In general, Helen Mirren's career is highly distinguished, especially in TV,
where she has won three BAFTAs in six nominations, and three Emmys
from a very impressive total of nine nominations. Her stage roles
have earned her nominations for two Tonys and two Oliviers. Her film
career is also first-rate. She has won the Best Actress award at
Cannes twice, and has been nominated for two Oscars and three BAFTAs.
Here's her filmography.
- (7.77) -
- (7.68) -
Good Friday (1980)
- (7.36) -
Mother's Son (1996)
- (7.30) -
- (7.29) -
Madness of King George (1994)
- (7.20) -
- (7.09) -
- (7.02) -
Like It (1978)
- (7.00) -
the Thief His Wife & Her Lover (1989)
- (7.00) -
- (6.98) -
- (6.90) -
- (6.89) -
Angels Fear to Tread (1991)
- (6.87) -
The Making of a Hero (1990)
- (6.80) -
Pascali's Island (1988)
- (6.80) -
- (6.80) -
Prince of Egypt (1998)
- (6.72) -
- (6.70) -
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
- (6.67) -
Whales Came (1989)
- (6.56) -
Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone (2003)
- (6.43) -
Comfort of Strangers (1990)
- (6.42) -
- (6.40) -
- (6.40) -
Mosquito Coast (1986)
- (6.39) -
- (6.32) -
- (6.12) -
Midsummer Night's Dream (1968)
- (6.08) -
- (6.08) -
- (6.03) -
The Odyssey Continues (1984)
- (6.03) -
- (6.01) -
- (5.81) -
- (5.71) -
- (5.66) -
Passion of Ayn Rand (1999)
- (5.40) -
of Jutland (1994)
- (4.91) -
Mrs. Tingle (1999)
- (4.62) -
- (4.50) -
- (4.35) -
Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu (1980)
Suffice it to see that she's not likely to appear in any David
Spade movies any time soon, but she actually did have kind of a slump
in her career around 1979-1980 when she made three consecutive
stinkers before The Long Good Friday elevated her to the British
A-List. If your dream has always been to see the distinguished Dame
Helen Mirren in one of her rare stinkers, here's an opportunity.
Mirren plays a floozy working in a low-rent British nightclub, and
runs through all the standard clichés of movie melodrama: she has an
abusive and possessive ex-boyfriend, she's a hooker who is only doing
it to give her child a better life, she meets a humble limo driver who
hopes to rescue her from the life, and so forth. The script is weak
and predictable to begin with but it seems as inventive and witty as
the work of Charlie Kaufman compared to the background atmosphere,
which is close to unbearable. This damned film is almost a musical!
Many scenes take place in the nightclub, which features the worst
performers and the worst songs in the history of the English stage,
dating back at least to Ethelred the Unready. The director apparently
must have scoured the entire British empire to find both a gay male
a black female entertainer who can't sing or dance. What are the odds?
already did an outstanding job on these images - find them in
the July 26th edition - so I gave the film itself a light
once-over, but I call your attention to the first image below,
which comes from the DVD special features and represents a scene
which is not in the film, one which I've not seen before.
Lucky Louie Intro: Anal Sex Discussion
... "Louis CK and Kimberly Hawthorne in bed and discussing the
ol' poop chute."
Mel Gibson's most important movie may not
be released. (There's an audio
and visual record of the arrest.)
- I say release it to theaters, under
the title "American History XI."
Rob Schneider says he's not going to take
any more of Mel Gibson's phone calls
... or maybe only half of them because he's only half Jewish.
One thing certain: he's not willing to take the lead role in
Passion of the Christ 2,
"In God We Trust" at 50: President's
Remarks to Concerned Women for America Celebrating Golden
Anniversary of Church & State (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)
An entire religion based on the worship of
"Bush Awards Mel Gibson the Presidential
Medal of Freedom" ... President:
"Thanks for Taking the Heat off Me This Week'"
Colbert's peeve today: milk
Colbert explains the technological marvel
that is his "on notice" board
Colbert takes a phone call
more phone calls
Colbert defends marriage
Big Gals Plus Size Lingerie Club
The Daily Show looks at the Army's
dismissal of a gay Arabic translator
- they asked him if he was involved in community theater!
The Daily Show looks at the President's
Daily Show: Stewart - Heat Index.
- "Good Morning America goes the extra
mile in their continuing series, 'We Think You're Incredibly
Florida's Family Values - the Daily Show
looks back at ten years of crazy Florida stories
Man Accused of Tapping Power for 14 Years
- You'd think they might have been
suspicious a bit earlier. He wasn't a hermit out in the
wilderness, but a suburban guy who was simply by-passing the
electric meter on his home.
Johnnie Cochran's headstone declares "OJ
Guess which group is going to record a new
album ... HINT: their last one
was 27 years ago.
Here's the trailer for The Grudge 2
The first six minutes of 'The Illusionist'
You think you have a bad job? It's better
than being a guard at Gitmo.
Americans Not Warming to Al Gore
- Americans' views of Al Gore are
unchanged, though he has received a great deal of publicity
for his well-received documentary on global warming.
Here's a fun new site to try:
The pilot for Studio 60 in the Sunset Strip
has apparently been leaked to the internet.
(If it is a leak, it may well be gone by the time you read
- They will probably pull it, but they
should not. Leaking this was actually a master stroke of
marketing, because the internet is buzzing about it, and the
pilot is absolutely terrific.
The trailer for Man of the Year
- Robin Williams stars as a comedian
very much like Jon Stewart who runs for president - and wins!
Gibson Converts to Judaism
... Changes Name to Mel Gibstein
- The news took many Jews aback, since
conversion to Judaism is a demanding process that can take
months or even years of study, and Mr. Gibson accomplished the
feat in a record time of forty-five minutes. But a spokesman
for the "Lethal Weapon" star explained how Mr. Gibson pulled
off his lightning-fast conversion: "This is Hollywood -- a lot
of things can be done by special effects."
- Mr. Gibstein, whose Lexus LS sedan
now sports a license plate reading "LCHAIM," said that he was
"thoroughly enjoying being a Jew" and vowed to only shop
wholesale from now on.
According to her spokesperson:
Marie Osmond was hospitalized for a bad
reaction to medication, not a suicide attempt
Freddy Fender has incurable cancer
Colbert rants against the anti-smoking
Colbert Report: Cuba Libre! Our plan to
slowly deteriorate Castro's health over the course of 50 years
Colbert teaches kids about Carnivals:
Part 1 ...
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
The Jess Franco Comedy Double Bill
After finishing Succubus, Jess Franco was elated with the performance of
Janine Renaud, and decided to use her again, but in a different genre. It
occurred to him to make a detective comedy based on characters like Laurel and
Hardy or Abbott and Costello, but with women, one of whom would be a blonde
bimbo. For his dumb blonde, he recruited the Argentine actress Rosanna Yanni,
whom he had always wanted to work with. The entire idea seemed so good to him
that he decided to shoot two films back to back with essentially the same cast
Two Undercover Angels (1969) is the first of the two Franco
comedies. IMDb lists it as El Caso de las dos bellezas
Renaud and Yanni play freelance detectives, although they seem to have
connections to Interpol. It is never actually clear whom they work for, but
their task is to get to the bottom of an epidemic of disappearing models and
go-go dancers. As the detectives get deeper into the case, it is evident who
is responsible: an artist and his werewolf-like assistant. But could it be
that our girls are the real targets?
This is a C-. This is not the sort of film I expect with Jess Franco at the
helm, but it's an OK comedy, although the two women reminded me more of
Maxwell Smart than Laurel and Hardy. IMDb comments are generally favorable, although several complained about
the English dubbing, which was done by professional German voice actors.
IMDb readers say 5.1.
Kiss Me, Monster (1969) is the other film shot at the same time as
Two Undercover Angels, and is a sequel. The two films together are sometimes
marketed as Red Lips. This time, Janine Renaud and Rossana Yanni have a
nightclub act and hope to get to Vegas, but are also still in detective work.
They are hired to get to the bottom of a secret society that is creating a
race of supermen.
This second film is a low C-. The plot in the sequel is even more minimal
than in the first one, and most of the humor is supposed to come from a
running gag where everyone they talk to gets a knife in the back just before
they are to say something useful. Jess Franco admits this one didn't do as well in the box office.
IMDb readers say 4.4
NOTES ON THE DVD:
Both films are available from Blue Underground in a two-disk package which
sports decent transfers, trailers, and interviews with the eternally colorful
and candid Jess Franco. In his commentary, Franco accuses his producers of
being totally clueless about film, and frequently making bad decisions. He
also mentions that neither the Spanish nor German producers liked either of
these films, but changed their tunes when both made money. He also mentions
that it was never his intention to make films for the masses, but is pleased
that so many of the current generation seem to enjoy his work. On the basis of
the fact that these are Franco's only comedies, and given the candid nature of
the interviews, this boxed set is a must-own for Franco fans.
Pat's comments in yellow...
At Wookey Hole Caves children's museum in Somerset, England, a
rare Steiff teddy bear named Mabel that was once owned by Elvis Presley and
valued at $75,000 was destroyed Sunday when a security dog went berserk and
ripped its head off. The manager called it "a horrific mess," with "bits of
teddy bear everywhere," and said the owner who loaned it to them is "not
pleased at all." Security guard Greg West said Barney the Doberman had
been a model guard dog for six years, and he doesn't know if he smelled
something on the bear that triggered a primal instinct or if he was jealous
because "I was just stroking Mabel and saying what a nice little bear she
* Being a security guard is lonely work.
* Barney has to be vicious because Greg doesn't exactly scare the criminals
At an education conference at Oxford, Philip Parkin, general secretary of the
UK Professional Association of Teachers, suggested that teachers should take
lessons from actors. He said new research found that kids lose interest when
teachers lecture them in hoarse, breathy or monotonous voices, but they
remember more when teachers vary the tone and pitch of their voices. So he
believes teachers should take training from actors to help them hold students'
* Unfortunately, nobody heard his
advice because they all fell asleep during his speech.