"Love, Sex & Eating the Bones"
Love, Sex & Eating the Bones (2003) is a romantic comedy about a young wannabe photographer who is working as a security guard, and is addicted to porn as his main social outlet. He meets a perfect woman who is an executive in an add agency, but is a rather conservative woman. They fall in love, but he finds himself impotent in the face of a real woman. While they are black, there is nothing race specific about the story. It is a comedy at heart, but does deal with the subject of porn addiction.
The problem with the film for me was that these people were just too ordinary to hold my attention. The villain in the film was either porn star Marieka Weathered, or lead Marlyne Afflack's cousin and room mate Kai Soremekun, who tried her best to break the couple up. IMDb readers have it at 6.2 of 10. The film won three minor festival awards. It opened in 8 theaters in the US, and was down to 4 four weeks later. There were some comedic moments, and some interesting characters, but there was not enough meat in the plot to hold my interest. Both Afflack and Weatherhead show breasts. This is a C-. Those who adore romantic comedy might enjoy this.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
The Ranch (2004):
I haven't seen this film, but I found these pics on the internet,
and thought they were worth sharing. The babe is Jessica Collins,
from the "Tru Calling" show. The movie is about life in a legal
Dream Lover (2004):
I have talked about
this many times. It has a slow-burn femme fatale plot, framed by
dream sequences involving evil clowns. I guess you know that I award
four stars to all evil clown movies, even more if the clowns are
It's a mediocre movie, except for one thing - Madchen Amick.
She looks about as good as any woman has ever looked on film, and
she did full frontal and rear nudity. I could probably sit through a
Donald G Jackson film festival to see that.
Madchen Amick film clip. Not my clip - I converted a very large
.mpeg file. The sound is kinda screwy, but the sparkling dialogue
ain't the reason to watch this, Sparky! (.wmv format, zipped as
Weekly World News presents "Bloopers in the Bible".
A previously undiscovered natural river of beer has been found
deep in Germany's Black Forest, according to Weekly
World News, which further claims it is named the Krautlager River.
- Weekly World News:
ALIENS CLAIM JACKO IS THEIR SON. And they want him back!
Olympic athletes to get 130,000 condoms, 30,000 packs of lube
Rumours of William Hung's death have been greatly exaggerated.
Olympic mascots Phevos and Athena, siblings named for a pair of
Greek deities, are catching an ungodly amount of abuse around
Athens. The pair were derided in various news articles,
described as animated condoms and mutants from a nuclear meltdown"
- Olympic Report:
Dave Barry reports that Athens is just like Miami, except that
more people speak English.
A first look at the upcoming Stone-Parker comedy, Team America.
Many superheroes are gay.
- Are you surprised? Hey, these guys wear capes, tights, and
skin-tight Spandex. They work out all the time, are obsessed
with their bodies, and have teenage "wards".
- I have to admit that I'm a little out of touch with kid's
comics, so I was quite surprised to hear that Captain Cocksucker
turned out to be gay. I mean, since that is his real last name,
I thought it would be too much of a coincidence.
Kids Show - an extremely deranged version of Sesame Street
It looks like Yahoo, but I'm pretty sure it isn't
You have to check out this platform statement from the Republican
National Committee's website: : "The rule of law, the
very foundation for a free society, has been under assault, not
only by criminals from the ground up, but also from the top down.
An administration that lives by evasion, coverup, stonewalling,
and duplicity has given us a totally discredited Department of
Justice." ... Yes, I said that is from the Republican
website. Now THAT's the kind of honesty we need in politics!
GOP: KERRY WENT TO VIETNAM TO AVOID SERVING IN ALABAMA NATIONAL
GUARD Guard-dodging charges haunt campaign.
In the ad, a narrator asks, “When the Alabama National Guard
called young Americans to serve, where was John Kerry? Thousands
of miles away, hiding in Vietnam"
Italy to Honor De Niro With Citizenship. Some
Italian-Americans objected, protesting that DeNiro had done too
much in his career to associate Italians with criminals. "The
actor has projected a bad image with numerous roles as an Italian
thug". Hey, in "Once Upon a Time in America", he also played a
Jewish thug! Can he also get Israeli citizenship? Seriously,
DeNiro has played all kids of roles, some of them even better than
his famous ones. It is the public, not Bobby D, which has made the
Italian gangster films so popular. (And, c'mon, the movies they
are talking about were award-winning films directed by Coppola and
Scorsese. How many actors say "no way, dude" when Scorsese calls?)
Judge denies prosecution request for delay in Kobe Bryant trial.
Could it be that an American judge has actually read the
Constitution and is familiar with the sixth amendment? N-a-a-a-a-h!
It's probably a coincidence.
Miramax lays off 13 percent of its staff
The ever-annoying Dick Vitale makes his pre-season hoops picks,
baby. He's goin' Tar Heels, baby.
Craig Kilborn Signs Off
Religious groups say that FOX has gone too far with their latest
reality series, 'Who Wants to be the next Pope!'.
Allen Iverson has received $4500 in parking tickets since 2001;
always parks in handicapped spot. Hey, I saw the Sixers
play last year. He earned that handicapped spot.
Norwegian Navy gears up for war with Iceland. Not
surprisingly, they are fighting over herring.
Russian Olympians compete in eroticism. (Nekkid pics)
- Today I guess we understand why reviewers didn't get an
advance look at Alien vs Predator. There were no reviews
yesterday, but today
Alien vs. Predator scores an 8% positive at Rotten Tomatoes.
"Who is the big winner in Alien Vs. Predator? Everyone who
avoids going to see the film."
"Talk about knee-jerk reactions! When Demi Moore, 41, saw Star's
photo of her saggy knees in our July 19 'Celebrity Flaws' story,
she supposedly ran straight to her plastic surgeon." Or
The Straight Dope: Did Mahatma Gandhi sleep with 12 year old
virgins?. And if not, why not?
Charlize Theron Signs as the New Face of Dior Perfume
Gwyneth Paltrow has signed on to star alongside Mark Wahlberg,
Sandra Bullock and Sigourney Weaver in the Truman Capote biopic
EVERY WORD IS TRUE. Paltrow will star as singer Peggy
Lee. Bullock is author Harper Lee, and Wahlberg is multiple
murderer Perry Smith.
By now, you should have already learned how God expects women to
behave by taking "The Role of Women Bible Quiz". Find
out what God thinks of women and how He has designed their
The Amish Vote: President's Heartfelt Campaign Rally Remarks to
Undecided Swing-State Amishese
The trailer and four clips from Uncovered: The War on Iraq
Two new clips from Suspect Zero . starring Aaron Eckart
as an FBI agent on the trail of a man (Ben Kingsley) who may be a
serial killer, or a very thin Hindu religious leader.
Here's a third clip from Alien vs. Predator. The winner
will go on to challenge either Ecks or Sever.
Watch the first seven minutes of Without a Paddle online
P.T. Barnum's Lost Museum recreated on the internet
Jon Stewart's interview with Bill Clinton
TV Cooking Show Host Julia Child Dies at 91
PhotoStamps is an exciting new service that allows you to create
your own customized postage stamps. You can use
pictures of your wedding, your kids, your dogs, anything G-rated.
Urban Legends Reference Pages: facts about Friday the 13th.
The trailer for Undead. Five words tell you all you
need to know: "zombies hungry for human flesh"
Here is a new clip from Blade: Trinity. I'm not
impressed so far. It has some cool elements, but it's a fight
scene that looks so unrealistic that it had to be shown in a
gazillion short edits with lots of distracting loud music.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Shiloh continues to
come up with some great clips we've never featured before.
Rachel Weisz is kinda
out of the nudity game now, but here she is seen without her panties
in "I Want You". ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip) .
Salma Blair, the poster
child for petite and small-breasted actresses, has rarely done
nudity, but she did two sex scenes in "Storytelling":. Here is the
one with the young guy, in which you get to see her tiny cupcakes. I
like them just fine. ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Some video clips today (divx avis -zipped)
First up, two of Swedish born former heffer (May '93) Elke Jeinsen in Hellcats in High Heels 2.
Next...the gals of "The Man Who Fell to Earth".
Adrienne Larussa, Hilary Holland and Linda Hutton all
play coeds bedded by their randy professor, played by
Rip Torn. Adrienne would go on to do TV soaps; in
clip 1 she grabs Rip's world and watches it turn.
Hilary Holland and Adrienne Larussa do only these
short clips, designed it seems to show how repetitive
Rip's life had become. One naked coed after another.
- Adrienne Larussa
- Hilary Holland
Linda Hutton plays Rip's first and kinkiest coed
bedmate. She likes to take pictures of them doing the
Last up is Candy Clark. First two clips are of her in
the bathtub. and the last two are of her and David Bowie mating
Texas style... with a six-shooter, pardner.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
This 1984 retelling of George Orwell's classic Sci-Fi is not just a drama, it's almost a documentary. Orwell imagined in 1948 what could happen, and guess what, it's starting to happen. He was a few years early, but he was right on target.
This version, filmed in 1984 with some events actually filmed on the same dates used in the book, is better than the 1956 version, although maybe not perfect. The book itself is something every person on earth should read (if you can, while you still can). Even so, the movie is a pretty good effort that will (hopefully) make you think.
It tells of a future (at the time of writing) society where everyone is controlled by the government, under constant surveillance, constantly brainwashed, not allowed free thought, and not allowed to fall in love. The country, Oceania, is at war against the "evil" Eurasia (until suddenly, Eurasia is an ally, and East Asia is now the evil enemy), so citizens are constantly implored to spy on and turn in their neighbors. When a man whose job is to rewrite history to match government propaganda falls in love, he finds out just how effective the government can be at keeping it's citizens in line.
Whether or not you think the movie's events are similar to actual events, this movie is worth seeing just to put things into perspective, and also to see Richard Burton in his last movie. The book is a must-read as well. Better hurry, because remember what the book says: "Big Brother is watching".
||Swedish actress (and daughter of Ingmar Bergman) playing a little nekkid pool in scenes from "Intimate Games" aka "Sex Games of the Very Rich" (1976).
||The Italian born actress topless and full frontal in scenes from the French movie "Tout ça... pour ça!" aka "All That... for This?!" (1993).
||Very brief breast views from the then 21 year old Aussie actress and pop-star in scenes from "The Delinquents" (1989).
|Johnny Moronic 'caps of the Aussie actress topless in scenes from "Hotel Splendide" (2000). Yanks know her best of course as the mom from "The Sixth Sense".
|Señor Skin 'caps of the beautiful Skinemax babe going topless, showing rear views and some brief pubes (#14) in scenes from "Downward Angel" (2001).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
CARMEN ELECTRA BEMOANS BREAST IMPLANTS
These Go To 11 - Former "Baywatch" babe Carmen Electra says she regrets
getting implants that inflated her 32B breasts, which were "small but
nice," to 36DD. She slammed her surgeons for letting her boost them to a
"ridiculous size" because it was trendy at the time. She's considered
having them removed, but only if her husband, rocker Dave Navarro agrees.
She said, "He actually wants me to get 'em bigger, but I said no."
He said she could remove them, as long as he got them in the divorce.
When she had to run on the beach for "Baywatch," she'd give herself
Carmen Electra's breast implants have brought her nothing but stares and
discomfort and her entire career.
JUSTIN DUMPS 'N SYNC
Andrew Ridgely x 4 - People magazine reports that 'N Sync held a meeting
recently to plan a new album, and Justin Timberlake told his old bandmates
that he's not in the mood to record with them again and doesn't think it
will work. People said they didn't take being dumped well and are not
talking to Justin anymore.
They're out of sync.
They'd like to talk to him, but they can't get time off from Burger
TRANSPARENT OLYMPIC SWIMSUITS FIXED
To The Designer: Nice Try, Buddy! - Members of Britain's Olympic female
triathlon team got a rude surprise when they discovered that their new
white Lycra swimsuits turned transparent in water. Seamstresses had to add
"modesty patches" of extra Lycra in strategic places. Officials then had
the women do a special "shower test" to make sure the problem was solved.
And to their extreme disappointment, it was.
Well, there go the TV ratings.
One good thing about the suits: they couldn't sneak a man onto the
women's swim team.