You all know what The L-Word is. It's time to enjoy some of
season three in high definition:
Episode 1) ... Katherine Moenning gets her top off in a kissing
Episode 2) ... Lauren Lee Smith shows a breast in a bathing
I have no idea what Lulu is, other than that it seems to be
something from German TV that lasted three and a half hours, but I
know that it featured clear and well-lighted full-frontal nudity
from Susanne Lothar of the hill people, and that it appears to be
some crazy-ass shit. Or maybe that's just because
this (zipped) .avi was mastered strangely. Oh well, who cares?
As the hill people like to say, "Fire - bad. Lothar naked - good."
Kirsten Dunst manages to get through an incredibly lengthy bath
scene in Marie Antoinette without showing one bit of fun stuff. (Zipped
.avi) Silly girl ... but cute as a button.
Chloe Sevigny makes up for Kirsten by showing pretty much
everything every chance she gets, this time in 3 Needles. (Zipped
.avi) If only more female celebrities would use Chloe as their
The new releases did quite well, especially the two wide releases. Talladega Nights did substantially better than its estimate, and Barnyard was a very pleasant surprise for its studio, doubling the Box Office Mojo prediction.
Overall, the box office was 18% above last year, with just about all of that $18 million accounted for by the unexpectedly strong performance of the new releases (An extra ten million from Talladega, and six million from Barnyard.)
Saudi Arabia’s leading executioner Muhammad Saad Al-Beshi will behead up to seven people in a day. “It doesn’t matter to me: Two, four, 10 — As long as I’m doing God’s will, it doesn’t matter how many people I execute.”
An executioner’s life, of course, is not all killing. Sometimes it can be amputation of hands and legs. “I use a special sharp knife, not a sword,” he explains. “When I cut off a hand I cut it from the joint. If it is a leg the authorities specify where it is to be taken off, so I follow that.”
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
The Comeback (2005) - day two.
A reader requested the sexy non-nude images of Lisa Kudrow, and we aim to
please, especially since I was a Kudrow fan before I watched this, and still
am. In fact, my appreciation for her acting ability has probably grown, even
though I didn't much like the material.
Kudrow's character in this film is married to an obviously wealthy Beverly
Hills businessman. She is not working because she needs money. The whole
comeback is a journey of the ego. In her heyday, she experienced fame and
everything that goes with it, but that was many years before. She intends to
recapture that fame. She is in for many rude shocks in the course of the
series, but is constantly trying to put a spin on everything. She not only
deals with hostile writers, network whims, and an in-your-face crew filming
the reality show, but also faces plumbing problems at home, adopting a puppy,
and a stepdaughter who is the poster child for spoiled.
Most of Kudrow's costume choices in this series called attention to her
breasts. She wore a lot of tight sweaters, showed cleavage in many of them,
and had serious pokies in one outfit. She showed a great deal of cleavage in
one episode more or less dedicated to showing cleavage. The premise was that
her fictional sitcom had been nominated for a Peoples Choice award, and she
had to find a designer dress to wear to the ceremony. Her new publicity agent
landed a radical new designer, who shipped the dress to her. When she put it
on, the neckline plunged to her navel. Everyone convinced her that it looked
amazingly hot, and since she was trying to compete with Malin Akerman for
publicity, hot is exactly what she was looking for.
The punch line is that the designer shows up at the event, and informs her
that she is wearing the dress backwards!
Scoop's note: most people probably
feel that Kudrow is like a member of the family after having had her in their
living room for ten years on Friends, but almost nobody realizes what a
spectacular figure she has, because her Friends character was a hippie who was
into the whole muu-muu look. To see her body displayed in clothed but
spectacular fashion, check out Lucky Numbers, the "comedy" she made with
Travolta and Tim Roth. (Sorry, although Lisa looks impressive, and the cast
sounds OK in theory, the movie is not
so good - 21% at Rotten Tomatoes.)
Angel Guts: Red Vertigo (1988)
Faced with increasing competition from television, Japanese film theaters
eventually faced the same sorts of attendance problems that American
theaters had faced in the period 1946-64. The Japanese studios elected to
respond by showing people some things they could not see on TV: sex and
violence. The so-called "pink films," softcore porn efforts with violent
themes, began in 1961. Nikkatsu Studios produced action films throughout the
60s, but when they say how profitable pink films had become, they created
their own line, the "Roman Porno" (Romantic Pornography) sub-genre in
1971. The idea behind the Roman Porno erotic product line was to
package the pinku within a more commercially accessible format. Their
concept worked so well that Nikkatsu ceased all other production and made
nothing but Roman Porno films for 18 years, enough of them to keep each of
their theaters showing a fresh triple bill every week.
Unlike the competing "Pinky Violence" films from rival Toei Studios, some
of the Nikkatsu directors included genitals in the scenes as they were
filmed, but always blurred the genitalia in the distributed versions in
order to placate the Japanese censors. The censor's pixelation of
pubic hair is very annoying to foreigners, but that is simply a given in
Japanese cinema. In fact, some of Japan's stricter moral guardians felt that
even when the view was pixelated, it was arousing to think of what was
behind the blur!
1988's Angel Guts: Red Vertigo is one of the last of the Roman Porno
films made by the Nikkatsu Corporation. It is one of a series of Angel Guts
films based on a popular Manga series. This one, like all of the Angel Guts
stories, featured an abused woman named Nami Tsuchiya, and an oppressive
male character named Tetsuro Muraki. The first four Angel Guts films were
made by top Nikkatsu directors, and the competent execution combined with
the popularity of the graphic novels made it one of their most successful
series. For this fifth one, the studio actually hired Takashi Ishii, the
original creator of the Manga efforts and a wannabe director, to direct his
own story ...
... which goes like this:
Muraki is having a rather hard day. He's a stockbroker who has embezzled
a great deal of money from investors and lost it all. His clients are ready
to lynch him, and the police are looking for him. You think that's a bad
day? Poor Nami works as a nurse, and is assaulted by two patients at work
who want to rape her. Running home early for comfort, she finds her
photographer boyfriend screwing his current model. (Saeko Kizuki). Too much
tribulation for one day, you think? Unfortunately for her, her troubles are
only beginning. She rushes out of her house, and is promptly hit by a
passing vehicle driven by Muraki-san, who assumes she is dead and throws her
into his car. When he sees her move, nothing will satisfy him except raping
her, but he can't get it up. Nami finally gets angry, but gets over it in
time to have several hot sex scenes with Muraki.
Some critics have trouble believing that Nami would eventually become
intimate with her kidnapper, especially after a rape attempt and the other
abuse she had suffered that day. Others chalk it up to Stockholm Syndrome. I
save myself a lot of worry by not expecting porn to have credible
Comments indicate that some find this the best of the series, others find
it the worst. I have ordered the rest of the series, so I will be able to
decide for myself. At any rate, this is a solid contribution to the
genre of Roman Porno, making it a C on our scale. It will certainly not be
for everyone, or for very many people at all, given the multiple rapes.
IMDb readers have this at 6.9, but based on very few votes.
Saeko Kizuki, as the model,
Mayako Katsuragi, as Nami,
shows breasts and buns in several scenes..
Dann reports on Under Lock and Key:
1995 version of "women in prison" sexploitation flicks actually does have
a plot other than just women in prison. It's weak, but hey, they tried.
An FBI agent goes undercover to make
friends with a young woman who is the ex-girlfriend of a drug dealer. The
girl had hidden evidence against the guy, and he wants it back. The FBI
wants it too.
Things appear to be working as the agent
gains the girl's confidence, but when the two women are being transferred,
the dealer’s thugs hit the transfer van in a daring escape attempt,
attempting to free the girl and return her to the dealer. Well ya know, no
one every accused druggie thugs of being too bright, so during the fight
to free the girl, they wind up killing her. Even worse, they assume that
the agent was a close friend of the girl, and decide she must know where
the evidence is hidden.
Things get even worse for the agent when
the drug lord finds out she is an FBI agent. He has her daughter
kidnapped. Now it's really war, as the agent enlists the help of a prison
guard to battle the drug mob.
They get A for effort, but at the end of
the day, what we are left with is still a B-movie sexploitation flick. And
there's plenty of nudity so that ain't necessarily bad.
Stephanie Ann Smith
The Teacher (1974) takes Angel Tompkins, an actress with a long list
of TV credits and a certain cult following, and throws her into a septic tank.
Watching this movie reminds me of the Randy Quaid line from National Lampoon's
Christmas Vacation...."Shitter's full!!!". Indeed it is. Angel plays the title
character and Jay North, who had been TV's Dennis the Menace in his youth,
plays the student-object of her affection. Damn, even if one considers the
very different sensibilities of the 70's and today, that is one tawdry
combination. The Caren Kaye movie, My Tutor, does a much better job, with far
less discomfort, in portraying a May-March love affair. Both movies even have
long scenes of voyeurism but in My Tutor it comes off nicely, whereas in The
Teacher it is just plain icky. That someone dies as a result of peeping in The
Teacher certainly adds to the ickiness. A reviewer wrote of the movie, '10',
that all the ugly slapstick components warranted a slap across the wrist for
everyone involved. For The Teacher a swift kick in the balls would be a more
appropriate form of punishment.
Anyway, Angel gets topless for about four minutes, across several scenes,
packed into five clips. (Zipped
together into one file.) The first two are separate peeping events, as
Angel doffs her top on her boat. Damn good binoculars the guys are looking
through...they permit one to zoom right in on the goodies. Then there is a
strip-to-shower scene, and two romps in the hay with Dennis the erstwhile
Menace. The actress and actor involved in the hooking up have all the heat and
chemistry of a reaction between dry ice and liquid nitrogen. To paraphrase the
greatest living Western philosopher, this movie does the physically impossible
by sucking and blowing at the same time.
And the first clips from Psycho Cop 2 (1993), a fine, fine feature
film available only on videotape. It's truly a fine film. Fine. Really. Okay,
to those who have kidnapped my wife, can I have her back now? Good. It's
an RPOS movie, by which I mean a Real Piece of Shit. Only redeeming features
are the nekkid babes, who play outcall strippers.
The exuberantly put-together Melanie Good is the first of these. (Zipped.
Priscilla Huckleberry's only filmed performance of any kind was in this
wonderful, spectacular, delightful movie. One would think....one certainly
hoped....that built as she was, there would be a place for her in all sorts
of movies that required clothing removal. But no. This makes me sad. (Four
.avi files zipped together.)
And one of Suzee Pai, former Penthouse Pet in January of 1981, in her only
on-screen nekkidness in 1988's Jakarta. Not much goodie giving up by a
gal who once spread herself all across the pages of a magazine. (Zipped.
Tara Reid has really been hitting that gym. You know, the one owned by Dusty
Rhodes. The one that has alcoholic ice cream drinks and its own Krispy Kreme
Classic Flashes, part one. Joyce Hyser in One of the Guys
Classic Flashes, part two. Sissy Spacek in Welcome to L.A.
Classic Flashes, part three. A young Virginia Madsen in Class.