Sunday

 

 

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Progeny

(1998)

Jillian McWhirter film clips. Samples below.

Scoop's brief notes on Jillian:

This film came near the end of Jillian McWhirter's career as a Queen B. After a string of roles in genre films in the nineties, Jillian virtually disappeared from the business about ten years ago. IMDb has little info about her, and she has no Wikipedia page. She does have a Facebook page, under the name Jill McWhirter, but it makes no mention of her acting career!

Since she graduated from high school in 1980, so she would be about 48 now.

Scoop's notes on the film:

A doctor and his wife both black out one night for two hours, immediately after they had seen a flash of blue light in their bedroom. The wife soon reveals that she is pregnant and she thinks she conceived on blackout night. The husband is worried for two reasons:

  • under hypnosis, he has revealed that his wife was abducted by aliens that night
  • his sperm count shows that he cannot father a child

Oops!

The baby starts kicking at two months, and soon seems to be controlling the mother's actions. Wilford Brimley, her gyno, puts her on an all-oatmeal diet because it's the right thing to do. The oatmeal doesn't do much, but he also gives her an ultrasound, which reveals that the baby looks like a cross between Bruce the Shark and one of those wide-eyed kids in the Walter Keane paintings. The parent aliens are always vigilant, and need to protect their vile spawn, so they short out the ultrasound and give Wilford a heart attack. Without Wilfy's testimony, nobody will believe the father when he says what he saw on that screen.

Brad Dourif shows up as some kind of UFO expert, with evidence that the exact same sort of impregnation has happened in Russia. The doc decides that he better to give his wife a c-section to save her - oh, and by the way, to save the world. Dourif is also present in the operating room, filming the operation to prove that they are not mad. Needless to say, the two of them had greatly underestimated the vigilance and power of the aliens. During the operation the blue light appears again, and the doc blacks out again. When he comes to, his wife is stone dead, he's being arrested for her murder, Dourif and his camera have disappeared, and the alien fetus is nowhere to be found.

We see the father in prison. He sees a blue light. Then - a guard walks by, and his cell is empty.

The End ????

The basic idea was to make a high grade horror flick, ala Poltergeist, shooting it with a rich palette on good film stock, and hiring real actors, etc. Looked good on paper. Sounded like a good idea. Didn't work out. Wrong script, and the aliens look downright silly, like those plastic worms that little boys use to make girls scream.

The script revealed almost immediately that there really were aliens, and the director showed us that they looked exactly like gummi worms. The film would have worked much better from a psychological approach where the parents (and the audience) were never quite sure whether the aliens were delusional. Toss out the low sperm count factor, toss out the hypnosis, and let them wonder why there were so many abnormalities in her pregnancy. That approach would have heightened the drama. When he gave his wife a c-section, for example, the doc would be wondering whether the whole thing might be in his head, and thinking that he might be destroying his own human daughter. Such an approach would have eliminated the problem inherent in showing the silly latex monsters, because the unknown is always scarier than any monsters which can be portrayed on screen, especially when the monsters are shown in clear and lingering shots.

Interestingly, the script was based on some "actual" documented cases of alien abduction, and some of that documentation is included in the extra DVD features. Sadly enough, that was the most interesting thing about the film.

 

 

 

Mr. Nobody

(2009)

This is currently in Canadian theatres although it's already available on DVD in France.

Diane Kruger: couple of boob sightings.

Juno Temple: bikini, underwear.

Clare Stone: leg and cleavage.

Sarah Polley: cleavage.

Tanya Trombetta: Canadian singer in bikini.


Neal 'N' Nikki

 (2005)

Painfully unfunny Bollywood sex comedy about pre-marital sex with Canadian stereotypes such as the women dress up like hookers and have sex with anyone and that it's possible sleep half naked outdoors without being carried off by grizzly bears or mosquitoes the size of hummingbirds.

Kristy McQuade: cleavage, bikini.

Samantha McLeod: bikini, skinny-dipping.

Serinda Swan: bikini.

Tanisha Mukerji: bikini, cleavage.


One Hour Fantasy Girl

(2009)

Small budget American film. Although about a hooker, it has almost no sex or nudity.

Kelly-Ann Tursi: underwear.

Eleonora Barna: Canadian ex-pat sexy as hooker.


"Pretend It's Yesterday Again"

(2007 short)

Canadian rape-revenge indie with the standard stereotype that the woman with the big tits get brutally raped while the tomboy beats up the rapists with a hammer afterwards.

Danielle I. Szlawieniec-Haw: Almost falling out of her brassiere. One of the few top heavy actresses who's a natural G-cup and isn't a stripper or porn-star.

Susan Gerth: sexy.


"Alfred Hitchcock Presents"

episode: "Tragedy Tonight" (1987)

Isabelle Mejias has the distinction of being the first actress to bed Kiefer Sutherland on screen when he was 17 years old in the 1984 movie The Bay Boy.

Isabelle Mejias: skirt getting hiked up during makeout session.



 


A Very Merry Daughter of the Bride

(2008 TV movie)

From the wedding-gone-wrong week on the wimmin's network.

Chantal Perron: cleavage almost falling out of her wedding dress.


Last Night

(1998/I)

This movie, taking place on the eve Y2K, has the late Tracy Wright's only nude scene. Of course she got the part because she was sleeping with the director (her husband Don McKellar)

Tracy Wright: topless sex scene.


Sabotage

(1996)

Improved caps for this little known movie.

Mandy Schaffer: sexy but dead as babysitter.


Cold Sweat

(1993)

 This is only available on DVD in Germany and only with German dubbing and no original English soundtrack. Dummkopfs.

Shannon Tweed: boob and butt.

Lenore Zann: boob and butt.

Maria del Mar: topless with pasties.

Ellen Dubin: sexy as secretary.


Sophie Simmons

The product of the loins of Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed is already following her mother's footsteps as a lingerie model. Underwear, pokies, sideboob.



 

 

 

The Graduate

Leo's in-depth comments

Anne Bancroft non-nude

and her body double (some nudity)

 

 

Defoe's last selections before the August holidays:

Anne Brochet in Consentement Mutuel

Marina Hands and Joy Wilaert in The Story of Jen

Alexandra Ansidei in La Difference c'est que c'est pas pareil

Marie Astrid Jamois in EMU, s3e2

Patricia Georget in Fenetre sur Femmes

Pom Klementieff in Loup

 

 

Pics

#1 Cheerleading Camp: Harmony Blossom

#1 Cheerleading Camp: Meryl Bush

#1 Cheerleading Camp: Erica Duke

#1 Cheerleading Camp: Diane Jay Gonzalez

#1 Cheerleading Camp: Maura Murphy

 

#1 Cheerleading Camp: Michaela Myers

 

Lady Gaga's behind

Claire Danes' pokies

Mystery: according to the clues in the photo book Room 23, this may be Hayden Panettiere. Or not.

Claire Hackett in Liam

 

Clips

Vivica A Fox and Cordelia Gonzalez in Born on the Fourth of July

Deborah Kara Unger and Jennifer Ehle in Sunshine

Natalia Woerner in The Pillars of the Earth, s1e3

Valentina Sauca in Dinosaurier, sample below