Tuesday

Tuna
"The Specialist"

The Specialist (1994) is listed at IMDb as a Peruvian film. It is distributed by Warner Brothers, but evidently much of the funding was Peruvian. It was made for $45M, and grossed $170M worldwide. It won numerous Razzies and Razzie nominations, including worst screen couple, worst actor, worst actress, worst supporting actor and worst picture. Sylvester Stallone is an ex CIA explosive specialist, who turned his boss James Woods in for questionable conduct, and both left the agency. Woods went to work for a Miami Mafia head, and Stallone started work as a mercenary. Sharon Stone contacts Stallone to take out the people responsible for murdering her parents years before. He eventually takes the job, which brings him into direct conflict with Woods.

There are a few twists and double crosses before the happy ending, a few fist fights, and some great explosions. Stone shows full frontal in a steamy shower sex scene with Stallone, but you have to watch the full screen version to see everything. Both Widescreen and Fullscreen versions are on the otherwise featureless DVD. IMDb readers have this at 4.7 of 10. Ebert awards 2 stars, and hated it, and Berardinelli awards 1 1/2, and only on the merit of Stone breasts and Stallone's biceps. I hate to admit that I was entertained by this mindless bit of fluff and excitement. Then again, I didn't have high expectations, so the rather weak acting didn't really bother me, and the pace was good enough to hold my interest. This is a C-. If you are int he right mood, you might not find it an unpleasant way to spend a couple of hours.

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  • Sharon Stone (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    OTHER CRAP:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Shiloh

    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

     

    Variety

    • Janet Leigh takes a shower in "Psycho". Is this the most widely imitated scene in movie history? If you count all the elements that have been copied - the shower curtain, the music - maybe so. ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip)

    • Janet Leigh in "Psycho", Part 2 ( .avi- zip) (.wmv - zip)

    • Celebrity lesbonics. Jennifer Tilly and Gena Gershon get it on in "Bound". Not as good as Joan Chen and Anne Heche, but still pretty easy watchin'.  (.avi- zip) (.wmv - zip)

    A few more .wmv conversions from Scoop's corner

     

     

    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
     
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.


    Today from the Ghost...Italian actress/writer/director/producer Asia Argento showing off her great bod in several scenes from "New Rose Hotel" (1998).

    Links 1-3 feature Asia swimming toplesss.
    In link #4 we see Asia and a couple of other people have some pseudo sex (a single exposed breast in this one)
    Link #5...black undies.
    Link #6...beautiful wonderbra cleavage.
    Link #7...topless in an after sex scene.
    Link #8...semi-nude side view with a little breast exposure toward the end.

    Vejiita
    Scoops,

    In yesterday's Fun House I noticed that you wrote that Amy Yip's nipples where 'probably from a body double', but "Sex and Zen" is the only film to date in which Amy Yip exposes her nipples, something she reportedly did under triad coercion.

    Jr's commnets:
    Yep, I've heard that what we see are in fact Yip's nips. However, I'm far from an expert on Hong Kong sortcore, and I've never seen any official source that documents whether or not it's her. I've visited several fan sites online, and some say the nipples are her, others say body double. I suppose the Yip's Nips question is just one of those mysteries in life without an answer. Much like "did Oswald act alone" or "how many licks does it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop". The world may never know.

    Now moving on to today's goodies....

    Rose McGowan and Amy Locane both topless in scenes from "Going All The Way" (1997).

    • Rose McGowan...the girl really needs some sun, but still, what an amazing chest. (1, 2, 3)

    • Amy Locane (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Variety
    Angelina Jolie Here's an awesome production still of Jolie (with lips in full pout-mode) from the upcoming Oliver Stone movie "Alexander".

    Kelly Brook The UK model and actress looking fantastic in a bikini and showing a nipple in 'scenes from the small budget film "Three" (2004) starring Billy Zane.

    Jessica Biel
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    Unfortunately there is no nudity here, but this girl really knows how to wear a tank top! Excellent 'caps by Watty featuring scenes from the recent remake of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre".

    Kari Wuhrer
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

    Señor Skin takes a look at the long time B-movie favorite's first post-implant-removal toplessness. Breasts, bum and even brief pube views (link #11) in scenes from "King of the Ants".

    Mail Bag
    Subject: Jessica Alba/Entourage

    Hey Scoops,

    I haven't seen this scene capped so far, but on one episode of the new HBO series Entourage (a pretty good show IMHO), the boys go to a party hosted by Jessica Alba. When she greets them, she is showing very clear pokies. Does anyone have any 'caps of that scene?

    -Freaky

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    CAT POOP COFFEE DOES TASTE BETTER
    I Prefer Pony Piss Beer - Many people scoffed when they learned the world's most expensive coffee, Kopi Luwak of Ethiopia, which fetches $35 a cup from coffee fanatics, is made from beans swallowed and excreted by wild civet cats. But Prof. Massimo Marcone of Canada's University of Guelph says he's proved it tastes better. He did field research and tests with taste machines and humans and found that the cats' digestion breaks down proteins that make coffee taste bitter. So he says a "crappuccino" does taste better than a cappuccino.

  • Still, the crappuccino isn't selling as well at Starbucks.
  • A crappuccino is the perfect post-show drink after you've watched "Catwoman."
  • You can make it yourself at home by putting Folger's coffee beans in your cat's Meow Mix.
  • Even the Ethiopians were surprised...This really just started as a practical joke on rich American snobs.


    MONA LISA IDENTIFIED
    He Found The Receipt! - After centuries of debate, new research may have finally identified the enigmatic model for the Mona Lisa. Italian teacher Giuseppi Pallanti has found evidence to support the claim that she was Lisa Gherardini, the wife of a wealthy silk merchant who had five children.

  • But this only deepens the mystery of why she was smiling.
  • Five children and TERRIBLE teeth.
  • Before she had the five kids, she used to pose for Vogue.


    PRIEST AND NUN ARRESTED FOR SEX
    Collared! - A 43-year-old Catholic priest and a 26-year-old nun were arrested for public indecency at Lilongwe airport in Malawi after they were caught having sex in a car. The windows were tinted, but passersby were startled by the car's rocking. In a courtroom full of giggling spectators, the priest said that as a man of God, he accepted that Satan had tempted him. The judge gave them six months in prison at hard labor -- then suspended it because they both expressed remorse. But he said they'd go to jail if they did it again within 18 months.

  • But they've never gone that long without sex before!
  • They asked, if they did go to jail, could they have conjugal visits?
  • The Vatican isn't punishing him...They're just relieved it wasn't an altar boy.


    CHINESE PIRATES REWRITE CLINTON'S BOOK
    Yo-Ho-Hos! - Chinese book pirates have already rushed out fake versions of Bill Clinton's "My Life," and Clinton wouldn't even recognize it. In one version, large portions appear to be written by Hillary. In another, Clinton quotes Mao. He also says when he met Hillary in college, "She was as beautiful as a princess. I told her my name is 'Big Watermelon.'" About Monica Lewinsky, the Chinese version declares, "She was very fat. I can never trust my own judgment."

  • She was fat, but her nickname was "Big Watermelons," so...
  • Sounds like the pirates got hold of the first draft.
  • They took the Mao quotes out of Hillary's book.
  • His nickname was Big Watermelon because he left his seed all over the place.