Kicking the Dog


Kicking the Dog is a raunchy comedy about a group of sex-obsessed school chums who are in the stage in life where they are just about to go their separate ways. Providing comic relief to the film are three high school kids who are always hanging around and listening to the more experienced guys. (One of them is a younger brother.) Since the film had a budget of literally zero, the story takes place entirely in a two-day period in summer, and is located entirely in typical middle-class suburban homes and lawns. The IMDb talk board points out that the entire film was shot and edited in the director's house. (Except, I suppose, for a few moments which take place in the local porn shop, where one of the characters has a summer job.)

With no action of any kind, and virtually no plot, the essence of the film is drunken sex talk. The three main male characters talk about their wildest sexual adventures, much to the dismay of their female companions. The most dismayed female is a virginal college grad who is in love with one of the young rakes. Not only does she dislike hearing about all of his lurid past sexual adventures, but her annoyance is exacerbated by the fact that he has not ever made love to her in six months of dating.

This film is primitive. It's much too talky, and the male characters tend to lapse into monologues, much like the early efforts of Kevin Smith. Those characters seem to discuss sex with a naiveté inconsistent with the exploits they describe. What's more, the editing is rudimentary, some of the actors are weak, and some of the main plot threads are left hanging when the movie ends. On the other hand, those same things are true about Clerks, and that film worked out OK because it had other positive characteristics which made up for the weak elements: bawdy humor, frankly realistic dialogue, and insights about the lives of people of that generation trapped in a certain kind of slacker existence.

KTD doesn't have many insights, but it does provide some guilty pleasures. The slice-of-life script somewhat compensates for its plotlessness with some interesting characters. I found four of the main characters to be developed very effectively, and performed competently. The two lovers showed enough depth that I was interested in their story, and I got some laughs from the performances delivered by coldest of the chums and one of the high school kids. Because of those characterizations, a couple of funny set pieces, and some entertaining dialogue, I found the film worth the watch, despite some clumsy moments.

The only nudity comes from Lorianne Dye, who exposes her breasts in a two-part dream sequence.


Easy Virtue


Major Spoilers

Easy Virtue is an elegant period piece about the last century's interbellum in the UK. A young heir to a massive but decaying family estate injects turmoil into his family's affairs when he brings home Larita, a liberated American wife, the winner of the Monaco Grand Prix, as played by Jessica Biel. The heir's mother and his wife immediately begin a fight for his soul, with most of the family siding with the haughty matriarch against the interloper. Only the heir's world-weary father supports his marriage and welcomes his lively new bride.

The screenplay is an adaptation of a Noel Coward play which was written when the story actually took place, in 1924, when Coward was 25 and cynical. Coward was a pragmatist who looked at England and its aristocracy with cold detachment, albeit spiced with wit, for the play is a comedy, not a tragedy, although it is a comedy with some very serious underlying ideas and a fair share of heartache. In his autobiography, "Present Indicative," Coward wrote that he wanted to present a comedy in the structure of a tragedy "to compare the déclassée woman of today with the more flamboyant demi-mondaine of the 1890's" Yeah, whatever, there, Noel. Thankfully the actual play is down-to-earth and generally free of pretentious bullshit and accented e's, unlike that summary.

For reasons not very clear to me, the film's version of the story altered a sordid aspect of Larita's past.

  • In Coward's version, Larita's ex-husband, a jealous man, accused her of having an affair with a painter when she posed for a nude. She denied it, but the artist - tormented by unrequited love - committed suicide. This was presented as proof of infidelity at the divorce trial.
  • In the film's version, it was the husband who committed suicide when he was dying of cancer. There was a trial, but it was a murder trial, not a divorce proceeding, in which Larita was accused of murdering the sick man. (Although acquitted, she later admits that she did in fact assist him to commit suicide, but did so out of love for him.)

The film script thus changed Larisa from a wrongfully accused divorcee with a scandalous divorce trial to a widow who was hiding a scandalous murder trial. Perhaps the screenwriters felt that her having been a divorcee and a nude model was not scandalous enough in 2009 to produce the emotional impact it generated with 1924 audiences. My own opinion is that Coward's original version is infinitely more credible, and that anyone who would be inclined to watch this film would understand that people from the English upper crust had conservative attitudes toward divorce and nude modeling in the 1920s.

The film's ending is also a change from the play, although in that case I preferred the re-write. The play ends with Larita departing alone after having danced with the twit next door. The film ends with her departing with her father-in-law, with whom she had just done a sexy tango. That tango was my favorite scene in the film, by far. An embarrassed Larita requests a song from the band, the music starts, and she is left hanging and partnerless by her husband, so her suddenly gallant father-in-law steps in gracefully. It's possible to see that Colin Firth is no dancer, but he's such a charismatic performer than he sells the dance completely, and provides an unexpected but completely welcome bit of erotic tension between the older man and his daughter-in-law. What will happen when the two of them leave together? The nature of their future relationship is ambiguous. Perhaps they will bond romantically, perhaps the young woman has simply restored the older man's zest for life, and is symbolically driving him away from his figurative prison. The film is open-ended.

While its heavy-handed treatment of the mother-in-law seems to be more sitcom material than Oscar material, and its class warfare ground seems too well-trod by earlier and better pictures, Easy Virtue looks gorgeous and has some great moments, most of them supplied by Colin Firth as the complicated, disillusioned war veteran whose will to live had been nearly exhausted before the arrival of his feisty new daughter-in-law. The addition of the tango and departure scenes, plus the fact that Firth's character has the most different dimensions in his character, plus the fact that Firth's character grows the most, plus the usual fine performance from Firth, all added up to a major transposition of audience sympathy from the play to the screenplay. Those elements turned a play that was originally about about Larita into a movie that was really about her father-in-law, and not a bad one at that.

The only nudity is provided by Kimberley Nixon as the heir's naive youngest sister, who is misinformed about the proper way to perform a can-can in polite English society, and does so without her panties. (Biel joined the can-can, but wore her knickers, alas!)


  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.












TV Land

Today is another 'Hankster Light" day. In fact it's an all Emmanuelle Chriqui day as we feature her in 2 TV shows.

First from Jimmy Fallon's "Late Night" show she puts on a nice leg & thigh show. Caps and a HD clip.

Then from "Entourage" she is just looking plain sexy in a nice tight dress. Caps and a HD clip.








Tonight's contribution is again British in flavour and most caps are from the 70s. There are also plenty of naked ladies.


Confessions of a Window Cleaner

The "Confessions" is a group of four movies starring Robin Askwith as a randy, bumbling young man trying his hand at a variety of jobs. The first is Confessions of a Window Cleaner (1974).

Those who show the lot are Carole Augustine, Linda Hayden, Olivia Munday and a soapy Sue Longhurst. Andree Cromarty, Judy Matheson and Katya Wyeth show their breasts. Christine Donna is a stripper who  shows most of her body, Anika Pavel shows some brief pokies and Anita Graham shows the whopper of an upskirt. Porjai Nicholas is another stripper but her performance is cut short. Melissa Stribling is in her underwear. There are a group of tennis-playing college girls who are also naked. They are Glenda Allen, Ava Cadell, Zoe Hendry, Petula Noble but I couldn't work out who is who. Similarly, a group of dancers called the Baby Dolls show some see-through bush. They are Monika Ringwald (who I could identify), Jeannie Collins, Claire Russell and Jo Peters.















Confessions of a Pop Performer

Confessions of a Pop Performer (1975) was the next in the series.  Anita Kay, Helli Louise, Jill Gascoigne, Maggie Wright, Margaret Heald and Sally Harrison show everything. Linda Regan shows her  breasts. Carol Hawkins, Diane Langton, Irene Gorst, Lynda Westover, Vicki Woolfe and some girls not identified are in their underwear.  Rula Lenska shows pokies and Susan St Clair a bit of cleavage.











Langton and Regan





St Clair




Confessions of a Driving Instructor

The third movie is Confessions of a Driving Instructor (1976).  Chrissy Iddon, Maxine Casson, Sally Faulkner and Suzy Mandel are completely naked. Lynda Bellingham shows her breasts. Liz Fraser and  Sally Adez are in their underwear.









Confessions from a Holiday Camp

Confessions from a Holiday Camp (1977) was the final movie. Caroline  Ellis, Deborah Brayshaw, Linda Hayden, Nicola Blackman and Penny Meredith are naked. Janet Edis shows her breasts, and Kim Hardy and Liz Fraser flash some cleavage. Sheila White is in a bikini and so is Sue Upton, better known as one of Benny Hill's favourite angels. A  number of other women paraded around in bathers. One I've identified is Carrie Jones and the other girl in the blue bikini with her is probably Julia Bond, but I can't confirm this.












Upton and Ellis



The Stud

The Stud (1978) is the first of two movies based on Jackie Collins  novels starring her sister Joan Collins. They don't rate very highly in the IMDB but there are some lovely naked ladies. Felicity Buirski,  Susie Silvey and Pat Astley show a bit of bush. Emma Jacobs, Joan Collins, Minah Bird and Sue Lloyd show their breasts. Sharon Fussey flashes a bit of cleavage.


Silvey and Astley








The Bitch

The second movie in the series is The Bitch (1979). Joan Collins is  naked and there is possibly a bit of bush (look in the mirror). Pamela Salem and Sue Lloyd show their breasts. Carolyn Seymour shows a bit of cleavage, Cherry Gillespie looks sexy doing a dance and Sharon Fussey looks nice. There are a lot of completely naked ladies who, unfortunately, could not be identified. One of the girls in the pool is supposed to be Vicki Scott, but I'm not sure who.













Notes and collages


Rok is on summer vacation.








Whitney Port - slight nip-slip (maybe)

Eva Mendes - total see-through blouse


Film Clips