Tuesday

Tuna
"A Good Night to Die"

A Good Night to Die (2003) is one of those films Blockbuster acquired to release as Blockbuster exclusive rental only films. The idea didn't work, and they have been gradually releasing these B titles to the public. This one is a day in the life of two hit men, an older pro, and a kid that was trained by the old pro, and became a best friend. This is the sort of film that you can't say much about without giving too much away. Two women show breasts. The first is Tanja Schwedt, as a prostitute hired to help set up a senatorial hopeful for a hit. The second is Penelope Fortier, as former girlfriend of the older hit man, now with the younger.

IMDB readers say 5.3 of 10. The film was made largely with German money. The cast includes some names, such as Robin Givins, Ralph Machio, Ally Sheedy and Lainie Kazan. Although it was not an especially good film, with a disappointing plot, I have to say that it held my interest to the end. The use of radical camera techniques did not add to the effectiveness of the film. This one is barely watchable, so C-.

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  • Penelope Fortier (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Tanja Schwedt (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    UPDATES:

    • New volumes: Juliette Zabou, Ann Zacharias, Roxana Zal, Lisa Zane, Monica Zanchi, Victoria Zdrok, Lenore Zann, Bo Zena, Patricia Zentilli, Delphine Zentout, Mia Zottoli, Daphne Zuniga, Elsa Zylberstein, the miscellaneous Zs, the miscellaneous Ys, Cassie Yates, Kim Yeon, Amy Yip, Veronica Yip, Linda York, Karen Young, and an all-time Funhouse favorite, the immortal Pia Zadora.

     

    A history lesson:

    Most of you have seen this material before, but if you haven't it might be cool. These are taken from a history of sex in cinema called 24 Frames Per Second.

    1917- Theda Bara in Cleopatra

    1932 - Claudette Colbert in The Sign of the Cross

    others in The Sign of the Cross  (1, 2)

    1934 - body double in Tarzan and his Mate

    1936 - Carole Lombard in My Man Godfrey

    1957 - Sophia Loren in "Boy on a Dolphin"

    1962 - Marilyn Monroe in "Something's Got to Give"

    1967 - Patty Duke in "Valley of the Dolls"

    1969 - Natalie Wood in "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice"

    1969 - Raquel Welch in "100 Rifles" (1, 2)

    1987 - Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction"

    1999 - Chloe Sevigny "Boys Don't Cry"

    You may have noticed that there was some nudity in talkies shown in America in the early 30's, specifically 1932-34. In addition to the films shown above, there were the notorious scenes in King Kong (1933) and Ecstasy (1932). That was a brief period of leftover 1920s hedonism before the industry's universal adoption of the puritanical self-policing Hays Code in 1934 which, in conjunction with the Catholic Legion of Decency (also formed in 1934), came to dominate the content of filmed entertainment for decades. The movie industry virtually shut down all nudity in American films for three decades from 1935 until 1966, when the current MPAA rating system replaced the Hays Code. It is very difficult to find any nudity in mainstream American films made from 1935-1966. (Something's Got to Give was never released).

    One notable exception was 1964's The Pawnbroker, which was condemned by the Legion of Decency despite its high quality (an Oscar nomination), its very serious dramatic themes (the effects of the holocaust upon survivors), and the fact that the nudity was absolutely essential to the development of the story (the pawnbroker sees a naked prostitute and this stirs memories of his wife naked in a WW2 concentration camp. If we didn't see the nudity with our own eyes, we would not be able to see the connection he sees, or feel what he feels.)

    Elizabeth Taylor also showed her bum very briefly in 1963's Cleopatra. This time the nudity was completely gratuitous and was only there to sell tickets, and this time the Legion gave it a B - "objectionable", rather than the dreaded C - "condemned"!

     

    OTHER CRAP:

    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

     

     

    PIRATE COUNTDOWN:

    days left until International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept 19)

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Vanessa Ferlito, toplessness and thong views from the made for HBO movie "Undefeated" (playing on cable this month). Written, directed by and starring John Leguizamo.

    • Patricia Charbonneau, topless in a love scene from the 1988 movie "Call Me".

    • Maria Conchita Alonso, the Cuban-American actress going topless in scenes from "Caught" (1996).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

    Hankster
    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    It's another "Babe in Bondage" day for us as we take the old time machine back to 1982 and the movie "Parasite".

    The Babe is Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith tied topless in this very forgettable flick.

    • Cheryl "Rainbeaux" Smith (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Finn
    Barbara Crampton The long time B-movie favorite going topless (as usual) in scenes from the 80's classic "Re-Animator" (1985).

    Emmanuelle Béart The French actress goes full frontal in scenes from "La Belle noiseuse" (1991). She's best known to American audiences from her role in "Mission: Impossible".

    Jane Birkin The UK actress bares all in scenes from "Je t'aime, moi non plus" (1976).

    Mervi Takatalo Fully nude with clear breast views and partial views of the rest of the goods. Scenes from "Juulian totuudet" (2002).

    Flautista
    Alison Moir
    and
    Katherine Armstrong

    Both ladies look pretty good wearing bikini tops in scenes from "Blood Money" (1996).


    Calista Carradine
    Topless Unknown
    More Topless Unknows

    A lesser Carradine is topless and a lesser Stallone (Frank) is the biggest name in the cast...that can only mean that the movie "Total Force" (1997) must be a real stinker!


    Carole Bouquet The French actress and former Chanel Spokesmodel, topless in scenes from "Cet obscur objet du désir" (1977).

    Variety
    Kim Cattrall A new paparazzi pic of the "Sex and the City" star caught topless. Thanks to Watty.

    Nicole Kidman
    (1, 2, 3)

    No nudity but Kidman looks gorgeous in these fantastic collages featuring scenes from "Moulin Rouge". Thanks to ZonononZor.

    Diane Franklin
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17

    She'll always be Lane Myer's girlfriend to me....here is a great batch of 'caps by Señor Skin from the movie "Second Time Lucky" (1984) with Franklin topless and showing some rear nudity.

    "Gigli" News
    Over the weekend, "Gigli" dropped an astonishing 83 percent to bring in only $640,000, the worst second-week drop in history for a film produced by a major studio. A per-screen average of $288 + 2,215 screens = empty theaters during screenings!


    From IMDb news...

    J.Lo Ends Up on Cutting Room Floor
    The failure of Gigli has enabled director Kevin Smith to rejigger his upcoming Jersey Girl into the kind of movie he had originally conceived -- one that features Ben Affleck as a single father raising a young daughter, the New York Times reported today (Monday). Until unfavorable reviews of Gigli began to roll in, Smith had been prevailed upon to expand the role of the girl's mother, played by Jennifer Lopez, in order to take advantage of the publicity surrounding the Affleck-Lopez romance. Smith told the Times that he began trimming Lopez's scenes after Jersey Girl tested poorly with preview audiences. But, he said, Miramax co-chairman Harvey Weinstein "was always 'Let's leave as much of Jennifer in because we paid her $4 million for the movie.'" Her character now dies in the movie's first 15 minutes, the Times said.


    Actor Ben Affleck Defends 'Bad Movie' Gigli ....Hold on a second! Wasn't he just trashing it a few days ago?

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    ARNOLD MANIA HITS CALIFORNIA
    Voters Are Pumped - A new Gallup poll shows that if the election were held today, 64 percent of Californians would vote to dump Gov. Gray Davis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger would beat his nearest rival by 25 points. But there are a lot of rivals. 125 people have filed to run, with the late additions including former baseball Commissioner Peter Ueberroth, comic Don Novello (a.k.a. Father Guido Sarducci), someone named Bob Dole (but not the famous one), and Eric Schiffer, president of the 99 Cents Only store chain, who is also 99 years old.

  • Good thing for him the courts didn't delay the vote.
  • Oddly enough, Gray Davis has been GREAT for his business.
  • Now, CLAUDIA Schiffer, she might have a chance...
  • Bob Dole wishes Bob Dole wouldn't run under the name "Bob Dole."
  • They should forget the election and just do a reality show called "Who Wants To Be Governor for a Day?!"


    The site for our favorite candidate:
    www.marycareyforgovernor.com


    From Page Six...

    SPACEY SEXPOT
    PAIGE Davis, the perky host of TLC's hit home-decorating show "Trading Spaces," has embarrassed her bosses by showing too much skin in next week's TV Guide. Sources say after Davis agreed to be photographed swaddled in nothing but two strips of wallpaper, a TLC staffer called the magazine's photo department and asked them to run another shot, citing the no-nudity clause in Davis' TLC contract. Davis' personal publicist followed up with another phone call and said Davis' job could be on the line. But TV Guide was unswayed. The issue with the racy shot hits stands Aug. 16.