"The Postman Always Rings Twice"
The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981) is the second attempt to bring the depression era classic novel by James M. Caine to the silver screen. The first, in 1946, was made during a pro censorship pendulum swing, making it impossible to do justice to the novel. For this reason, the director doesn't think of this as a remake, but rather as a proper interpretation. I, for one, agree. Jessica Lange plays the waitress/cook/wife of a much older Greek restaurant and filling station owner, and is trapped in a passionless marriage. Jack Nicholson is a drifter and petty swindler who wanders through to con them out of a free meal. The Greek owner sees him as a mechanic for his station, and, when Jack sees Jessica, he agrees to the job.
It isn't long before Jack and Jessica both find exactly what they want in a heated sexual encounter on the kitchen table. There are a few problems with the romance. First, there is the matter of a husband. Second, Nicholson isn't really the husband type. After several abortive attempts to run off together, Nicholson and Lange plot to kill her husband. There are many twists and turns from there.
Maltin hates this film, at 1 1/2 stars. He does admit that the violent sex between Nicholson and Lange is very hot, and that seems to be one of his objections. I enjoyed this film at lot. It was beautifully photographed, and the performances were uniformly excellent. The chemistry was good between Nicholson and Lange, and Anjelica Huston plays a small role as a lion tamer whom Nicholson sleeps with.
Huston shows her left breast and nipple from the side. Lange shows only see through and pokies, but her sex scenes ignite the screen anyway. IMDb readers have this at 6.3 of 10. This is more of a character driven drama than anything else. Using that as a genre, I give it a C+.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
- "Dog bites man" department.
Griffey done for the season with torn hamstring.
The Straight Dope: Who was the stupidest U.S. president?
You may not realize that Dubya scored in the 88th percentile on
his SAT's (he scored 566, 640, which is equal to 640, 640 by the
current scoring scale), and is not even close to being a candidate
for this dishonor. The prime contenders in the 20th century would
be Harry Truman, Warren Harding, and Ronald Reagan. Possibly JFK.
Kennedy was no whiz-kid, his 119 IQ lower than Dubya's estimated
129. ( Bush's score can be inferred from his SATs.
See this link for the conversion chart from pre-1974
SAT scores to IQ. Dubya's actual SAT score was 1206.)
Kerry Denies He Had Sex With Olsen Twins
Here's a bigger version of one of those those Charlotte Church
British Goverment orders parody web site removed! (So
the Guardian kindly reprints it)
- For your specialized porn needs:
1418 sexual fantasies about Tonya Harding.
- POWER POKER, Part 4:
Sam's girlfriend said it best: "don't ever call"
MTV's sequel to Pimp My Ride - Pimp My Bride
You Can't Be Serious! McEnroe's TV show hits a Perfect Zero rating
- twice. Double fault.
- This week's movies:
Danny Deckchair (limited release) - 50% positive reviews.:
"The limp movie seems to be an attempt by an Australian to mimic a
bad American romantic comedy, and, unfortunately, he succeeds
A few more stills from Scorsese's The Aviator, a Howard Hughes
biopic starring Leo DiCaprio
MovieGoods says their Jessica Alba poster from Sin City is one of
their hottest items (Click to enlarge)
- This week's movies:
Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement - 27% good reviews.
"It's impossible to describe the sheer awfulness of The Princess
Diaries 2: Royal Engagement, Garry Marshall's sequel to his 2001
fairy tale in which simpering Bay Area teen Anne Hathaway learned
she was heir to the throne of the minuscule European nation of
FilmJerk.com - early pre-release review of ''Danny Deckchair''
How much do you remember from school? Quick quiz, ten questions,
Method Man and prime time--is one of Hollywood's unhappiest
marriages about to end?
Two new clips from Yu-Gi-Oh!, the movie.
Four new clips from The Motorcycle Diaries
Two racy R-rated international trailers for Novo : "A
man suffering from Memento-style memory loss finds himself
entering into a racy sexual relationship... every day."
Here's the trailer for a French film called Red Lights.
It's a summer holiday weekend in Paris. Antoine, a timid
insurance salesman, and his lawyer wife Hélène are off to the
south of France to pick up their children from camp. En route he
drinks and their bickering slowly escalates. Finally, Hélène has
had enough, and at a roadside tavern, while Antoine throws back
another whiskey, she leaves him and heads for the train. He dashes
to the train station to try to meet her but is too late. Darkness
has fallen and, left alone to continue the journey, Antoine picks
up a strange hitchhiker, not knowing the stranger might have
already crossed paths with his soon-to-be-missing wife...
Here's the trailer for Ice Cube's new comedy, Are We There Yet?
Here's a behind-the-scenes look at Sky Captain and the World of
New film tells story of South African Andre Stander, a police
inspector who investigated his own crimes.
America's Most Trusted Voice speaks out on The War on Drugs
GREEK SECURITY TEAM FAILS TO NOTICE GIANT HORSE.
Mysterious Wooden Structure Causing Pre-Olympic Jitters
The Daily Show looks at the Swift Boat vets and their anti-Kerry
campaign. (Includes a funny parody of Ken Burns's Civil
The Daily Show looks at the candidates' "buddy" campaigns in
America's sticks. Kerry throws a few cow patties, and
Barney licks Dubya's crappy. Just as we will always think of
Theodore Roosevelt as The Big Game President, we will always think
of President Bush as The Crappy President.
GQ chooses Andre 3000 as "World's Best-Dressed Man" by
a narrow margin over that guy who plays Tony Soprano.
Photographer sues Aguilera after being punched by bodyguard.
As it turns out, oddly enough, Aguilera employs Mike Wallace as
her bodyguard, and he just can't keep those flying fists under
NYC Mayor to Probe Arrest of Mike "the Manhattan Mauler" Wallace
Prosecution asks for postponement of troubled Kobe Bryant criminal
case. Legal observers saw the move, coming a day after
Bryant's accuser filed a civil suit against him, as a first step
toward an inevitable shelving of the troubled case.
SPIDER-MAN star Kirsten Dunst has revealed how she indulged in
risky sex in public places with former boyfriend Jake Gyllenhaal.
Kate Moss and Jade Jagger cast aside past troubles and their tops
to sunbathe side-by-side in Ibiza. And The Sun is
there, of course.
You think YOU have a tough sales job. Imagine Ahmed al-Jobori, the
head of the Iraqi Tourism Board!
Mr-Ding-A-Ling is under arrest, as well as the rest of
Colin Farrell's body parts. No, just kidding. Colin has nothing to
do with this story. They've gone and arrested the ice cream man. I
guess when they send him to "the cooler", he'll feel right at
home. And the best news is that his roommate, Mike Wallace, will
come back from the slammer with some free ... um ... fudge treats.
The Straight Dope: Who created the term "rock 'n' roll" to
describe "white guy boogie"? The answer is either
singer Bill Haley (of the Comets) or DJ Alan Freed ... not sure
exactly which one came first.
Barbarella has been named as the sexiest sci-fi character in a
poll for Film Review magazine.
How many box office bombs is Jackie Chan allowed before Hollywood
pulls the plug?
Here is the entire famous surrealistic video made by painter
Salvatore Dali and filmmaker Luis Bunuel in the 1920s.
It is called the Andalucian Dog, although if you know anything
about those two guys, you know the title is not exactly a dead
giveaway of the contents. Weird stuff. Some amazing special
effects for 1929. (NOTE: the total size of the .mpg is 156 meg, so
don't try it without broadband. Even if you have broadband, you
probably want to right click and save to your hard drive.)
"Collateral" director Michael Mann and actor Leonardo DiCaprio
will collaborate on a drama about the great crime wave of 1933-34,
reports Variety. Universal Pictures has purchased
screen rights to Public Enemies, the best-selling book by
'Barbarians at the Gate' author Bryan Burrough. Don't laugh. Mann
is very talented, and DiCaprio has been underestimated all his
life. Those guys may just create a helluva movie.
NAME OF KOBE'S ACCUSER APPEARS ON BILLBOARDS ACROSS COUNTRY.
Judge to Accuser: "My Bad"
Feisty octogenarian "Battlin' Mike" Wallace - argues with and
lunges at an officer - and is carted off in handcuffs.
The scrappy newsman's next public appearance will reportedly be in
the ring as Mike Tysons's newest opponent. Tyson says he will also
fight another bout after that if Wallace doesn't hurt him too bad.
We have a Governator. Now it's time for a Benator. Oh,
well. Acting's loss is government's gain.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Daryl Hannah, fortyish,
but in tremendous shape to play a stripper in Dancing at the Blue
Iguana. Long clip ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip) .
Bridget Fonda, not
showing much in Touch, but hey, it's Bridget Fonda. Unfortunately,
there's too little of Bridget and way too much of Skeet Ulrich's
butt, as The Skeeter does his world-famous Johnny Depp impersonation
( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip)
Erika Eleniak gives up
the goods for Steven Seagal in Under Siege ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
First up from the Ghost, a few video clips from "Anarchy TV" (1997).
- Tamayo Otsuki...going topless and briefly showing the other 2 B's. (zipped .wmv)
- Jessica Hecht, Tamayo Otsuki (and a some dude) all go full frontal and do some nekkid TV aerobics. (zipped .wmvs)
Next up, scenes from one of those guilty pleasure b-movies that you just can't help but love...The way over the top 1991 movie "Stone Cold". This was Brian Bosworth's first movie, and Hollywood's one and only attempt to turn the then-popular NFL star into an action hero.
It died at the box office, it's been straight-to-vid only for the Boz since then. (although he will be co-starring in the upoming Adam Sandler remake of "The Longest Yard").
There are a ton of positive comments at IMDb, and I agree...as far as low-budget late 80's/early 90's action flicks go, this really isn't that bad of a movie. Lots of bullets, bikers and babes, plus some great co-stars. Lance Henriksen is simply too cool as the leader of the Biker Bad Guys, and Sam McMurray ("Drop Dead Gorgeous", "The Tracey Ullman Show", "Raising Arizona") delivers some comic relief as the bumbling FBI agent in charge of "handling" The Boz.
If you think of "Road House" as being on the A-list of so-bad it's good late 80's/early 90's action flicks, I think you'll find "Stone Cold" to be a B+
'Caps and comments by Mister Grundy:
FEARDOTCOM is a 2002 film with stunning visuals, but nothing really
scary... just like most horror movies. Homage was paid to the little girl
with bouncing ball that Fellini gave us in SPIRITS OF THE DEAD, who in turn
was inspired by "bouncing ball" imagery from Mario Bava... but at least
these little girls were spooky. The little girl in FEARDOTCOM is just a
little girl they dressed in a wig, with no sense of foreboding whatsoever.
This is a movie where it's very difficult to identify the lesser-known
actresses. I see from checking in the archives that my fellow Scoopers may
not have called some gals correctly. For example, the main victim of
Alistair Pratt (the mad doctor, as played by Stephen Rea) is identified in
the credits as either "victim" or "Alistair's Victim." Which to choose?
Regardless, this blond woman has either been misidentified in the archives
as either Astrid Skuyat or Evie Garratt or Gesine Cukrowski or Amelia
Curtis. (I figured I'd ought to mention these names, in case people run
searches in the future, trying to pin down which face belongs to the
breasts.) She is really Isabella Van Waes (according to someone who
listened to the DVD commentary; I only had the silly video), who was also
misidentified as the other victim seen bound and hanging for just an
instant. Anna Thalbach has also been misidentified for Emma Campbell.
This is a tough science, trying to figure out who's who... just to get
things right, I can spend too much time trying to see whether an unknown is
called by a name, hoping to cross-reference with the end credits.
- AMELIA CURTIS plays Denise Stone, a computer expert. She appears
semi-nude in her damsel in distress scene. Curtis appears to have
concentrated her career mostly in television; she did bare her wares in an
exercise entitled "South West 9" (2001), which I noticed in the archives.
- ISABELLE VAN WAES is a Flemish lass who is selected as a possible
"leading lady" by a creepy videographer, and she walks into a seemingly
abandoned warehouse. Her career in real life does not appear to have
proliferated after this screen debut, but unlike her disastrous film career
in the snuff movie within the movie, there's always tomorrow.
- ASSORTED. The nudies are Astrid Skuyat (probably) and Emma Campbell,
who has been captured more comprehensively elsewhere in this site.
Moving on to 1972's "THE WOMAN HUNTER", a TV-movie about an
emotionally troubled rich heiress who nobody believes, when she thinks
someone is trying to kill her. I probably have never seen a pat ending as
unbelievable as this flick presents. Of course there is no nudity, but Barbara Eden is made to appear glamorous, and does show off non-critical flesh. (I began to believe maybe they did not "censor" her belly button in "I Dream
of Jeannie," after all.) She also offers us a "wild" dance, the closest
thing we may get to see her in the way she moved in bed since she faced
those phallic snake things in 7 FACES OF DR. LAO.
- BARBARA EDEN
- NORMA STORCH. No nudity, but I thought she had a striking face. She was fifty at the time, and died of cancer a year ago. She was the better half
of Larry "F Troop" Storch, who has a cameo here as the life of the party;
he manages to break up the partygoers with the most unhilarious comments
imaginable. (But he does it well. Good old Larry.)
From THE WITCHES OF SAPPHO SALON (2001)... a Seduction Cinema offering that
actually has a kind of plot! Every thirty years, in order to stay young,
witches of a hair salon need to sacrifice virgins born on special dates.
It's no great shakes, but at least some effort went into this production.
The featured fillies mostly appear to be one-trick ponies, to date.
- ELINA BELLBROOK is the witch's accomplice, Bridget. She looks
- ELIZABETH GRACE is the sweet heroine, Janet. She kindly shows us
everything she's got. Ms. Grace manages to pull off somewhat of a
performance. She had a guest spot on 2002's "sexy" TV series, "Hotel
- BRIGITTE EVES plays the head witch Tanith in a not particularly dynamic
way. But at least she's not shy.
- UNKNOWNS. One of them is probably Layla Maxson.
As always, Mister Grundy invites you to visit his Yahoo Group,
Sick Sexy Sinema Shots.
||Dragonscan 'caps of Liv topless in scenes from the Bernardo Bertolucci movie, "Stealing Beauty" (1996).
||An excellent collage by DAI of the former MTV VJ going topless and showing a bit of a thong view in scenes from an episode of the critically acclaimed HBO series "Six Feet Under".
|Jennifer Love Hewitt
||I'm not sure where Squiddy found this, but it's an excellent scan of the "Garfield" star looking simply fantastic in a bikini top!
|Johnny Moronic 'caps of "The Ring" star in scenes from "21 Grams". Not only did Watts show off her wonderful toplessness, she also delivered an Oscar nominated performance.
|The paparazzi catch a breast falling out of Paris' shirt.
|Jade Jagger and Kate Moss
||The paparazzi strike again! Here are the two doing a little topless sunbathing.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the Spanish beauty topless in scenes from "El Otro lado de la cama" aka "The Other Side of the Bed" (2002).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
COLORIZED THREE STOOGES SPARK PROTESTS
Wise Guys, Eh?! - Columbia TriStar has reignited a controversy by releasing
two Three Stooges DVDs that include both black-and-white and digitally
colorized versions. Columbia claims young people won't watch
black-and-white films. But Roger Ebert called it "vandalism." And George
Lucas said it's possible the Stooges' dated humor is still funny because
black-and-white provides the context to let us appreciate it for what it
was. But putting the Stooges into modern-looking color might make them
And what do you get when you use digital effects to create an unfunny,
colored Stooge? Jar-Jar Binks.
Isn't George Lucas the guy who ruined the old "Star Wars" by inserting
new digital effects?
They could just colorize Curly...HE'D still be funny.
The color's bad enough, but did they have to use CGI to insert all that
FCC APPROVES DRY HUMPING
Hump Day News - The FCC rejected complaints from conservative groups that
the TV shows "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Will and Grace" are indecent.
For instance, a "Will and Grace" episode featured two women kissing and
rubbing against each other, which one called a "dry hump." The FCC ruled
that while they wouldn't say "dry hump" is always within broadcast
propriety standards, the women were clothed and there was no evidence that
the act was dwelled upon or used to pander, titillate or shock the
How about the fact that it was on "Will and Grace"?
It was only there because dry humping is an essential part of the plot
in every episode of "Will and Grace."
"CUDDLE PARTIES" THE LATEST RAGE
The FCC Says It's Okay - The latest party trend in New York is "Cuddle
parties." Participants pay $30 each to gather in their pajamas, lie down
and snuggle up to perfect strangers. Organizers say it's not about sex,
and there are strict rules, like Rule #7: "No dry humping!" One man said
he has trouble expressing emotions and cuddling with a stranger helps.
Others said it relieves stress, or is a better way of meeting people than
going to a bar, getting drunk and having sex, just to get a little
It's like that, only without the drinking and the sex, so it's much
Who knew there were so many men saying, "If only I could find a way to
cuddle with a woman without being forced to have sex!"
Men will pay $30 to cuddle with strange women, but with their own wives,
they roll over and go to sleep.
What if you can only express emotion by dry humping?
If being cuddled by a stranger is what you want, just ride the subway.