"Mad Dogs and Englishmen"

Mad Dogs and Englishmen (1995), according to IMDB, is a Thriller / Drama / Mystery / Romance. I couldn't figure it out either. This UK made film begins by introducing dozens of characters, without explaining who they are and how the relate to each other, the story, or anything else for that matter. This is what I surmised. Liz Hurley is the daughter of an aristocrat whose mother died of an overdose. She is following in Mums footsteps. An American student (C. Thomas Howell), who earns cash as a messenger, starts dating her, and encourages her to get off the drugs. Meanwhile, a police official, who has looked the other way with an upper class drug ring, decides to put them down when he discovers that they have hooked his daughter, and are screwing her as well.

Hurley shows breasts in a overly arty orange colored sex scene. Louise Delamere as the cops daughter shows breasts in a window that her father has under surveillance. IMDb readers have this at 3.4 of 10, which is way to high. The entire film is disjointed, there really isn't any character development and Howell plays the only likable character in the film. As far as the film goes, the only problem with Hurley's addiction is that daddy and boyfriend don't like it. The comments at IMDB are not favorable. Add to all of this a really bad transfer and you are well advised to avoid this film. D-.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Elizabeth Hurley (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Louise Delamere (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    The Assault of the Part Nerds 2 (1995)

    Has there ever been a movie where the sequel was more eagerly anticipated than Assault of the Party Nerds? Not even Star Wars generated that kind of anticipation for the "rest of the story".

    The original Party Nerds was made for $40,000 in four days, a quickie from the Jim Wynorski - Fred Olen Ray school of filmmaking, as created and assembled by that school's star pupil, their hope for the new generation, Richard Gabai.

    When I say "created and assembled", I'm not using that phrase casually. I have not seen that first film, but in the second one, Gabai is the star, director, producer, editor, songwriter, casting director, cinematographer ... oh, yeah, and his band recorded the music. Gabai is the Grade-Z Edward Norton - he even resembles him somewhat.

    The economical use of personnel didn't stop at Gabai himself. The female lead was the bartender at his favorite watering hole, and had never worked in a film before. She did OK, but never worked again. Other non-showbiz buddies rounded out the cast. Gabai hired Burt Ward (Robin, the Boy Wonder) to be a corporate bigwig, and Ward showed up with his wife, so Ward's wife in real life became the bigwig's wife in the script. Actress Tane McClure also laid down some vocal tracks (her singing is pretty decent!)

    There are two conflicts to be resolved in the script. The Party Nerds are about to be evicted from their frat house. One of the evil snooty frat boys has now become an evil corporate exec, and is scheming to steal his father-in-law's company. Gabai, now graduated from the Party Nerd house and working as a detective, must keep the evil snobby Bud from getting the company and the frat house.

    Other interesting cast members include Rhonda "Up All Night" Shear and Arte "Verrrry Interesting" Johnson.

    The shooting schedule was doubled to eight days for the sequel, so you can bet that the production values in #2  are positively lavish. That might not be so bad, but the DVD is approximately the same quality as VHS, so it looks even worse than you might expect.


    Assault of the Party Nerds 2 (1995)


    Assault of the Party Nerds (1989). This movie is trailered on the DVD for Part Nerds 2.


    The Last American Virgin (1982)

    I reviewed this yesterday. Find the other pics and comments in that edition. This is a frame I missed - Louisa Moritz's pubic hair.




    • Updated volumes: Louisa Moritz, Linda Fiorentino, Diane Franklin, Claire Forlani, Farrah Fawcett, Edwige Fenech, Nikki Fritz, Sherilyn Fenn, Jane Fonda, Sadie Frost



    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.



    days left until International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept 19)



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    From 1982 teen flick "The Last American Virgin".
    • Diane Franklin topless in her film debut. Of course she'll always be remembered as Lane Myer's love interest from the comedy classic "Better Off Dead"(1985).

    • Louisa Moritz, baring breasts and bum.

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    "Delta Delta Die!"

    This movie requires the viewer to make a choice: do you want a decently done B-movie horror flick, or do you want lots of nudity and some really badly done gore thrown in?

    If you made the second choice, this is the movie for you. Lots of nudity, along with one of the most lame, poorly acted movies you'll see in a while. Still, Julie Strain continues to love to show those boobies, and she has some help in this one. The plot is simple: a sorority has a quaint little secret. They're cannibals. House Mother Julie sets a yummy example for her girls as she eats her way through the local male population.

    See it with someone you love (to eat :-).

    Keira Knightley Excellent 'caps of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" star topless in scenes from the UK movie "The Hole" (2001)

    Kim Kreike Topless and very nice thong views from the French movie "Bon plan" (2000).

    Pascale Bussières
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    The French-Canadian actress bares all in scenes from "La Turbulence des fluides" (2002).

    Véronique Balme
    (1, 2, 3)

    Topless in more scenes from "Bon plan" (2000). Links 1 and 2 have bonus breast exposure from the always lovely Ludivine Sagnier.

    Susan Ward Showing some serious pokies in scenes from the Jack Black movie "Shallow Hal".

    Sonja Bennett
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the young Canadian actress topless, baring her bum and giving us open crotch views in scenes from "Punch" (2002).

    As Scoop pointed out a few weeks ago, "Punch" is a sensitive and well-written comedy/drama which is beautifully acted, and resembles "American Beauty". However, one thing about the film is a little creepy...The writer/director of the film is Sonja's father, Guy Bennett, and he directed the spread-eagle nude scene we see in these 'caps.

    For more details, read Scoops's review.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Reason #97 Why Germany Never Invaded Texas - A record heat wave in Europe has politicians demanding action to stop apocalyptic global warming and the media running stories about people desperately trying to cool off. But some Texans mocked the Europeans as wimps. The highs reached 86 degrees F. in Germany, 96 in London and 104 in Paris. Wednesday in Dallas, the high was 109.

  • Texans responded by eating two alarm chili instead of three alarm.
  • And that's why President Bush makes reporters spend August in Texas.
  • Germans visit Texas in December and complain when it's 84 degrees.
  • It was so hot in Paris, Frenchmen were surrendering to the Good Humor man.

    Out For Justice - After months of branding Steven Seagal a "pathological liar," his former movie producer Julius Nasso struck a deal and pleaded guilty to teaming up with the Gambino mob to extort money from the action star. He is expected to serve one year in jail for threatening Seagal's life if he didn't pay Nasso $150,000 for every movie he made.

  • He should've been forced to pay that money to the audience.
  • I knew there HAD to be a reason why they kept making Steven Seagal movies.
  • He also pleaded guilty to terrorism for unleashing all those Steven Seagal films on America.

    J-Lo's Just Generally Angry These Days - An Atlanta hotel maid told Britain's Heat magazine that she mistakenly walked in on Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez and discovered that Ben wears tiny black thong underwear. She said J-Lo got angry at her, maybe because "she was embarrassed that her husband-to-be's underwear is more feminine than hers."

  • J-Lo wears giant grannie-panties.
  • They actually belong to a stripper, but Ben's been wearing them ever since J-Lo found them in his car.
  • After inflicting "Gigli" on us, Ben deserves to have to wear a too-tight thong.