"Lawless Heart"

Lawless Heart (2001) is one of those tell the story from several different perspective things. What starts the players in motion is the death of a gay restaurant owner, who died intestate. While he clearly would have willed everything to his long-time male lover, it is all to revert to his sister. Sis and her husband are in serious debt, and could use the money, but sis is thinking of doing the fair thing, and giving it to him. The dead man's brother, and a childhood friend, long absent also arrive at the funeral to add to the confusion. The boyhood friend is broke, and the gay lover allows him to move in, until he throws a loud party, and the gay man thinks he had sex with Sukie Smith in his bed. It wasn't him, but the gay man becomes jealous, and the two vie for her affections.

More than that, I can't really explain, because I, unlike Ebert, who said everything was perfectly clear at all times because of great performances, was frequently confused.Smith shows a full frontal after a shower the morning after the party. IMDb readers score this one 7.6 of 10, but it had almost no box office at $328K. It is a critical hit, scoring 85% at IMDB, with 86% from the top guys, but I, like most of the paying public, was less impressed. The story never drew me in, and I didn't really relate to any of the characters. This is a C, but not one I will ever watch again.

  • Thumbnails

  • Sukie Smith (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    "Die Jungfrauen Maschine"

    Die Jungfrauen Maschine (1988), or The Virgin Machine, is an early art film from German lesbian film maker Monika Treut. Ina Blum is a German reporter, tired of her boyfriend, who is researching romantic love, and trying to find the physical and psychological causes. Her mother long since moved to America, and worked as a stripper, and Blum decides to go to California to escape her boyfriend, reunite with her mother, and continue her research.

    For the rest of the film, we see her adventures in San Francisco, which reach a peak when she has sex with a female stripper, Dominique Gaspar, only to find out that Gaspar expects to be paid. Both women show everything during the lesbian sex scene. The DVD quality is absolutely awful, with the noisy B & W print aged to a pea soup green, and lacking contrast. The mandatory subtitles were also spotty and not very accurate. Without those problems, this might have been a rather enjoyable film. Certainly not to everyone's taste, but a treatment of lesbianism from a talented film maker before it was acceptable in mainstream Hollywood. IMDB readers have this at 6.1 of 10. If the genre is early lesbian art film, this is a C, and would be a C+ with a better transfer. If the subject is of interest to you, you might enjoy seeing it once.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Dominique Caspar (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Ina Blum (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    All That Jazz (1979):

    Of course, I had to disqualify myself from reviewing this since it is almost impossible for me to like a movie filled with show-stopping dance numbers. I'm the guy who fell asleep three times in the original New York production of Cats! I was actually snoring away in the theater. Unfortunately, Broadway does not come with a fast-forward button. The only way to get me to watch a dance number for more than 20 seconds is to get the woman undressed - which director Bob Fosse did do in one number!

    My complete thoughts are here, if you care to read them despite knowing that I hate this kind of tutti-frutti crap and will be completely unfair in my comments.

    • Sandahl Bergman, (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8) who was the lead dancer in this film, so must have been mighty good at it, but went on to a career in cheesy fantasy movies like Conan, Red Sonja, and an all-time funhouse favorite Hell Comes to Frogtown, which starred my personal role model, Rowdy Roddy Piper.

    • Deborah Geffner

    • Unknowns (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)



    New volumes: Nancie Wait, Lynette Walden, Charlotte Walior, Liza Walker, Stacey Walker, Gwynyth Walsh, Julie Walters, Laurie Walters, Jess Walton, Susan Ward, Julie Warner, Sandy Wasko, Chloe Webb, Lynda Weismeier Roberta Weiss, Katja Weitzenboeck, Netalee Weizman, Tuesday Weld, Mary Louise Weller, Julian Wells, Lisa Welti, Claudia Wenzel, Wendi Westbrook, Joanne Whalley, Elizabeth Whitcraft, Bridget White, Carol White, Louise White, Michelle White, Sheila White, Vanna White, Karyn Whitting, Gina Wild, Sandra Wild Claudine Wilde Kimberly Williams Chrystale Wilson Reagan Wilson Keri Windsor Angela Winkler K.C. Winkler Mare Winningham Ophelie Winter, Wendy Winters, Alicia Witt, Johanna Wokalek, Lisa Wolf, Smadi Wolfman, Cynthia Wood, Janet Wood,  Lana Wood, Natalie Wood, Brandy Woods, Fay Wray, Vivian Wu, Barbara Wussow

    Updated volumes: Jennifer Ehle, Tara Fitzgerald, Leelee Sobieski




    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.



    days left until International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept 19)



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Spanish actress Victoria Abril bares breasts, bum and bush (all in great light) in scenes from "Gazon maudit" aka "French Twist" (1996).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Oz:

    "Less than Zero"
    There's about 2 frames of Jami Gertz's nipple in Less than Zero (see the third collage) and a pretty good upskirt by a couple of dancers.

    "A Walk in the Clouds"
    No nudity in A Walk in the Clouds but interesting caps of Aitana Sánchez-Gíjon and Debra Messing.

    • Aitana Sánchez-Gíjon (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Debra Messing (1, 2, 3)

    "Playing Mona Lisa"
    It's a similar story in Playing Mona Lisa where Alicia Witt takes her top off to reveal her bra.

    • Alicia Witt (1, 2)

    "Psycho Beach Party"
    The brief nudity in Psycho Beach Party is of Amy Adams' rear. There's pokies by Tera Bonilla, who appears as a disco dancer during the credits, and Beth Broderick takes off her blouse.

    "From Dusk Till Dawn 3 - The Hangman's Daughter"
    Most of the nudity in From Dusk Till Dawn 3 (aka The Hangman's Daughter) comes from some unknowns. Sonia Braga is bare chested but I think it's a prosthetic.

    "Four for Texas"
    It's pure sex appeal and cleavage by Ursula Andress and Anita Ekberg in Four for Texas.

    "Charlie's Angels"
    Some brief pokies by Marilu Tolo in an episode of Charlie's Angels called Fallen Angel and Farrah Fawcett wears a very open shirt.

    The topless nudity in Whipped is by Jaclyn de Santis or Jennifer lloa, and it's a case of almost by Neriah Davis.

    "Most Fertile Man In Ireland"
    Brief topless nudity by Tara Lynne O'Neill.

    • Tara Lynne O'Neill (1, 2, 3)

    "But I'm a Cheerleader"
    This is for those in to pokies and upskirts by cheerleaders, from But I'm a Cheerleader.

    • Cheeleaders (1, 2, 3)

    "Farewell my Lovely"
    Brief full nudity by Rainbeaux Smith in Farewell My Lovely and topless shots of some unknown prostitutes. Sylvia Miles shows the ravages of alcohol.

    "Girls' Night Out"
    Plenty of nudity in the Korean film Girls' Night Out by Jin Hee-Kyong, Kim Yeo-Jin and Kang Soo-Yeon

    Topless views in Trackdown of Karen Lamm, who plays a high class pro.

    • Karen Lamm (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Patricia Zentilli The Canadian actress known to many from the sci-fi series "Lexx". Here she is topless and gettin' it from behind in scenes from the Showtime series "Street Time".

    Frida Betrani
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Very nice breast exposure in scenes from the Canadian movie "Last Wedding" (2001). 'Caps by the Skin-man.