Witchboard (1985) is a low budget horror effort by first time directors and producers that revolves around a Ouija Board. It was very successful earning $7.37M against a $2M budget. Tawney Kitaen and her live in boyfriend Todd Allen are throwing a party, and she has invited an ex boyfriend, Stephan Nichols. Nichols still has a thing for her, and is no longer speaking to Allen, even though they were like brothers growing up. Allen is unable to show emotion due to his childhood.
Nichols is rather pompous, has a lot of money, and is a University Professor, while Allen does construction. Nichols brings his Ouija Board to the party, and he and Kitaen contact someone. Allen's wisecracks piss off the ghost, and bad things start happening. Kitaen becomes addicted to the board, and ends up in huge trouble when an evil spirit possesses her.
The nudity is totally gratuitous, when the ghost locks her in a shower stall, and turns on the hot water. It is shot from the top while she is struggling to get out, and then we see her break out a door and get out of the shower, showing full frontal with no obscuring steam. IMDb readers have this at 4.9 of 10. It was popular enough at the time it was released to spawn a sequel. I think the reason for the poor modern scores is that it simply takes much more to shock us now. I didn't really care about any of the characters, and found the plot rather predictable, so found it a slow watch. There really was nothing technically wrong with the film, and the acting was fine. The special makeup effects were very primitive by even contemporary standards. 30 years ago, this was a C+. Today, it is closer to C-. Horror that isn't terrifying is not great horror.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Fifty Percent Grey, a short, award-winning film. I
think the specific award was "creepiest movie".
The trailer and official page for SAW. Here's a movie must-see
for you guys who like something really different.
A model demonstrates that you really CAN use those tiny bikinis as
Regis Philbin sets the record for most hours on camera,
just edging out The Dell Dude and Elmore "Speedy" Alka-Seltzer.
Actually, the record was held by Hugh Downs.
IFILM - naughty film clip from Models Of Mystique- Volume Five
Paris may not get Screwed.
Sen. Edward Kennedy said Thursday that he was stopped and
questioned at airports on the East Coast five times last March
because his name appeared on the government's secret no-fly list.
- If he knows he's on the list, it's not a very good secret,
- I'm pretty sure that was just something about the weight
Jersey wiseguy Joe Piscopo may seek state's No. 1 job.
He does have the most important qualification for the job - a
great impersonation of Frank Sinatra.
THE GUIDE TO EVERYTHING
Two new international trailers for Wimbledon. Peter
Colt (Bettany) is an unlucky guy, scoring "love" both
professionally and personally. Seeded near the bottom of the world
tennis ranks, he manages to score a wild card, allowing him to
play in the prestigious Wimbledon tournament. There, he meets and
falls in love with American tennis star Lizzie Bradbury (Dunst).
Fueled by a mixture of his newfound luck, love and on-court
prowess, Peter works his way up the ranks of the tournament
players and actually stands a chance of fulfilling his lifelong
dream of winning the men's singles title--if his luck can just
Here's a clip from First Daughter, a Katie Holmes vehicle about
... first daughterhood, I presume.
Five clips from the horror movie which had critics racking their
brains for ways to say "frighteningly bad" - Exorcist: The
- This week's reviews.
Open Water - 72% positive reviews. I liked it as well.
- This week's movies.
Exorcist: The Beginning - 6% positive reviews - currently running
8% worse than the Matthew Lillard movie
- This week's movies:
Without A Paddle - 14% good reviews, which is probably
11 or 12% higher than Matthew Lillard's previous personal best.
- This week's movies:
Benji Off the Leash - 20% positive reviews.
Pete Rose headed for a very special Hall of Fame, with a large
cafeteria. Pete owes the IRS a million simoleans, and
is deep in debt. I guess he didn't win a lot of those bets.
- The3 first rule of politics - deny everything! When busted for
distributing Swift Boat flyers at Bush-Cheney HQ, campaign
spokesman Steve Schmidt came up with the best lie ever.
"The Bush-Cheney campaign has nothing to do with that piece of
paper. ... I don't know how it showed up at the campaign
headquarters". Schmidt was known in high school for
having claimed "my dog ate my homework" 37 consecutive days, a
record which still stands. My personal favorite record for blatant
lying was held by a woman that worked for me in the early 70s, who
missed 14 days of work one year to attend her grandmother's
funeral. Not 14 consecutive days, but 14 separate one-day absences
spread out over a year. I concluded that her grandma was one of
those New Orleans jazz musicians, and they were really puttin' on
the dog for her funeral.
BUSH OUTSOURCES ELECTION TO INDIA. Approval Rating in
Bangalore Tops 98%
Zhang Ziyi to Star in Geisha Movie because Americans
don't realize she's not Japanese.
Weekly World News: "A California man is spending the rest of his
life in prison -- because he got caught trying to sneak popcorn
into a movie theater."
Beach volleyball's bikini cheerleaders stir up a storm
The Daily Show looks at the President's troop realignments - "a
new plan will help us fight the wars of the 21st century". That's
The Daily Show looks at New York's plan to control protest at the
RNC - 20% off Jalapeno Poppers for PEACEFUL protestors only!
- POKER in the Sawdust Joint:
The day Eric the Red beat country singer Roy Clark out of $3,000.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Shiloh is right on top
of the hot new stuff, as usual. Here is Jennifer O'Dell's guest
appearance on the much discussed Nip/Tuck ( .avi- zip)
(.wmv - zip).
And here she is in The
Lost World .(avi- zip)
(.wmv - zip).
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
If you like busty, topless B-movie babes, then the Ghost has a treat for you today! From co-directors Fred Olen Ray and Jim Wynorski...Here are the stars of "Dinosaur Island" (1994).
- Antonia Dorian, topless
- Antonia Dorian zipped .wmvs
- Griffin Drew, more toplessness.
- Griffin Drew zipped .wmvs
- Michelle Bauer, yup, also topless.
- Michelle Bauer zipped .wmv
- Antonia Dorian and Michelle Bauer
- All 3 in a group nude scene
- Group nude scene zipped .wmvs
'Caps and comments by Dann:
This thoughtful 2004 comedy won't please everyone, but I thought it was funny and at the same time had quite a message....well, actually two. Be careful what you wish for, and be happy with what you have.
After living together for fives years, and rapidly approaching their announced wedding date, Alice informs Ed that they both should have sex with other people until the wedding. She wants to put spice back into a relationship that had grown predictable. Besides, she hadn't really had much sexual experience before they got together, and wanted to know what she was missing, before marriage.
Sensing impending disaster, Ed is against it, but Alice insists. As you might imagine, all sorts of problems ensue as they both wind up in a sexual merry-go-round. When Alice realizes her mistake, it may be too late.
The script is excellent, the acting first-rate, and while not everyone will like this low-impact comedy, I enjoyed it a lot.
|Fantastic collages by DeadLamb of Jolie topless in a sex scene from "Taking Lives" starring Ethan Hawke and Kiefer Sutherland.
||Garner looking amazing in red and black undies in scenes from her hit show "Alias".
||The blonde newcommer showing off her bum (complete with tan lines) in scenes from an episode of the HBO series "Entourage".
|Topless in two scenes from the Euro-movie "Te quiero" (2001).
|Señor Skin 'caps of the German actress showing off some excellent toplessness as well as baring the other 2 B's in scenes from "Engel & Joe" (2001). You can catch her on cable this month in the mega-lame "Extreme Ops". Of course she was also in one of our favorite movies of the year "Eurotrip" (phe played the sexy Camera Store Girl in Amsterdam).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
PISCOPO FOR GOVERNOR?
I'd Prefer Eddie Murphy - Joe Piscopo, who used to play the annoying
"Jersey Guy" who'd ask "You from Jersey?" on "Saturday Night Live," may run
for governor of New Jersey as an independent. Piscopo says he's a lifelong
Democrat, but Jim McGreevey embarrassed the party and "career politicians
are killing us." He said some "prominent business guys" want to finance
his run, "but they've assured me I wouldn't be beholden to them."
And if you can't trust Tony Soprano...
The business guys only offered him the governorship after Rob Schneider
and Howie Mandel turned it down.
Joe Piscopo can't be governor! What would happen to his career in show
VIDEO GIVES PEEK INTO MICHAEL JACKSON'S HOUSE
Willie Wonka & The Weirdness Factory - Thursday, Michael Jackson's defense
attorneys showed video in court of the raid on Neverland and gave the
public a glimpse of his weird, opulent lifestyle. The video showed his
house adorned with a huge gumball machine, giant alphabet blocks, a
room-sized train set, rocking horses and a "toy room" where his kids play
with a giant Superman and life-size "Star Wars" figures.
While they try to figure out an escape route.
The Luke Skywalker isn't a toy: that actually IS Mark Hamill.
Michael's kids are already old enough that they're starting to outgrow
PORN STAR PROTESTS ARMY IMPLANTS
Gwyneth Paltrow Would've Been Better - Wednesday in Hollywood, porn
producer Mark Kulkis, who makes videos featuring all-natural women, staged
a rally against the U.S. military's offer of free breast implants to
soldiers. Porn star and ex-gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey displayed
her huge breasts, which she claims are natural, in a tiny bikini top, and
declared, "Women should be happy with their bodies and what they're blessed
with." She urged the army to spend money on "bullets, not boobs." Kulkis
offered to give any soldier who's honorably discharged with her real
breasts $500 worth of lingerie and a spa day.
And a porn movie contract.
She can spend the $500 on padded bras.
I thought Hollywood's motto was "Boobs, not bullets."
Mary Carey doesn't need to buy bullets; she already has torpedoes.
MADONNA ON THE RACK
Bigger And Harder - The London Daily Star reports that Madonna is using a
medieval-style wooden rack to tone her body. She pays $110 an hour for
private sessions on the "Gyrotonic Expansion System," nicknamed "The Rack,"
a device to stretch and strengthen dancers' muscles that was invented by
Romanian ballet dancer Juli Horvath. The paper says it's not only made
Madonna's body more muscular, it's also made her breasts bigger.
That must be it: ballet dancers are famous for their enormous breasts.
That's another reason why the device is called "The Rack."
Madonna's spending an hour a day on a torture rack? That should please
PUNK BAND SELLING RING TONES
They Love The Green - The New York Times reports that record companies are
realizing the money to be made off ring tones for cell phones, and Warners
is airing ads on MTV for a set recorded by Green Day. A Warner spokesman
said if it's done with taste, it connects the fan and the artist without
crossing the line of commerce over art. Green Day's ring tones cost $2.49
and include the members belching and cursing, and bassist Mike Dirnt
snapping, "Pick up the phone! It's your mother! I know, she's with me!"
Thank God they didn't release the tasteless version.
They would've used Green Day songs, but those are too annoying.
See? There IS something more obnoxious than the sound of a phone bell
during a movie!
How much would it cost me NOT to have to hear this?