Sexy American Idle (2003) is a direct to vid tittie flick from Seduction Cinema featuring all of the usual suspects. It is, evidently, a parody of a TV show which I have not seen. The premise is a televised talent contest in a small town with no talent. The style is somewhat reminiscent of films like Kentucky Fried Movie. Julian Wells wrote it, and played to roles, a judge and a contestant. Anoushka played the other female judge.

Each of the contestants tries everything, including seduction, to win. All of the women shows breasts either during their performance or during their campaigning. Since there are more than enough boobs for two night, this will be continued. Tonight we have Anoushka and Julian Wells. I will not be recommending this effort.
Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


Hi Scoop,


I see that ‘Shaun of the Dead’ is now scheduled for a US release:  good news as it is a very funny movie.  But one of the better aspects of it is that it may turn out to be the end of a genre.  Although I’m not a great fan of zombie movies, I found ’28 Days Later’ absolutely chilling and thought it would be hard to improve on. ‘Shaun of the Dead’ doesn’t even try to do this, it just goes straight for the jugular of the old zombie clichés.  If you’ve seen ‘Shaun of the Dead’ and ’28 Days Later’, you don’t need to see any more zombie movies, and you certainly don’t need to make any.  Well, it’s good to hope anyway!


Incidentally, US audiences will have an early indication whether they are getting the real deal or a censored version, as the first line in the film is:  ‘Any of you cunts want a drink then?’




The Snapper

Scoop's note: Even though I have the "no undead" rule, and have never really enjoyed a zombie movie before last year (except for that crazy and funny one where Linnea dances naked on the tombstone), I have actually liked two in the past year - and it may be three if I like Shaun of the Dead. In addition to 28 Days Later, which had some brilliant elements, especially in the first half, I enjoyed the recent remake of Dawn of the Dead!

I can't believe that I'm claiming that there are three decent zombie movies in a year? I must be mellowing.



Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




Here are the latest movie reviews available at


  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.


The Other Side of Midnight, Day 1

  • Marie France-Pisier, "The Other Side of Midnight" ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip) . Sex scene. Pisier on bottom. Breasts.

  • Marie France-Pisier, "The Other Side of Midnight" ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip) . Another sex scene. Pisier on bottom. Breasts.

  • Marie France-Pisier, "The Other Side of Midnight" ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip) . Pisier in a bra, no nudity.

  • Marie France-Pisier, "The Other Side of Midnight" ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip) . She takes a bath.

  • Marie France-Pisier, "The Other Side of Midnight" ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip) . She walks around topless.

  • Marie France-Pisier, "The Other Side of Midnight" ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip) . Here's the one you've been waiting for . Full frontal nudity, lubricant, ice cubes, the works!. Shiloh says, "I don't know if this one made the sexiest scenes of all time, but it's on my top ten. I first saw this movie on my first cruise in the Navy, early '78. The movie sucks, but I enjoyed the ending."

  • Tomorrow, more Pisier and Susan Sarandon.


Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

A few more video clips for the gang to enjoy. (divx .avi)'s a follow up to yesterday's clip from "Zero Woman: Dangerous Game". This is Chieko's friend, Ichiho Matsuda. The clip is deliberately grainy, so much so that I didn't bother to cap it when I did this movie... so this is the first time for it in the Funhouse.

Next...some Hefmates-

Stella Stevens (January 1960), almost sorta kinda showing something in "Las Vegas Lady".

Veronica Gamba (November '83), playing the topless 'Girl at Picnic' in "Smokey & The Bandit 3".

Corinna Harney (Heffer O' the month August '91 and O' The Year '92), topless in "Vampirella"

The gorgeous Kelly Monaco (April 1997), topless in a scene from "Late Last Night".

  • Kelly Monaco (1, 2)

Morgan Fox (former Miss Canada 1988, and Heffer for December 1990), topless in a scene from "Flesh Gordon and the Cosmic Cheerleaders".

'Caps and comments by Spaz:

"The Portrait" (1992)
A special treat for Star Trek fans. Both the Klingon sisters Lursa and B'Etor doff their tops and show they still have big racks without prosthetics. Click here for a pic of them in full Klingon make-up

  • Gwynyth Walsh: posing nude for painting plus sex scene. (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Barbara March: posing nude for painting.

Naked Josh: episode Family Misgivings
Topic is incest as in kissing cousins. The last episode of the first season and it has been renewed for another season to cover issues such as necrophilia, bestiality and watersports.

Forever Knight: episode Heart of Darkness
Naked Josh's Krista Bridges plays a vampire stripper.

Bliss: episode Aural Sex
Paradise Falls fans will want to take note of this. Raven Dauda is starring in the new season of the revised series that is starting on Showcase next September. Just who is returning after such a long absence is not known.

Hunger: episode Sacred Fire
The last edition from the Soul Snatcher collection.

"Ricky Nelson: Original Teen Idol"
TV movie about Ricky Nelson's rise from 1950s sitcom land into 1960s sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. The censors missed a nipple right at the edge of the screen.

"Ticket to Heaven" (1981)
This movie shows something you rarely see in movies. An actress shown in full length pantyhose instead of the garter-belt/fishnet leg stockings combo.

"White Light" (1991)
A cop dies, goes to heaven, gets laid.

Madison: episode With This Ring
Standard cliche for any tv series. A bachelor party is thrown so they have a stripper who does a cheesy strip tease while revealing nothing.

'Caps and comments by Dann:

"The Getaway"
Conventional widom is this 1994 remake of the 1972 classic is not as good. Being a Steve McQueen fan, I'm not going to argue that Alec Baldwin was better in the male lead (although he was damned good), but Kim Basinger was damned sure hotter than Ali MacGraw, and there was a lot more sex and action in the remake, so yeah, overall, I think the remake was better.

Hired to spring a Mexican prisoner from an American jail, a career criminal winds up in a Mexican prison when the exchange for the money in Mexico goes bad, and his partner flies off without him.

After a year, our guy's wife convinces a local kingpin to get him out, but in exchange, she must sleep with the kingpin, and her husband must pull a job for him when he's released. Even worse, he must use on his crew the guy who bailed on him in Mexico.

The job gets done, but then everyone plays screw-your-buddy leading to an exciting shoot-out and ending. Regardless of how you felt about the original, this is an exciting crime flick with tons of action, and it's definitely worth seeing on it's own merits.

My only real complaint with this movie was the DVD quality. It was grainy, full of artifacts, and had a fixed, preset aspect ratio so you only had half a screen's worth of pixels to work with, compared with most DVD's that use a variable aspect ratio for widescreen, which lets you have more pixels on the cap, and then let photoshop correct the ratio. It made for disappointing quality on the collage, but it's still worth having in my collection, I guess.

'Caps and comments by Oz:

Starting off, it's trash time in the old town tonight. You only need to look at the names of the actresses to realise that the movies have minimal storyline and maximum nakedness. Unfortunately, being video taped originals the caps are not DVD quality.

"Sheer Passion"
The story is a murder mystery. Take out the bed hopping and it takes 15 minutes to solve the crime. The rest is all you can see by Brande N Roderick, Nenna Quiroz, Linda O'Neal, Lisa Boyle, Shyra Deland, Sandy Wasko and Jodie Fisher.

  • Brande Roderick (1, 2, 3)
  • Nenna Quiroz (1, 2)
  • Linda O'Neal (1, 2
  • Lisa Boyle (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Shyra Deland (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Sandy Wasko (1, 2
  • Jodie Fisher (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

"Southern Cross"
To some more conventional movies, although Southern Cross is a Steven-Segal-type movie clone as the hero battles for the downtrodden in the face of overwhelming odds. Valentina Vargas goes briefly topless and there are some nice views of Amaya Forch.

  • Valentina Vargas (1, 2)

"Hear No Evil"
Some brief topless shots of Marlee Matlin in Hear No Evil when she gets out of the bath.

  • Marlee Matlin (1, 2)

"The Wash"
There's not much going for The Wash, which was supposed to be a comedy. The lead actors are rap stars trying to branch out into movies, so you get the genaral idea. However, some nice topless and bikini clad unidentified women do make it easier to watch.

  • Unknown bikini babes (1, 2, 3, 4)