The Human Contract


You'll not be astonished to read here that it's a lot easier to write and direct your own films if you have an incredible amount of wealth and a husband who is one of the biggest superstars in movie history. The Human Contract marks the debut of Jada Pinkett Smith as the author of a full-length screenplay, as well as her debut as the director of a feature-length film. She and husband Will produced the film.

The premise:

A massive conglomerate is looking to buy a boutique advertising agency and convert it to an in-house advertising/marketing department. Two agencies will pitch head-to-head for the account. The head of one of the ad agencies is confident that his young marketing genius will have the right ideas, but is not so sanguine about the whiz kid's private life. The conglomerate is an ultra-conservative family firm which has built a squeaky clean image upon a "family values" platform, but our hero is about to get divorced, seems to have some dark secrets, and has an explosively violent temper.

He also runs into a major complication in the days running up to the big presentation. A beautiful, free-spirited woman seduces him, and leads him into sexual adventures which would scotch the deal if the lily-white conglomerate found out about them. To make matters worse, she is a married women, which would be a total deal-breaker.

Will he be able to keep his life under control long enough to close the big deal?

Jada Pinkett played a little game with this script. She set it up as an erotic thriller. About thirty minutes into the film, it seems obvious that the seductress must be working for the opposing agency, trying to discredit our hero in the eyes of the conservative conglomerate. This becomes even more apparent when she insists on filming some of their adventures. Then it turns out that is not the case at all, and the film plays out as a serious (if contrived) drama about a tragically doomed romance between wounded people. There is good and bad news about laying out a film with that strategy. The good news is that it is original and subverts genre conventions, so the plot never really goes where one expects it to, and that can be interesting. The bad news is that it makes the entire set-up a waste of time, in essence a very long red herring. The big competition between the two agencies is never used as part of the plot. The film would play out exactly the same if the second agency did not exist at all. The seductress just turns out to be a quirky, free-spirited woman who is trying to get through the defenses of an uptight corporate soldier. That's all.

There is also a second storyline involving the executive's family - a mother with a tragic past, and a sister with an abusive husband. All of that heavy drama folds together uneasily with the erotic relationship, at least until the erotic relationship becomes just as laden with tragedy. Frankly, the entire film just doesn't work. The erotica is not original, nor very erotic. All of the main characters are unsympathetic. The secrets are not very interesting, and their revelation is downplayed, generating nothing more than a reaction of "That's it? So what?" There is never a clear connection between the main character's dark secrets and his present unhappiness. Parts of the exposition prove to have been unnecessary (like the second ad agency). Worse than unnecessary, those parts are boring. Finally, the payoff is flat, and the resolution of the romantic relationship is unsatisfying in many ways.

The Smith's money was enough to get her the jobs and the budget, but it was not persuasive enough to land a theatrical distribution deal. Obviously, a lot of potential distributors had the same kinds of reactions I had to this odd film, thus forcing it straight to video. Nonetheless, there were things I admired about The Human Contract. The sets are interesting, and the visuals are sometimes spectacular. The script tries to deal with complex and profound ideas, and some scenes do work well on their own, even if they don't quite seem to be part of a master plan.

I get the feeling that Jada has talent and may make and/or write good films.

Unfortunately, this is not one of them.

Paz Vega played the seductress and provided the film's kinda-sorta near nudity. (It is very sexy, even though there is less flesh than we would like. Film clips.

Paz Vega looks a lot like Eliza Dushku, at least in this film.



Cable Sunday

Entourage. I don't know the name of the actress who plays Nikki the waitress, but she did this quick flash.

Hung featured this sex scene with Natalie Zea

True Blood featured a continuation of the orgy.





I haven't had time to watch Gigantic yet, but I certainly had time to look at Zooey Deschanel's first topless scene. Maybe I'll have some notes on the movie tomorrow, time permitting.



  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Blown Away

Scoop's note: 1994 film starring two long-time Funhouse and Other Crap faves, the two Coreys, one of whom can be seen naked in the clip and caps, much to our dismay.

Getting to have pretend sex with Nicole Eggert was probably the highlight of Corey Haim's life. Come to think of it, it would be been pretty high up there in my life as well.

Nicole Eggert film clips (screen grabs below)








Hard Ticket to Hawaii


More from this film. Dona Speir hooks up with Hope Marie Carlton in the pool. Bare boobs from both. Caps and a clip.

Then more naked breasts from Hope Marie Carlton. Caps and 2 clips.





TV Land

Over in TV Land we have 3 HD clips and caps of leggy Laura Ingle of "Fox News"








From Yesterday's film clip of Amy Robach & Courtney Hazlett we have the caps that should have gone with it. My bad I never sent it to Scoop.








Notes and collages

Demon Wind


Part 5

Sandra Margot








A recap of all of Johnny's recent nude clips. Some are duplicated here from previous issues.

A film clip of Amber Sainsbury in The Ferryman. Caps below.

A film clip of Alyssa Stringfellow in the debut of "Rescue: Special Ops."


Film clips from The Last Resort: Sita Young and America Olivo. Caps below.



A film clip of Boti Bliss in Pulse 2. Caps below.

A film clip of Steffi Wickens in Kill Theory. Caps below.

A film clip of Emmanuelle Beart in Vinyan. Caps below.

Film clips from The Last House on the Left: Riki Lindhome and Sara Paxton. Caps below.










Jessica Alba in a bikini, post baby

Here's a reminder of when she looked much better in a bikini

Jennifer Love Hewitt plays basketball in a bikini

Cristina Ricci in Black Snake Moan in ultra HD


Film Clips