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"Four Dimensions of Greta"

Four Dimensions of Greta (1972) is a classic British sex farce that has "the worst German accent ever committed to film, enough public hair to stuff two sofas, and some of the worst acting and limb contortions ever seen" according to the package notes. I can vouch for the bad German accent, and the bad acting. As for public hair, the images speak for themselves. Journalist Hans Wiemer (Tristan Rogers) is sent to England by his publisher to write an expose' on Au Pairs, and to look for the wayward daughter of a friend named Greta (Leena Skoog). Even though he is engaged to his publisher's daughter, upon arrival, he rings up Sue (Karen Boyer), his old girlfriend. Together, they attempt to track Greta through the 1960's London sex scene.

The search takes them to he two lesbian former roommates, a strip club where she worked, a massage parlor, and a sleazy gambling den. Along the way, they have sex, and see lots of naked women. As they interview each contact, the recollections of Greta are in 3-D. I was able to ore or less remove the green and red for viewable B&W images of Skoog, and also of stripper Minah Byrd.

Byrd shows breasts only in her strippers costume. Several strippers show all three Bs. Felicity Devonshire as one of the lesbian flatmates shows all three Bs, as does her busty, blonde and unidentified room mate. Boyer and Skoog also show all three Bs. There are no reviews available on line, and not enough votes for a score. The film was [probably pretty daring in 1972, but is now merely quaint. If you narrowly define the genre as British sex farces, this is a decent one. C-.

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  • Felicity Devonshire (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Karen Boyes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
  • Lena Skoog (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31)
  • Minah Byrd (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Strippers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    "Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland"

    Sleepaway Camp 3: Teenage Wasteland (1988) is, thankfully, the last of the Sleepaway Camp films, even though they left room at the end for another sequel. The camp has been reopened by a lazy couple, who has invited an equal number of rich and underprivileged teenagers to what is billed as an encounter to teach trust and understanding. Angela kills one of the would be campers, Maria (Rashina Kessler), on her way to the bus by running over her with a sanitation truck, then takes her place. Her next victim is a reporter that asks her for dope. As in the previous films, she hacks and slashes her way through everyone. This time, however, they don't show nearly as much motivation for the murders. There is some attempt at humor, and one scene got a chuckle out of me. After killing Stacie Lambert as she is dragging her back into a tent, she says, "You're lucky your dead. In a few years, your breasts are going to sag sooo bad ..."

    Lambert shows breasts in three different scenes, Kessler shows breasts in the opening sequence, Jill Terashita shows breasts putting on a camp shirt, and Kim Wall is seen in a bra and panties in the same scene. IMDB readers have this at 4.3 of 10. For a more positive review, visit Phantasmigoria who seems to think a fourth one is in the making. To me, the franchise has worn out its welcome, and even had to recycle some footage from number two to fill out the running time. D+.

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  • Jill Terashita (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Katrina Kessler (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Kim Wall (1, 2, 3)
  • Stacie Lambert (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    I think you all know what Pulp Fiction is, now on special edition DVD. Unfortunately, the only real nudity comes from Bruce Willis, which ain't really our cup o' tea. His dick seems like the Alfred Hitchcock of genitalia, making a cameo in all his movies, often disguised as a crowd member or a passing sock puppet.

    • Maria de Medeiros (non-nude) (1, 2)

    Needful Things is not one of the better films made from Stephen King stories. It wouldn't even be one of the better films made from the scripts written by all those monkeys on that infinite number of typewriters. But it is the Citizen Kane of films with softcore Max von Sydow sex scenes. Oh, Max, you hunka hunka burnin' love. I guess Max's reward for a lifetime of great films was to act in this, as Satan no less, just so he could get to play with Bonnie Bedelia's breasts. Hey, I'da done the same thing if I were he. More power to the old boy. You go for it, geezer.

    • Bonnie Bedelia. There are non-nudes, but the first three are really sexy, I think. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Other crap

    * With Kim Dawson in "Passion Cove: Where Have You Been All My Life?"

    * With Amber Newman in "The Virgins of Sherwood Forest."

    * With Alicia Moorland in "Passion Cove: Where Have You Been All My Life?"

    * Threesome: With Ginger Monroe and another gal in "Passion Cove 2."

    * With Shannon Leigh in "The Virgins of Sherwood Forest."

    * Starring in "Passion's Obsession."

    * Starring in "Sinful Obsession."

    * Starring in "The Pleasure Zone."






    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Ingrid Pitt the Polish actress topless in the 1970 Hammer Film, "Countess Dracula".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today we take a return visit to "Madame Hollywood" and look in on Mia and Shauna O'Brien of course a little skin from both.

    Yesterday we left Sarah Jessica Parker all tied up and at the mercy of Robert Pastorelli, who played a very convincing bad cop villain in this not bad at all movie. Not on the level of "Die Hard" but a good evening's entertainment. Oh yes and in the end both Sarah and Bruce Willis escape, but you would have guessed that.

    • Sarah Jessica Parker (1, 2, 3)

    The Night
    Heather Graham
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Toplessness, full frontal nudity and some partial rear nudity in scenes from "Boogie Nights"

    Belinda Meuldijk
    (1, 2)

    The Dutch actress topless in scenes from the Paul Verhoeven movie "Soldaat van Oranje" aka "Soldier of Orange" (1977).

    Karina Currie
    (1, 2, 3)

    The UK model and porn actress showing some explicit frontal nudity on UK television. Vidcaps by Watty from the program "Sex and Shopping".

    Thumbnail Previews
    (1, 2)
    Victoria Silvstedt
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    The gorgeous, tall, blonde, Swedish babe showing toplessness, frontal, and rear nudity. Silvstedt fans really should check out her site website www.sexyvictoria.com.

    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Showing all 3 B's in scenes from the French movie "Le Miroir du désir" (1996).

    Britney Spears Kinda sweaty from one of her videos. 'Caps by Wolfey.

    Assorted Babes Traci-Ann Dutton and Karen & Barbara Cecka topless from the late 80's flick, "Johnny Be Good" starring Anthony Michael Hall, Robert Downey Jr., and Uma Thurman. This movie may not be the best these actors have ever made, but there are some really funny bits, especially when poking fun of the leisure suit wearing coach. Thanks to Nicnac for the 'caps.

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Sexual Fantasy: It's A Good Thing - Matt Drudge reports that a Martha Stewart intimate told him Martha believes that the Justice Department is investigating her for insider trading because she's a big Democratic donor and Republicans are targeting her. She claims their demands for her schedule, e-mails and contacts show they want to expose her sex life, and when Americans realize this, they'll rally to her the way many did to Clinton during the Lewinsky scandal. This doesn't explain why the same agents are arresting CEOs that Democrats claim are big Republican donors.

  • Nor does it explain why ANYONE would want to know about Martha Stewart's sex life.
  • Nobody wants to know what goes on between Martha Stewart's 400-thread-count sheets.
  • The only thing the SEC cares about is how many investors she screwed.
  • If she's right, maybe we'll learn some exciting things you can do at home with an ordinary cucumber.

    The Sobering Truth - Scientists at Scotland's Glasgow University proved that "beer goggles" are real. Students of both sexes were asked to look at photos of members of the opposite sex and rate their attractiveness. Test subjects who had consumed a moderate amount of alcohol found the faces in the photos to be 25 percent more attractive than sober subjects did.

  • That rose to 100 percent as the lab got closer to closing time.
  • After enough beer, they were ready to go to bed with Andy Rooney...and that was the men.
  • The very fact that not all the science students are virgins should've proved to them that beer goggles are real.

    Tastes Like Gatorade - Friday, tens of thousands of Elvis fans held a candlelight vigil in Memphis on the 25th anniversary of his death, but Elvis wasn't there; he was in Deurne, Holland. Toon Nieuwenhuisen, a spirit medium and Elvis impersonator, says Elvis's ghost visited him and was so grateful for his adoring fans, a plaster bust in his Elvis shrine room began shedding tears. Hundreds have come to see the crying Elvis bust. Toon said, "It's a miracle," noting that the tears even taste salty.

  • That's from all the pork rinds Elvis ate.
  • If it were really Elvis, they'd taste like peanut butter.
  • Wait a minute! That's the "Crying Elvis" bust! They sell 'em for $19.95 at the Graceland gift shop!