Holy Smoke was reviewed
by Scoopy on July 9th of this year in his usual
thorough fashion. I agree with most of what he
said. It was a very bad film. The plot was full
of holes, the acting was poor, the photography
was dark, and the attempts at humor fell flat.
Where I disagree is on his interpretation of the
film, and the reasons for the defects. I also
found a very few things to like about it.
Scoopy suggested that this was supposed to be
a satire. Knowing that this was a bad film, I had
low expectations, which allowed me to be as alert
at the end as at the beginning. At the end of the
film, a sunbaked Keitel is laying on the desert
sand and sees Winslet as a six-armed Hindu
Goddess in the distance. Incidently, one of the
good things about the film was some computer
generated artistic effects, and this was one of
them. See the top of each image, and extra 1.
Then there is an exchange of mail. Kate is back
in India, has taken her mother, and is
enlightened, or seeking enlightenment. She also
comments that there was something real between
them. He responds that, after she left, Pam
Anderson forgave him, took him back, and he had
twins and was working on his second book. He also
hinted that he would leave it all for Winslet.
Based on this rather flimsy evidence, I think the
film asks us to examine why cults that we are not
members of (like Winslet's Baba cult) are more
wrong than cults we are members of (like
Christianity). In fact, Winslet deprograms
Keitel, and they are both better for it. It is my
feeling that the humorous moments are there for
comic relief, and do not indicate a satire. While
most of the humor didn't work for me, I did like
using a live sheep for a coffee table, and Keitel
in drag is a hoot (see Extra 2). Of course, I may
be giving the author too much credit. I still
don't understand the sequence of Kate's seduction
of Keitel. She walks up to him stark naked and
asks him to Kiss her. He refuses. Then she pees
down her leg, and he suddenly can't resist her.
Scoopy also commented that the dark images
were probably a result of the transfer. I don't
think so. Many of the scenes are back-lit, some
with available light, such as sunlight through a
window. This resulted in too much contrast
between the lightest light and the darkest dark,
which oversaturated the image in the light areas.
The only way to solve this was to darken
everything. Which brings me to another thing I
found to like -- they attempted a lot of
innovation in the photography and had some nice
set design. Some of the photography worked (see
extras 3 and 4 for examples).
Winslet to Keitel: "I didn't go to Baba
to get my fuckedness fixed."
Winslet to Keitel: "What do you like abut
me? Do you like my personality or my breasts
Keitel to Yvonne (Kate's Sister): "Your
Just what a trained psychologist would say to a
woman having a panic attack.
Keitel to Yvonne: "Keep breathing."
as he inserts his Johnson into her mouth to cure
her panic attack."
This brings me to another high point. Yvonne
sprays her pits then her pubes with a can of
either hair spray or deodorant. I suspect
deodorant, since her pits are shaved.
There must be something in the Australian
catering food that causes instant weight gain. If
you recall, all of the women in Sirens were well
above their fighting weights, and Kate was more
than ample here. For those who just have to see a
jumboized naked Kate in motion, go to 1:03:53 and
watch for 4 minutes. For the rest, I am saving
you the pain with these images.
Kate Winslet (1,
Sophie Lee (1,
Gore Gore Girls" (1972)
Hershal Gordon Lewis's final film of 36, The
Gore Gore Girls (1972) is not one of his best.
Strippers are being killed at an alarming rate,
and a magazine hires a famous detective to solve
the crime so they can have an exclusive story.
Henny Youngman plays a sleazy strip club owner. I
found the late 60's strip club atmosphere
interesting, and enjoyed the Women's Lib attack
on the strippers on stage as well, but this is
more gore than story, and all of the acting is
almost slapstick. It also doesn't have the great
characters of his other films. It has been
criticized as having too much gore, and as being
mean-spirited and misogynistic. Still, it is
important to the history of exploitation cinema.
The Gore Gore Girls was a pun on Go-Go girls,
which were popular at the time.
All of the exposure is from unknown actresses.
Farrell Unknown (1,
|WhyScan's Page Three
|If Page Three is unfamiliar to
link describes the Page Three tradition.
|Today's Page 3 girl....Jo, 21,
from Leicestershire. (1, 2, 3, 4)
Alison Morse from Maxim (1,
Cat Deeley from Maxim (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Melanie Sykes from Maxim (1,
Dannii Minogue from Maxim (1,
Billie Piper from Maxim (1,
Ali Landry from Maxim (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Amanda Holden from FHM (1,
Donna Air from FHM (1, 2, 3, 4)
Kelly Brook from FHM (1,
Lene Nystrom from FHM (1,
one more of Posh Spice
||Completely gratuitous nudity
from the latest episode of "Sex and the
City". I caught this episode myslef, and
there was absolutely no reason for this scene
other than for SJP to get soaking wet and show us
her nipples. Thank you HBO!
|From E! Swimsuit 2000
|Tylene Buck a.k.a "Major
|From WCW New Blood. #2 features
|Stacy Keibler a.k.a. "Miss
|From WCW New Blood. #2 also
features Mud Rasslin'!
Carter a.k.a. "The Kat"
Mates" is a TNT original movie that aired on
Sunday. In these 'caps we have an excellent butt
shot. It is supposed to be Teri's posterior,
however...all signs point to body double. Anyone
have any ideas?
|'New to me' topless vidcaps of
Susan playing with with her breasts, from 1978's
|#1 and #2 are both excellent
topless scans of the Italian actress. #3 and #4
are topless paparazzi pics.
||Topless vidcaps from "Magic
||Topless 'caps of the German actress from
||Mostly nekkid from Maxim UK.
||Full frontal, and then some. 'Caps by UC99
|The Funnies by Number 6
|The Other, Other Testament
In The Beginning, God created the Heaven and
the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and
void, And darkness was upon the face of the deep.
And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any
better than this."
And so God created Man in His own image; Male
and female He created them.
And God looked upon Man and Woman And saw that
they were lean and fit. And God populated the
earth With broccoli and cauliflower and spinach
And green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, So
Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And so the Devil created McDonald's. And
McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double
cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man,
"You want fries with that?" And Man
said, "Super size them." And Man gained
And so God created the healthful yogurt, That
Woman might keep her figure But the Devil brought
forth chocolate. And Woman gained five pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh
salad." And the Devil brought forth Ben and
Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.
And God said, "Why doth thou eatest thus?
"I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables
And olive oil with which to cook them."
But the Devil brought forth chicken fried
steak So big it needed its own platter. And Man
gained 10 pounds And his bad cholesterol went
through the roof.
And so God brought forth running shoes. And
Man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And the
Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control
So Man would not have to toil to change channels
between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20
And so God brought forth the potato, A
vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with
nutrition. And the Devil peeled off the healthful
skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and
deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour
And Man clutched his remote control And ate
the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And the
Devil saw and said, "It is good." And
Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass
surgery. And the Devil cancelled Man's health
So God showed Woman how to peel the skin off
chicken And cook the nourishing whole grain brown
And the Devil created light beer Man could
poison his body, While feeling righteous because
he had to drink twice as much of the now-insipid
brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another
And Woman ventured forth Into the land of
Godiva chocolate, And upon returning asked Man,
"Do I look fat?"
And the Devil said, "Always tell the
truth." And Man did.
And Woman went out from the presence of Man
And dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, East
of the marriage counselor
And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any
better than this."