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"Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers"

Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988) follows all the rules for a slasher sequel. It ups the female nipple count from 0 to 4, ups the body count by killing all but two of the characters, saved to follow rule three, leave room for a sequel. As the film opens, a female camper is telling the story of Sleepaway Camp, and explains that the murderer, Angel of Death, who was a transvestite, has had a sex change operation, and has been released. Councilor Angela chases her back to her cabin, and kills her on the way. We then hack and slash through everyone at the camp whenever someone falls short of Angela's moral code. At the surprise ending, we learn, surprise, surprise, that Angela is really Angel, after the sex change operation. She was released from the hospital for the criminally insane, and immediately hired as a camp councilor.

IMDB calls this Humor/Horror. Taken as humor, I found very little, even set in a summer camp where the humorous possibilities are endless. As horror, there is a huge body count, and some inventive murders, such as shoving a girl through the seat of an outhouse so leeches could kill her, but special effects are done so poorly that there is little shock value, and no suspense whatsoever. The four nipples are provided by Valerie Hartman in several scenes, and by Susan Marie Snyder briefly flashing. Snyder's credits include As the World Turns, Santa Barbara, and a small part in Ruthless People. IMDB readers say 4.6 of 10, and the film seems to have some cult following, mostly because of homages to several other Horror films. I was not at all entertained. C-.

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  • Susan Marie Snyder (1, 2)
  • Valerie Hartman (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)

    "The Return of the Living Dead"

    The Return of the Living Dead (1985) is not really a sequel to Night of the Living Dead, although it makes no bones about using that film for inspiration. Further, it is more a comedy than horror. A young man is working her first night in a medical warehouse that sells cadavers, skeletons, etc. His girlfriend and circle of friends is waiting at the cemetery across the street for him to get off work. The man training him asks if he has seen Night of the Living Dead, then explains that it was a true story, ad the Army accidently shipped the zombies to their warehouse. He takes him to the basement, and they accidently release one. The gas overcomes them, and when they wake up, they are feeling terrible, but are even more concerned that the cadaver in the freezer is alive and trying to break out. They call the owner, admitting what happened, and together, they try to kill the zombie. These are not ordinary movie zombies. First, they are not slow moving. Second, they eat live brains. Third, destroying their brains, or burning them doesn't destroy them.

    After cutting their zombie into pieces, and having each piece still alive, they decide to cremate it at the mortuary across the street. The smoke from the cremation mixes with raindrops, reanimating all of the corpses in the cemetery where the teenagers are killing time. By now, the two warehouse employees are really feeling sick, with headaches, muscle aches, and chills, so they call in paramedics. The paramedics find no pulse, no blood pressure, and body temperature the same as room temperature, and the mortician correctly diagnoses the headaches and muscle pain as rigor mortis. The two don't take this news well. Now, the question becomes how to either defeat the zombies, or escape them, but fast, intelligent and indestructible zombies are a formidable opponent.

    Linnea Quigley, as one of the teenagers, strips to nothing but leg warmers, then dances and runs around showing bush, buns and breasts for a large portion of the film. IMDB readers have this at 6.3 of 10, and even Ebert liked it at three stars. His was the only top critic entry at Rotten Tomatoes, but the film scored 83% overall. The special effects range from good to excellent, the graphic design is very good, and the acting is not at all bad. With appeal both as horror and comedy, the proper score is C+.

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  • Linnea Quigley (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31,)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Jackie Brown is Tarantino's surprisingly grown-up film

  • Bridget Fonda from the DVD
  • Here are some additional images of Bridget from the full-screen VHS version, in which her entire butt is visible. (1, 2)

    Other crap





    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

  • Graphic Response
    • Virginia Madsen, a very nice single exposed breast while in the tub, plus a little side breast view while covered with movie blood. Scenes from "The Candyman".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today we return to "Beast with a Gun", first with the final 2 caps of Marina Giordana at the vicious hands of Helmut Berger, then on to Marisa Mell who also falls victim to the awful Helmut. First she is an outdoor rape victim and then she is attacked again in her apartment and winds up in bed with the evil Helmut where she shows it all.

    • Marina Giordana (breast exposure) (1, 2)

    • Marisa Mell (frontal nudity in links 7-9) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Edwige Fenech
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Excellent toplessness in two Italian movies. Links 1-4 are scenes from "La Vergine, il toro e il capricorno" aka "The Virgin, the Bull and the Capricorn" (1977) and link #5 is from "40 gradi all'ombra del lenzuolo" aka "Sex with a Smile" (1976).

    Laura Antonelli
    (1, 2, 3)

    Another round of gorgeous Italian nudity. Antonelli is topless in two #1 features scenes from "Casta e pura" (1981), links 2-3 are from "Il Merlo maschio" (1971).

    Lilli Carati One more very lovely Italian babe....this time it's all three B's in scenes from "La Professoressa di scienze naturali" aka "School Days" (1976).

    Elvira Behold the magic of DVD! Thanks to Breck for catching this extremely brief nip slip (and of course plenty of cleavage) from the 1988 feature film, "Elvira, Mistress of the Dark".

    Cameron Diaz
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    An extremely brief nipple peak in scenes from "Vanilla Sky" (2001), by Gunde.

    Suzane Carvalho Fantastic breast and bush exposure from the Brazilian actress in scenes from the Women in Prison movie "Women in Fury" aka "Women's Penitentiary 5" (1985). Another great collage by Dann.

    Lydia Martini
    and Mary Willis
    (1, 2)

    The ladies of "Sore Losers", by Mister Grundy.

    Mr G invites you visit his site at Sick Sexy Sinema Shots

    Kimberly Rowe
    (1, 2)

    The Skinemax babe many of us know from the "Emmanuelle" movies and "Justine" series baring her bum and going topless in scenes from "Second to Die" (2001). Thanks to DeadLamb.

    Charlie Spradling
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Not exactly a household name, but she's a lovely brunette actress that looks pretty good nekkid. Here she is topless in scenes from "Meridian" (1990).

    Mail Bag

    Did Yuliya Mayarchuk (best known for her role in Tinto Brass' "Trasgredire" 2000) do any nude scenes in "Faccia di Picasso" 2000 (aka Picasso Face)?

    Jr's reply...Honestly I don't know. Perhaps some of our Euro-nudity specialists can help us out with that, because she looks pretty darn good nekkid!