"Holy Smoke"

Holy Smoke was reviewed by Scoopy on July 9th of this year in his usual thorough fashion. I agree with most of what he said. It was a very bad film. The plot was full of holes, the acting was poor, the photography was dark, and the attempts at humor fell flat. Where I disagree is on his interpretation of the film, and the reasons for the defects. I also found a very few things to like about it.

Scoopy suggested that this was supposed to be a satire. Knowing that this was a bad film, I had low expectations, which allowed me to be as alert at the end as at the beginning. At the end of the film, a sunbaked Keitel is laying on the desert sand and sees Winslet as a six-armed Hindu Goddess in the distance. Incidently, one of the good things about the film was some computer generated artistic effects, and this was one of them. See the top of each image, and extra 1. Then there is an exchange of mail. Kate is back in India, has taken her mother, and is enlightened, or seeking enlightenment. She also comments that there was something real between them. He responds that, after she left, Pam Anderson forgave him, took him back, and he had twins and was working on his second book. He also hinted that he would leave it all for Winslet. Based on this rather flimsy evidence, I think the film asks us to examine why cults that we are not members of (like Winslet's Baba cult) are more wrong than cults we are members of (like Christianity). In fact, Winslet deprograms Keitel, and they are both better for it. It is my feeling that the humorous moments are there for comic relief, and do not indicate a satire. While most of the humor didn't work for me, I did like using a live sheep for a coffee table, and Keitel in drag is a hoot (see Extra 2). Of course, I may be giving the author too much credit. I still don't understand the sequence of Kate's seduction of Keitel. She walks up to him stark naked and asks him to Kiss her. He refuses. Then she pees down her leg, and he suddenly can't resist her.

Scoopy also commented that the dark images were probably a result of the transfer. I don't think so. Many of the scenes are back-lit, some with available light, such as sunlight through a window. This resulted in too much contrast between the lightest light and the darkest dark, which oversaturated the image in the light areas. The only way to solve this was to darken everything. Which brings me to another thing I found to like -- they attempted a lot of innovation in the photography and had some nice set design. Some of the photography worked (see extras 3 and 4 for examples).

Memorable quotes:

Winslet to Keitel: "I didn't go to Baba to get my fuckedness fixed."

Winslet to Keitel: "What do you like abut me? Do you like my personality or my breasts best?"

Keitel to Yvonne (Kate's Sister): "Your Crazy."
Just what a trained psychologist would say to a woman having a panic attack.

Keitel to Yvonne: "Keep breathing." as he inserts his Johnson into her mouth to cure her panic attack."

This brings me to another high point. Yvonne sprays her pits then her pubes with a can of either hair spray or deodorant. I suspect deodorant, since her pits are shaved.

There must be something in the Australian catering food that causes instant weight gain. If you recall, all of the women in Sirens were well above their fighting weights, and Kate was more than ample here. For those who just have to see a jumboized naked Kate in motion, go to 1:03:53 and watch for 4 minutes. For the rest, I am saving you the pain with these images.


Kate Winslet (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12) Extra (1, 2, 3, 4) Sophie Lee (1, 2, 3, 4)

"The Gore Gore Girls" (1972)

Hershal Gordon Lewis's final film of 36, The Gore Gore Girls (1972) is not one of his best. Strippers are being killed at an alarming rate, and a magazine hires a famous detective to solve the crime so they can have an exclusive story. Henny Youngman plays a sleazy strip club owner. I found the late 60's strip club atmosphere interesting, and enjoyed the Women's Lib attack on the strippers on stage as well, but this is more gore than story, and all of the acting is almost slapstick. It also doesn't have the great characters of his other films. It has been criticized as having too much gore, and as being mean-spirited and misogynistic. Still, it is important to the history of exploitation cinema.

The Gore Gore Girls was a pun on Go-Go girls, which were popular at the time.

All of the exposure is from unknown actresses.


Amy Farrell Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

WhyScan's Page Three Report
If Page Three is unfamiliar to you, this link describes the Page Three tradition.
Today's Page 3 girl....Jo, 21, from Leicestershire. (1, 2, 3, 4)

Bonus Pics
Alison Morse from Maxim (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Cat Deeley from Maxim (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Melanie Sykes from Maxim (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Dannii Minogue from Maxim (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Billie Piper from Maxim (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Ali Landry from Maxim (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Amanda Holden from FHM (1, 2, 3, 4)

Donna Air from FHM (1, 2, 3, 4)

Kelly Brook from FHM (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Lene Nystrom from FHM (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

And one more of Posh Spice

Sarah Jessica Parker Completely gratuitous nudity from the latest episode of "Sex and the City". I caught this episode myslef, and there was absolutely no reason for this scene other than for SJP to get soaking wet and show us her nipples. Thank you HBO!
Daisy Fuentes
(1, 2)
From E! Swimsuit 2000
Tylene Buck a.k.a "Major Gunns"
(1, 2)
From WCW New Blood. #2 features Mud Rasslin'!
Stacy Keibler a.k.a. "Miss Hancock"
(1, 2)
From WCW New Blood. #2 also features Mud Rasslin'!
Stacy Carter a.k.a. "The Kat" WWF Smackdown
Stephanie McMahon WWF Smackdown
Torrie Wilson WCW Nitro
and ...
Teri Hatcher Today's mystery...."Running Mates" is a TNT original movie that aired on Sunday. In these 'caps we have an excellent butt shot. It is supposed to be Teri's posterior, however...all signs point to body double. Anyone have any ideas?
Susan Sarandon
(1, 2, 3)
'New to me' topless vidcaps of Susan playing with with her breasts, from 1978's "Pretty Baby".
Brigitta Boccoli
(1, 2, 3, 4)
#1 and #2 are both excellent topless scans of the Italian actress. #3 and #4 are topless paparazzi pics.
Parker Posey Topless vidcaps from "Magic Maggie".
Barbara Wussow Topless 'caps of the German actress from "Das Traumschiff".
Lisa Marie Mostly nekkid from Maxim UK.
Fabrizia Flanders Full frontal, and then some. 'Caps by UC99 from "Provocazione".
The Funnies by Number 6
The Other, Other Testament

In The Beginning, God created the Heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, And darkness was upon the face of the deep.

And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."

And so God created Man in His own image; Male and female He created them.

And God looked upon Man and Woman And saw that they were lean and fit. And God populated the earth With broccoli and cauliflower and spinach And green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, So Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And so the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man, "You want fries with that?" And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained five pounds.

And so God created the healthful yogurt, That Woman might keep her figure But the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained five pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.

And God said, "Why doth thou eatest thus? "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables And olive oil with which to cook them."

But the Devil brought forth chicken fried steak So big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds And his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And so God brought forth running shoes. And Man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control So Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.

And so God brought forth the potato, A vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip.

And Man clutched his remote control And ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. And the Devil cancelled Man's health insurance.

So God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken And cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice.

And the Devil created light beer Man could poison his body, While feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another 10 pounds.

And Woman ventured forth Into the land of Godiva chocolate, And upon returning asked Man, "Do I look fat?"

And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth." And Man did.

And Woman went out from the presence of Man And dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, East of the marriage counselor

And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."

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