NOTE TO ALL:Scoopy Jr writes the bulk of the commentary these days, while Uncle Scoopy continues to add his two cents, and manage the in-house material from the team (primarily Stone Cold, Johnny Web, and Tuna). Contact junior by writing Contact Scoopy by writing

Polls with Lawdog
Current Poll! Who is the "Most Overrated Director"? Go here to vote.

Click here, to read new commentary , plus of course, the results and comments for all previous polls.

The talk back feature is up again. Please feel free to post messages supporting your vote!

NEXT POLL: Suggested by Snowblind...Nominations needed for "Best insult in a movie." Here's and example..."If I had a dick, this is where I'd tell you to suck it." Betty White - Lake Placid.
Please include performer and film when sending in noms. Send your comments or suggestions to

Also needed...suggestions for future polls. Nothing is off limits!

The Gist and Lawdog

What's up with the site...Day 2
We feel that all of our members deserve to know what is happening with the Fun House. here for the updated reasons, explanations, and plans for our future. I tried to answer all of the key questions asked of me, as well as fill you in with regards to what we are doing about getting back on track. If you have further questions or concerns, please email us so that we can provide all of you with as much info as possible.

Today's top stories...
Tuna's website is back online.
Snowblind's board is back online (and modified)
The return of the back issues (limited for now)

Coming soon....
Tuna's entire archive of vidcaps!

"Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy"

Scoop reviewed Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy a few weeks ago with instructions for making a film. It was probably the most brutal review of a film he has ever written. I immediately ordered it to see if it was really that bad. It is. When Hershal Gordon Lewis was asked about the people who say Gore Gore Girls is a bad film, his answer was that it was in focus and in synch, which are the two most important criteria for a film being bad or good. Even by that definition, this is not a good film.

Hmmmm... plot.... a bunch of nurses torture and kill a lot of other people, then kill each other. The highlight for me was when the last nurse standing, wearing only bra, panties and garters waddled off with her Uzi to Beethoven's Ode to Joy to "find innocents to save." All Troma films are different, but this one is different even by Troma standards.

  • Thumbnails

  • Susanna Makay (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Hajni Brown (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "Kalifornia" (1993)

    Kalifornia is a crime/drama/thriller about a psych major (David Duchovny) who is mainly interested in serial killers. His wife (Michelle Forbes), is a photographer, and is after him to move to California. He decides to write a book on his favorite subject, and take a tour of famous murder sites to add atmosphere to his work, and use her photos, then end up in California. Being starving students, they advertise for a couple to share the ride and expenses. They only get one response, and accept them sight unseen. They are a little put out that the couple are the epitome of trailer trash, but have no idea that Early Grayce, played brilliantly by Bradd Pitt is actually a serial killer. His girlfriend (Juliette Lewis) has the maturity of a about 10-year-old, but is a last washed most of the time.

    Although the story is a little weak, the acting is great all around, making it worth seeing. In the first image of Forbes, you can see a wisp of pubic hair. Lewis shows a breast to say goodbye to Pitt. All the rest are seethroughs and undies.

  • Thumbnails

  • Juliette Lewis (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Michelle Forbes (1, 2)
  • WhyScan's Page Three Report
    If Page Three is unfamiliar to you, this link describes the Page Three tradition.

    Kylie Minogue is deliberating over her most revealing video - trying to decide whether or not to show fans her bare essentials.
    The singer has already OK'd two raunchy versions of her new video to accompany 'On a Night Like This' but still isn't sure about an X-rated promo, which will feature her naked!
    In the promo, Kylie plays Guinness advert star Rutger Hauer's bored seductress wife, who skips out for a night at the casino rather than spend time pandering to her husband's gangster pals.

    Even in the safest version of the video fans get an eyeful of the singer's nipples as she walks towards the camera in a see-through dress after stepping out of a swimming pool.
    A spokeswoman for Kylie's record label Parlophone says, "We have a safe version, a late night one and an X-rated version, but that has yet to receive authorization from Kylie before we release it."
    The pop star is already planning to reveal all in a new book, Kylie, featuring photographs and musings about her.
    In the book, Kylie is featured baring all backstage at the G.A.Y. club in London.

    Charlize Theron
    (1, 2, 3)
    The very sexy Charlize getting nekkid in two new releases! #1 features topless images from "Reindeer Games". #2 and #3 feature more views of her wonderful dorsal side from "The Cider House Rules".
    Mindy Clarke Lot's of topless images from "Return of the Living Dead 3". The user comments in the IMDb sing praise, and even Maltin didn't hate it as much as he hates every other movie. Of particular interest in this collage are the frames of extreme body piercing, and the guy in the bottom, middle frame who looks like he could be the lovechild of Cheech Marin and Stacy Keach. Cheech and Keach? Keach and Chong?
    Anne Heche A few minor peaks at side breast views and downshirt cleavage 'caps from the movie "Return to Paradise". But the real news for those who may not have heard is that Heche and Ellen DeGeneres announced their mutual breakup in a statement released on on Saturday.
    Shaunna O'Brien A Skinemax regular. Naturally very topless in these 'caps from "Summer Temptations 2". Just a guess, but based on all of the wigs she's wearing....looks to me like she's trying to "act"!
    Dolly Read From the Russ Meyer and Roger Ebert classic...."Beyond the Valley of the Dolls". Need I say more.
    Peggy Trentini 'Caps from the late night series "Nightcap" Episode: "Sexual Competitors". If the IMDb is right, then Peggy here is something of an oddity in the late night world. Her first credited film is from 1982, and she's still working today! The only thing that raises an eyebrow is a 10 year gap in her films from '84 to '94. Regardless...she's totally nekkid in these frames!
    Amber Valetta More of Zen's excellent runway coverage. Here's Amber teasing us with some subtle nipple exposure.
    Carmen Kass
    Georgina Cooper Nothing hidden here...full exposure of both breasts on the catwalk.
    Carolyn Murphy One breast is better than none!
    Trish Goff Very clear see-thru exposure.
    Helena Christensen
    Gemma Kidd This is a tough this subtle see-thru, a case of extreme pokies, or some combination of the two?
    Rachel Leigh Cook
    Charlize Theron No skin, just a head shot actually, but I absolutely adore this picture!
    Nell McAndrew Topless B&W of the former Tomb Raider model. I don't know about anyone else, but for one can not wait to see Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft in the upcoming Tomb Raider movie!
    Sarah Michelle Gellar Comments by Jenz:
    I was distinctly disappointed with several scans of this picture that I download from the net. Terrible colour, marks and dirt, and text on the skin were the various problems plaguing this pic.
    When the original arrived (in FHM) it also proved to be a horrible picture so the ones I'd seen were therefore not as bad as I thought.
    What I have done here is effectively rebuild and redesign the image. The stark brickwork took away from the actual subject (Sarah) and the colour levels were just plain drab.

    so I did the following:

  • 1) Applied a variable blur to the stone, you'll not that the stone gets sharper as it gets closer to her. This is not however a cylinder or simple mask it is based on nearness to here so width is variable.
  • 2) Her body has had colour alterations to make it warmer and *ahem* more inviting.
  • 3) She has been sharpened up and a minor blur added to skin.
  • 4) She also been hand blurred to get a better overall effect.

    Hope this helps, and hopefully we'll see some other scanners try something different with it.

  • Blackshine
    Camilla Thorsson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    Blackshine has been on a scanning spree! Here are a whole slew of new images, beginning with these scans of Camilla from the German Elle. No nudity, but she's still a very beautiful model. #5 has the closest thing to exposure.
    Trish Goff
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
    More from the Fashion Series. #1-6 are from the German Marie Claire, #7 is an ad. I really like #2.
    Nicole Lemperle
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    Scans from the German Amica. #1 is topless, #5 is an excellent see-thru.
    Mini Anden
    Virginie Ledoyen
    Vivien Solari
    Camilla Thorsson Scan featuring side breast exposure from the German Elle.
    Heidi Klum
    Monica Bellucci
    Carmen Kass
    The Funnies
    The Wizard of Oz...part 2
    The last four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ.
    After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

    Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: "I had a terrible time with Iran, so I've come for some courage."
    "No problem" says the Wizard, "WHO IS NEXT?"

    Ronald Reagan steps forward, "Well.. Well.. Well.. I need a brain."
    "Done," says the Wizard. "Who comes next before the Great Wizard?"

    Up steps George Bush sadly, "I'm told by the American people that I need a heart."
    "I've heard it's true," says the Wizard. "Consider it done."

    Then there is a great silence....
    Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn't say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks...

    "Is Dorothy around?"

    Beer is Good
    Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
    * by Jack Handy

    I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
    * Frank Sinatra

    The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.
    * William Butler Yeats

    An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
    * Ernest Hemingway

    Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
    * Ernest Hemingway

    Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
    * Anonymous

    Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat, hairy girls.
    * Ross Levy

    A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
    * W.C. Fields

    24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
    * Stephen Wright

    You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
    * Frank Zappa

    Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
    * Winston Churchill

    Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
    * Benjamin Franklin

    If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
    * Jack Handy

    Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
    * Dave Barry

    The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
    * Humphrey Bogart

    Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
    * Kaiser Wilhelm

    Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
    * Dave Barry

    All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
    * Homer Simpson

    To alcohol: the cause of, and the solution to, all of life's problems!
    * Homer Simpson

    You know you're drunk when you fall off the floor.

    And God said, "Let there be vodka!" And He saw that it was good. Then God said, "Let there be light!" And then He said, "Whoa - too much light."

    You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
    * Dean Martin

    Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!

    To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support Group

    Scotch -Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine

    Click Here!