Kalifornia (1993) is a crime/drama/thriller about a psych major (David Duchovny) who is mainly interested in serial killers. His wife (Michelle Forbes), is a wannabe photographer, and is after him to move to California. He decides to write a book on his favorite subject, and take a tour of famous murder sites to add atmosphere to his work, using her photos, then end up in California. Being starving students, they advertise for a couple to share the ride and expenses. They only get one response, and accept them sight unseen. They are a little put out that the couple are the epitome of trailer trash, but have no idea that Early Grayce, played brilliantly by Bradd Pitt is actually a serial killer. His girlfriend (Juliette Lewis) has the maturity of a about 10-year-old, but is at least washed most of the time.

Although the story is a little weak, the acting is great all around, making it worth seeing. Lewis shows a breast to say goodbye to Pitt. Forbes is seen often in a bra and panties. IMDb readers have it at 6.5 of 10. The experts disagree. Ebert awards four stars, while Berardinelli says 2 1/2. I agree more with Ebert on this one. Pitt gives a truly chilling performance as the remorseless serial killer, making the movie very effective. If the genre is serial killer movies, this is one of the better ones. C+.

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  • Juliette Lewis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • Michelle Forbes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.



    • I really like The Devil's Advocate, a sleazy movie about the Devil which is great fun to watch. It has an interesting plot, an over-the-top operatic characterization from Al Pacino, and lots of entertainment value. Ranked high among the entertaining features is this great full-frontal and rear nude scene of lanky, sexy Connie Nielsen ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip) .

    • Both Nielsen and Charlize Theron are topless in this one as Keanu Reeves makes love to one and imagines the other. ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip

    Holly Hannah! Isn't that innocent Amelie?

    • The incredibly cute Audrey Tautou, the young, French version of Audrey Hepburn, in Le Libertin. And a naked friend as well. And even screen legend Fanny Ardant hanging around fully dressed.( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip

    Two more .wmv conversions from Scoop

    • Holly Hunter in Thirteen. With the slim, firm body of a teenager 40-something Holly Hunter shows her breasts, and even flashes some pubes in the last few seconds. (.wmv - zip) .

    • This is kind of the grandmother of internet sex tape scandals, from back in the mid 90's or so. Mimi Macpherson, Elle's sister, tickling the taco. (.wmv - zip) .


    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Junior year. Seminars in Fiction. The Anti-Utopian novel. What did I learn? Not a hint of subtlety in the whole genre. Thought police, delta semi-morons bred solely for menial labor, handsome idiots nominally in charge while pure evil pulls the strings in the background. Things that could never happen in a decent society.

    Senior year. The Modern Film. Post-Apocalyptic Visions. Same ol'same ol'. Subtely comes in the form of enraged Aussie cops running over radiation-sickened evildoers in hockey masks.

    So, boys and girls, let's put the two together. A Post-Apocalyptic Anti-Utopian movie is what we're talking about. And if we do the math... zero subtlety times zero subtlety... what is there to expect but zero subtlety.

    Yet even in that context, the dreadfulness of Roller Blade (1985) is unexpected. One can imagine that with a defter hand the story of a religious order of women dedicated to justice in a fascist state years after the apocalypse might be entertaining stuff. Even if if were played as farce... truly the last refuge of the talentless film could see possibilities. What you don't expect is Donald G. Jackson, writer, director, producer, cinematographer, special effects technician and all-around anti-Midas of this film. He touched it and it turned to lead.

    The awfulness that is Roller Blade can be illustrated with the help of a few visual aids. Said aids have nekkid gals in them, and those are the only saving graces in all the film.

    Suzanne Solari plays the main good-gal, Sister Sharon Cross. Gets something real bad spilled on her skimpy outfit toward the end of the movie and takes it off as quick as can be, while making sure she gives up few goodies. She looks great in a really silly scene.

    Stupider stuff happens early on as Michelle Bauer is roughed up by a bunch of guys and made to wrestle another woman, played by a gal named Lisa Marie, but who is really Lisa Stagno; who if you recall from the last damn movie I capped, is pornstar Crystal Breeze. This is scene right out of TBS, this guys making hot chicks wrestle thing. Michelle gives up boobs and bum. Later, she and Crystal and a second pornstar, Barbara Peckinpaugh, enter the cleansing waters maintained by the religious order, who call themselves the Bod Sisters, and are healed of all wounds. All three gals are fully frontally clean.

    • Michelle Bauer (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • Crystal Breeze (1, 2)

    But the real chuckles come when you focus on Crystal's character. She is so earnestly in prayer in her first collage, so thoroughly cleansed in the second, all by the power of a being who we like to call The American Idol. You gotta see it to believe it, what it is these women worship. And again, in the hands of someone who knew what he was doing, the use of a banal modern symbol as a religious icon coulda been amusing. But when you are hammered over the head with it and when the whole cleansing ritual is made to work... wounds are healed, bodies made whole and beautiful again... you just gotta shake your head and mutter to yourself that this guy...Donald G. Jackson... must have been ridden out of Hollywood on a rail after Roller Blade came out.

    Nope. IMDb lists terrible movie after terrible movie in which he played a fundamental part. It's then I realized. Most of the really horrible movies are made by a handful of people. We're not talking the former cast members of SNL, either; cuz for every Corky Romano or Coneheads there is an Old School or a Ghostbusters. We're talking guys who never ever made a movie that anyone would graciously call halfway decent. Bombs, stinkeroos, disasters of the first order. One after another. What I can't figure out is how that is possible. Who is making money off these things? That's what I wanna know. Only reason I watch em is to grab a few frames of Michelle Bauer, nekkid again, but that's not everyone's motive, no matter how pure it might be.

    Okay, enough of that. Last thing is a collage I found hidden in the wrong file. Its a topless gal from Hot Club California; I sent in collages of other gals from this movie many moons ago. This one is Angela Olivan in her only credit on IMDb. Terrible shame.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today from the Ghost...a grab bag of assorted .wmvs

    • Chase Masterson (zipped .wmv)...The "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" co-star goes topless and shows very brief glimpses of the other two B's as she gets it on with Don Swayze (Patrick's younger brother) in a scene from "Digital Man" (1995).

    • Rachel Ticotin (zipped .wmv). Here is the "Total Recall" (1990) star topless in the tub in a scene from the 1981 Paul Newman movie "Fort Apache the Bronx".

    • Rosario Dawson (zipped .wmv). The busty actress doing a topless scene in the 1998 Spike Lee movie "He Got Game" (1998). On the downside, her goodies are obscured by backlighting, shadows and/or hands.

    • Jacqueline Lovell aka Sara St. James (zipped .wmv)....One of the better soft-core actress of the mid-late 90's. Here she is full frontal and being loved on by another topless woman in a scene from the Zalman King movie "Women of the Night" (2000).

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Cheerleader Camp"
    Puffy 80's hairdoos and some really nice boobs may be a reason to watch this 1987 horror flick. It may be the ONLY reason.

    Well, there is a plot too, of course. At a summer camp for cheerleaders, one of the cheerleaders is having nightmares as her boyfriend is having wet dreams over the other girls at the camp. When the girls start to be killed off, does she have a split personality that is killing them?

    The movie is billed as a comedy/horror/thriller. By about half way through this thing, you may find yourself rooting for the killer. Nice scenery, though, and as a comedy, it's not bad. As a horror movie or a thriller, it's pretty dismal.

    This movie was released in the UK with the title "Bloody Pom Poms". Huh, and I thought the British were more subtle, but the highlight of the movie was actually the "dueling boobs" scene at the beach between Teri Weigel and Krista blood, just boobs.

    Maria Bello
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Mr. Nude Celeb 'caps of Bello topless and showing some rear views in scenes from the excellent indie film "The Cooler".

    Sophie Marceau The beautiful French actress topless at age 20 in scenes from "Descente aux enfers" aka "Descent Into Hell" (1986). American audiences of course know her best from "Braveheart" and "The World is Not Enough"....unless you were one of the 6 people who thought it would be a great idea to see David Spade as the lead in a fluffy romantic comedy. In that case you know her from "Lost & Found" (1999).

    Cheryl Rixon
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the former Pet O' the Year (1980) topless and and only wearing undies in scenes from the 1980 comedy favorite "Used Cars", starring Kurt Russell and directed by Robert Zemeckis. Click here for Scoop's review.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    My Big, Fat Greek - Organizers of the Athens Olympics announced that visitors will be barred from events if they are carrying food or drinks from anyone other than the sponsors, Coke and McDonald's. For instance, if you're eating a Burger King Whopper or drinking a Pepsi, you won't be allowed in.

  • A Greek guy will stand at the gate and yell, "No Pepsi! Coke!"
  • Seems like either way, you'd be getting the taste of grease.
  • As you can see, the Olympics are all about bringing the body to peak physical condition.

    Real Textbooks Don't Have Half As Many Errors - Last week, California authorities seized the assets of California Alternative High School, a chain of 30 private schools that charged mainly Latino immigrants up to $1,450 for a 10-week course and a bogus diploma based on a book riddled with errors. Students were taught that there are four branches of the US government, not three; the Senate is for Democrats and the House for Republicans; Arthur Miller's classic play was called "Death of a Traveling Salesman;" and there are 53 states, but the flag hasn't been updated yet to include Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico.

  • The book was written by someone who attended a REAL California public school.
  • Officials knew something was wrong when Jay Leno started taping his "Jaywalking" segments at their graduation ceremonies.
  • I shudder to think what they told them in Sex Education class.
  • On the bright side, most of the students flunked, so maybe they know the RIGHT answers.

    And For Your Feet: Trump Pumps! - Donald Trump is launching his own line of business clothing. He said he got the idea when he saw "Apprentice" hopefuls lining up for interviews in their expensive three-piece suits and power ties and figured it would be lucrative. His line debuts this fall and feature suits, shirts, ties, sports coats and possibly even golfwear, all with the Trump family crest. He said there's already "tremendous interest."

  • Wait'll they find out the Trump family crest has a pair of dice and a bad hairdo on it.
  • But there's no interest in his other idea: Trump Hair Salons.
  • He also has a line of businesswear for women that features microminiskirts and plunging necklines.

    Just Wanna Have A Hit - 24 years after her last hit, LaToya Jackson has finally done it again: "Just Wanna Dance" is at #14 on Billboard's Hot Dance Club Play chart. But there's a catch: she's changed her name, and the song is credited to "Toy." LaToya said she wanted the song to be judged on its merits and "people weren't giving me the chance to do my thing, which is to sing." She giggled that she is calling DJs one at a time to tell them "Toy" is really LaToya, and some suspected it but some were surprised.

  • But they all stopped playing it.
  • How could anyone not recognize that amazing singing voice immediately?!
  • People who know LaToya were shocked to learn that her thing is to sing.
  • She's also planning a new Playboy layout under the name "Sex Toy."
  • Who can blame her? If I were in the Jackson family, I'd change my name, too.

    Sticking Her Nose In - The National Enquirer claims that Barbra Streisand gave organizers of the Democratic Convention pages of demands for her speaking appearance, including makeup artists, hairdressers, a fleet of limos, hotel suites for her entourage, and an army of bodyguards. She even dictated strict security rules to the FBI and insisted that party donors pay for it all. One insider called her a nightmare and said they told her to just stay home.

  • She's one of those "People who need people"...A LOT of people! For EVERYTHING!
  • She needed the fleet of limos for all her makeup artists.
  • The one thing she actually needed, she didn't ask for: a speechwriter.
  • Besides, it's not like she's a political expert, like Bruce Springsteen.
  • To be fair, anytime Barbra Streisand gives a political speech, she NEEDS an army of bodyguards.

    Banned In The South - Sissy Spacek and Alan Cumming are co-starring in a movie called "Southern Comfort," in which they play sex-change patients who fall in love. But Spacek plays a man who used to be a woman, and Cumming plays a woman who used to be a man. Spacek, who has to wear a fake nose and beard for the role, called it a great challenge, noting, "We've got to do sex" scenes.

  • No...Really...They don't.
  • So the nose and beard aren't the only fake things she wears.
  • If you thought the CGI effects in "Spider-Man" were amazing...
  • It might've been easier to cast Rosie O'Donnell and Richard Simmons.