Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Off the Map (2004)
Already discussed this. I liked it about as much as I could ever like a film
told in the first person by a 12 year old girl. Oh, that's not really fair, I
guess. I really did like it, even though it is not my kind of film. All cynicism aside, there is
something seductive about the film's combination of idealism and naiveté, and the performances are
I did a few more caps from the commercial DVD cuz, let's face it, Joan Allen
nudity is a rare commodity.
This film has established quite a reputation for one
which has not been widely seen outside of Germany. It is a historical recreation of the
last days of Hitler inside the bunker, as based on the recollections
of some people who were actually there, especially Hitler's
secretary, Traudl Junge, who wrote a book on the subject. It was
notorious even before filming began, primarily because it was the
first major international film project made in Germany to deal
primarily with Hitler. Up
until this point, the Germans have been relying on their former
enemies to tell their story. The film's notoriety was magnified by a
treatment that showed some of the Nazis to be sympathetic or
honorable, and showed Hitler to have moments of kindness for Eva,
Speer, his secretary, the Goebbels children, and his dog.
Frankly, I don't know why anyone found that to be
objectionable. Life would be much simpler if the villains would
always clearly appear to be villains, so we could know to avoid
them. What makes the process of politics scary is that evil comes
packaged in a way that is not substantially different from good, and
that all of us can find ourselves deluded into following monsters.
The obviously deranged crackpot like Kim Jong-Il is the exception,
not the rule, and I suppose even Kim has admirers who find him to be
a lovely guy. If Hitler had always appeared to be a ranting lunatic,
he would not have inspired a nation to follow him. He obviously had
to have some kind of charisma, both in interpersonal relationships
and in his public speeches, even if we would prefer to think of him
as a scheming, evil, simpleton.
The film does make Hitler into a pathetic
character. He consults his battle plans and moves imaginary armies
into position. His advisors and generals
humor him, or kowtow sycophantically, often sneering behind his
back. The script does not, however, make the leap from pathetic to
sympathetic or empathetic and even if it can be interpreted to have
done so, one must concede that it was down in an attempt to tell the
true story about real people. They were simply not as they were
shown in the Warner Brothers cartoons of the 40s. We might like to
think that Hitler was a member of a separate species which resembles
humans but includes extra evil genes, but the sad fact of the matter
is that he was a monster, but he was also one of us. The act of demonstrating that
monsters grow inside of us is probably reason enough to have made the
The two most powerful and famous men in Germany at the time were Hitler
and Goebbels, and the two actors who played these parts were
absolutely uncanny. Bruno Ganz managed to become Hitler in every
way, from the shaking hand down to that rough-hewn Austrian accent.
As for the other guy, I don't think they hired an actor. I think
that guy WAS Goebbels come back to life. He sounded exactly like
him, voice and accent, and he even looked exactly like him, same rat
face and all, except that he was several inches too tall.
The film is not historically reliable in that it
relies on the perspective of a few people in a limited context. It
is not based upon the work of a scholarly historian trying carefully
to sift through conflicting evidence, but rather on such sources as
the subjective observations of a secretary. Some of the people she
finds sympathetic and honorable are not generally thought of in
Here is the overview of an expert, David Irving, whose
comprehensive analysis of the film's characters and events is
written in such a concise and down-to-earth manner that it should
make an interesting and intelligible read even if you have not seen
Der Untergang is a great movie, one of the best of 2004, but I don't think
you need me to tell you that. It has won a bushel basket full of
awards, is rated an impressive 8.5 at IMDb (#77 of all time), and
provides further evidence of a resurgent German film industry that
is starting to turn out world class movies of many different types:
from Tom Twkver's hip films; to gentle, sympathetic comedies like
Good-bye, Lenin; to serious historical analyses like this film. If
you have any interest in World War Two, or Hitler's final days, this
is mandatory viewing. I found it completely fascinating, and got absorbed
in every detail, even though the film is 2:35 long.
some other German chicks
A grab bag today from the ol' Scarlet Spectre
Jennifer Behr in Erotic Confessions
Maria Ford in Wasp Woman
Michelle McFall in Hotline
Tammy Parks in Erotic Confessions
Holly Sampson in Bedtime Stories
Words and pictures from Hankster.
Today we have a really bad movie called "Compelling Evidence" from
1995. This has to rank as one of the all time worst movies ever to hit the
screen. The acting is so bad it is just unbelievable and as far as plot, it is
nothing but ridiculous. We have a so called action-adventure hero who's wife
is murdered and he is the major suspect, but this plot is so messed up he is
never picked up by the cops, but yet manages to make an appearance on live TV
to proclaim his innocence.
Well if there is anything good to this it would be left to the actresses to
||Io, Emmanuelle (1989)
In this strange and poignant French drama,
Marie Trintignant plays a woman who has literally had her life stripped from
her. When she is caught having an affair, her wealthy husband and his family
force her into a divorce settlement that bars her from ever seeing her two
Lapsing into an alcoholic haze where she drifts from man to man, she is
rescued by a sympathetic woman who tries to help her put her life together.
Things get complicated when the woman's lover becomes Betty's next conquest,
causing an obvious strain on the new relationship.
The ending was quiet and unfulfilling, but the movie on the whole was
interesting, especially for people who like good character studies of the
"human condition". While I can't give it an unqualified recommendation, it
was not the worst 100 minutes I've spent watching a movie.
|Jennifer Aniston in the new
Vanity Fair (not nude)
|Millie Perkins in The Witch
Who Came From The Sea
Pat Reeder - The Comedy Wire
Pat's Comments in yellow:
KOREAN SCIENTISTS CLONE DOG
Scientists in South Korea announced that they have created the first cloned dog,
an Afghan hound named Snuppy, short for "Seoul National University puppy." The
news was hailed by the embryonic pet-cloning industry but questioned by
ethicists. One researcher described the cloned dog as "frisky, healthy, normal
* Also, "tender, juicy, and tastes like chicken."
PALMEIRO INVESTIGATED BY CONGRESS
The New York Times reported that Rafael Palmeiro tested positive for Stanozolol,
the drug that cost sprinter Ben Johnson his Olympic gold medal, and not
something that he wouldn't know he was taking. The House Government Reform
Committee plans to investigate whether he committed perjury when he testified
that "I have never taken steroids, period." Chairman Tom Davis said perjury
charges are uncommon, but in such a high profile case, "if we did nothing, I
think we'd look like idiots. Don't you?"
* You're congressmen...You look like idiots already!
President Bush, a former owner of the Texas Rangers, stood by his old friend
Palmeiro, saying, "He's the kind of person that's going to stand up in front of
the klieg lights and say he didn't use steroids, and I believe him. Still do."
* Obviously, Bush doesn't care if he looks like an idiot.
* Plus, Bush has kind of a "so what?" attitude about lying to Congress.
BUSH SHOOTING FOR VACATION RECORD
President Bush is in Crawford, Texas, for a nearly five-week vacation, the
longest presidential vacation in 36 years. He's spent 320 days so far in
Crawford, 20 percent of his presidency. This month, he will surpass famous
vacationer Ronald Reagan's mark of 335 days spent on vacation over his
* And Bush surpassed him in five years...He actually
makes Reagan look like a workaholic!
* He loves Texas in August so much that maybe we should add a mental exam to
his yearly physical.
HANDJOB FLYER SPARKS COMPLAINTS
Scrubbers carwash in Luton, England, was reprimanded by the Advertising
Standards Agency for their flyer, which has a cartoon of a buxom blonde
car-washer offering "the best handjob in town." Officials called it
inappropriate for children and likely to cause offense. But Scrubbers said the
"Handjob" is just a manual carwash, and they thought it was a harmless, funny
name, like their other services: the Quickie, the Full Monty, and the "In 'n'
Out and a Polish Off."
* They save money by using the same flyer as the massage
parlor next door.
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Those fat chicks in the Dove ads are stirring up quite
the little controversy.
A clip from Aeon Flux, and a short behind the scenes
Police investigate allegations of public indecency at
strip club golf outing. (With a video, albeit a
mostly censored one.) Neighbors say there was "nudity
and inappropriate behavior" on the course. Some of the
inappropriate behavior may have included: (1) improvin'
the ol' lie (2) getting caught in the bush (3) illegal
techniques for straightening out the putter (4) kissing
the balls (5) ineffective hip turn (6) gripping it and
ripping it (7) "skins" tournament
I think we may have found someplace more boring than
"Mountain goat's return tops police news"
Rent a goat to eat away your poison ivy. Say, I may
have found a way to grow my enterprise. Uncle Scoopy's
Fun House becomes the Fun Emporium, your one-stop shop
for both celebrity nudity and goat rental.
Now THAT'S casting!
Crispin Glover is in talks to play Grendel in Robert
Watch the trailer for 'Get Rich or Die Tryin' starring
Curtis '50 Cent' Jackson in his feature film debut.
What happens when a bunch of clumsy nerds with no
dancing ability memorize and execute an elaborate
I don't know, but OK Go did just that.
The Daily Show: "King Fahd of Saudi Arabia tested
negative for being alive."
I haven't read it, but Bruce Campbell's book is
supposed to be quite good. Maybe even good enough to
make up for his movie (below).
Bruce Campbell makes his directorial debut with The Man
With the Screaming Brain
The Film Crew - haiku inspired by Hollywood movies
Iraq war veteran John Crawford talks to Jon Stewart
about his book 'The Last True Story I'll Ever Tell.'
Daily Show: House of Ill Recruit ... Ed Helms
explores ways the army can revamp their sales technique.
US Pressuring Britain to Declare War on Someone, but
British government continues to insist on catching those
actually responsible. (Mad Guerilla)
President Makes It Clear: The Phrase Is 'War on Terror'
Man Kills Wife After Sex To Watch Sports On TV
"NORTH KOREA MOVES ONE MILLION CLONED CATS TO BORDER
WITH SOUTH" ... Angry Kim Jong-Il Retaliates for
Seoul's Dog Cloning
CNN suspended commentator Robert Novak indefinitely
after he swore and walked off the set Thursday during a
Pamela Anderson is planing to open a nightclub in Las
Vegas. Good to hear. They need some nightlife in
Celebrities when they were kids. The ugliest: Demi
Moore. The cutest: probably Anna Kournikova. The most
changed: George Clooney. The least changed: Patrick
Swayze, who was apparently born looking like Dalton.
San Diego Zoo Panda News - watch a panda give birth
The NIT is suing the NCAA for holding a monopolistic
grip on post-season tournaments.
Yahoo! Netrospective: 10 years, 100 moments of the Web
Current gallery of toilet and urinal pictures from
around the world. These are not famous places or
especially intriguing toilets. Just reg'lar ol' crappers
and pissers from reg'lar ol' places like high schools
and Chevron stations.
The new Highlander Trilogy is about to film.
Submitter wrote: "It looks as if all involved (including
the fans) will pretend the crapfest of Highlander 2
never happened. Look for a new telling of the origin of
Experts Warn About Powdered Alcohol. Lik-M-Aid has
sure improved since I was a kid. (This is an article
about the phenomenon. The actual alcohol seller is at
For the man who has everything, give him the scent of
Man Fabricated Hitchhiker's Death To Make Wife Leave
One of the 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover: "Scare off your
Toyota plans to introduce 10 more gasoline-electric
hybrid models globally
Americans for Tax Reform are backing an effort to
abolish a 'temporary' 3% tax on telephones imposed to
help fund the Spanish-American War. It was designed
to be a luxury tax. "At the time there were only 1,300
phones in the U.S., and only a wealthy few could afford
Porn Stars to Have Their Rides Pimped in adult reality
series. "Pimp My Porn Star Ride" is the second porn
reality series, after "Date My Slut Mom"
This one is worth a bookmark if you like celeb gossip:
The Daily Dish
"NLRB Green Lights Ban on Off-Duty Fraternizing Among
Co-Workers" "A recent ruling by the National Labor
Relations Board (NLRB) allows employers to ban off-duty
fraternizing among co-workers." They are not using
fraternizing as a euphemism for fuckin'. They are really
saying that it's OK if your boss forbids you to have an
after-work beer or grab dinner with your colleagues.
Mozilla Foundation Announces Creation of Mozilla
Corporation: "The Mozilla Foundation has announced
the creation of the Mozilla Corporation, a wholly-owned
subsidiary that will continue the development,
distribution and marketing of Mozilla Firefox and
Mozilla Thunderbird. Unlike the non-profit Mozilla
Foundation, the Mozilla Corporation will be a taxable
entity (that is, a for-profit rather than a non-profit)"
King Danny I needs citizens to serve him.
Sony Pictures to pay $1.5 mil. in the case of a fake
movie critic. The fictitious critic, named David
Manning, gave glowing reviews to such masterpieces as
The Animal. The money is to be split up among those who
bought tickets, which means that the one guy stupid
enough to believe David Manning's glowing review oif The
Animal will pocket the entire jackpot.
Letterman's "Top Ten Rafael Palmeiro Excuses"
Here's a new clip from Werner Herzog's Grizzly Man
Jennifer Aniston has reportedly pulled out of a Friends
reunion show because she wants to distance herself
from her character Rachel Green.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
Currently on disability. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is firstname.lastname@example.org
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