Tuna |
"Erin
Brockovich" (2000) Erin
Brockovich is being released next Tuesday, the
15th on VHS and DVD. I think it is safe to say
that these are the first caps anywhere from it.
First, a quick summary of key points. Even if you
don't like Julia Roberts, you will love her in
this one. The is the best new movie I have seen
this year. While there is no exposure, Julia
shows so much cleavage throughout the film that
her boobs are the only part of the film Roger
Ebert saw and reviewed. (He doesn't seem to like
boobs, by the way. Everyone else raves about it.
It is the true story of former Miss Kansas,
Erin Brockovich. As the film opens, she has a
traffic accident. As she is a single mother of
three with two worthless and absent ex husbands,
no job, and no money, she decides to sue the
other driver. Her attire and language (major
potty mouth) in court don't endure her to the
jury, and she looses. She decides her lawyer owes
her a job, and bullies him into giving her one.
He assigns her a boring pro bono real estate
purchase dispute to organize the files on, and
she discovers a pollution with carcinogens on the
part of PG&E that is turning the community
into a funeral home. Largely due to her efforts,
and her way with the common people who are the
victims, this resulted in the largest cash
settlement ever awarded in the US -- $333
MegaBucks.
What makes this movie work so well is that
director Steven Soderbergh avoided all of the
cliches of a courtroom drama, and of a corporate
cover-up. There are no tense courtroom scenes, no
shadowy figures are tailing Erin, there are no
threats on her life. What Soderbergh did was tell
his story by presenting complete characters and
show all the pressures and balancing acts that
determine their conduct. There was not a bad
performance in the film, but Roberts steals the
show. She is believable as uneducated but
intelligent and ambitious law clerk, she is
believable as mother, and she is believable as
someone who cares deeply about the victims and
sticking it to Pacific Gas and Electric.
Thumbnails
Julia Roberts (1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7)
"Let the
Devil Wear Black" (1999)
Let the Devil Wear Black is loosely based on
Hamlet. I have to be honest here. It was so dark,
and so muddled, I gave up part way through and
just grabbed the exposure. The acting I saw was
flat, and the plot confusing. Those who read my
reviews regularly know how many really bad films
I have watched beginning to end, so that should
give you an idea about this one. Mary Louise
Parker shows her breasts while talking on the
phone (she is the Ophelia, who is going insane).
There is also an unknown stripper. This one is
very forgettable, and, judging by the number of
reviews on line, most people just didn't bother
seeing it.
Thumbnails
Mary Louise Parker (1,
2,
3,
4,
5)
Stripper (1,
2)
D'oh!
A small correction from yesterday...In the
review for "Montenegro" I identified
the second actress as Lisbeth Zachrisson based on
the Bare Facts listing. Frodo, who is familiar
with the actress, tells me it is really Patricia
Gélin. Patricia Gelin (1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6,
7,
8,
9,
10)
|
Johnny Web |
"Holy
Smoke" Warning: spoilers.
Dicaprio made a really bad movie, so I guess
his Titanic co-star didn't want to be outdone.
About all I have to say is that this is Jane
Campion's worst movie. When you consider that The
Piano is her best movie, and knock that down a
few levels, you'll get the idea.
Winslet plays an intelligent Aussie from a
dysfunctional and idiotic family. She goes
searching for the meaning of life, and seems to
have found it at an Indian Ashram. And you know
they are enlightened there, because they sing
along with Neil Diamond songs. Well, her Aussie
family is worried about her, since they can't
imagine her becoming part of any religion whose
gods look like multi-headed monkeys. Instead,
they want her to come back to a sensible religion
whose gods look like stockbrokers. Natural
enough.
Mum lures her back to Oz with a cockamamie
story about her father dying, and when Winslet
gets to the family homestead, they introduce her
to a cult deprogrammer (Harvey Keitel) who
intends to "exit" her from the clutches
of the Upanishads.
Keitel starts out as a thorough professional,
and he knows his material. His grasp of religion
and psychology, and his extensive experience with
other women who have followed the same path, are
capable of swamping Winslet, as she soon
realizes. But she doesn't want to be swamped, so
she does the only thing you can do when you can't
win a game you want to win - she changes the
rules.
Locked away with Keitel for three days, she
changes the Jeopardy category from
"knowledge of religion", which Keitel
dominates, to seduction, and this one she wins
easily. She is a lush-bodied young woman, and
Keitel is a geezer with dyed hair, tons of sexual
insecurity and some not-so-suppressed misogyny.
She seduces him, humiliates him about his age and
his technique and his dick size and anything else
she can dig up, and then deliberately leads him
into ever more degrading activities, then finally
discards him when he becomes emotionally
dependent on her. He ends up broken, crawling
through the outback in a dress and lipstick,
begging her not to walk away.
In an epilogue, Winslet has not only returned
to India, but has taken her mum with her! Keitel,
on the other hand, has gone back to his
girlfriend and they have had twins. But Winslet
and Keitel admit to each other in postcards that
there really was some special deep connection
between them.
Holy smoke, was this a bad movie. Oh, bad,
bad, bad. It is meant to be satire, I suppose. I
guess it is supposed to be ironic that her
idiotic and unhappy family would actually think
happiness in an ashram could somehow be worse
than what they have. It is supposed to be ironic
that this woman who outsmarts the brilliant cult
deprogrammer is suckered in by a moronicly
simplistic guru. It is supposed to be ironic that
the controller loses all control and ends up
whimpering in the desert. I think all of this is
supposed to have some humor, or social satire, or
something. Unfortunately, the Campion sisters
(director/writer) have somewhat of a handicap in
producing satire: they have no sense of humor.
Now you know how in a comedy people will do
things they would not normally do in life. When a
bank teller gets a hold-up note in a comedy, he
will correct the grammar. This is strange
behavior, but we enjoy the absurdity because it
is funny. Now take away the sense of humor and
strange behavior is just strange and irrational.
Have Harvey Keitel crawling through the desert in
a dress, holding on to Kate Winslet's sizeable
leg, crying and begging. This is supposed to be
funny, since he was supposed to have complete
control in the relationship, and he was reduced
to nothingness. But, of course, it isn't funny,
so we are simply left with Harvey Keitel in a
dress, whimpering.
In one scene, we are symbolically showed the
emptiness of the family's life in Australia
because everyone lives in nearly-identical
houses. Funny stuff, eh? And plenty original.
The film did less than $2 million in domestic
box in the States.
The DVD is very dark, although I assume that
is not because of the transfer, but because of
the original film. There are no extras.
The good news: plenty of naked Winslet. In
more ways than one. Plenty of Winslet images, and
plenty of Winslet per image.
Winslet (1,
2,
3,
4,
5)
"Reindeer
Games" (1999), from Johnny Web
One of those noir films where everyone
double-crosses everyone else, and you aren't
supposed to guess who's really in control. Well,
I didn't guess the final surprise, so I guess
that wasn't so bad. It isn't a good movie, but I
enjoyed it in the category of a leisurely watch
which is worth a quick look when you can't sleep,
especially if you already paid for the cable
channel.
Here
is the Rotten Tomatoes summary. Very few
reviewers liked it. 26% positive reviews overall,
and even a lower percentage from the top
reviewers. Most people though the plot twists
came out of left field, and several thought Ben
Affleck and Charlize lacked credibility as
hardened criminals.
The one thing I thought was dumb was the old
James Bond cliche of "well, since you're
going to die, I may as well tell you the whole
plot, so I'll hold this gun to your head while
you hear the exposition along with the
audience". That one is hard to take even
once per film, but they must have used it seven
or eight hundred times, to explain every aspect
of the plot, like a voice-over. Like Affleck
would hold a gun to a little kid's head, and say
"OK, I don't have five cents for that
lemonade, but this roscoe says I'm headin' to
citrus city, and by the way I'm going to pretend
to that girl over there that I'm my late
cellmate". Then he'd spare the kid's life,
but drive a car over the lemonade stand.
Charlize (1, 2, 3, 4)
|
WhyScan's Page Three
Report |
If Page Three is unfamiliar to
you, this
link describes the Page Three tradition. |
Today's Page 3 girl....Katie, 22,
from Manchester. To be honest I think the page 3
standards are slipping. I shouldn't be able to
look at a page 3 girl and know I've dated better!
(1, 2, 3, 4) Bonus
news
Anyone got more on this from today's Sun?
Britney Spears became an instant member of the
celebrity nipple club, following in the
bra-straps of Billie Piper, Nicole Appleton and
Posh Spice by having too little dress.
A male aide rushed to help and one guest said:
"He pushed her boob back in and pulled it
around so it didn't happen again." Tough
job, but someone's got to do it...
Britney popping out. Not a whole lot, but it's
a start! (1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6)
Bonus Pics More nip slips...this time
Posh Spice, Victoria Adams (1, 2)
Paparazzi pics of Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
topless at the beach. (1,
2,
3)
|
Crow |
Nikki Cox from
"Unhappily..."
(1,
2,
3)
Terri
Runnels from WWF
|
|
Blackshine |
Liz Hurley
(1,
2,
3,
4)
|
Yeah Baby! Vidcaps from
"Austin Powers". #1 and 2 are mostly
head shots. #3 features her very clever, and
busty tourist disguise. #4 is Liz in the leather
suit. As far as my question from yesterday
about the highest paycheck per word...one reader
suggested Holly Hunter in "The Piano".
Although I'm not sure if that counts since she
played a mute. That's kind of like winning by
default. (In Homer's opinon, the two greatest
words in the English language...de fault.) But I
still think Liz gets the gold for highest paid, 2
minute screen performance!
|
Fabiana Udenio
(1,
2)
|
The hot tub scene from
"Austin Powers". I've always been a
little diapointed that Fabiana didn't do more
nudity over the course of her career. You win
some and lose some I guess. |
Michelle Ferrera
(1,
2,
3,
4,
5,
6)
|
More from Blackshine's Fashion
series. These all come from the German Vouge. |
FR |
Britney
Spears |
More from the Teen Choice
Awards...here is a little better view of
Britney's nip slip, almost a boob slip actually!
FR 'capped these from German TV and mentioned in
his email that it was very difficult to get
decent images. Regardless, I'm telling you
folks...my official Scoopy Jr prediction is that
she will get nekkid sooner or later. Actually,
back in March one of my friends even went so far
as to predict that she'll be doing porn within 5
years. That might be a bit extreme, but hey it is
showbiz! Anything is possible. But I think I'll
put my money on a Bunnymag shoot with 2 years. |
Tyra Banks |
A lot of high quality cleavage
with these next three, but no real exposure
unfortunatley. Here is Tyra in a bikini top from
"The Apartment Complex" |
Tia
Carrere |
In an M&M's Ad |
Lisa Del
Bo |
No clue at all who she is! The
best I could find online is that she represnted
Belgium in the 1996 Eurovision song contest. For
me, that info is worth slighty less than a
diagram of the chemical composition of a Twinkie.
No really...what are those things made of? and
how come they have a half life instead of a shelf
life? |
Stop Motion |
Ali Landry
(1,
2,
3)
|
If only all of the women who ate
Doritos really looked like this! I believe that
would be a cheese flavored heaven! All three of
these scans from Maxim UK are as sexy as can be,
despite the lack of nudity. |
and ... |
Eva Habermann
(1,
2,
3,
4)
|
More great vidcaps from
"Lexx", by Meg@bit. No nudity today
unfortunately. |
Charlize
Theron |
Charlize going topless from "Reindeer
Games", by Hugo |
Juliet
Lewis |
Vidcaps by Hugo from "The 4th
Floor". |
The Funnies by Number 6 |
'Net humor |
The
ultimate summer job |
Absolut
Parody #1 |
Absolut
Parody #2 |
Absolut
Parody #3 |
Absolut
Parody #4 |
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