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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Hiya, kids. Hiya, hiya. Scoopy Gremlin here.
Junior is attending a convention, so I'm hosting the page for an extended
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded
into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant
humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or
Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.
words and pics from Tuna
976-EVIL (1988) marks the directoral debut of Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund).
Two High School boys, cousins, live with a very domineering and religious
mother/aunt. Patrick O'Bryan, known as Spike, is the nephew, rides a Harley, has
a girlfriend, and other than his gambling addiction, is pretty together. His
cousin Stephen Geoffreys, known as Hoax, definitely shows the results of his
mother's upbringing, and is the school picked-on nerd. Spike loses too much at
poker, and calls 976-evil for his horoscope. He gets the answer, and pays his
debt without losing his bike. Cousin Hoax discovers the number in Spike's room,
and starts calling. He eventually makes a deal with the devil, and wreaks havoc
with all of his enemies.
Lezlie Deane, as Spike's girlfriend, shows breasts during a sex scene wearing
his leather jacket. For me, this film had nothing going for it except a strong
but irritating performance from Geoffreys. The plot went from boring to
impossible, there was nobody to like, and many events were thrown in "just
cause," such as live fish raining from the sky on the mother's head. Some, who
did not have a good High School experience, can relate to the Hoax character,
but for most of us, this is a film to avoid. IMDB readers say 3.5 of 10. D, only
for former geeks who want revenge and genre completists.
Scoop's note: Stephen Geoffreys, probably best known as
Evil Ed in Fright Night, is now a star performer in gay porn films. I'm
embarrassed to admit I know that, but I've seen far more of Evil Ed than I ever
wanted to see!
Killer Instinct (2001) was in the pile of films I had, for some reason, stuck
in a box to think about later. It was still shrink-wrapped, and rated R for a
scene of strong sexuality. Turns out, it was one Scoop reviewed months
ago. Based on his "Avoid this movie," I put it aside. I agree that it is not a
good film, but do not agree that the problem is a derivative plot. All teen
slasher films have a bad guy who was historically wronged, and does in good
looking young people trapped in some kind of building. In this story, they went
as far as to add two more converging plots, although I don't think that really
added, and upped the social consciousness of the genre by including a black and
a lesbian in the group. The problem with this film is two-fold. They telegraphed
the entire plot well in advance, and the 8 young people in the spooky vacant
asylum, who were on screen for most of the running time, were hired for looks,
not acting ability.
Two women show breasts in fairly tame sex scenes, Bridgette Brooks and Andrea
Langi. Langli also shows breasts showering afterward. Not that there was no
cleverness in this film. I thought hanging someone upside down in a room, and
then letting a poisonous snake was rather creative. Of the two films I watched
today, this was the better, but is still a D.
Scoop's note: Although the sheer lack of originality was
impressive, that wasn't my major objection, simply an irritant. I didn't mind
the fact that it was derivative as much as the fact that it was obvious. 8 kids
trapped in the house - 7 of them the sons and daughters of the directors who
ruined the life of the wronged dude. Gee - guess who the 8th one is. Guess who's
doing the killing. Guess who survives. I'll bet you now know everything about
the movie, never having seen it.
- Andrea Langli (1,
- Bridgette Brooks (1,
words and pics from Hankster
Another look today at 1973's "A Scream in the Streets", this time with Linda
York. Linda's not as well known as Sharon Kelly, but she did at least one
other soft core flick of that era "Fugitive Girls". In this one she plays a
message parlor girl who winds up getting the massage followed by sex with
her customer. Some fairly explicit shots here and it might look like they
are actually doing it, but in cap # 9 note where the guys dick is. Tomorrow
we will show you what happens to her after the sex.
- A Scream in the Streets (1,
in "My New Best Friend"
visit GR at www.graphic-barry.com
Madonna in Dick Tracy.
Connie Nielsen in
Innocents aka Dark Summer
Beatrice Dalle in Betty
Blue. This movie is one of the all-time nudity and sex champions in both quality
and quantity, and is also a worthwhile movie with excellent photography. BUT -
avoid the American cut at all costs - they trimmed 65 frickin' minutes. I was
talking to Mick Locke, our sometime reviewer and literary guru, and he was
telling me that I was crazy to recommend this movie to him, because there was
almost no nudity in the version he saw! You need the 185 minute version. As far
as I know, it is not on DVD yet. It would certainly be on my Top 10 most wanted
Anabella Sciorra in
the Sopranos. No nudity
Nina Hoss in "Die Gieseln von
Helen Hunt in What Women
Want - no nudity
words and pictures from Oz
Starting with a Polish film, A Week in the Life of a Man, the man was a
politician. There's some nice nudity by Ewa Skibinska (1,
2) who plays his mistress. Two
other women (1,
2) aren't wearing much but
I cannot identify them as the credits were useless.
Scans - The second scan of a naked
Kate Fischer in Black and White
magazine appeared a few days ago The
first scan of her was on the
front cover and again demonstrates her ample cleavage. There were also some very
nice pictures of Brittany Murphy,
Kirsten Dunst and
Helena Bonham Carter.
Amy Yasbeck (1,
3) in Robin Hood : Men in Tights
didn't show much but there were a few fantasies possible when she got out of a
bath wearing not much more than a small chastity belt.
Some unnamed exotic dancers are topless in The
Annette O'Toole goes topless in
Kiss of a Killer but you can see nothing from the back.
The Banning came out in 1967 so the best you can see of
Anjanette Comer is some nice
cleavage and some mild pokies.
Angela Bassett is topless in City
Tamlyn Tomita plays a Japanese
women in the USA during the second world war in Come See the Paradise. No
nudity, just the top of her butt crack.
You see Lisa Niemi (1,
2) in all her glory in
Slamdance. There may also be the top of
Virginia Madsen's areola when she
gets out of bed.
Some interesting caps of the Australian actress Noni Hazelhurst (1,
2) in Australian Dream. She's
naked but the picture is blurred by the shower screen.
Another Aussie movie is Around the World in 80 Ways and we get to see a brief
flash of Judith Fisher's breast.
There's a bit of Naomi Gaskin's
breast in Love Comes Down.
You get to see Fawnia Mondey's nice
breasts in My Father's Angel and April
More cleavage by Lolita Davidovich
in Jungle 2 Jungle.
Naturally, no nudity by Michelle Pfeifer (1,
2) in What Lies Beneath
but there are some mild pokies amongst the interesting sights.
Some breast by Libby Richmond in
the short film Bad-ass mono-winged angel.
More breast by Julia
Margaret Kruis in Where's Marlowe.
Finishing up with some caps of a shocker of a movie, Lust in the Dust. You get
to see Lainie Kazan (1,
2) and Divine's humungous butts -
I spared you Divine's revelation. You also see a side view of Lainie's cleavage,
the medical word I think is pendulous.
Gina Gallego makes
up for some of the other pictures.
Scorpion's weekly Skinemax cable wrap-up
Susan Featherly (1,
5) in Passion
in "For Love of Art"
in Dead Sexy
in Dead Sexy
Katie Lohman in
Nancy Vee in Dead
scans from Blackshine
The prolific Blackshine, master of the fashion scan, has been surprisingly quiet
for some weeks, but is now back with some new photographs by Ellen von Unwerth
from "Portfolio #28 - Ellen's Girls"|
- topless in more ways than one - bare breasts, bare scalp
- portrait only
- cleavage, no nudity
Murphy - topless, piercing blue eyes
Cummings - full frontal nudity
Herzigova - cleavage
Shimizu - Jenny is topless with nothing exposed, but she's kissing another
woman's bare nipples, so it's plenty sexy
- no nudity. Karen is just acting odd.
Casta- fully clothed, wearing a Zorro costume
Jovovich - The lovely Milla can look kinda unattractive at times, and this
isn't one of her best hair days. Portrait only. By the way, Milla is going for
the Armand Assante award for the most variable pronunciation of her name. A
couple years ago I heard Bruce Willis talking about what yeomanlike physical
punishment she endured in The Fifth Element, and he called he "MILL-a JO-vo-vich"
- which is pretty much the way any American would pronounce it instinctively.
Now, however, she's gone native with that whole Eastern European thing. I heard
an announcer name her in a promo last week, and he called her "MEE-la yo-VO-vich".
That would be the correct pronunciation of her name in the Slavic countries, but
it seems like she's establishing a new direction from her former relaxed
Auermann - portrait
Auermann - topless
Campbell - sexy see-through
Harlow - not only is she fully dressed, but you can't even see her face!
- pretty portrait
The top of
Jannelle Fishman's behind
|Delphine Pacific (1,
||In "Rod Steele 0014"
|Gabriella Hall (1,
||More from the immortal cinema classic In "Rod
Steele 0014: You Only Live Until You Die""|
|topless in The Believer