"The Last American Virgin"

The Last American Virgin (1982) was covered well by Scoopy, who made all of the points I would have. I couldn't think of an interesting way to regurgitate the same information, so read his review if you haven't already. As he mentioned, the comments at IMDB point to a cult following, and this film, indeed. has fan sites devoted to it. Scoop mentioned the producers Golan and Globus several times in the course of his review, and it struck me that I don't recall seeing much about them in the Fun House, so put a ditto under Scoopy's review for me, and Lets talk about Golan and Globus.

If you watch many films, you can't help but have noticed that their name comes up very frequently. In fact, Yoram Globus, and Menahem Golan have been involved in 205 films together and separately, beginning in 1964, and as recently as 2002. Ratings range from 1.4 to 9.1. So who are these people? Menahem Golon was born Menahem Globus of Polish parents in Israel, but changed his name to Golan for patriotic reasons in 1948. After a stint in the then new Israeli Air Force, he worked with Roger Corman on The Young Racers in 1963. His first producing partnership with his younger cousin Yoram Globus was the same year, with El Dorado. At their height, the pair owned a large string of theaters, insuring distribution for anything they produced, and are much better known for quantity than quality.

In 1979, the two bought Canon Group, Inc. By 1987, they had built this floundering company into one that produced 35 films. They were, by then, heavily in debt, and their company was purchased in 1989. It was at this point that Golan split from Globus and the new management, and worked on his own, but the pair reunited and split several times in the years since.

Perhaps a quote from Golan best sums up their approach to film making. "If you make an American film with a beginning, a middle and an end, with a budget of less than five million dollars, you must be an idiot to lose money." The lower rung at IMDB is full of their films, but they also produced some credible work, including All of the Death Wish sequels, Runway Train, Bar Fly, 52 Pick-Up,10 to Midnight, and a couple of personal "sleeper" choices, Murphy's law, and Hot Resort.

Whenever I see them listed in the opening credits, I expect low budget, largely unknown players, and female nudity. Since I am always on a quest for female nudity, I find the world a better place with them in it. Their highest grossing film was Cobra, at $49M, and their median score at IMDB is around 4.1.

They will not be pushing anyone off of the 10 greatest film maker lists, but have contributed several films worth the watch, including some pleasantly off-beat sleepers, and hence deserve a place next to people like Roger Corman, who has produced lots of films, many of them watchable.

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  • Diane Franklin (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Gerri Idol (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
  • Louisa Moritz (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Tessa Richarde (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Unknown


    Irreversible (2002), as Scoopy recounted, caused people to walk out of Cannes in droves. I am on their side. After 30 minutes of twirling cameras, images that, thankfully, were mostly undecipherable, and a constant barrage of gutter talk, I found the 7 minute anal rape scene and the long naked Bellucci sex scene, got my caps, and got out of the theater. While Scoopy found things to admire about it, I did not. In his summary, Scoopy said. "It uses extreme levels of realistic graphic violence and unusual camera techniques to induce a reaction from the audience. It does produce a reaction in everyone. 99.9% of you will hate it, but that other guy will think it is truly an important work of cinema." He was right. My reaction was, "why am I watching this piece of crap?" After reading many of the positive reviews, I still can't come up with an answer to that question. I will leave this film to those that appreciate it. My score, C-. Unless you very narrowly define the genre, 99 out of 100 people will regret watching it.

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  • Monica Bellucci (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58)

    "Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends" (1960)

    ... and now for something completely different.

    "Boris, Moose and Squirrel have new DVD set. I hate those Goodnicks Moose and Squirrel."

    Sure enough, our heros have released their entire first season on digitally remastered DVDs. All of their friends are there, including Mr. Peabody and his boy Sherman, Fractured Fairy Tales, and Dudley, Nell, Snidley and the gang. The set contains 4 DVDs, and includes some special features, as well as the original 26 episodes from the first season.

    Natasha, as usual, shows a little bit of cleavage in her tight slinky dresses. Beany and Cecil and Rocky & Bullwinkle & Friends were the Simpsons and South Park of my generation, and are just as entertaining for me today as they were 43 years ago. June Foray, the voice of Natasha (and Rocky) was an accomplished voice actress with 154 credits at IMDB, including The Bugs Bunny Show, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, George of the Jungle, Tom & Jerry, The Jetsons and Famous Adventures of Mr. Magoo. Those my age will enjoy this trip in the Wabac machine, and those who have never seen an episode might want to give this a try. B-. The appeal is wider than most 43 year old cartoon shows.

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  • Natasha (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Tuna sent in his first caps to the page which appeared on July 21, 1999. Therefore, we missed his fourth anniversary about two weeks ago. His first film? Private Parts. He has managed to contribute something like 10,000 pictures per year in that period. That's about thirty per day, 365 days per year.

    August 19th will be the fourth anniversary of the first page in which Tuna and I each had vidcaps in the same edition. I was taking some time off during the summer when Tuna started contributing, and even Junior was not working on the site at that time.



    • Updated volumes: Linda Kozlowski



    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.



    days left until International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept 19)



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Elizabeth Hurley, topless from back her her slightly more chubby, original nose and uni-brow days...but she still looks great. Vidcaps from "Rowing with the Wind".

    • Linda Kozlowski aka Mrs. Crocodile Dundee topless in scenes from "Backstreet Justice" (1994).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    "Carnal Crimes" (1991) has more than the usual number of things working for it, and all of them are good looking women who get nekkid and get it on. Sometimes with one another.

    Linda Carol plays the main character, a woman whose fat, balding accountant of a husband is into photographic kinkiness. He'd rather stare at black-and-white pictures of ugly ladies in chains than boff his lovely wife.

    Yvette Stephens' exposure is significant and, thus, worthy of six collages, the first of three of which have her getting all friendly with Linda.

    • Yvette Stephens (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Long-time B-movie babe, Jasae, plays Linda's maid. Jasae does the nasty with her boyfriend as Linda looks on, behind a conveniently open door. Four collages, hooters in all, and some bush in the last.

    • Jasae (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Dominique Simone, UK pornstar, plays an uncredited professional clothing removal engineer. You get to see only the fantastic bum of this woman, who I submit has the most well-proportioned body in all the Queen's realm.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Back from vacation and with another "Babe in Bondage" day!

    We took the old time machine all the way back to 1969 for these scenes of an unknown "Babe in Bondage" from probably one of the worst movies ever made "The Astro Zombies" starring the line fumbling John Carradine in this turkey that was so bad it's almost good. They could have made it better by getting this babe naked.

    Back to the present for Catherine Granville getting knifed and then hung up topless in the shower in "Hunting Humans" a poorly acted but actually quite suspenseful movie.

    • Catherine Granville (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Connie Nielsen
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    The co-star of "Gladiator", "Soldier" and "The Devil's Advocate" showing partial breast and bum views plus full breast exposure in scenes from "Demonlover" (2002). 'Caps by the Skin-man.

    Charlie Spradling
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

    One more from the Skin-meister...the B-movie actress going topless and showing rear nudity in a locker room/shower scene from the 1990 movie "Mirror, Mirror".