"Love, Sex & Eating the Bones"

Love, Sex & Eating the Bones (2003) is a romantic comedy about a young wannabe photographer who is working as a security guard, and is addicted to porn as his main social outlet. He meets a perfect woman who is an executive in an add agency, but is a rather conservative woman. They fall in love, but he finds himself impotent in the face of a real woman. While they are black, there is nothing race specific about the story. It is a comedy at heart, but does deal with the subject of porn addiction.

The problem with the film for me was that these people were just too ordinary to hold my attention. The villain in the film was either porn star Marieka Weathered, or lead Marlyne Afflack's cousin and room mate Kai Soremekun, who tried her best to break the couple up. IMDb readers have it at 6.2 of 10. The film won three minor festival awards. It opened in 8 theaters in the US, and was down to 4 four weeks later. There were some comedic moments, and some interesting characters, but there was not enough meat in the plot to hold my interest. Both Afflack and Weatherhead show breasts. This is a C-. Those who adore romantic comedy might enjoy this.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Marieka Weatherer (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Marlyne Afflack (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    The Ranch (2004):

    I haven't seen this film, but I found these pics on the internet, and thought they were worth sharing. The babe is Jessica Collins, from the "Tru Calling" show. The movie is about life in a legal Nevada brothel.

    • Jessica Collins (1, 2, 3)


    Dream Lover (2004):

    I have talked about this many times. It has a slow-burn femme fatale plot, framed by dream sequences involving evil clowns. I guess you know that I award four stars to all evil clown movies, even more if the clowns are alcoholics.

    It's a mediocre movie, except for one thing -  Madchen Amick. She looks about as good as any woman has ever looked on film, and she did full frontal and rear nudity. I could probably sit through a Donald G Jackson film festival to see that.

    • Madchen Amick film clip. Not my clip - I converted a very large .mpeg file. The sound is kinda screwy, but the sparkling dialogue ain't the reason to watch this, Sparky! (.wmv format, zipped as usual)



    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.



    Shiloh continues to come up with some great clips we've never featured before.

    • Rachel Weisz is kinda out of the nudity game now, but here she is seen without her panties in "I Want You". ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip) .

    • Salma Blair, the poster child for petite and small-breasted actresses, has rarely done nudity, but she did two sex scenes in "Storytelling":. Here is the one with the young guy, in which you get to see her tiny cupcakes. I like them just fine. ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Some video clips today (divx avis -zipped)

    First up, two of Swedish born former heffer (May '93) Elke Jeinsen in Hellcats in High Heels 2.

    • Elke Jeinsen (1, 2)

    Next...the gals of "The Man Who Fell to Earth".

    Adrienne Larussa, Hilary Holland and Linda Hutton all play coeds bedded by their randy professor, played by Rip Torn. Adrienne would go on to do TV soaps; in clip 1 she grabs Rip's world and watches it turn.

    Hilary Holland and Adrienne Larussa do only these short clips, designed it seems to show how repetitive Rip's life had become. One naked coed after another. Ad infinitum.

    • Adrienne Larussa (1, 2)

    • Hilary Holland (1, 2)

    Linda Hutton plays Rip's first and kinkiest coed bedmate. She likes to take pictures of them doing the nasty.

    Last up is Candy Clark. First two clips are of her in the bathtub. and the last two are of her and David Bowie mating Texas style... with a six-shooter, pardner.

    • Candy Clark (1, 2, 3, 4)

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    This 1984 retelling of George Orwell's classic Sci-Fi is not just a drama, it's almost a documentary. Orwell imagined in 1948 what could happen, and guess what, it's starting to happen. He was a few years early, but he was right on target.

    This version, filmed in 1984 with some events actually filmed on the same dates used in the book, is better than the 1956 version, although maybe not perfect. The book itself is something every person on earth should read (if you can, while you still can). Even so, the movie is a pretty good effort that will (hopefully) make you think.

    It tells of a future (at the time of writing) society where everyone is controlled by the government, under constant surveillance, constantly brainwashed, not allowed free thought, and not allowed to fall in love. The country, Oceania, is at war against the "evil" Eurasia (until suddenly, Eurasia is an ally, and East Asia is now the evil enemy), so citizens are constantly implored to spy on and turn in their neighbors. When a man whose job is to rewrite history to match government propaganda falls in love, he finds out just how effective the government can be at keeping it's citizens in line.

    Whether or not you think the movie's events are similar to actual events, this movie is worth seeing just to put things into perspective, and also to see Richard Burton in his last movie. The book is a must-read as well. Better hurry, because remember what the book says: "Big Brother is watching".

    Anna Bergman Swedish actress (and daughter of Ingmar Bergman) playing a little nekkid pool in scenes from "Intimate Games" aka "Sex Games of the Very Rich" (1976).

    Alessandra Martines The Italian born actress topless and full frontal in scenes from the French movie "Tout ça... pour ça!" aka "All That... for This?!" (1993).

    Kylie Minogue Very brief breast views from the then 21 year old Aussie actress and pop-star in scenes from "The Delinquents" (1989).

    Toni Collette
    (1, 2, 3)

    Johnny Moronic 'caps of the Aussie actress topless in scenes from "Hotel Splendide" (2000). Yanks know her best of course as the mom from "The Sixth Sense".

    Catalina Larranaga
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the beautiful Skinemax babe going topless, showing rear views and some brief pubes (#14) in scenes from "Downward Angel" (2001).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    These Go To 11 - Former "Baywatch" babe Carmen Electra says she regrets getting implants that inflated her 32B breasts, which were "small but nice," to 36DD. She slammed her surgeons for letting her boost them to a "ridiculous size" because it was trendy at the time. She's considered having them removed, but only if her husband, rocker Dave Navarro agrees. She said, "He actually wants me to get 'em bigger, but I said no."

  • He said she could remove them, as long as he got them in the divorce.
  • When she had to run on the beach for "Baywatch," she'd give herself black eyes.
  • Carmen Electra's breast implants have brought her nothing but stares and discomfort and her entire career.

    Andrew Ridgely x 4 - People magazine reports that 'N Sync held a meeting recently to plan a new album, and Justin Timberlake told his old bandmates that he's not in the mood to record with them again and doesn't think it will work. People said they didn't take being dumped well and are not talking to Justin anymore.

  • They're out of sync.
  • They'd like to talk to him, but they can't get time off from Burger King.

    To The Designer: Nice Try, Buddy! - Members of Britain's Olympic female triathlon team got a rude surprise when they discovered that their new white Lycra swimsuits turned transparent in water. Seamstresses had to add "modesty patches" of extra Lycra in strategic places. Officials then had the women do a special "shower test" to make sure the problem was solved.

  • And to their extreme disappointment, it was.
  • Well, there go the TV ratings.
  • One good thing about the suits: they couldn't sneak a man onto the women's swim team.