Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Off the Map (2004)

Already discussed this. I liked it about as much as I could ever like a film told in the first person by a 12 year old girl. Oh, that's not really fair, I guess. I really did like it, even though it is not my kind of film. All cynicism aside, there is something seductive about the film's combination of idealism and naiveté, and the performances are uniformly excellent.

I did a few more caps from the commercial DVD cuz, let's face it, Joan Allen nudity is a rare commodity.

Joan Allen


Downfall (2004)

This film has established quite a reputation for one which has not been widely seen outside of Germany. It is a historical recreation of the last days of Hitler inside the bunker, as based on the recollections of some people who were actually there, especially Hitler's secretary, Traudl Junge, who wrote a book on the subject. It was notorious even before filming began, primarily because it was the first major international film project made in Germany to deal primarily with Hitler. Up until this point, the Germans have been relying on their former enemies to tell their story. The film's notoriety was magnified by a treatment that showed some of the Nazis to be sympathetic or honorable, and showed Hitler to have moments of kindness for Eva, Speer, his secretary, the Goebbels children, and his dog.

Frankly, I don't know why anyone found that to be objectionable. Life would be much simpler if the villains would always clearly appear to be villains, so we could know to avoid them. What makes the process of politics scary is that evil comes packaged in a way that is not substantially different from good, and that all of us can find ourselves deluded into following monsters. The obviously deranged crackpot like Kim Jong-Il is the exception, not the rule, and I suppose even Kim has admirers who find him to be a lovely guy. If Hitler had always appeared to be a ranting lunatic, he would not have inspired a nation to follow him. He obviously had to have some kind of charisma, both in interpersonal relationships and in his public speeches, even if we would prefer to think of him as a scheming, evil, simpleton.

The film does make Hitler into a pathetic character. He consults his battle plans and moves imaginary armies into position. His advisors and generals humor him, or kowtow sycophantically, often sneering behind his back. The script does not, however, make the leap from pathetic to sympathetic or empathetic and even if it can be interpreted to have done so, one must concede that it was down in an attempt to tell the true story about real people. They were simply not as they were shown in the Warner Brothers cartoons of the 40s. We might like to think that Hitler was a member of a separate species which resembles humans but includes extra evil genes, but the sad fact of the matter is that he was a monster, but he was also one of us. The act of demonstrating that monsters grow inside of us is probably reason enough to have made the film.

The two most powerful and famous men in Germany at the time were Hitler and Goebbels, and the two actors who played these parts were absolutely uncanny. Bruno Ganz managed to become Hitler in every way, from the shaking hand down to that rough-hewn Austrian accent. As for the other guy, I don't think they hired an actor. I think that guy WAS Goebbels come back to life. He sounded exactly like him, voice and accent, and he even looked exactly like him, same rat face and all, except that he was several inches too tall.

The film is not historically reliable in that it relies on the perspective of a few people in a limited context. It is not based upon the work of a scholarly historian trying carefully to sift through conflicting evidence, but rather on such sources as the subjective observations of a secretary. Some of the people she finds sympathetic and honorable are not generally thought of in those terms. Here is the overview of an expert, David Irving, whose comprehensive analysis of the film's characters and events is written in such a concise and down-to-earth manner that it should make an interesting and intelligible read even if you have not seen the film.  

Der Untergang is a great movie, one of the best of 2004, but I don't think you need me to tell you that. It has won a bushel basket full of awards, is rated an impressive 8.5 at IMDb (#77 of all time), and provides further evidence of a resurgent German film industry that is starting to turn out world class movies of many different types: from Tom Twkver's hip films; to gentle, sympathetic comedies like Good-bye, Lenin; to serious historical analyses like this film. If you have any interest in World War Two, or Hitler's final days, this is mandatory viewing. I found it completely fascinating, and got absorbed in every detail, even though the film is 2:35 long.


Maria Semenova
some other German chicks

Crimson Ghost

A grab bag today from the ol' Scarlet Spectre

Jennifer Behr in Erotic Confessions
Maria Ford in Wasp Woman
Michelle McFall in Hotline
Tammy Parks in Erotic Confessions
Holly Sampson in Bedtime Stories


Words and pictures from Hankster.    

Today we have a really bad movie called "Compelling Evidence" from 1995. This has to rank as one of the all time worst movies ever to hit the screen. The acting is so bad it is just unbelievable and as far as plot, it is nothing but ridiculous. We have a so called action-adventure hero who's wife is murdered and he is the major suspect, but this plot is so messed up he is never picked up by the cops, but yet manages to make an appearance on live TV to proclaim his innocence.

Well if there is anything good to this it would be left to the actresses to  provide it:

First up is B-movie veteran Melissa Moore who gives us boobs and butt as the so called hero's mistress.

Next is Brigitte Nielsen as his soon-to-be-murdered wife. Why she would do this flick is a good question. She keeps her clothes on, but some leg and cleavage from Brigitte.

Then we have the ill-fated Dano Plato, the former child star of TV's "Different Stroke's" who died of a drug overdose in 1999.

T & A from Dana  who plays the television reporter who falls for the action hero.

The last two caps have Dana as a "Babe in Bondage & Peril".

Señor Piel

  Io, Emmanuelle (1989)
Erika Blanc


 Betty (1992)

In this strange and poignant French drama, Marie Trintignant plays a woman who has literally had her life stripped from her. When she is caught having an affair, her wealthy husband and his family force her into a divorce settlement that bars her from ever seeing her two daughters.

Lapsing into an alcoholic haze where she drifts from man to man, she is rescued by a sympathetic woman who tries to help her put her life together. Things get complicated when the woman's lover becomes Betty's next conquest, causing an obvious strain on the new relationship.

The ending was quiet and unfulfilling, but the movie on the whole was interesting, especially for people who like good character studies of the "human condition". While I can't give it an unqualified recommendation, it was not the worst 100 minutes I've spent watching a movie.

Marie Trintignant


Jennifer Aniston in the new Vanity Fair (not nude)
Millie Perkins in The Witch Who Came From The Sea

Pat Reeder - The Comedy Wire

Pat's Comments in yellow:

Scientists in South Korea announced that they have created the first cloned dog, an Afghan hound named Snuppy, short for "Seoul National University puppy."  The news was hailed by the embryonic pet-cloning industry but questioned by ethicists.  One researcher described the cloned dog as "frisky, healthy, normal and rambunctious."

*   Also, "tender, juicy, and tastes like chicken."

The New York Times reported that Rafael Palmeiro tested positive for Stanozolol, the drug that cost sprinter Ben Johnson his Olympic gold medal, and not something that he wouldn't know he was taking.  The House Government Reform Committee plans to investigate whether he committed perjury when he testified that "I have never taken steroids, period."  Chairman Tom Davis said perjury charges are uncommon, but in such a high profile case, "if we did nothing, I think we'd look like idiots.  Don't you?"

*  You're congressmen...You look like idiots already!

President Bush, a former owner of the Texas Rangers, stood by his old friend Palmeiro, saying, "He's the kind of person that's going to stand up in front of the klieg lights and say he didn't use steroids, and I believe him.  Still do."

*  Obviously, Bush doesn't care if he looks like an idiot.
*  Plus, Bush has kind of a "so what?" attitude about lying to Congress.

President Bush is in Crawford, Texas, for a nearly five-week vacation, the longest presidential vacation in 36 years.  He's spent 320 days so far in Crawford, 20 percent of his presidency.  This month, he will surpass famous vacationer Ronald Reagan's mark of 335 days spent on vacation over his eight-year presidency.

*  And Bush surpassed him in five years...He actually makes Reagan look like a workaholic!
*  He loves Texas in August so much that maybe we should add a mental exam to his yearly physical.

Scrubbers carwash in Luton, England, was reprimanded by the Advertising Standards Agency for their flyer, which has a cartoon of a buxom blonde car-washer offering "the best handjob in town."  Officials called it inappropriate for children and likely to cause offense.  But Scrubbers said the "Handjob" is just a manual carwash, and they thought it was a harmless, funny name, like their other services: the Quickie, the Full Monty, and the "In 'n' Out and a Polish Off."

*  They save money by using the same flyer as the massage parlor next door.

Movie Reviews


Here are the latest movie reviews available at


  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


Other Crap

Those fat chicks in the Dove ads are stirring up quite the little controversy.

A clip from Aeon Flux, and a short behind the scenes featurette.

Police investigate allegations of public indecency at strip club golf outing. (With a video, albeit a mostly censored one.) Neighbors say there was "nudity and inappropriate behavior" on the course. Some of the inappropriate behavior may have included: (1) improvin' the ol' lie (2) getting caught in the bush (3) illegal techniques for straightening out the putter (4) kissing the balls (5) ineffective hip turn (6) gripping it and ripping it (7) "skins" tournament

I think we may have found someplace more boring than Norway: "Mountain goat's return tops police news"

Rent a goat to eat away your poison ivy. Say, I may have found a way to grow my enterprise. Uncle Scoopy's Fun House becomes the Fun Emporium, your one-stop shop for both celebrity nudity and goat rental.

Now THAT'S casting! Crispin Glover is in talks to play Grendel in Robert Zemeckis' Beowulf.

Watch the trailer for 'Get Rich or Die Tryin' starring Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson in his feature film debut.

What happens when a bunch of clumsy nerds with no dancing ability memorize and execute an elaborate disco-style dance? I don't know, but OK Go did just that.

The Daily Show: "King Fahd of Saudi Arabia tested negative for being alive."

I haven't read it, but Bruce Campbell's book is supposed to be quite good. Maybe even good enough to make up for his movie (below).


Bruce Campbell makes his directorial debut with The Man With the Screaming Brain

The Film Crew - haiku inspired by Hollywood movies

Iraq war veteran John Crawford talks to Jon Stewart about his book 'The Last True Story I'll Ever Tell.'

Daily Show: House of Ill Recruit ... Ed Helms explores ways the army can revamp their sales technique.

US Pressuring Britain to Declare War on Someone, but British government continues to insist on catching those actually responsible. (Mad Guerilla)

President Makes It Clear: The Phrase Is 'War on Terror'

Man Kills Wife After Sex To Watch Sports On TV

Borowitz: "NORTH KOREA MOVES ONE MILLION CLONED CATS TO BORDER WITH SOUTH" ... Angry Kim Jong-Il Retaliates for Seoul's Dog Cloning

CNN suspended commentator Robert Novak indefinitely after he swore and walked off the set Thursday during a debate.

Pamela Anderson is planing to open a nightclub in Las Vegas. Good to hear. They need some nightlife in that town.

Celebrities when they were kids. The ugliest: Demi Moore. The cutest: probably Anna Kournikova. The most changed: George Clooney. The least changed: Patrick Swayze, who was apparently born looking like Dalton.

San Diego Zoo Panda News - watch a panda give birth

The NIT is suing the NCAA for holding a monopolistic grip on post-season tournaments.

Yahoo! Netrospective: 10 years, 100 moments of the Web

Current gallery of toilet and urinal pictures from around the world. These are not famous places or especially intriguing toilets. Just reg'lar ol' crappers and pissers from reg'lar ol' places like high schools and Chevron stations.

The new Highlander Trilogy is about to film. Submitter wrote: "It looks as if all involved (including the fans) will pretend the crapfest of Highlander 2 never happened. Look for a new telling of the origin of the immortals."

Experts Warn About Powdered Alcohol. Lik-M-Aid has sure improved since I was a kid. (This is an article about the phenomenon. The actual alcohol seller is at

For the man who has everything, give him the scent of Vulva.

Man Fabricated Hitchhiker's Death To Make Wife Leave One of the 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover: "Scare off your girl, Earl."

Toyota plans to introduce 10 more gasoline-electric hybrid models globally

Americans for Tax Reform are backing an effort to abolish a 'temporary' 3% tax on telephones imposed to help fund the Spanish-American War. It was designed to be a luxury tax. "At the time there were only 1,300 phones in the U.S., and only a wealthy few could afford phones."

Porn Stars to Have Their Rides Pimped in adult reality series. "Pimp My Porn Star Ride" is the second porn reality series, after "Date My Slut Mom"

This one is worth a bookmark if you like celeb gossip: The Daily Dish

"NLRB Green Lights Ban on Off-Duty Fraternizing Among Co-Workers" "A recent ruling by the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) allows employers to ban off-duty fraternizing among co-workers." They are not using fraternizing as a euphemism for fuckin'. They are really saying that it's OK if your boss forbids you to have an after-work beer or grab dinner with your colleagues.

Mozilla Foundation Announces Creation of Mozilla Corporation: "The Mozilla Foundation has announced the creation of the Mozilla Corporation, a wholly-owned subsidiary that will continue the development, distribution and marketing of Mozilla Firefox and Mozilla Thunderbird. Unlike the non-profit Mozilla Foundation, the Mozilla Corporation will be a taxable entity (that is, a for-profit rather than a non-profit)"

King Danny I needs citizens to serve him.

Sony Pictures to pay $1.5 mil. in the case of a fake movie critic. The fictitious critic, named David Manning, gave glowing reviews to such masterpieces as The Animal. The money is to be split up among those who bought tickets, which means that the one guy stupid enough to believe David Manning's glowing review oif The Animal will pocket the entire jackpot.

Letterman's "Top Ten Rafael Palmeiro Excuses"

Here's a new clip from Werner Herzog's Grizzly Man

Jennifer Aniston has reportedly pulled out of a Friends reunion show because she wants to distance herself from her character Rachel Green.


Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

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