Montenegro (1981), AKA Montenegro or Pigs and Pearls, is a Swedish comedy that scores very highly on what Reel.com used to call "off beat energy." In other words, it is just plain strange. For some, including me, that is a good thing. IMDb readers have it at 6.4 of 10. While the IMDb summary is sort of correct, is does not really give you an idea about the film. Marilyn Jordan (Susan Aspach), an American, is married to a rich Swede who prefers making more riches to doing anything with his wife and two kids. She is feeling neglected, and that she is coming apart. If only she had trusted those feelings and done something about it. One night when he refuses sex, she lights the bed sheets on fire. She makes schnitzel for breakfast, then eats all of it before the family can get to it. Later, she pours poison into their new dog's milk dish, and then lets to dog decide whether or not to drink it. Clearly, she has more than one screw lose. Her father in law, a man in a wheel chair who fancies himself Buffalo Bill and is advertising for a new wife, lives with them. Her husband brings in a shrink.
Her husband is scheduled to leave on yet another business trip, and she decides to go with him. She has trouble at airport security when they discover hedge clippers in her purse, and is detained and searched. While in security, she meets a young Yugoslav girl, Patricia Gelin, which gets her involved with a who community of Yugoslavs who run a still and a strip club. To call them eccentric would be a massive understatement. That is enough setup. If this appeals to you and you haven't seen it, it is well worth a rental. There is lots of nudity. Anspach shows full frontal in a long shot taking a shower, and breasts in a sex scene. Gelin shows everything performing at the strip club with a vibrator mounted on a radio controlled tank, Lisbeth Zachrisson shows bush in an after sex scene, and Marina Lindahl shows one breast.
The film claims to be based on a true story. Maybe, but much of the film is rather improbable. Then again, West Side Story is based on Romeo and Juliette, but the two are not all that much alike. It is in English, and has a passable transfer, the original trailer, and a few cast bios. This film is certainly not for everyone, but if you like the offbeat, this has it. And the ending is worth the watch alone. By defining the genre as quirky dark comedy, the proper score is C+. For those who like the truly wacky, this delivers. Others will find nothing of interest.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Nude Playmate Gallery - Stacy Sanches - Playmate of the Year in
1996 - Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
Four free short videos from Playboy Big Breast Babes!
- Today's Hold 'Em poker discussion:
Which is a better hole hand, 10-9 unsuited or 9-3 suited?
Drum Beats from the Green Felt Jungle - Mr Kotter wins a quarter
mill playing Hold 'Em at the Mirage. Tobey Maguire has
taken a 15th and a 24th in two recent tourneys at the Mirage.
Kerry Versus Bush on Issues and Characteristics: Pre- and
EW readers and editors pick their favorite movie lines
Is Madonna's marriage on the rocks? Does this mean that
Guy Richie can go back to making cool movies again?
Hacking was hacking in her sleep, so Hacking hacked Hacking.
Hacking also golfs to a 22 handicap so he's a .... no ... sorry, I
can't keep doing this crap.
It is possible that Earth life could have originated on Mars.
No, it isn't from Weekly World News. It really is possible.
- You say you have cash and want the 2012 Olympics in your city?
Hell, if you bribe the right guys, you can have the Olympics in
You think Linda Lovelace was good at deep throat? Wait until you
The trailer from September Tapes : "Eight tapes were
found where the last known battle between Osama bin Laden and
rebel forces took place in the Taliban stronghold of Southern
Afghanistan. These tapes reveal filmmaker Don Larson's travels to
the war-torn country of Afghanistan six months after 9/11 and
follow him and a bounty hunter on the trailer of Osama bin Laden.
In this rare look behind-the-scenes of war-torn Afghanistan, the
filmmaker, his cameraman, and their translator/guide find
themselves traveling in the middle of a battleground, camera in
hand, capturing raw footage and encountering dangerous Taliban
Eight clips from Little Black Book (Romantic comedy
with Ron Livingston and Brittany Murphy)
Clinton is the only non-musical guest on Letterman's 'Late Show'
- You saw The Manchurian Candidate, now watch
The Bavarian Candidate
The complete collection of euphemisms for naughty deeds and
Some stills from Shall We Dance: "Based on the original
1996 Japanese feature film, the film follows a businessman
(Richard Gere) who takes ballroom dancing lessons to impress a
beautiful young dance teacher (J-Lo). Gere and J-Lo ... so what are
the odds of this movie sucking? I figure somewhere around 104%
How did that company get its name? A list of company name
- Funny video:
OBEY THE SIGNS... AND LIVE!
A space shuttle launch, as viewed from a camera mounted on the
PITMAN - Dry Pits Win!
- You remember the subservient chicken? Well, here's the
Subservient President, awaiting your command. (Hint -
type in Michael Moore)
no sex in the U.S.S.R."
An estimated 15,000 hopefuls began arriving in Cleveland at 6 a.m.
and planned to sleep out all night for a shot at American Idol
Blond bombshell Pam Anderson goes literary with new novel:
The shapely actress is criss-crossing the United States signing
copies of her first book, which was written ... um ... "with the
help of" ... ghostwriter Eric Shaw Quinn. It relates the fictional
-- yet somehow familiar -- story of a late-blooming young girl who
rises to fame and fortune in Hollywood on a television show called
Bay 'Lifeguards Inc.'
According to the Daily Show, Tom Ridge raised the terror alert
from "be afraid" to "be very afraid"
Hitler Doctor Doom!"
Researchers develop shark repellent for bat utility belt
If Simpson's characters mated ...
Test Your Geography Knowledge- USA (Also many other
- Nostalgia. The biggest, baddest collection of
Movie Title Screens. I'm ashamed to admit that I
Saddam Hussein: Honorary citizen of Detroit, Michigan
Oh, hell, anybody can become a Detroit citizen if they have a
thousand or more murders. It's automatic. I think he's also a
citizen of Miami and the Bronx.
The Paris Hilton "beat up" pics. This story says Paris
was hit by her boyfriend, but it does not quote a reliable news
Black-&-blue Paris not blaming Nick. In fact, she's not
discussing it at all.
Halle: 'Plastic surgery is insane' I agree, but ask her
again in ten years, and see if she still feels the same way.
STEVEN Spielberg has postponed 'Vengeance,' his movie
about the successful hunt for the Palestinians who attacked the
Israeli Olympic team at the 1972 Munich games.
Janet Jackson's nightclub brawl: "Sexy singer Janet
Jackson was reportedly held back by security guards in a Los
Angeles night club last week, after she tried to punch a man who
was being rude about her brother Michael."
Roger "The Rocket" Clemens tossed by the ump - from a
little league game!
Shaq vs. Kobe on ABC, Christmas Day!
- You have to love the Engrish in Pravda's headlines -
Vending Machines to be outed in France! Do they need to
be "outed"? Wasn't it obvious? They always play show tunes.
Extraterrestrial visitor in Russian province as told in
PRAVDA, or as I like to call it, Weekly World Newsky (Nevsky)
Moscow policeman shoots at a subway passenger with no ticket.
"Chewing gum in line? I hope you brought enough for everyone ... "
Judge's rulings could force prosecution to re-evaluate Kobe
prosecution. I was not able to find a link to the
actual released documents. I suppose The Smoking Gun will have it
soon. I'll keep an eye out.
Frenchman retains snail-spitting world title, but the
French tremble when Lance Armstrong shows an interest in the sport
ESPN suggests appearance music for baseball old-timers.
Michael Vick won't cut his hair until he wins Super Bowl
Dave Chappelle renews with Comedy Central for $50 million.
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at the premiere of the last Star Wars
Determination of cat tongue length using the "white wine" method
"Family Matters" star now does porn (with xxx pictures
The IMDb listing for Jaimee Foxworth confirms that she's now known
as adult star Crave
kiss my bitter ass - the shitty tipper database
- News from Japan:
"Hornets From Hell" offer real-life fright and are made into a
The Good Wife's Guide: "Housekeeping Monthly" - May 13, 1955
MLB Power Rankings: Cards in #1 spot
The (cow)bell tolls for Nomar. Excellent in-depth
analysis of Normar's recent value to the the Red Sox
Vikings coach Mike Tice 'singing the company's jingle' in a
Dave Chappelle: Laughing all the way to the bank
JoBlo interviews Natalie Portman
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Shiloh was the man
today. Somebody asked for the scene in Entourage with Jessica Alba
hosting a party, and Shiloh delivered the goods. She is fully
dressed, but poking through her top, sucking a lollipop, and hey,
she's Jessica Alba, dammit. Unedited footage. ( .avi- zip) (.wmv -
Elodie Bouchez, naked
as usual in CQ ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip). This movie was directed by Roman Coppola,
Sophie's brother, Francis Ford's son. He did a good job. The movie
is not consistently good, mostly because it treads on the well-worn
path of films about filmmaking, but it has some brilliant
moments. In my opinion, it is worth sitting through the bad bits
just to see Billy Zane's hilarious portrayal of a Che Guevara from
A few more .wmv conversions from
Nastassja Kinski, 18 or 19 years old, way back in
1978, in Cosi come sei (AKA- Stay as You Are)
(.wmv - zip)
Raquel Welch in
L'Animal. She is torrid in this see-through top. (AKA-
Stay as You Are) (.wmv - zip)
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Spaz had a twenty-word review the past weekend of a
girls-in-prison-movie. Most useful twenty words I've
read in a long time. Went something like this: it's
not an exploitation flick so there is no communal
shower scene, no abusive female guards, no male rapist
guards, no lesbian contact between inmates.
Now the mirror image of such a movie is Lust for
Freedom (1987). All I need to say is that it IS an
exploitation girls-in-prison movie. So there is a
communal shower scene, an abusive female guard who has
an inmate whipped, a male guard who forces himself on
an inmate and a girl-meet-girl scene between inmates.
That makes Lust a standard, run-of-the-mill girls
behind bars movie. What makes Lust stand out is all
the above occurs in a five-minute stretch. Three of
the magic four are filmed as if they are going on
simultaneously...in adjacent cells...as the wrongly
imprisoned good girl looks on passively. And okay,
she'd just gotten the shit kicked out of her by the
bad inmates, but there is plenty to suggest the lack
of emotion is SOP for the actress playing our
protagonist (one Melanie Coll, whose career in
Hollywood spanned this entire film).
Before and after the fabulous five minutes is
bullshit. Pure, unrefined, in fact distilled to its
very essence bullshit.
Gal is a cop, sees her betrothed blown away in a drug
bust gone bad, moves to Georgia County... which is
either in Arizona or West Texas, around El Paso
somewhere, maybe Van Horn, who the fuck knows. Gets
thrown into prison for no reason whatsoever after she
picks up a gal, who just disappears and then is gunned
down after a burly native American guy in a van runs
down her 240Z. This is some ass-kicking van because
later it runs down a GTO. Gals in prison are there
because about 142 people, including all the guards,
all the local cops, the warden, the judge,
everyfuckingbody in their little Van Horn planet is
blessed with no conscience at all. Not one little bit
of an inner voice that says stuffing women into prison
so you can drug them and film them in snuff movies is
just not the right way to lead one's life.
That's the drama side...just the smelliest bullshit
you have ever encountered. What about the action?
Two little sequences sum up the quality of the action
1) Main gal gets jumped by another inmate but 'cuz
she's a cop, you know, and a badass mofo-in' cop at
that she flips the other gal over and adopts the most
ridiculous martial arts posture you will ever see.
Arms a-flaillin', hopping 'round like a toad, with all
the grace of Chevy Chase doing a Gerald Ford
impression. Never been done better, not even in the
very best parody by the most gifted physical comedian.
Hilarious stuff. Unintentional, but hilarious.
2) Then, towards the end when the cop-gal gets herself
armed with a fully automatic weapon, almost a SAW but
not quite so large, and she puts a couple o' rounds
into a male guard, he starts to slump forward. I can
see that. About a third of the way, down, however, he
flings his shotgun onto the desk in front of him.
Doesn't throw it, in some last act of defiance against
the world that made then abandoned him. He just
tosses it, in the most girlish act, as if he could
hear Sister Mary walking down the hall and he knew,
just knew, she was going to rap his knuckles with her
ruler if she caught him dead with a shotgun in his
hands. Silliest damn thing I have seen in any movie
in my entire life, ever.
There are two ways to view all this. The writer could
be a genius with a comedic irony streak running
through him that would make Jon Stewart look like Bill
O'Reilly. Or Dennis Miller. In that case it's all
the director's fault. Every last bit of this
monumental failure in style and substance could be
placed at his feet.... in that case. But wait, the
writer IS the director, one Eric Louzil. IMDb has the
boy writing, directing or producing just about every
movie with a score under 2.0 in the entire database.
Sizzle Beach, Class of Nuke Em High Part 2, Wilding,
every damn piece of flotsam and jetsam you could
So okay you get the message, this one of watch with
all ten fingers on the fastforward button. What's the
Well, that would be eight gals topless or better.
One of them is Michelle Bauer, default B-movie babe of
the 80's and 90's in all her full frontal glory.
Another is Lisa Stagno, better known as 80's pornstar
Crystal Breeze. She had a perfect body, BTW, and is
the one who does the lesbo-lite routine with Michelle.
And Pamela Gilbert, topless and drugged as the
Plus a scrawny redhead named Adrian Scott, who did
this movie and had a bit part in The Doors. Full
frontal from her, too.
Minor characters also give up some goodies.
Mary Robinson flashes our Native American friend in
his van... which is not a good idea in downtown
Philadelphia, surrounded by cops but is criminally
stupid on a lonely county road.
Elizabeth Carroll plays an inmate. You see her face
with her shirt on. You see soom hooters in a shirt
that's been cut off. Problem here is that the cut up
shirt is in shot that precedes the face shot with the
intact shirt. Conclusion? Body double.
Last up you see a couple of fine looking gals in a
shower. Unnamed fine looking gals.
Let us finish by noting this is a Troma Productions
film and that the transfer to DVD was done as if by a
group of amateurs, neither terribly bright nor
particularly intereted. Ah, dear reader, but I repeat
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost takes a look at the 1993 UK movie "The Advocate" aka "The Hour of the Pig". This well written, intellectual courtroom drama received high marks from both Scoop and Tuna (Click here for their full reviews). And it had some nice nudity too!
- Amina Annabi, the Tunisian born actress showing off some nice robo-breast views.
- Amina Annabi (.wmv zip)
- UK actress Lysette Anthony goes full frontal!
- Lysette Anthony (.wmv-zip)
- Sophie Dix, all 3 B's as she strips, then gets it on.
- Sophie Dix zipped .wmvs
||Looking slim and pretty cute on Monday night's Leno.
|Valeria Bruni Tedeschi
||The sister of Italian model Carla Bruni. Here she is topless in a scene from the 1990 French film, "La Baule-les-Pins". 'Caps by Dragonscan.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the beatufil blonde baring a bit of breast in scenes from "100 Women" aka "Girl Fever".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
ELVIS IMPERSONATOR LOVES CALL GIRLS
Are You Lonesome Tonight? - Tom Jones, a pensioner and Elvis impersonator
from Oswestry, England, has been warned by housing authorities to stop
hiring call girls so he can sing Elvis songs to them. Over the past three
years, he's paid over $127,000 (US) to over 2,000 call girls. He says he
can't have sex anymore due to a medical condition, so he just has dinner
with them, talks and sings Elvis tunes. But neighbors complain that their
kids are subjected to Elvis songs coming through the walls at all hours and
miniskirted women in fishnets in the halls.
At least they wear panties...White, cotton panties.
We've finally found an Elvis impersonator so bad, he has to pay the
audience to listen to him.
If Tom Jones were a Tom Jones impersonator, he wouldn't have to pay
women to come to his room.
MOST 30-YEAR-OLDS ARE STILL CHILDREN
The Baby Boomer Legacy - Surveys in Britain and America both found that
most people today are still children at 30. "Adulthood" was defined as
completing your education, leaving home and becoming financially
independent. Only 46 percent of men today have done all three by age 30,
compared with 65 percent in 1960. Dr. Elisa Ferri of Britain's Economic
and Social Research Council said, "The delay in reaching adulthood is more
and more pronounced."
Sometimes, it makes her cry.
Any woman would tell you that most men are still children at 50.
They used to define "adulthood" as having kids of your own, but that's
now called "junior high."
Or Swingin' Bachelors, Like Rock Hudson - A 1957 survey found that back
then, people considered unmarried, childless 30-year-olds to be "selfish,
peculiar or morally flawed."
You know: gay.
Unless they were priests.
So if you're still living with your parents, at least show some
maturity: have a kid!
HALLE SLAMS PLASTIC SURGERY
Your Husband Still Cheats On You - Halle Berry said people who get plastic
surgery to look younger are "insane." She said women start mutilating
their faces in their thirties, and it's a slippery slope, where you pull
one side tight, then you think, "Oh my God, I've got to do the other side."
Halle said, "Beauty is essentially meaningless, and it is always
transitory," adding that "being thought of as 'a beautiful woman' has
spared me nothing in life. No heartache, no trouble."
No speeding tickets...
Still, it's the ONLY reason anyone's going to see "Catwoman."
But when she's thought of as an "older woman," she will have "no work."
FARRELL'S WILLY IS NO BIG THING
Blown Out Of Proportion - Dallas Roberts, Colin Farrell's co-star in "A
Home At The End Of The World," quashed rumors that Farrell's nude scene was
cut because his equipment was so big, it startled women and made men feel
inferior. He said Farrell "has nothing to be ashamed of," but the scene
drew more guffaws than gasps, and was dropped just because it was too
distracting. He said it made the audience think, "Oh look, there's a movie
NOT, "Oh look, that movie star has three legs."
It looked big, but remember: the screen is 30 feet high.
Fortunately, the director didn't find it too distracting when the female
star showed her ta-tas.
Only 50? - Over the weekend, "Dukes of Hazzard" fans from as far away as
Australia jammed Bristol, Tennessee, for Dukesfest 2004, a 25th anniversary
celebration. Tom Wopat and John Schneider were unavailable, but most of
the surviving cast reunited. Catherine "Daisy Duke" Bach still looked
great but sadly for fans, wore a sundress instead of shorts. They had
country music, stunt car jumping, and 50 replicas of the "General Lee" '69
People are still trying to find their own car in the parking lot.
Wonder who was lucky enough to get the beer concession?
And they say there are no romantic places to take your cousin.