Contact junior by writing Contact Scoopy by writing Contact Tuna by writing Send submissions to

Search by keywords:
In Association with
Use this search device to seek additional information from about any of the books or movies you read about here.

To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.


Stakeout (1987), as Scoop said last week, starts like a super-violent cop movie, transitions into a romantic comedy, then ends as a hard action film, yet this split personality works. One of the reasons is detailed character development. Even facets of the characters that don't advance the plot are added, but added in a humorous and entertaining way. Nothing more for me to add to what Scoop already mentioned, other than a picturesque Seattle backdrop.

As you recall, we see buns and one breast from Madeleine Stowe. I agree completely with Scoop. It won't be on anybodies top 100 list, but is solid entertainment. C+.

  • Thumbnails

  • Madeleine Stowe (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    "Les Deux orphelines vampires"

    Les Deux orphelines vampires (1997) marks the return of Jean Rollin to film making, after a semi-retirement due partly to lack of an audience, and partly to failing health. In fact, he had to undergo dialysis every other day while shooting this one. It is based on is own novel of the same name, which means The Two Orphan Vampires, and is an updated version of his classic material, in that he is striving for Surrealism, puts naked women in unexpected places, and has a leisurely pace and little real action. In a lengthy interview on the DVD (which was more interesting to me than the film), he explains that his mother was really into Surrealism, and he was raised with it. As to why he picked vampires to focus on, he points out that they are the only classic movie monster that seduces rather than frightens and overpowers. He went on to explain that he originally didn't intend to include nudity in these films, but producers demanded it, fearing that there would be no market at all for a French horror film, but, as a Grade B soft core, they might turn a profit.

    Two supposedly 14 year old orphans are living in an orphanage, and everyone thinks they are blind. This is true during the day, but, at night, they can see. The two characters are developed in such a way as to make them totally non-threatening, even though they do drink blood and kill people. They are adopted by an ophthalmologist, who takes them to his home in Paris, hoping to cure them. They continue to sneak out at night for adventure. Among the characters they meet are a Wolf Woman (Nathalie Karsenty , who shows breasts) and a ghoul. The two orphans, played by newcomers Alexandra Pic and Isabelle Teboul, also show breasts in one dark scene. After no end of problems, they end up back at the orphanage before the conclusion.

    IMDB readers have this at 6.2 of 10, but with very few votes. For me, the strength of Rollin's work has always been imagery and this one didn't deliver. Other than frequent graveyard scenes, the locations weren't nearly as interesting as in most of his films, and he seems to have lost the secret of lighting night scenes. It is possible that part of the problem was the transfer, which was noisy and undersaturated. While I am very pleased that Rollin is again making films, this is not one of his better ones. C-.

  • Thumbnails

  • Alexandra Pic (1, 2, 3)
  • Issabelle Teboul (1, 2, 3)
  • Pic and Teboul
  • Nathalie Karsenty

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Iris is the film about author Iris Murdoch's descent into Alzheimer's. If you care to read about it, I wrote a lengthy review, although it's more about my mom than about the movie:



    There are new volumes for Nancy O'Brien, Lena Olin, Erin O'Connor, Amanda Ooms, Julia Ormond, Catherine Oxenberg, and Carré Otis. The Shauna O'Brien volume is updated. 

    Nancy O'Brien is a pretty, sexy Skinemax actress who has more aliases than Carlos the Jackal. She is Nancy and Brenda O'Brien, Nancy and Brenda O'Neil, Cynthia Boyd and, surprisingly enough,  Ethan Hawke.

    Otis has to be one of the most resilient women in showbiz history. She started out as a fresh-faced girl whose lack of acting ability didn't prevent her from landing the lead in Wild Orchid. Years of debauchery, Mickey Rourke, drugs, tattoos, and overeating managed to end both her modeling and acting careers, but now, somehow, she's back in shape, modeling again, Rourke-free, looking exceptionally good for her age except for the tats.

    Oxenberg - what is the deal on her? Kept her clothes on until she was nearly 40, now taking them off regularly. She looks tremendous now, imagine how good she must have looked at 25.

    Ormond, now somewhat prissy and modest in demeanor, started off her screen nudity with a bang, in a wild stark-naked-from-every-angle romp with Ralph Fiennes and a wild beast in a film from the arthouse king, Peter Greenaway, whose work I love and hate in equal measure.


    Other crap

    • Here's the Anna Kournikova layout from FHM. No nudity, of course, but it's Anna in bikinis and open shirts, and she looks fine.
    • Maxim counters with Lucy Liu
    • Nice article with nude pics on Chesty Morgan and Doris Wishman
    • Movie Juice does a satirical review of XXX
    • The 100 funniest jokes of all time, as per GQ
    • I love Weekly World News - watching Love Boat reruns can add 20 points to your IQ
    • Michael Kelly discusses the meaning of "full disclosure"
    • You have to love satellite imagery - here's one of the plants Saddam doesn't want the UN to inspect. According to Iraqi sources, it is a very well secured facility for the manufacture of baby food, the fortifications necessary to prevent the formula from being stolen or poisoned by the evil Kurds. Don't laugh. Saddam will actually say that within a week.
    • Top 10 things Yoda says during sex. We ran this years ago, but I still like it.
    • Jude Law has managed to ruin all of my Pink Kryptonite jokes for the next five years by turning down the Superman role. The studio has turned to Josh Hartnett next.
    • From my mailbox "Jessie Jackson has added former Chicago Democratic Congressman Mel Reynolds to the Rainbow/PUSH Coalition's payroll. Reynolds was among the 176 people pardoned in President Clinton's last minute flurry of forgiveness. Reynolds received a commutation of his six-and-half-year federal sentence for 15 convictions of wire fraud, bank fraud and lies to the Federal Election Commission. He is more notorious, however, for concurrently serving five years for sleeping with an underage campaign volunteer. This may represent a first in American politics: An ex-congressman who had sex with a subordinate, won clemency from a president who had sex with a subordinate, then was hired by a clergyman who also had sex with a subordinate. His new job? Youth Counselor! Is this a great country or what?" Why do you think Yakov Smirnoff loves it so much? As Yakov would say -"in America, you cut the cheese a lot, but that's better than in Soviet Russia, where the cheese cuts you.".


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    PETScan and I went through the May 92 issue of the Guccimag and found treasure. PET scanned in the monthly pics of Jasmine... who would become B-movie bim Kimberly Kelley a year later. These were pretty tame by the magazine's standards, and they have the remnants of a technique used in those days, namely the smearing of the camera lens with something gooey. We can only guess. Idea was to make the pics artsy-fartsy; result was to make them hard on the eyes. Have seen more explicit pics of Kimberly/Jasmine on usenet, but those must be from the Guccimag's website.

    • Jasmine aka Kimberly Kelley (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    When PET was done, I scanned in some other stuff, including an advertisement that used a Julie Strain pic.

    And then, who woulda guessed, a picture of Sheila McCrae, accompanying an article written by her. Nice cleavage for this 50's babe.

    Even more. Am also sending in one of about a dozen scans of a girl-girl pictorial entitled Heather and Denise. Heather, the gorgeous redhead (ahh, but I repeat myself), is pornstar Veronica Doll. And that's not all! There's a whole 'nuther pictorial of a famous babe that I am saving for later. As I said: treasure.

    Oh, crimony, I almost forgot some more of what was in the mag. Another scan of the kick-ass Monique Parent boy-girl pictorial, part of which I sent in a couple weeks ago. By far the most explicit stuff that Monique has done in front of the camera. In fact, hard to imagine anything more explicit she's done off camera. In this scan, Monique's boyfriend helps us get a good look at her goodies. Our thanks, whoever you are.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today we are still with "Animal Attractions" as I could not resist these caps of Stephanee Lafleur changing her top while seated in a car (sexy). Then it's on to Ahmo Hight in another sexy scene of her seducing the pizza delivery guy. Some people think she bears a resemblance to Sarah Jessica Parker, of course Sarah doesn't show what Ahmo will.

    • Ahmo Hight (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Stephanee LaFleur (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Anne Heche Serious pokies from "Six Days, Seven Nights".

    Annika Pages Topless in scenes from "Man(n) sucht Frau" (1995).

    Diana Frank
    (1, 2, 3)

    Full frontal, rear views and some regular toplessness in scenes from the vampire movie "Dead of Night" (1996).

    Gruschenka Stevens Topless and tied up (Hankster would approve) in scenes from the German movie "Der Kalte Finger" (1996).

    Natasha Gregson Wagner Topless and upskirt views from "Another Day in Paradise" (1998).

    Shannon Tweed Former HEFfer and long time Skinemax queen going topless in "Vegas Vice".

    Shannon Tweed Tweed topless again, this time in scenes from "Victim of Desire".

    Rosanna Arquette Topless in a bubble bath scene from "Trading Favors" aka "Do Me a Favor" (1997).

    Francesca Dellera The Italian actress is topless and shows a little more in scenes from "La Carne" (1991).

    Rebecca Romijn-Stamos A fantastic desktop wallpaper image by IMF of Rebecca in a chain mail bikini from a SI swimsuit issue.

    Lise Danvers
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Topless and close up bush views in scenes from "Contes immoraux" aka "Immoral Tales" (1974), by FinnCap.

    Sophie Marceau
    (1, 2)

    Frontal nudity from the French actress in scenes from "Par-delà les nuages", also by FinnCap.

    Catherine Zeta-Jones A paparazzi pic with lots of leg.

    Brooke Shields Wearing a very see-thru dress while out on the town.

    Mail Bag
    Hey Scoopy,

    Hilary Swank has a nice see-through in the August issue of Esquire have you seen any scans yet?