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"Vatel" (2000)

Vatel (2000) is a costume period piece set during the reign of Louis XIV, and centers around a royal visit to the estate of the Prince de Condé. The express purpose is for his majesty and the entire court and their pets to enjoy the country, but the real reason is to evaluate the prince as a possible general in the upcoming war with the Dutch. This would return the prince to favor with the crown, and allow the prince to repay all his debts from the royal pocketbook. The task of dazzling his majesty falls on the chief steward, Vatel (Gérard Depardieu). The newest woman at court, played by Uma Thurman catches the eye of Vatel, and he captures her with kindness and talent.

Coustume period pieces are not my favorite genre, but I enjoyed this one, especially because it looked so good. Costumes, set decoration/art direction and photography were superb, as was the transfer, and I created far more images than the brief, dark breast exposure by Thurman, and the unknown water-nymphs justified. Indeed, it was nominated for Best art/set by the Academy. The film is also highly anti-establishment, poking fun at all the royals. IMDB readers have it at 6.4/10, and US gross was a mere $49,464 against a budget of $36m. Granted, it is not for everyone. Grading is difficult. As a period piece, it doesn't hold up well. The comedy, for the most part, is too low-key for the average viewer. It looks too good to award less than a C.

  • Thumbnails

  • Uma Thurman (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Unknon (1, 2, 3)

    "Bongwater" (1998)

    Throughout history, many of the most important and influential people have only needed one name, such as Plato, Gandhi, Jesus, Madonna, Hamlet, Cher, Shaft, Isis, Ra, and now a worthy person joins these ranks. I am speaking of Muffy, the stripper in Bongwater, who provided the only worthwhile footage in the entire film. Bongwater is a stereo-typical nerd gay doper artist pyromaniac musician romantic comedy, which is distinctly un-romantic, and un-funny. I know, Scoop, you warned me. The stats at IMDB don't tell much, except that one woman from outside the US and between 18 and 29 gave it a 7.0/10. No other women have voted. Men have it at 4.2/10.

    The film does look very good, and has several attractive players, but is otherwise a total waste. F+.

  • Thumbnails

  • Muffy (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Sanctimony stars Michael Pare, Eric Roberts, and Casper van Dien. Pretty much says it all, doesn't it? The film is a grade-b version of American Psycho without the irony. I'm not sure of the ID's, but there is one pretty significant sex/rape scene. I'll have the review ready for tomorrow's edition.

    • woman 1. This woman may be his girlfriend, Tanja Reichert. I'm not sure. (1, 2)
    • woman 2. This woman may be Crystal Lowe, but I'm not sure about this one either.


    The encyclopedia, volume I, is updated

    Graphic Response
  • Lisa Niemi (aka Mrs. Patrick Swayze) showing clear exposure of all three B's in a long nude scene with Pinto in "Slamdance" (1987).

  • Annette O'Toole, excellent topless 'caps from 1982's "Cat People".

  • Nastassja Kinski, full frontal nudity in scenes from "Cat People".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

  • UC99
    Barbara Auer Very clear topless 'caps from the German movie "Reise nach Weimar" (1996).

    Lea Mornar Topless, plus a little bit of bum in scenes from "Stunde des Wolfs" (1999).

    This week's theme....Cleavage from American TV.

    Rebecca Ferratti The former bunny-person (June '86) almost topless in a sweaty love scene from one of my favorite TV shows of the early 90's, "Sweating Bullets" aka "Tropical Heat". This was part of the "Crime Time After Prime Time" series that CBS launched in the 11:30 time slot (pre-Letterman), along with "Silk Stalkings", "Forever Knight", and "Dark Justice".

    "Sweating Bullets" was like the Magnum PI version of "Silk Stalkings". The PI lived in the Florida Keys, always wore Hawaiian print shirts, got beat up at least 2-3 times per episode, and most importantly got it on with a really hot chick before the opening credits of every episode. They really pushed the nudity limits too as you can see in these 'caps.

    Melissa Gilbert Very clear down shirt cleavage, plus a love scene (but no goodies) from the made for TV movie, "Soul Collector" (1999).

    Emma Samms Plenty of cleavage and lingerie in scenes from "Dynasty".

    Alex Meneses
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    The model/actress showing off breast and bum exposure by BFD.
  • Link #1...both breasts and bum in scenes from her first movie "Amanda and the Alien"
  • Link #2...topless only in "Amanda and the Alien"
  • Link #3 has undies, a great thong view, and up close and personal breast exposure from the late night series "Hotline", from the episode: "Payback".
  • Link #4...Breasts and phony sex from "Hotline".
  • Link #5...Breasts, bum and more phony sex from "Hotline".
  • Link #6...More fake sex but no goodies in scenes from the late night cable series "Sherman Oaks".

  • Jena Romano
    (1, 2, 3)

    Showing all 3 B's in her only IMDb film credit..."" (2000). Apparently this is a story about a bunch of girls in a house wired with cameras for live Internet video feeds, but with the added twist of a killer hiding in the house. Sounds like something you might see this fall on Fox. Thanks to DeVo.

    Anna Kournikova
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Ana looking hot on the cover and in the pages of the September issue of FHM. Great scans of the tennis babe by KZ.

    Jamie Lee Curtis Always a classic....Jamie Lee looking spectacular in topless 'caps from "Trading Places" (1983). Great collage by Watty.

    The Funnies by Number 6
  • If restaurants functioned like Microsoft...

    Patron: Waiter!

    Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

    Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

    Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

    Patron: No, it's still there.

    Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

    Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

    Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

    Patron: A SOUP bowl!

    Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

    Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?

    Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

    Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

    Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

    Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?

    Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

    Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

    Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

    Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup and the check. I'm running late now.

    Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.

    Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

    Patron: This is potato soup.

    Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

    Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything. [Waiter leaves.]

    Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!

    The check:
    Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . $ 5.00
    Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . $ 2.50
    Access to support . . . . . . . . . . $75.00
    (Bug in the soup included at no extra charge - will be fixed with tomorrow's Soup of the Day)

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