It's August 16th, and ... you're on notice ...
Swedish pirates? Sweden is no place for pirates. Those cruel bastards must know that their parrots can't survive the harsh Swedish winters. Not even the Norwegian Blue. (Beautiful plumage.)
- Existential philosophy. Everyone knows there is only one philosophy that makes sense. The Carling philosophy.
- Mr. Floatie. You slacker. Don't we have enough people on the unemployment rolls? Get off your ass and become a politician. Being a giant piece of shit, you have all the right qualifications.
- The Care Bears. GKM. 'Nuff said.
A clip from The Quiet, a new femme fatale thriller with Elisha Cuthbert
"Girl in Wales finds lucky whale vomit"
You Tube success spurs multiple imitators
With sewage treatment coming to Victoria, Mr. Floatie's job is in the crapper.
Pluto To Be Demoted To 'Junior Sidekick' Status
Universal Studios - fall preview
The combined trailer for Flags of Our Fathers, and Red Sun Black Sand
You may not have heard of these films yet, but you will. They are a very big deal. One tells the story of Iwo Jima from the American viewpoint, the other from the Japanese perspective. Spielberg produced. Eastwood directed. Paul Haggis (Crash) wrote the script for the American version, while a Japanese screenwriter did the other.
'City Slickers' actor Bruno Kirby dies at age 57.
The FCC Enters Real Life (Family Guy Clip)
"The South Dakota School of Mines and Technology said it does not have the body of the legendary Bigfoot."
All other schools, of course, do
Prince Harry appears in news photo with hand on woman's breast
The royal family has demanded a newspaper correct a story printed alongside a picture of Prince Harry apparently groping a woman's breast, claiming the photograph was out of date.
Tampa Bay Devil Rays call up a mascot from the minors.
Raiders Of The Lost Ark, 30 seconds, bunnies
What's the news on X-Men 4
Microsoft: Create your own video game
"Microsoft Corp. said it plans to offer a consumer version of the professional software tools used to create video games for its Xbox 360 console."
"The software will let anyone with the desire create their own video games and then share them on Microsoft's Xbox Live online game service."
"The U.S. government has misplaced the original recording of the first moon landing"
Colbert Report: Jon's Apology
Stephen makes Jon walk a mile in Geraldo's moustache
Colbert Report: Jon Gets Called Out
Jon Stewart becomes the first person to be put on the new "Called Out" board.
The Evil Care Bears Game
Daily Show: White Noise. "If you've never been in Beirut during Cease-Fire Day, it's worth experiencing at least once in your life."
"Propaganda from both Israel and Hezbollah proves Jon Stewart's verdict that the recent conflict is a win-win situation."
The Long Morrow - Twilight_Zone, 135
Ace Ventura returns ... and not a moment too soon.
It will actually feature Ace's son.
Yup. Because sequels to Jim Carrey movies are always so much better without Jim. Like Dumb and Dumberer, Son of the Mask ...
Matt and Trey offer to let Tom Cruise accept their Emmy if they win.
Trey, you magnificent bastard! If Cruise has any sense of humor at all (unlikely), he will do it and have fun with it - hire a professional joke writer to script him an acceptance speech. Yeah, I know. Never gonna happen.
You think the Middle East is bad. That situation pales in comparison to ...
Supermodels At War
This week's movies:
Little Miss Sunshine: 600 theaters, 93% positive reviews.
The Illusionist: 40 theaters, 71% positive. Apparently arthouse fare.
Accepted: 2700 theaters, 33% positive reviews. The general consensus: (1) It should have been an R comedy, not PG-13 (2) It's basically a 90 minute Apple commercial
Material Girls: 1500 theaters, no advance reviews. PG film starring the Duff sisters.
Snakes on a Plane: 3300 screens, no reviews, and no MPAA rating yet. Apparently it hopes to succeed on buzz alone. Maybe so.
The Weekend Warrior's box office outlook for the upcoming weekend
Snakes on a Plane is expected to be the runaway champ, grossing as much as the next two added together.
Distributors sure are being conservative with Little Miss Sunshine. It is expected to finish second in revenues per theater, but will only be in 660 locations.
The overall box office is expected to be just about dead even with last year.
Edward Norton's The Illusionist is not expected to crack the list, which isn't surprising since it's only going to be on 40 screens.
Accepted, the comedy about the kid who starts his own college, is expected to finish second, but with no special distinction.
Whatever happened to ...
"U.N. To Send Peacekeepers; Hezbollah To Send Warkeepers"
'Roadmap to Chaos' Still Intact, Says Hezbollah Leader
"Top Ten Mel Gibson Excuses"
Shouldn't have been drinking with Hasselhoff
Tired of Britney Spears getting all the 'crazy celebrity' attention
Hoping to be named People Magazine's 'Sexiest Anti-Semite Alive'
Colbert looks at California's 6th District - wine country, and George Lucas country
A warning about the danger of beer drinking
One man's photographic journey in a small plane from California to the OSHKOSH air show
The trailer for Artie Lange's Beer League, the title of which is self-explanatory
US Bans Clothing On All Flights
The seven ways that people search the Web.
China has banished Homer Simpson, Pokemon and Mickey Mouse