"The Lair of the White Worm"
The Lair of the White Worm (1988), according to IMDB, and every reviewer I checked, is a Roger Corman exploitation style horror film directed by Ken Russel, and most wonder why the hell he made it. They consider it far too normal compared to his usual work. If I saw it as a horror film, I would reach the same conclusion. Several things about it are puzzling, though, if it is a grade B horror film. First, what is the wormpyre (female villain) doing with a home tanning machine her dusty castle? Why the Snakes and Ladders board game, or a boy scout being the first victim we see. Consider this line from Hugh Grant, "I see you like our local speciality. Not everyone takes to marinated earth worms in aspic." Then there is the pencil getting a hard-on during the flight attendant cat fight fantasy sequence. When Russel solved the mystery of what Scotsmen wear beneath their kilts once and for all, a mongoose, I finally knew what he was on about. This is a comedy send-up of the genre.
Words like "campy" and "tongue in cheek" apply here. It is clearly not just a "so bad it is funny" film, in that it has good pace, good performers, and is a very easy watch. Possibly I am bent the same way as Russel, but I love Crimes of Passion, which many think of as one of his lesser films, and I thought this comedy was hilarious. Two virgin sisters run a bed and breakfast owned by Hugh Grant, lord of the manor, since the mysterious disappearance of their parents. Peter Capaldi is an archeologist staying at the B&B and excavating in the front yard, where he finds proof of a convent, then, lower, a worm skull and Roman coins. Seems there was a famous worm slain by Grants ancestors, and wormpyre Amanda Donohoe is a modern day worshiper of the beasty. As Hugh Grant explains, "worm is an adaptation of the Anglo-Saxon 'wirm' meaning dragon or snake." Donohoe's bites can turn people into worm food, or other wormpyres. In the course of the film, she shows breasts numerous times, buns, and bush, or something the right shape and size where her bush would be. Due to angles and lighting, it is hard to be sure about the bush exposure. Make sure to check out image 34 to see an even more impressive dildoe than the one in "Crimes of Passion."
Music also helps to make this film. Capaldi uses the pipes to charm the beasty (until he runs out of breath) and the Celtic rock ode to the worm is a masterpiece. IMDB readers have this at 5.5 of 10. Most critics were unimpressed, as evidenced by the 45% score at Rotten Tomatoes. However, one critic saw the film the same way I did. "Outrageous Ken Russell horror spoof. Not his best, but still very good" -- Ken Hanke, MOUNTAIN XPRESS (ASHEVILLE, NC). As a Horror film, this would be a C-, but, taken as a genre spoof, it is a very good effort. However, it went over (or under) the heads of most viewers, so the proper score is probably still C-. I enjoyed it very much though.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
SAD NEWS from Scandinavia:
From the mailbox:
Dear Scoopy/Scoopy JR,
I have spent the last five years creating more than 3000 images
and publishing them on my website (the last 2-3 in close
cooperation with you guys!). This has been a very rewarding
activity and I have really enjoyed interacting with the
visitors, other imaging artists and of course you as well.
Lately, I have however felt that this has become more of a
burden than something I truly enjoy doing. My spare time has
been limited and I have been feeling that I need to do other
things as well, while I am still (relatively) young. I have
therefore decided to take a timeout from updating the site to
figure things out and see what else life has to offer. After I
have done that, I may return and continue do work on my website,
but I don't know that for sure right now.
I am in the process of creating edition 127, I will update the
web pages to let people know that I am on a timeout and that if
they want access to more pictures than those published there,
they can always pay your site a visit and get access to my
archives. What I am hoping for is that you would be OK with
keeping my web site up for the time being and that we then can
touch base later to decide on whether it still should remain
open or if it should be permanently shut down. I expect it to
take a few months before I will be able to determine whether I
want to continue doing this or let it go.
I would like to take the opportunity to thank you for giving me
a home when my ISP closed my site down and for being such great
cooperation partners through the good times (and the bad). Your
web site is the best on the web and it has been a true honor to
be a part of it.
Best regards (and see you 'round),
Scoop's note: We understand. There is a
life beyond the mouse. Honte's new edition (maybe his last??) is now
State of Grace (1990):
I was really surprised to see that there was a movie
as good as this that I had never heard of.
You see, I
lived in Europe from 1990 to 1993. While some American movie make it
over there, maybe even at about the same time as they play in the
States, not every movie makes the migration. There was no reason for
Europe to take a chance on this one. It didn;t even interest anyone
in the United States (a whopping two million box office).
So I had never heard of the film before today, and
it was a pleasant surprise.
It's a gangster picture about a cop who goes back to
his old neighborhood undercover, with the intent of busting the
racketeers there, who basically consist of all of his oldest and
closest friends. The cast includes Sean Penn, John Turturro, Ed
Harris, Gary Oldman, and Robin Wright, with lots of great character
actors in supporting roles as well.
I don't mean to
oversell it. The film doesn't cover any new ground. In fact uses the
official American Gangster Movie Plot which formed the basis for
every crime film made in American from the first talkie until The
Godfather. Tough Irish kids grow up together in Hell's Kitchen. One
kid grows up to be a notorious gangster (Jimmy Cagney or John
Garfield), his best friend grows up to be a priest or an honest cop
(Spencer Tracy or somebody named O'Brien). Eventually their paths
must cross, and the priest or cop must decide whether to enforce the
law or remain loyal to his friend. Almost invariably, one of the
friends is in love with the other's sister, who gets caught between
them. Various of their old neighborhood friends also get caught in
the struggle, like the lovable but dumb guy who doesn't understand
what's going on.
That's the same ground this story
treads upon, and there's nothing very new except color, the
modernization of the crimes (drugs) and threats (Haitian and Italian
mobsters trying to muscle in), and more explicit modern levels of
sex and violence than you would have seen in the days of the Hays
Code. But a movie doesn't have to possess earth-shattering novelty
to be good. It's the usual story, but it's done very well, and acted
exceptionally well, so for once I got a pleasant surprise.
Three stars from Roger Ebert (I agree with that assessment. Very
good film, not great.), 100% positives at RT.
Robin Wright. (1,
3) She looked great. Very sexy and
elegant and trim, and I liked her looks better with the fleshier
face she used to have.
Little Eye (2002):
My Little Eye is a hybrid between reality TV and an
old-fashioned haunted house movie. A web-based show like Big Brother
offers a bunch of young adults a million dollars if they can stay
together in a remote mansion for six months. The catch is that all
five of the contestants must make it, or nobody wins.
Everything they do is broadcast to the internet via dozens of
Or so they are led to believe.
As time goes on, the contestants begin to suspect that there are
sinister forces at play in the contest. At first they suspect that
the people who run the show are staging various events to get the
contestants to leave, presumably so the mysterious "company" won't
have to pay the million dollars. As more time goes on, they begin to
suspect that the deepest levels of the secret are even uglier than
they had suspected, and that they are actually participants in a
completely different show from the one they signed up for. But what
is it? And is there a spy in their own midst as well? Or is
everything simply as it should be, but distorted by their cabin
The movie is OK. It's actually two movies. The
first hour or so is a slow-paced suspenseful mystery, during which
we join their search for a explanation to various events which may
or may not have been staged by the company. The last third is a
typical hyperkinetic slasher cut-'em-up gorefest. The two halves are
OK, but I'm not sure that they go together that well. That is a
difficult transition to manage, to be sure. The filming technique is
neo-realism - ala Blair Witch. The film deliberately uses grainy
images from the web-cams to make the audience feel like a member of
the fictitious web site.
The DVD is much better than
the film itself because it is quite innovative. The film has two
versions, regular and interactive. In order to participate in the
interactive version, you have to enter a secret password, which is
hidden somewhere in the DVD package. Once you get there, you watch
the interactive version of the film in a browser window, and you are
able to switch from camera to camera, or to view archive footage
from events that transpired before the movie began. That is a pretty
cool feature, especially for the sex scene. I guess I should
point out the good news and bad news. The good news is that you can
view the sex scene from any of four different cameras, and can
switch back and forth as you please. The bad news is that the image
quality sucks on all of them - they're supposed to be web-cams, and
they're operating in a dark bedroom, so ....
also a second disc with special features. Pretty cool package for a
The filmmaking won't be compared to Apocalypse Now
any time soon, and it isn't even completely successful as a horror
film, but it has its moments, and I tip my hat in respect for the
time and effort and innovation that went into making this DVD a
complete experience. I enjoyed it overall.
Brooke Richards - Playmate December 1999 - Gallery Courtesy of
ya gotta love the Wicked Weasel bikini company - and Shani
FHMUS.com - Tara Reid is lookin' mighty good in some bikinis
FHMUS.com - gallery of soccer star Heather Mitts
Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes - The World According to Arnold
Pittsburgh beats Milwaukee's meat.
Antonella Santini, the exotic dancer featured in salacious
National Enquirer stories that purported to detail a sexual
encounter she had with actress Jennifer Lopez' fiance, Ben
Affleck, has sued the tabloid, saying she never had sex with the
'Gigli' actor. Hey, she's a stripper, but she has some
Sex, drugs and posting bail - Australia's uneasy relationship
with visiting musicians. Interesting article, all new to me.
the top 10 murderers in movie history For once, there is
some thought behind the list.
Formerly hunky actor Rob Lowe Joins Schwarzenegger Campaign.
As long as he doesn't sing the campaign song, it's OK by me.
Actor Tom Sizemore was convicted in Los Angeles on Friday of
domestic violence, criminal threats and obscene phone calls
stemming from his relationship with onetime 'Hollywood Madam'
Heidi Fleiss. "The 41-year-old actor faces a possible four
years in prison when he is sentenced on Oct. 2."
Tarantino shocks with 'most violent film ever'
BBC collects some of the best internet hoaxes - Don't believe
everything you read online
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
days left until International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept 19)
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
- Ione Skye, the indie film actress and star of "Say Anything..." topless and almost full frontal in scenes from "The Rachel Papers" (1989).
- Peta Wilson, the star of the TV series "La Femme Nikita" bares all in "Mercy" (2000).
- Susan Sarandon, gorgeous breast exposure in scenes from "Pretty Baby" (1978).
- Kim Thomson, the UK actress topless and in love scenes from "Stealing Heaven" (1988).
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
So here I am working on a Hefmate-and-Pet-of-the-silver-screen update when I run into an ad for a movie starring both Victoria Zdrok and Linn (Lynn) Thomas. These women have the distinction of appearing as the monthly central exposed person in both magazines. Sooo, okay, I grab this puppy, entitled Temptation, and yessireee boys lemme tell you, this is a keeper. I am maybe a third of the way through it and have grabbed, I dunno... 400 frames! Victoria looks the best I've seen her and Linn-Lynn ain't no slouch, AND both women are shall we say thoroughly exposed.
The movie was directed by Michael Ninn, who I take it does high-end adult films, but the real pro here appears the Director of Photography. He knows what he is doing and does it extremely well. Bottom line of it all is the raw frames are pristine and the women are filmed perfectly.
Before I finish capping the movie, I thought I'd send in a few things for the time being. The first four are tame, whereas the last three give you a sense of where this movie is headed. So far as I can see, there isn't anything in this movie that might appeal to folks who The Gimp calls raincoaters, but it does appear Victoria and Linn-Lynn are walking a very thin line.
- Victoria Zdrok, breasts, bum and serious gyno-views
Some of the data I passed along by way of Tuna was a wee bit outdated. Here are the most capped performances as of 10 minutes ago, at least on The Gimp's database:
1)Shannon Elizabeth American Pie 27
2)Heather Graham Killing Me Softly 25
3)Alyssa Milano Embrace of the Vampire 23
4)Phoebe Cates Fast Times at Ridgemont 23
5)Katie Holmes The Gift 22
6)Jennifer Connelly The Hot Spot 22
7)Heather Graham Boogie Nights 20
8)Jaime Pressly Poison Ivy 3 16
A few artists have done all of these, several have done 6 or 7 out of 8 but each has been capped by someone who appears to have done just about nothing else. Real fans, I guess.
In addition to Heather, Jennifer Connelly (Inventing the Abbots and Waking the Dead) Shannon Elizabeth (Dish Dogs) and Alyssa Milano (Poison Ivy 2 and Outer Limits) have performances capped by 10 or more artists. I'm figuring the same would be true of Katie Holmes if she even thought about going nekkid in another movie.
|The French Canadian actress goes full frontal in scenes from "La Turbulence des fluides" aka "Chaos and Desire" (2002).
|Another lovely French-Canadian going full frontal. This time in scenes from "The Favorite Game" (2003). Of course most folks will recognize her from the mega-hit "Battlefield Earth". Ok, maybe not.
|Laurie Partridge topless in scenes from "Echo Park" (1986).
|aka Ty Randolph. Here she is playing a topless body double in scenes from the Brian De Palma thriller, "Body Double" (1984). 'Caps by Señor Skin.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
NORTHEAST POWER OUTAGE WORST EVER
Blame Canada! - Thursday, the worst power outage in history struck the
Northeastern US and Canada. It's suspected that lightning or some other
natural problem caused it, and safeguards that should have isolated it to
one small part of the power grid failed and let it spread across an area
with a population of 50 million. In New York City, people had to be
rescued from stalled subways and elevators. Thousands of cars were backed
up at a standstill, and the streets were jammed with people escaping their
un-air conditioned buildings.
So how is this different from any other day in New York?
In the garment district, fashion models had to be rescued from stalled
Mayor Bloomberg took swift action: He immediately imposed a "darkness
Actually, this isn't the worst power outage ever...Back in the 1870s,
the entire Eastern Seaboard had no electricity at all.
SCIENTISTS GROW BREASTS IN LAB
The Other White Meat - Scientists at St. Vincent's Hospital in Melbourne,
Australia, announced that they had grown a breast in a pig, using new stem
cell technology. They believe they will eventually be able to use it to
grow fat tissue in humans for breast reconstruction, augmentation and
contour filling. So if a woman has lost a breast, they will be able to
simply grow her a new one in the lab.
Better yet, healthy women can get a third breast!
Actually, the scientists grew the breast in the lab because it's the
only way some of them will ever touch one.
Know who really loved this experiment? Male chauvinist pigs.
ZELLWEGER PAID TO GET FAT
Flesh Peddler - Renee Zellweger didn't want to regain weight to do a sequel
to "Bridget Jones' Diary," but she's now stuffing herself until she feels
sick because the producers made it worth her while. On top of her $22
million salary, she was offered a bonus of $112,000 for every pound of fat
she manages to pack on, up to 30 pounds. If she gains it all, she'll
pocket over $3 million.
Which should just about cover her Krispy Kreme bill.
Her agent sure knows how to extract a pound of flesh from producers.
KOURNIKOVA TO PROMOTE SEX RESORT
Her True Calling - Anna Kournikova has signed a deal to become a tourism
ambassador for Pattaya, Thailand, a resort once known for its beaches but
which has more recently developed a sleazy reputation because of its sex
industry. Kournikova will appear in a promotional video for Pattaya and
play an exhibition game there.
Not tennis...just a game involving exhibitionism.
She will exhibit her thong.
Does this mean they've decided to PROMOTE their sex industry?