler's pal

    • Mia Sara may not have had the career many expected for her, but she's been hanging in there. And she has been generous with the nudity. These are from Black Day, Blue Night ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip).

    • Mia Sara  - Black Day, Blue Night .(avi- zip) (.wmv - zip).

    • Mia Sara  - Black Day, Blue Night .(avi- zip) (.wmv - zip).


     ... and now for something completely different

    • Those of you who enjoyed the Harlow tribute the other day should also find this groovy. Clara Bow in Call Her Savage ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip).



    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    A couple of quick vids from "Warlords" (1989), the Fred Olen Ray movie starring David Carradine (during his really crappy movie days).

    Since this seems to be Michelle Bauer week for the Ghost, why stop now! Bauer is once again topless (only this time in an abduction scene, not a sex scene). Debra Lamb is also topless. You may recognize Lamb as the Fire Eating stripper from "Point Break", "Wild at Heart" and several other movies.

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    Bliss: episode Office Management
    A female executive who arranges an internet sex tryst finds out the guy she met is the company computer geek. Only in our dreams.

    Hunger: episode Seductress
    From the Smoke, Mirrors and Paranoia DVD collection.

    Paradise Falls season 2
    Here is a preview for season 2 starting on Showcase next month. Look out for newcomer Danielle Hampton who's early track record includes a graphic sex scene in the little seen indie festival movie "If Wishes Were Horses".

    Forever Knight season 3

    Wild Card: episode Mimi's Assets
    Joely Fisher goes undercover at a strip joint. I missed the first half but Joely was still providing plenty of cleavage in and out the strip joint.

    Poltergeist, The Legacy: episode The Twelfth Cave
    Unfortunately for this series the syndicated episodes have most of the nudity removed.

    Immortal: episode Prime Time
    Lorenzo Lamas's demon-hunting partner nearly gets sacrificed when they find out he's a 400 year old virgin. Where is April Telek when she's needed most?

    Night Man: episode Fear City
    From Glen Larson who bought us "Manimal". The tv series about a jazz saxophonist by day and a phase shifting superehero at night.

    Liberty Street: episode Even Bradys Get the Blues

    11th Hour: episode Strange Bedfellows
    One reason to watch this series each week is to see who's turn it is to wear a tight sweater. Last week's was Waneta Storms.

    "Exit Wounds" (DVD)
    Shannon Jobe is the brunette stripper on your left, stuntlady Kym Kristalie is the blonde stripper on the right.

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "The Big Bounce"
    Sara Foster doesn't save this 2004 comedy, she just makes it a little more bearable, as does Anahit Minasyan (tenant in # 9).

    Owen Wilson does his usual crappy job as a surfer/con man who goes to Hawaii and gets a job as a caretaker for a judge on the island. This gets him involved trying to rip off a real estate tycoon, while falling for the tycoon's beautiful "kept woman" (Foster).

    Some funny bits don't make this dog hunt. It's pure garbage, but Foster and Minasyan are worth a long look.

    Claire Forlani
    (1, 2, 3)

    One word..."WOW"! Scoop Sr. and I have always been fond of her, and if these excellent topless paparazzi pics don't convince you of her babitude, you might want to consider professional help.

    Alexandra Neldel The cute, blonde German actress topless in scenes from "Verliebte Jungs" aka "Rent a Baby" (2001).

    Kimberly Williams
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    Kate Gartside
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Both look great topless in scenes from the 1999 movie "Elephant Juice". Williams of course is best known as "the Bride" from the "Father of the Bride" movies starring Steve Martin. 'Caps by the Skin-man.