|I have the honor of reviewing two
Maltin "Bombs" tonight....
Four Rooms is a series of four vignettes tied
together by the character of the bellboy. The
bellhop, played by Tim Roth, was so irritating,
that I watched the first segment and fast
forwarded through the rest. In the first segment,
a coven of witches check into the honeymoon suite
for a ritual to revive their long-cursed goddess.
The final ingredient was to have been semen, but
the witch in charge of that got excited and
swallowed, leaving only a few moments to find a
sperm donor. Voilla, the bellboy.
I hate to say this, but I agree with Maltin on
this one. Despite an amazing cast, it is very
very bad. On the other hand, Sammi Davis and Ione
Skye spend 15 minutes dancing around topless.
Ione Skye (1,
Sammi Davis (1,
Caught up stars several rappers and Cynda
WIlliams. I will be honest... I got it for the
promised exposure, not intending to watch it. I
think of rap music as an oxymoron, and have
enjoyed exactly none of the other films I have
seen in this genre. This held my interest from
beginning to end. Rather than a street smart-ass
gangster violence film, I had a fairly well-made
character-driven suspense/drama. Bokeem Woodbine
starred as an ex-con trying to go straight. He is
finding the job market a little tough for "a
bold headed nigger whose ears stick out"
till he meets Cynda Williams, who takes care of
his 5-year sexual drought, and gets him a job as
a limo driver. Cynda, a psychic, is also into
more than enough, and has enough enemies that
Bokeem soon finds himself in feces up to his ears
that stick out.
This was the directorial debut of Darin Scott,
and it is a very good first effort. He avoided
many of the cliches of this genre, and tried some
daring ideas. Even without the exposure, this
would have been a watchable film. Now for the
good news. Cynda and Bokeem don't just spark
together, they explode in passion. One of the
hottest sex scenes I have seen recently in a
Cynda Williams (1,
it Takes" (2000)
have been the worst week ever for new releases.
Only two movies of any significance,and they were
of minimal significance. Oh, the week might have
been saved if one of them was an overlooked
classic, but no-o-o-o. And the week might have
been saved if one of them had substantial nudity.
Or the week might have been saved if the minimal
nudity had been someone well known. None of that
was to be. "Whatever it Takes" had no
nudity at all.
It's a teen romance - a "who will I take
to the prom?" kind of film, by way of Cyrano
de Bergerac. You see, the mild-mannered accordion
playing geek has a crush on the most popular girl
in school, and there is one way he can get her.
The geek's best friend and neighbor is a hot babe
who is desired by the most popular guy on campus.
So the popular guy will make the geek's dreams
come true, and get him a prom date with the most
popular girl, if the geek will provide a sure
inside track to his best friend. So the geek
scripts the words and creates the personality
that will make the jock into the sensitive and
thoughtful guy desired by the babe/neighbor.
I think you can write the rest of the script
as well as the actual author. Add some stuck-up
and jocky friends to one side, some rebellious
geeks to the other, stir.
No need to review it. You can probably already
figure out whether you'd like it or not. It does
an OK job at what it's supposed to do, but is not
a genre masterpiece like American Pie.
Lyn O'Keefe, as the in-crowd girl, didn't show
anything, but here's her shower scene for
Must Die" (2000)
This Hong Kong style movie uses Matrix-like
fight scenes to apotheosize the genre. Jet Li can
virtually fly. He leaps 25 feet in the air, and
stays airborne long enough to block a Jordan
jumper and order take out. Actually, he's a
pretty impressive athlete even without the F/X,
but they didn't focus on his real skills as much
as on the computer enhancements. The action
scenes don't go for plausibility, but for fantasy
fun. They are about as believable as the scenes
from "Fake Purse Ninjas", the
movie-within-a-movie in "Bowfinger".
Pretty imaginative stuff, though. Li uses
Water Fu, Fire Fu, Football Fu, High Heel Fu, and
the time honored secret of the orient, Pulling
Off The Badguy's Belt So His Pants Fall Down Fu.
Two rival gangs, one black, one Chinese, vie
for control of the waterfront. Innocents of both
races keep getting killed in the middle of their
gangland violence. In the midst of this battle,
the daughter of the black bossman and the son of
the Chinese bossman fall in love.
The Romeo and Juliet parallels are minimal.
They just thought it was a cool title. If they
hadn't reminded you with the title, you probably
would never have made the connection. The script
is better than average for this action-dominated
genre. The gangland battles are more than they
appear to be, because there is a deep dark
conspiracy between the Capulets and Montagues, or
at least between some of them, and the writer
also takes the time to develop a couple of
interesting characters in some depth, especially
the multi-dimensional black bossman.
Unfortunately, while the scriptwriter really got
into the black gang, he used the Chinese gang
largely as a stereotyped prop in the script, and
the so-called mysteries were all completely
predictable. Anyway, the acting is capable, the
action is furious, so soak up his charisma and
let the movie wash gently over you without too
much extensive analysis.
Strangely enough, the movie is a directorial
debut for a Polish cinematographer. Figure that
The movie had a wide release in the USA, and
achieved reasonable success. It grossed $55
million on a $25 million budget. I guess that
makes it a mainstream big-budget movie, which may
change your opinion of it, because it's great for
a genre pic, but doesn't have a sophisticated
enough script for a mainstream blockbuster. It
scored 54% positive reviews on the Rotten Tomato
their summary if you care to see everyone's
only nudity was provided by a couple of disco
dancers in a waterfront club, played by Grace
Park and Jennifer Wong. I think the breasts
belong to Park, but that could be Wong. But here
it is, whether right or Wong.
(2000), from TomCat
Tomcat reports: these are from "ZDF
Theaterkanal". It is an unscrambled culture
channel in the digital German ZDF package. It
features live drama, operas, exhibitions. In this
group I captured an avant-garde play with some
nudity. Here's the listing: "Engelslohn
Dokumentarfilm über die Neue Schaubühne Berlin
von Brigitte Kramer und Jörg Jeshel Deutschland
"ZDF Theaterkanal" (1,
Shaver Topless collage from "The
Park is Mine"
McNichol Brief topless flash from
"Just the Way You Are".
||Comments By Akira:
Swamp Thing came out this week on DVD! I got this
DVD today in the mail and was disappointed that
there were not any extras besides the trailer and
a 'collectable' booklet. I have seen caps and
video from the alternate version with extra
nudity by Ms. Barbeau. So, I was hoping for
deleted scenes or something.
I have always
liked this movie. I know it is cheesy. It is
super-cheesy!! Couple guys slugging it out in the
swamps wearing rubber suits. It doesn't get any
cheesier! I was very pleased with the transfer
quality. It was a little grainy but compared to
the best version on VHS it is the difference
between night and day. Literally. All the VHS
transfers I have seen are pitch black in most
scenes. You can't see the trees in the swamps,
just the silhouettes against the sky. Then the
scene came up!
Plus...It is the uncut version of the movie!
Not only dose it have the extended Barbeau scene
there are a couple other topless chicks later on.
A good buy despite the lack of extras. These
scenes had to be adjusted because Craven shot
|WhyScan's Page Three
|If Page Three is unfamiliar to
link describes the Page Three tradition.
|Yesterday's Page 3 girl....Jo,
21, from Leicestershire (1, 2, 3, 4)
Page 3 girl....Jade, 25, from Colchester (1, 2, 3, 4)
Also Jerry Hall replacing Kathleen Turner on
stage in "The Graduate". (1,
Also an article on GABRIELLE ROSS (with
MY UNDIES WILL COME OFF IN 4 SECONDS
By FRAN BOWDEN
GABRIELLE ROSS listened amused as a group of
lads at a party bragged about their skill at
removing women's undies. And she scoffed to
herself when one claimed to be able to unclip a
girl's bra in four seconds using only one hand.
Even so, the boys' boasting got Gabrielle
thinking, and after the party she set about
designing some smalls that were truly quick to
The party was when Gabrielle was a student.
Today, at 25, she is behind a sexy line of undies
called Beau Bras which have got the whole fashion
Gabrielle says with a naughty glint:
"This is underwear designed to be taken
The outstanding feature of her original
collections are pretty bows and ribbon straps.
They all have the added attraction of being sexy
- and easily removed in romantic situations.
Gabrielle says of the party conversation:
"One of the students was my boyfriend at the
time. He said the traditional bow at the front of
a bra was there to lure men because they always
wanted to undo it. I thought 'Hmm, yes,' and
started experimenting with bows and asking what
people thought. That's why bows are the complete
theme. Beau, French for beautiful, is also a play
on the word bow."
Here are pics of the Beau Bra: (1,
|Vidcaps from "Wild
Orchid". Nothing new here, but it's always
nice to revisit one of the 'classics' of the soft
core genre. Despite having to see a little of the