A very few comedies have a prolonged humorous scene that starts funny, builds to totally hilarious, and has a great punch line. For example, in Porkies, the scene that starts with "the greatest beaver shoot in the history of Angel Beach High School" and finishes in the principal's office is such a scene. Or the row boat scene in Karate Kid between Miyagi and Danielsan, where Miyagi rocks him off the boat, tells him "Learn to punch when learn stay dry" and then "Ho ho Danielsan, you all wet behind ears." Yet another example is between Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte in 48 Hours where Murphy takes on a shit-kicker bar.

Say It Isn't So opens with such a scene -- one that will go in my top 10 comedy scenes of all time. It features prosthetic breast exposure from Courtney Peldon. Note that 3 of the five characters in the scene are not seen again in the film. In the feature length commentary, the director, James B. Rogers, claims it as the funniest family dinner scene of all time, and I tend to agree. The rest of this comedy, like Porkies, has funny moments, but lots of silliness as well, and never equals that first scene again. It is beautifully filmed, as you can see from this example, and the art direction, even for small moments, was fantastic.

Chris Klein plays an animal control officer who falls in love with Heather Graham. Shortly after they become engaged, he discovers that she is his sister (he was adopted). Their small Indiana town is not kind to a "sister porker." As I am recommending this one, that is enough of the plot. Look for a cameo from Suzanne Somers, and a great supporting role from Sally Field as Graham's gold-digging mother. IMDB readers say 4.3/10, which is low in my opinion. US gross was about $5.5m, with $3m coming on opening weekend. Ebert says one star, complaining that you can't have a film that embarrasses the comic lead for the entire film. I will have to give that some thought, but it does not apply here. Klien and Graham are the straight men here to a cast full of zanies. Berardinelli gets up a real head of steam against it in awarding his one star. Apollo says 72, with readers saying 77. These scores are more in line with my feelings. I was influenced by the great start, but mostly enjoyed the film, even with gross-out humor. C+.

I noticed that picture of the Fuk Mi restaurant that Jr. ran in yesterday's page (run by Long Duk Dong?), and it reminded me of a really cool place that I saw when I was on vacation in Naples, Florida. Naples is my former home, one of the places where Junior grew up, and a place that I return to quite often, to play golf and go to the beach. As I was driving back from a burger joint on Bonita Beach Road, I really regretted that I didn't have my camera along, because I drove past that legendary fishing retail establishment, Master Bait and Tackle. I swear I didn't make it up. It's the real thing. You can surely find it in the phone book.

What I did make up is their marketing campaign. Imagine these radio spots.

"Jeez, Jim, how do ya catch so darn many fish?"

"My tip to you, Bill, is something that you'll thank me for all your life. Master Bait. It sure works for me."

"Thanks, Jim, I'll try it!"

"And if you want to pull in a really big snook one day, it doesn't hurt to keep the lures extra fresh, so my recommendation is: Master Bait twice that day. Once in the morning. Once at night."

ANNOUNCER'S DEEP VOICE: "Master Bait. Where the worms never stop wiggling."

We join our debate already in progress, quoted from a 1993 TV show

Ebert: Full Eclipse is a renegade cop movie, and Certs is a breath mint.. 

Siskel: No, it's a werewolf movie, and Certs is a candy mint

Calm-voiced announcer: Hold on, there, lads. Don't fight. You're both right. Full Eclipse is a movie where the renegade cops are werewolves, so they enjoy Certs as a snack, as well as to fight off that pesky "doggie breath"

• unknown corpse, full-frontal nudity

• Patsy Kensit. I capped both of her sex scenes, and there is enough bare chest to reveal breasts, but I can't see a frigging thing. Here's the scenes. Good luck. (1, 2)

Forrest Gump (1995) seems to have taken forever to get to DVD, but it's here now. I think you know what it is. Plenty of special features on the DVD, mainly explanations of the technical wizardry, and two small deleted scenes with more "Zelig" action.

• Robin Wright (she's actually wearing a flesh colored thong in that strip club scene, but these are still sexy) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Layover (2001) should be a rare treat for you. I am writing this on August 21st, and it is scheduled for a theatrical opening later this week, so you're getting an advance preview.  Of course, the only place it opens is in Germany, because it stars that noted genius of the European TV/cinema/music world, David Hasselhoff.

I can't believe I'm writing this, but I actually enjoyed this noir murder/doublecross film shot in the manner of Brian DePalma, and the sex scene was pretty damned sexy.. Oh, Lord, I liked a David Hasselhoff movie. I'm glad it didn't happen when my mom was alive, so she was spared the shame.

• Yvonne Scio (1, 2, 3, 4)

Caps and Comments by Spaz:

"Paradise Falls": episodes 17 & 18:

Another number I'd love to see would be how often WGN and Turner have shown any Charles Bronson movie. I'm sure the "Death Wish" series would win, but "Mr. Majestyk", "Hard Times", "Telefon" and "Assassination" have all seen more than their fair share of 10:35 pm showtimes.

Here's the breakdown:

I know bad movies, and trust me, this is one of the worst scripts EVER! When straight-to-vid/cable crap uses the "we have no story, let's show a lot of girls" technique...at least they have the girls get nekkid! Seriously, this movie is so lame it dreams of the day that it can have high quality writing like that found in soft core skin flix on cable at 4 am!

Let's put it this way, I'm watching TV and come across "Coyote Ugly". For some reason, the remote stops working and my hand has somehow become glued to the sofa. My only options are to sit through the movie, or chew my own arm off so I can get up to change the channel. I'd say pass the salt and hand me a napkin.

It has been a while since my last submission, I just hope it doesn't shows too well :)

I recently saw "Casino Royale", and discovered a few things about this movie, besides the nipple slip from Ursula Andress (seen here), "Casino Royale" is more Austin Powers than Austin Powers!

Just two quick points:

1) I recently saw some vidcaps in the FH of Rene Bond from "Please Don't Eat My Mother" {always good advice}. Anyway, Fun Housemates might wish to know that Rene died "of liver problems" in late 1999. The last sighting of her in person was at the January 1998 Consumer Electronics Show convention in Las Vegas, where an eyewitness reports that she "was still an attractive woman." And that she "was married with children." Perhaps he actually saw Katey Segal?

2) About a month ago, one of your regular contributors posted some pix of Sunny {Tammy Lynn Sytch} and Missy Hyatt from their collaborative website, www.wrestlingvixxxens.com. Valet Rayne is also featured on that site. Anyway, I can't believe that it's gonna last too long--once you've seen corpulent Missy, you'll know that she now resembles A HYATT!!-- so perhaps that contributor {or others} could be encouraged to capture and post in the Fun House as many of the NUDES {topless photos} that they have in their Members Area as possible. Clearly, that contributor had access to the Members Area {since no topless images are in the "Guest" Section}, so it might be prudent to capture and save as many as possible before they pull the plug {not wishing the gals any bad luck, but once you've seen 'em, you've seen 'em!}. Personally, I'd like to see as many of 'em as possible...Thanks.

Lastly, I enjoyed the comparison of my "Best Butts" issue rankings with those of yours. I will, however, remind you that there's quite a difference between posting opinions and having to produce a hundred-page national magazine with 750+ pix in it :-) One of my main considerations HAS to be: How good are the bare butt photos I have on someone...and what impact/impression has their rear made on society {or a sofa}. That's why J.Lo-slung HAD to be #1...and why some of the women who gifted us with awesome posterior poses were also included. I mean, if Kira Reed and Alisha Klass {who called me during the height of her Bruce Willis affair} INSIST on sending me dozens of never-before-seen naked butt shots, who am I to refuse them?

Hope that helps to explain why "great minds" don't ALWAYS think alike.

Best,
Sleuth