Halloween (1979) was one of the most successful low budget indies ever. John Carpenter was hired on the strength of his first film, Assault on Precinct 13, and because he promised to bring the project in for the $300k budget. He also wrote the script, and composed the music. Worried that they would not be able to draw an audience with a cast consisting of nobodies (like Jamie Leigh Curtis, who was then a contract player) they upped the budget another $20K to hire veteran Donald Pleasance. I am certain all of you have seen this film, which became the prototype for horror from then to the present day.

Curtis stays fully dressed, but I couldn't resist one image of her at 20. There is exposure from three women. First, Sandy Johnson shows breasts in the opening murder. Nancy Kyes shows the side of a breast and buns in panties, and P J Soles shows breasts in a lengthy but dark sex scene followed by her death scene. This $325K film grossed $47M in the US alone. Carpenter was offered cash or a percentage. He wisely took the percentage. IMDB readers have it at 7.6 of 10. Berardinelli wrote an insightful review, mentioning that, while Halloween spawned all of the slasher gore films, it actually relied on suspense, not gore. This is a B-. Even those who do not like horror, should see this one.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Jamie Lee Curtis
  • Nancy Kyes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • PJ Soles (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Sandy Johnson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    "Valley Girl"

    Valley Girl (1983) was written to be a low budget teensploitation film. Author/producers Wayne Crawford and Andrew Lane realized that they were not expert at understanding High School girls, and approached Martha Coolidge. They got her to agree that there would be bare breasts from at least four girls in the finished film. They figured they had a good title, and, with a little flesh and a little insight into teen girls, they should do ok at the box office. Coolidge decided to make a real film out of it. She had some luck along the way, casting Nicolas Cage in the lead role opposite Deborah Foreman. The two were magic together. She made the film in 20 days for $350K. When the producers screened it, they were speechless. They had a real film on their hands. They started to offer it to studios, who started a bidding war for distribution rights, and elected to release it themselves.

    It is a love story, with Julie (Deborah Foreman) and Randy (Cage) discovering each other, and trying to stay together despite there differences and peer pressure. Julie's San Fernando Valley friends want her back with her old socially acceptable boyfr8iend, and Randy's Hollywood punk scene friends think he is insane going near the Valley. This film caused a huge awareness of "Val Speak," I mean like totally.

    True to her work, Coolidge got 4 women to show breasts. We have full frontal behind a frosted shower door from a body double, and unknown shows her breasts in a bathroom petting scene, Tina Theberge briefly shows her breasts having sex with Cage, and, in what is actually a pivotal scene in the film, Elizabeth Daily shows her breasts in a long scene in good light.

    IMDB readers have this at 5.8 of 10, which is not bad for an older teen comedy. I enjoyed the film the first time I saw it, and like dit as much today. Cage and Foreman play well off of each other, and Sonny Bono does a great job as Foreman's ex hippy health store owning father. This is a C+.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Body Double (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Elizabeth Daily (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
  • Tina Theberge (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Bad Boys 2 (2003)

    This is a tough one for me to evaluate, because I'm not a big fan of the summer blockbuster action formula. The ratio in this film is about 40% vehicle chases, 20% gun fights, 20% explosions, 10% other violence, the remaining 10% for character development, plot, and humor. That's not the ratio I would choose. I'm a big fan of character development and humor, and I thought they did that fairly well. I enjoyed what there was, but there just wasn't enough of it. The rest of the stuff seemed kinda good for noisy stuff, but I'm really not into the noisy stuff. I kept thinking "is this car chase ever going to end?". And then later I was wondering if the entire movie was ever going to end. It runs close to two and a half hours. So my preferred recipe would include not only a different proportion of action to humanity, but also a shorter running time.

    Your tastes may be completely different, of course. If you like the noisy stuff, this one has some impressive explosions, and lots of them.

    I suppose the best overview is shown by the summary at Yahoo:

    • Average critical score: C-.
    • Average Yahoo voter score: A.

    And that A is not based on 15 friggin' votes, either. They have 19,000 votes, and it's still holding an A.

    Critical score summary:  RottenTomatoes estimates 26% good reviews. Metacritic estimates an average review of 36/100, which is about the same as Yahoo's C-.  Roger Ebert hated it and awarded 1 star. James Berardinelli hated it even more and awarded half of a star.

    I got into an interesting linguistic sidebar when I was watching this film. I heard Will Smith and Martin Lawrence pronounce the word "flaccid" as "FLASS-id", and I wondered if that is now an acceptable pronunciation. In my newest American dictionaries, it is. The older American dictionaries (1960s era) list only "FLAK-sid", and the OED has never listed any other pronunciation besides "flak-sid" in any edition, including the latest updates. Thus, it seems that the constant American use of "FLASS-id" eventually made it an acceptable and correct way to say the word, at least in the United States! (Languages are living entities, after all. We don't pronounce words as they did in Shakespeare's time.)

    In other words, given another decade or so, it will probably no longer be true that everyone mispronounces "mauve", because the incorrect "mawv" will eventually become a correct, accepted pronunciation. (The word actually rhymes with "grove".) None of my dictionaries have given in yet, but they will. I have mentioned this on the site many times, but I am now 54 years old, and have never, not once in my entire life, heard the word "mauve" pronounced correctly. (Last time I mentioned that, several Canadians wrote in to say that it is always pronounced correctly in Canada, because it is originally a French word.)



    • Updates: Monica Bellucci



    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.



    days left until International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept 19)



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Ultra-busty 60's and 70's icon Uschi Digard, full frontal and of course showing off the big'uns in scenes from "Getting Into Heaven" (1970).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by DB:

    Looking at the Fun House each day I can not help thinking that there are many films that should never be unleashed on DVD let alone original video or celluloid. On the other side of the coin...there are many truly great films out there which will probably never appear on DVD.

    Case in point Ken Russell's "The Devils" - 1971.

    There are several reasons why a 'proper' DVD would not arise from this masterpiece.

    1. The rights are owned by Warner Bros
    2. The film was severly cut both prior to release 1.30 removed at insistense of UK censors (not restored in the US)
    3. A further 4 mins plus excised by WB for the US in their attempt to impose 'good taste' in a Ken Russell film.
    4. Couuld they be trusted to restore the original W/S aspect ratio whereas the video on current release is an awfull full frame version with all of the above cuts.

    However all is not lost.

    1. In a recent UK CH4 documentary much of the previously lost footage cut by the UK censor including the notorious ' Rape of Christ ' sequece was shown.

    2. In the last week I came across a Wide Screen VHS of the UK cut as complete as any other shown (sadly no longer in general circulatioin). This was a perfect replacement for a tv recording dating from 1995 which was rather grainy.

    I hope that these 'caps can do this film justice.

    • Gemma Jones, topless. You may have seen her recently in "Shanghai Knights" as Queen Victoria, "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" or in "Bridget Jones's Diary" as Bridget's Mum.

    • Georgina Hale, topless and far off full frontal nudity. (1, 2)

    • Nekkid Nuns, plenty of breasts, bums and bush. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Scenes from the French movie "Les Gens en maillot de bain ne sont pas (forcément) superficiels" (2001).

    • Isabelle Alexis shows off a lovely tan. Oh yeah, and her excellent bare chest.

    • Vanessa Gravina, topless by they pool, plus a pseudo-thong view in link #5. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    • Veronique Boulanger, also topless. (1, 2, 3)

    Jane Birkin Setting the way-back machine to 1976 for these 'caps of the UK actress baring all in scenes from the French movie "Je t'aime, moi non plus" aka "I Love You No More". Thanks to Finn.

    Madeleine Stowe One more by is Stowe topless and showing far off full frontal nudity in a dark scene from "China Moon".

    Teresa Sherrer-Donovan The Canadian actress showing some thong views in scenes from "Queen's Messenger". Vidcaps by C2000.

    Jennifer Leigh Hammon
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    The Daytime Soap actress bares breasts, bum and bush in scenes from the Skinemax flick, "Allyson Is Watching" (1997). There is plenty of pseudo sex and lesbian lovin' and link #5 even has some very nice close up bush views (not quite gyno-cam, but close).

    Debra Deliso
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Michelle Michaels
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    Señor Skin 'caps of both of these ladies going topless (with bonus buns from Michaels) in scenes from the 1982, B-movie horror classic "The Slumber Party Massacre".

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Since "Gigli" officially opened yesterday (and closes Sunday), here are a couple of our favorite quotes from the many, many bad reviews. You can find lots more at

    "Ben and Jen? After seeing 'Gigli,' I think Ben and Jerry could make a better movie. 'Gigli' is certainly bereft of low pleasures: It's both giggle-free and jiggle-free. Worse, it's enervated, torpid, slack, dreary and, oh yes, nasty, brutish and long. Summed up in a bumper sticker it would come out as: 'Have you hugged your kidnapper today?' Ach. Oy. Woe and poo, bleccch and uck! ZZZZZ-zzz." -- Stephen Hunter, Washington Post
    And our award for Headline of the Day...
    "A Rigli, Rigli Bad Movie" -- Bruce Newman, San Jose Mercury News

    He May Yet Muscle In - Arnold Schwarzenegger's campaign for California governor may be on again. His top advisor George Gorton said Arnold is getting so many messages from people saying, "Oh no, don't tell me you're not going to run" that he won't make a final decision until next Wednesday, when he will announce his plans on "The Tonight Show."

  • Maria's got her bags packed, just in case.
  • People want him to run because they need a governor who's decisive.
  • I can see how he might have sex scandals in his past, since he's constantly on and off and on and off...

    You're So Annoying - Carly Simon will finally reveal the name of the egomaniacal ladies' man who inspired her 1972 hit, "You're So Vain." It's been rumored to be everyone from Warren Beatty to Mick Jagger to James Taylor. But she will disclose it only to the high bidder in a charity auction, who must sign an agreement never to reveal it. Simon laughed that if it ever got out, nobody would have anything to talk to her about.

  • She must have a lot of one-sided conversations.
  • There could be a bidding war between Warren Beatty, Mick Jagger and James Taylor.
  • Actually, I'm so vain, I think that song is about me.

    Nipped In The Bud - Angelina Jolie is furious that her nipples have been removed. In the poster for the new "Tomb Raider" movie, she is wearing a skin-tight silver outfit. The Austrian magazine News reports that her protruding nipples were airbrushed out because the studio feared they would spark complaints. But Jolie declared, "I wanted my nipples to be there to see."

  • Someone went to a lot of trouble to make her prosthetic breasts with realistic nipples!
  • She arrived at the photo shoot with her own bowl of ice cubes.
  • And they wonder why so few guys are buying tickets to that movie?