Saturday

 

* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

"Gettin' It" (2006)

Gettin' It (2006) is coming to DVD in an Unrated edition. Two women show breasts and buns, and there is an insert of body double breasts. I suspect this film could have earned an R. Silver (Patrick Censoplano) is still a virgin. He has a lovely girlfriend who is "not ready yet," and lives with his parents, a wannabe actor father and pushy mother, and has to help in their pizza restaurant. He thinks he is going to get lucky with his girlfriend, and buys condoms. The girlfriend runs, and breaks up with him, and the condoms prove to be enormous. His mother finds one, and assumes that he has a two foot pecker. When she leaks this fact in the beauty parlor, his dance card is suddenly full, and he finally loses his virginity to a Black Widow, who is rumored to have killed two husbands by fucking them to death. He, of course, has a best friend, who has been tutoring him and trying to get him laid.

Jessica Canseco shows breasts through a white top at the beach, in a fantasy sequence when she fetches the giant condoms from a top shelf on top of a ladder, and again roller skating down the street. Tara Rice shows breasts and buns trying to seduce Silver after closing at the pizza restaurant.

Will Silver tire of sex and refocus on his true love? Will the Black Widow screw him to death? Will any of the other local women get lucky? You will have to watch it to find out.

IMDb has this at 4.3m with nearly no US votes. As there are only 36 votes to date and no reviews, there is no telling how it will end up at this point. The DVD is full featured, with deleted scenes that provide more of the breast exposure seen in the finished film and a commentary track that mostly covers productions issues, such as neighbors calling the police when Jessica flashed her tits in the roller skating scene. I thought the premise could have provided many more laughs and a great deal more nudity, but it was a fast watch none the less. This is a C- by my reckoning, but I am often out of step with mainstream audiences on these raunchy teen comedies.

Jessica Canseco



Tera Rice






 


"Brutal"

Sometimes the title of a movie fits it right, this is one of this times, watching this is Brutal. The movie is very bad, even for a cheap Horror movie, the only little thing worth watching is the short lesbian action.

Kristin Kirgan




Soft-core erotica today with "Behind Bedroom Doors".


Leading it off with Chelsea Blue & Monique Alexander as they have a little lesbo fun.




Chelsea aka Brooke LaVelle lots of boobage as she gets it on with a variety of men.




Julia Kruis with some blink and you will miss it full frontal.




Nicole Sheridan in the shower.



 

"Teresa, el cuerpo de Cristo" aka "Teresa, the body of Christ" (2007)

Español:

Teresa, el cuerpo de Cristo (2007)

Teresa de Cepeda y Ahumada (Paz Vega) es la hija de un hidalgo de Ávila que se resiste a aceptar su rol de mujer en un mundo de hombres: no quiere limitarse a ser esposa y madre. Siente que tiene que haber algo más elevado. Quiere escribir, quiere leer, quiere aprender. En busca de ese "algo" que le falta, ingresa en un convento de clausura. Su decepción no puede ser mayor: tras las paredes del claustro reina el materialismo y la misma frivolidad de los que ella viene huyendo. Así, decide iniciar una cruzada de oración y sacrificio que la convierten primero en una rebelde y una loca, más tarde en una líder y, finalmente, en una santa. La película han suscitado cierta polémica en España por los momentos de "sexo" (en los que solo se ve lo que he capturado) que aparecen en la película entre Teresa y Cristo.


English

* Teresa, the body of Christ (2007):

Teresa de Cepeda y Ahumada (PazVega) is the daughter of an hidalgo in Avila, but she will not accept the limited role of women in a man's world. She will not be be satisfied to be a wife and mother, but feels that she must have something more elevated. She wants to write, read, and learn. In search of that "something" that she lacks, she enters a cloistered convent and finds that its hypocrisy could not be greater. Within those sheltered walls are the same materialism and frivolity that Teresa seeks to flee. After this, Teresa decides to initiate a public life of sermonizing and sacrifice that turn her first into a rebel and lunatic, and later into a respected leader, and finally into a saint. The film provoked a controversy in Spain because there are moments of "sex" (see the captures) between Teresa and Christ.

Paz Vega




Also today...some bonus 'caps from "The Dukes of Hazzard"


Alice Greczyn

Jacqui Maxwell and NikkiGriffin

Jessica Simpson

Nikki Griffin

 


From the Skin-man...here is Lady of Late Night Ahmo Hight showing off her robo-goodies in scenes from "Restless Souls".


Pat's comments in yellow...


THE SKINNY BITCH DIET
They're Both M.D.'s: "Medical Dumbasses" - The London Sun reports that the latest diet fad is a book called "Skinny Bitch," written by a modeling agent and an ex-model who are both self-proclaimed "Skinny Bitches." They claim the book "cuts out the crap" and tells it how it is. It's basically a vegan diet with a lot of attitude and some questionable medical assertions, such as that we get fat "because we don't poop enough." Sales on Amazon.com leaped 674 percent after Victoria Beckham was photographed last weekend carrying a copy in L.A.

*PBy L.A. standards, Victoria Beckham is a fat bitch
*Actually, she was carrying an advance copy of the sequel: "Emaciated Whore."
*When you poop, use this book as toilet paper.
*A "Skinny Bitch" is a bag of bones with a bitchy attitude...Men LOVE that!



McDONALD'S SUED FOR $10 MIL OVER CHEESEBURGER
He's Allergic To "Cheez"? - McDonald's is being sued for $10 million because their restaurant in Morgantown, West Virginia, served Jeromy Jackson a cheeseburger. Jackson claims he told the drive-thru clerk that he was allergic to cheese when he ordered two Quarter-Pounders without cheese. His lawsuit says he "took multiple preventive steps to assure his food did not contain cheese;" but when he bit into it, there was cheese, and he had a severe allergic reaction and could've died. He and his mom and a friend who was with them are suing McDonald's for medical expenses, plus pain, suffering and mental anguish.

*His mom and his friend have a severe allergic reaction to being poor.
*He took every preventative step to assure his food did not contain cheese, except for looking at it.
*You can tell that he takes great care with his health from the fact that he ordered TWO Quarter-Pounders.