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"All About The Benjamins"

All About the Benjamins (2002) stars Ice Cube as a bounty hunter, and Michael Epps as a petty crook and con man. When Ice is sent after Epps, they inadvertently get caught up in a diamond theft and multiple murder. Ice wants to solve the case, and gain enough notoriety to open a detective agency and quit bounty hunting. Epps had a winning lottery ticket in his wallet worth $30 million, and the wallet is lost somewhere at the boat yard that is the crooks headquarters. They become reluctant partners, since getting the bad guys is to both their benefit.

The only exposure is from Carmen Chaplin, as one of the robbers, who is killed early in the film. We see most of her left nipple and part of her right one when she floats up dead in a bathtub. The film grossed $25.5m against a $15m budget, but is rated 4.6 of 10 at IMDB and stored a dismal 15% with top critics at IMDB and 33% overall. So, what we have is a poorly rated film that a lot of people paid to see. I didn't find it any worse than other violent crime films featuring rap stars, and give it a C.

  • Thumbnails

  • Carmen Chaplin (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    "Jackie Brown"

    Jackie Brown (1997) is the DVD release of the month, and I am happy to report that it was worth waiting almost 5 years for. The two disk Collector's Edition features a pristine transfer, and an entire DVD of extra features, including script, interviews with nearly everyone, MTV spots, trailers, production stills deleted scenes, and more. This was Quentin Tarantino's follow-up to Pulp Fiction, which was probably the biggest influence on film of the last decade, and, in some ways, repeats the formula, mixing brutal violence, dark comedy, great character development, and amazing dialogue. Tarantino chose a cast equal to the task. He based the script on the novel Rum Punch, which featured a white woman, but when Quentin thought about the role, which required a woman in her 40's who looked ten years younger, and had the strength and confidence to show everyone she was not afraid and could hold her own, Pam Grier was the name he came up with. He is a huge fan of 60s and 70s film, and also had Pam read for a part in Pulp Fiction, which he decided she was too strong for.

    Pam is an airline stewardess who has been bringing in cash from Mexico for gun dealer Samual Jackson. A Federal ATF agent catches her with cash, and some coke, and she is bailed out by Robert Forster. The two of them form a love interest. Robert De Niro plays a newly released con and old cellmate of Jackson, who is staying with him and might partner in the gun dealing. Bridget Fonda plays a doper surfer chick who is one of Jackson's girls. She comes off at first as a dumb blonde, but actually knows everything that is going on around her, and is a super bitch. Michael Keaton plays the ATF agent.

    Pam has a record, and works for a tiny airline for $16,000.00 per year and a shit retirement, because none of the majors will hire her. After the arrest, she stands to lose even that job. The feds offer her a deal, if she will hand over her contacts. The story becomes all about $.5M that Jackson has in Mexico, and she plays ATF, Jackson and Fonda, and nearly everyone else, hoping to solve her legal problems, get rid of Jackson, and get away with the money.

    The only nudity is a brief view of Fonda's buns, which are half cut off in the Widescreen edition, but Fonda wears a bikini top and short cut-offs through most of the film. I included a few frames of Pam Grier, as she looked great, especially for her age. IMDB readers have this at 7.3 of 10. Robert Forster received an Oscar nomination, and Grier and Jackson were nominated for Golden Globes. Ebert is enthusiastic awarding 4 stars. Berardinelli calls it an ordinary crime movie, but awards three stars anyway. It received 88% fresh at Rotten Tomatoes, with 100% from top critics. Like Tarantino, I am a big fan of 70's exploitation films, including blacksploitaton films, and also of Pam Grier, so this was my kind of film. B.

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  • Bridget Fonda (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Pam Grier (1, 2, 3)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    The New Guy is a high school comedy starring the geeky guy from Road Trip and Eliza Dushku. No nudity.

    Last Orders is the British film about some old friends scattering their colleagues ashes, drinking, remembering ...

    • Claire Harman (1, 2, 3)



    Other crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Barbara Crampton, the long time B-movie babe bares her lovely breasts in "Re-Animator" (1985).

    • Johanna Quintero, full frontal nudity in scenes from her only IMDb film credit, "The Apostate" aka "Michael Angel" (1998).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today I was poking around the hard drive and found these caps that I had never used from "Sex and the City", so here are Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall and Kristen Davis.

    Kim has the only skin but all 3 are very sexy ladies. It's been so long since I made them that I'm not quite sure but I think they were from season one.

    • Kim Cattrall (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Kristin Davis (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Sarah Jessica Parker (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Kelly McGillis and Susie Porter
    (1, 2, 3)

    Toplessness and lesbo lovin' in scenes from "The Monkey's Mask" (2000).

    Michela Bruni
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    The gorgeous model in several nude poses.

    Marilyn Monroe A Tuna-ZonononZor collaboration of the sexy screen legend baring a bit of breast and bum exposure.

    Heather Graham A huge set of fully frontal nude 'caps from "Boogie Nights", by FinnCap.

    Bernadette Peters
    (1, 2)

    The Tony award winner and co-star of the comedy classic "The Jerk" showing some cleavage on Regis. Vidcaps by DAI.

    Beyoncé Knowles The Destiny's Child singer and co-star of "Goldmember" posing in a bikini top, by Jedilein.

    Maruschka Detmers
    (1, 2, 3)

    Full frontal and dorsal nudity by the Dutch actress in scenes from "Te quiero" (2000).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    She Got Legs, But She Don't Get To Use Them - According to an Open University study of 10,000 people born in the UK in 1958, men prefer shorter women. Women between 4-foot-9 and 5-foot-2 were more likely to be married and have kids by age 42 than taller women. The study also found that women prefer taller men. But researchers said they don't know any evolutionary reason why men would prefer small women, since they aren't more fertile than tall women and are more likely to die in childbirth.

  • Plus you NEVER see them in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
  • It's because on a small woman, the breasts look much bigger proportionately.
  • Maybe it's because women with shorter legs are easier to catch.
  • The tall women who had gotten married had all married Tom Cruise and been divorced by him before they hit 42.

    Toasting The King
    New Zealand artist Maurice Bennett, who creates giant portraits such as a copy of the Mona Lisa out of slices of toast cooked to various shades of brown, has made a toast portrait of Elvis. It took him two months and required over 4,000 pieces of toast.

  • All stuck to a sheet of black velvet with peanut butter.
  • To honor Elvis properly, he should have used buttered toast.
  • Click here to see the King

    Crossing Over The Threshold Of Insanity
    The British gossip website claims that Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley held a pre-engagement seance to get Elvis' blessing, and he reportedly okayed their marriage.

  • And Nicolas Cage said, "Thankya. Thankyavurrymuch."
  • Elvis didn't care who his baby girl married, as long as he was an Elvis impersonator.
  • The spirit channeler even sounded like Elvis, and what are the odds of THAT?!
  • She tried to get Elvis' blessing on her marriage to Michael Jackson, but he was too busy spinning in his grave to leave it.

    Her Bust Is 55-Plus - Ratings for the second episode of "The Anna Nicole Show" dropped by 25 percent from the premiere, but industry analysts said young people stayed tuned while the fall-off was mostly among the undesirable 55-plus demographic.

  • All those out-of-it old people who still remember obsolete concepts like "taste."
  • But it's the elderly who have the most disposable income! Just ask Anna Nicole!

    Tuesday, Israel's Intelligence Chief announced that they have estimated Yasser Arafat's personal assets at $1.3 billion

  • It's mostly stocks and bombs
  • Wow! Terrorism pays better than being the CEO of WorldCom!
  • And yet he never seems to change his clothes. And he apparently doesn't even own a toothbrush.

  • Celeb News
  • Supposedly this is a genuine image of Angelina Jolie with her adopted baby sporting a mohawk.