Sunday

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To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

• Netscape 6.2.2 is available free for download or on CD.
• MSIE 6.0 is available free.

Women in Film (2001) I ordered this DVD assuming it was some sort of Documentary, and, since it had a personal favorite, Beverly D'Angelo, I thought it might be worth watching. Instead, it is an independent film, and one of the worst I have ever suffered through. It has exactly three characters, Beverly D'Angelo as a famous Producer who wants to remake an Italian film, Marianne Jean-Baptiste as a casting director, married to a TV producer, who can't except their blind son, and Portia De Rossi as a wannabe writer, who gives massages to the stars, steals their personal energy, and pilfers anything that appeals to her from their homes. She is also not above including sex with her rubs, and has a thing with Jean_Baptiste's husband. She also impersonates another star to get an appointment to D'Angelo's shrink, who figures out she is an imposter, and De Rossi hits her with a paper weight and escapes. This is really the only thing the three have in common.

The entire film is monologues through the fourth wall delivered by the three women. There is no more than one actress in any segment. They cut randomly from one to another, and have title placards between what they consider acts. There are occasional witticisms in the dialogue, but, on the whole, it is the most pretentious I have ever heard. It is a tribute to the three actresses that they could actually deliver the lines. The film purports to show what Hollywood is like for women in the business, but I came away with no new insights. D'Angelo has a potty mouth throughout, wit lines like "Gag me with a Horsecock," "I was afraid she was going to stick a finger in my twat" and "I don't know where she finds time to lick pussy." The film was shot on digital video in a month on a budget of less than 100K. Editing was extremely rough with very few smooth transitions, and lots of really jarring jump cuts. They used lots of filters. In the world of this film, bedroom seem to be orange, bathrooms yellow, and the outside world pink.

There is some good news here, however, and it is very good news indeed. Beverly D'Angelo shows her breasts in numerous scenes, and possible a hint of bush in the bath. Portia De Rossi shows everything, including bush in the bathtub, a swimming scene, and assorted other nudity. We also get to see D"Angelo taking a dump, and De Rossi puking in one scene, and wiping her butt in another. These later scenes were added to convince us that this was real life in near real time. WHile this is a definite boon to video cappers, as a film, it is a complete and total mistake. It is no surprise that the world premier is Tuesday on DVD. F.

Movies

Chelsea Walls is so bad that it goes beyond our poor mortal powers to conceive or imagine the ultimate badness. No nudity.

The unknown from yesterday's Body and Soul pics is Rosanne Katon, another former Playmate

Other crap

• Dick Cheney still dead.
• Remember Wacky Packages? Here's everything you ever wanted to know about them.
• From David Letterman. The Top 10 perks of being Osama Bin Laden's son
• One of our favorite papers, The Sun, also has a fashion department. Today, they look at bulge-enhancing pants and underwear.
• Tragical History Tour. The official Rutles home page
• I haven't seen Master of Disguise, but I love the reviews. Here's the 2% score at RT

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

"Let's Do It!" (1982) is an ultra-rare sex comedy about a guy with a major mother complex who can't get it up for his girlfriend's (Britt Helfer) 18th birthday so he engages in the services of various women. Cast includes Betsy Russell ("Tomboy", "Avenging Angel") in her first role in a bit part. Monique Gabrielle and Brinke Stevens are listed in the Internet Movie Database but are uncredited in unidentified roles.

• Britt Helfer: all three Bs plus a good full frontal in shower (1, 2, 3)

• Victoria Wells: shows her robo-hooters as the old hooker with a heart of gold.

• Missy Cleveland (aka Amanda Cleveland): Hefmate as much younger hooker with a heart of gold.

• Bobbi Van Eman: dark full frontal as biology teacher with a heart of gold.

• Pati Blankenship: full frontal as sex surrogate with a heart of gold. (1, 2)

• Margo Motter: mega-cleavage and good full frontal in shower.

• Elodie McKee: breasts as the mother who breastfed the title character until puberty.

• Betsy Russell: first-time role in clothed bit part before she found out that in order to get better roles she will have to show her boobs.

• Unknowns: various unknowns and unidentified boob shots, which may include Monique Gabrielle and Brinke Stevens.

The Spanish weekly magazine "Interviu" is celebrating its 25th anniversary this year. Interviu features mainly articles about politics, economy, and themes of social interest, erring a bit on side of sensationalism. Each issue includes a couple spreads featuring mostly nude celebs.

All these years they have been an outstanding source of reliable material. For one thing, their paparazzi are among the best in Europe. They also manage to get exclusive shots with celebrities once in a while, and often get them to show more skin than any other magazine.

As a small tribute, I have compiled a few collages with some of their covers ranging from the 80's to today. Most are posing topless, and all of the women are some of the most gorgeous in the world.

• Covers part 1 with Natalia Estrada, Aitana Sanchez-Gijon, Traci Birgham, Ines Sastre, Iman and Yvonne Reyes.

• Covers part 2 with Sam Fox, Mar Flores, Helen Lindes, Manuela Arcuri, Anna Falchi and Annalise Braakensiek.

• Covers part 3 with Angelica Bridges, Victoria Silvstedt, Michela Bruni, Carmen Electra, Natalia Estrada and Madonna.

• Covers part 4 with Claudia Schiffer, Naomi Campbell, Jacqueline de la Vega, Natalia Estrada, Arianne Brown and Yvonne Reyes.

• Covers part 5 with Eva Sannum, Adriana Karembeu, Carre Otis, Valeria Marini, Heather Mills and Natalia Estrada.

• Covers part 6 with Laetitia Casta, Inma del Moral, Ines Sastre, Marlene Mourreau, Paola Santoni and Jordan.

As a bonus, I also included a paparazzi shot of Vicenta Ndongo (one of the chicks from the very funny "Airbag"), a brand new papparazi of Carmen Janeiro, a Spanish model and TV celebrity, and a nice shot of the Italian Sabrina Salerno. All these of course scanned from Interviu as well.

• Vicenta Ndongo
• Carmen Janeiro
• Sabrina Salerno

• Lee Anne Beaman shows breasts, bum and bush. (1, 2, 3, 4)

• Gabriella Hall, topless and rear nudity. (1, 2, 3)

• Kiara Hunter, robo-hooters and thong views.

• Kate Rodger, plenty of breast exposure, plus a little rear nudity as well as bush (links 5 and 6).
  (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)