Wednesday

Film clips: Connelly Mania, Part 1:

  • Is it the greatest 15 seconds of cinema in all of history? It is certainly one of the most captured. Jennifer Connelly in The Hot Spot. (Movie House Review) ...  (Zipped .wmv)
  • There is a sex scene in Waking the Dead (Movie House Reviews) which offers a nice (but brief) look at Connelly's massive chest. ... (Zipped .wmv)
  • The deleted scenes from Waking The Dead have the long version of the sex scene. The quality is not up to the snuff of the material which made the cut, but what a scene!! If you've never seen this, you must. ... (Zipped .wmv)

 

 

Scary Movie 4 (2006):

The general consensus is that this one is the third best in the series, a hair below the previous one. Our four main indicators are in complete agreement on the rank order: 1, 3, 4, 2.

  IMDB RT % Metacritic Box Office ($m)
Scary Movie 5.7 52 48 157
Scary Movie 2 4.3 11 29 71
Scary Movie 3 5.3 39 48 110
Scary Movie 4 5.2 36 40 90

I agree with that ranking in general, except that I think that I liked this one better than #3, but maybe not. To tell you the truth I really don't remember #3 well enough to distinguish between them. Frankly, the two run together in my head.  #1 was an outstanding piece of comedy writing, combining genre parody with zany cultural references. The sequels have been more like name-dropping than actual parody, kind of a "spot the reference" game, and I haven't really been enthusiastic about any of them. They seem like pale reflections of the original.

This one, like the previous one, does provide sporadic laughs, enough to get me through it without the fast-forward button. The films being "spoofed" (or at least "referenced") in the latest go-round are Saw, War of the Worlds, The Grudge, Brokeback Mountain, and The Village, although the silliest and most energetic material comes from outside that framework  - a completely naked Leslie Nielsen as the American president speaking at the U.N., and a wild exaggeration of Tom Cruise's famous couch-jumping appearance on Oprah. How does that all make sense in the context of a plot. Well, it doesn't really. Do you care?

Three last points:

  • It did well enough at the box office to ensure that there will be a Scary Movie 5.

  • The DVD is rich with bonus material

  • The unrated cut even includes an unexpectedly large quantity of nudity for a PG-13 movie, although way too much of it comes from octogenarian Leslie Nielsen and his body double.

Nudity in the unrated version: Kendra Wilkinson has a nipple-slip during the pillow fight. Another woman has a nipple-slip during the nude U.N. scene. Three female U.N. delegates are completely topless, but VERY far from the camera, and seen only in a fast pan across the room. You would never know without the pause button.

Kendra Wilkinson
various

 

OTHER CRAP:

It's August 16th, and ... you're on notice ...




Today's notes:


  • Swedish pirates? Sweden is no place for pirates. Those cruel bastards must know that their parrots can't survive the harsh Swedish winters. Not even the Norwegian Blue. (Beautiful plumage.)
  • Existential philosophy. Everyone knows there is only one philosophy that makes sense. The Carling philosophy.
  • Mr. Floatie. You slacker. Don't we have enough people on the unemployment rolls? Get off your ass and become a politician. Being a giant piece of shit, you have all the right qualifications.
  • The Care Bears. GKM. 'Nuff said.


A clip from The Quiet, a new femme fatale thriller with Elisha Cuthbert

"Girl in Wales finds lucky whale vomit"

You Tube success spurs multiple imitators

With sewage treatment coming to Victoria, Mr. Floatie's job is in the crapper.

Pluto To Be Demoted To 'Junior Sidekick' Status

Universal Studios - fall preview

The combined trailer for Flags of Our Fathers, and Red Sun Black Sand
  • You may not have heard of these films yet, but you will. They are a very big deal. One tells the story of Iwo Jima from the American viewpoint, the other from the Japanese perspective. Spielberg produced. Eastwood directed. Paul Haggis (Crash) wrote the script for the American version, while a Japanese screenwriter did the other.

'City Slickers' actor Bruno Kirby dies at age 57.

The FCC Enters Real Life (Family Guy Clip)

"The South Dakota School of Mines and Technology said it does not have the body of the legendary Bigfoot."
  • All other schools, of course, do

Prince Harry appears in news photo with hand on woman's breast
  • The royal family has demanded a newspaper correct a story printed alongside a picture of Prince Harry apparently groping a woman's breast, claiming the photograph was out of date.

Tampa Bay Devil Rays call up a mascot from the minors.

Raiders Of The Lost Ark, 30 seconds, bunnies

What's the news on X-Men 4

Microsoft: Create your own video game
  • "Microsoft Corp. said it plans to offer a consumer version of the professional software tools used to create video games for its Xbox 360 console."
  • "The software will let anyone with the desire create their own video games and then share them on Microsoft's Xbox Live online game service."

"The U.S. government has misplaced the original recording of the first moon landing"

Colbert Report: Jon's Apology
  • Stephen makes Jon walk a mile in Geraldo's moustache

Colbert Report: Jon Gets Called Out
  • Jon Stewart becomes the first person to be put on the new "Called Out" board.

The Evil Care Bears Game

Daily Show: White Noise. "If you've never been in Beirut during Cease-Fire Day, it's worth experiencing at least once in your life."

"Propaganda from both Israel and Hezbollah proves Jon Stewart's verdict that the recent conflict is a win-win situation."

The Long Morrow - Twilight_Zone, 135


 

Ace Ventura returns ... and not a moment too soon. It will actually feature Ace's son.
  • Yup. Because sequels to Jim Carrey movies are always so much better without Jim. Like Dumb and Dumberer, Son of the Mask ...

Matt and Trey offer to let Tom Cruise accept their Emmy if they win.
  • Trey, you magnificent bastard! If Cruise has any sense of humor at all (unlikely), he will do it and have fun with it - hire a professional joke writer to script him an acceptance speech. Yeah, I know. Never gonna happen.

You think the Middle East is bad. That situation pales in comparison to ... Supermodels At War

This week's movies:

  • Little Miss Sunshine: 600 theaters, 93% positive reviews.
  • The Illusionist: 40 theaters, 71% positive. Apparently arthouse fare.
  • Accepted: 2700 theaters, 33% positive reviews. The general consensus: (1) It should have been an R comedy, not PG-13 (2) It's basically a 90 minute Apple commercial
  • Material Girls: 1500 theaters, no advance reviews. PG film starring the Duff sisters.
  • Snakes on a Plane: 3300 screens, no reviews, and no MPAA rating yet. Apparently it hopes to succeed on buzz alone. Maybe so.

The Weekend Warrior's box office outlook for the upcoming weekend

  • Snakes on a Plane is expected to be the runaway champ, grossing as much as the next two added together.
  • Distributors sure are being conservative with Little Miss Sunshine. It is expected to finish second in revenues per theater, but will only be in 660 locations.
  • The overall box office is expected to be just about dead even with last year.
  • Edward Norton's The Illusionist is not expected to crack the list, which isn't surprising since it's only going to be on 40 screens.
  • Accepted, the comedy about the kid who starts his own college, is expected to finish second, but with no special distinction.

Whatever happened to ... Pete Best

"U.N. To Send Peacekeepers; Hezbollah To Send Warkeepers"
  • 'Roadmap to Chaos' Still Intact, Says Hezbollah Leader

Letterman: "Top Ten Mel Gibson Excuses"

  • Shouldn't have been drinking with Hasselhoff
  • Tired of Britney Spears getting all the 'crazy celebrity' attention
  • Hoping to be named People Magazine's 'Sexiest Anti-Semite Alive'

Colbert looks at California's 6th District - wine country, and George Lucas country

A warning about the danger of beer drinking

One man's photographic journey in a small plane from California to the OSHKOSH air show

The trailer for Artie Lange's Beer League, the title of which is self-explanatory

US Bans Clothing On All Flights

The seven ways that people search the Web.

China has banished Homer Simpson, Pokemon and Mickey Mouse

 

 

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

Angel Guts: Red Classroom (1979)

Angel Guts: Red Classroom, or "Tenshi no harawata: Akai ky˘shitsu," is the second in the Nikkatsu Company Angel Guts series based on the Manga series of Takashi Ishii.

This time, Tetsuro (Keizo Kanie) is an editor of a girlie magazine. He is watching an illegal underground porno film about the rape of a young schoolgirl, and becomes obsessed with the schoolgirl, so obsessed that he even turns away one of his models, Jun Aki, who shows up once a week for sex she can't get from her husband. Through his contacts in the skin business, Tetsuro learns how to find the girl, who is of course poor old Nami, the designated victim in all the Angel Guts films, this time played by Yuuki Mizuhara. She works in a bar, putting on sex shows, and having sex with the more affluent patrons. He manages to meet her, and discovers that the rape movie that had so inflamed him was not consensual on her part, which goes a long way towards explaining why he found her performance so realistic. He falls in love with her. For her part, she is used to people who recognize her from the film, and it has changed the course of her life and inured her. Her reaction is to just have sex with her admirers, then dismiss them.

Many feel this is the best in the series. Think of it as a dramatic and in-your-face exposÚ of how women can be used and discarded by the porn industry. This time Ishii, the originator of the series, co-authored the screenplay with director Chuusei Sone, who also directed the first in the series. Sone was known for never doing two films in the same style, and the Angel Guts films were no exception. His efforts won him the Best Director award at the Yokohama film festival, where the film also won for Best Actress and Best Supporting Actor.

This is a C+. Top of the line in this genre.  Be advised that the genre itself,  Japanese "rough sex" films, is specialty material for a small niche audience.

 

Yuuki Mizuhara shows breasts and buns, and even a bit of rear gyno action (very illegal in Japan).
Jun Aki shows breasts
There is additional breast exposure from two unidentified actresses playing models.
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

First there was "Busty Cops."  Now there's "Busty Cops 2." 

And coming soon..."Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade." 

This is a project which will stretch over several days. Today's babes are the tag-team of Ashley Blue and Hannah Harper.

First Ashley Blue alone ...

... and then with Hannah Harper

...  then Hannah Harper alone

 

 

 

 

Lindsay Lohan - loose clothes and no bra

Kate Beckinsale - bikini

Kristen Bell in Pulse. This one is in theaters right now.

And this one comes from the future. It won't be released until October 20. Holly Valance - in DOA Dead of Alive (Another movie based on a video game.)

This one even comes with a zipped .wmv, which is kind of a cool fight scene. The film clip is much more worthwhile than the capture below.

Finally, three more from RokWatch: Jamie Lee Curtis in the hooker outfit from Trading Places.

The Winona Ryder cleavage collection.

Penelope Ann Miller in Carlito's Way.