Witchboard (1985) is a low budget horror effort by first time directors and producers that revolves around a Ouija Board. It was very successful earning $7.37M against a $2M budget. Tawney Kitaen and her live in boyfriend Todd Allen are throwing a party, and she has invited an ex boyfriend, Stephan Nichols. Nichols still has a thing for her, and is no longer speaking to Allen, even though they were like brothers growing up. Allen is unable to show emotion due to his childhood.

Nichols is rather pompous, has a lot of money, and is a University Professor, while Allen does construction. Nichols brings his Ouija Board to the party, and he and Kitaen contact someone. Allen's wisecracks piss off the ghost, and bad things start happening. Kitaen becomes addicted to the board, and ends up in huge trouble when an evil spirit possesses her.

The nudity is totally gratuitous, when the ghost locks her in a shower stall, and turns on the hot water. It is shot from the top while she is struggling to get out, and then we see her break out a door and get out of the shower, showing full frontal with no obscuring steam. IMDb readers have this at 4.9 of 10. It was popular enough at the time it was released to spawn a sequel. I think the reason for the poor modern scores is that it simply takes much more to shock us now. I didn't really care about any of the characters, and found the plot rather predictable, so found it a slow watch. There really was nothing technically wrong with the film, and the acting was fine. The special makeup effects were very primitive by even contemporary standards. 30 years ago, this was a C+. Today, it is closer to C-. Horror that isn't terrifying is not great horror.

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  • Tawny Kitaen (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    • Charlie is back from his summer holiday, and Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site (aka Chuque's Chiques) has been updated.




    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.



    • Shiloh is right on top of the hot new stuff, as usual. Here is Jennifer O'Dell's guest appearance on the much discussed Nip/Tuck ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip).

    • And here she is in The Lost World .(avi- zip) (.wmv - zip).



    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    If you like busty, topless B-movie babes, then the Ghost has a treat for you today! From co-directors Fred Olen Ray and Jim Wynorski...Here are the stars of "Dinosaur Island" (1994).

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    This thoughtful 2004 comedy won't please everyone, but I thought it was funny and at the same time had quite a message....well, actually two. Be careful what you wish for, and be happy with what you have.

    After living together for fives years, and rapidly approaching their announced wedding date, Alice informs Ed that they both should have sex with other people until the wedding. She wants to put spice back into a relationship that had grown predictable. Besides, she hadn't really had much sexual experience before they got together, and wanted to know what she was missing, before marriage.

    Sensing impending disaster, Ed is against it, but Alice insists. As you might imagine, all sorts of problems ensue as they both wind up in a sexual merry-go-round. When Alice realizes her mistake, it may be too late.

    The script is excellent, the acting first-rate, and while not everyone will like this low-impact comedy, I enjoyed it a lot.

    Angelina Jolie
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Fantastic collages by DeadLamb of Jolie topless in a sex scene from "Taking Lives" starring Ethan Hawke and Kiefer Sutherland.

    Jennifer Garner Garner looking amazing in red and black undies in scenes from her hit show "Alias".

    Beau Garrett The blonde newcommer showing off her bum (complete with tan lines) in scenes from an episode of the HBO series "Entourage".

    Marine Delterme
    (1, 2)

    Topless in two scenes from the Euro-movie "Te quiero" (2001).

    Jana Pallaske
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the German actress showing off some excellent toplessness as well as baring the other 2 B's in scenes from "Engel & Joe" (2001). You can catch her on cable this month in the mega-lame "Extreme Ops". Of course she was also in one of our favorite movies of the year "Eurotrip" (phe played the sexy Camera Store Girl in Amsterdam).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    I'd Prefer Eddie Murphy - Joe Piscopo, who used to play the annoying "Jersey Guy" who'd ask "You from Jersey?" on "Saturday Night Live," may run for governor of New Jersey as an independent. Piscopo says he's a lifelong Democrat, but Jim McGreevey embarrassed the party and "career politicians are killing us." He said some "prominent business guys" want to finance his run, "but they've assured me I wouldn't be beholden to them."

  • And if you can't trust Tony Soprano...
  • The business guys only offered him the governorship after Rob Schneider and Howie Mandel turned it down.
  • Joe Piscopo can't be governor! What would happen to his career in show business?!

    Willie Wonka & The Weirdness Factory - Thursday, Michael Jackson's defense attorneys showed video in court of the raid on Neverland and gave the public a glimpse of his weird, opulent lifestyle. The video showed his house adorned with a huge gumball machine, giant alphabet blocks, a room-sized train set, rocking horses and a "toy room" where his kids play with a giant Superman and life-size "Star Wars" figures.

  • While they try to figure out an escape route.
  • The Luke Skywalker isn't a toy: that actually IS Mark Hamill.
  • Michael's kids are already old enough that they're starting to outgrow it.

    Gwyneth Paltrow Would've Been Better - Wednesday in Hollywood, porn producer Mark Kulkis, who makes videos featuring all-natural women, staged a rally against the U.S. military's offer of free breast implants to soldiers. Porn star and ex-gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey displayed her huge breasts, which she claims are natural, in a tiny bikini top, and declared, "Women should be happy with their bodies and what they're blessed with." She urged the army to spend money on "bullets, not boobs." Kulkis offered to give any soldier who's honorably discharged with her real breasts $500 worth of lingerie and a spa day.

  • And a porn movie contract.
  • She can spend the $500 on padded bras.
  • I thought Hollywood's motto was "Boobs, not bullets."
  • Mary Carey doesn't need to buy bullets; she already has torpedoes.

    Bigger And Harder - The London Daily Star reports that Madonna is using a medieval-style wooden rack to tone her body. She pays $110 an hour for private sessions on the "Gyrotonic Expansion System," nicknamed "The Rack," a device to stretch and strengthen dancers' muscles that was invented by Romanian ballet dancer Juli Horvath. The paper says it's not only made Madonna's body more muscular, it's also made her breasts bigger.

  • That must be it: ballet dancers are famous for their enormous breasts.
  • That's another reason why the device is called "The Rack."
  • Madonna's spending an hour a day on a torture rack? That should please music critics.

    They Love The Green - The New York Times reports that record companies are realizing the money to be made off ring tones for cell phones, and Warners is airing ads on MTV for a set recorded by Green Day. A Warner spokesman said if it's done with taste, it connects the fan and the artist without crossing the line of commerce over art. Green Day's ring tones cost $2.49 and include the members belching and cursing, and bassist Mike Dirnt snapping, "Pick up the phone! It's your mother! I know, she's with me!"

  • Thank God they didn't release the tasteless version.
  • They would've used Green Day songs, but those are too annoying.
  • See? There IS something more obnoxious than the sound of a phone bell during a movie!
  • How much would it cost me NOT to have to hear this?