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FILM CLIPS:
Absolutely spectacular HD film clips of Tanya
Roberts in Sheena. (Movie House review.) Great photography, great
transfer, and Tanya looks great. (Two .avis zipped together.)
Sherilyn Fenn is an incredibly beautiful woman, and she did eventually
attain at least some minimal level of acting competence, but you ain't
gonna believe how bad she was in The Wraith. (Zipped .avi)
She makes one long for the deep and subtle line readings in the Pam
Anderson/ Tommy Lee sex tape.
A Good Woman (2005)
The critics didn't much care for this interpretation of an Oscar
Wilde play called Lady Windemere's Fan, but I found it worth the
watch. The first half of it was too glib, with various characters
simply competing to mouth Wilde's aphorisms, as if in an HBO comedy
contest. But glib is not all bad. It was modestly entertaining
throughout. Wilde's droll humor still holds up fairly well, and the
screenwriter modernized it a tad to make it seem peppier to our ears.
(Some critics objected to his having tampered with the master's words,
but that didn't bother me.) The second half of the film, I felt, was
better, more heartfelt. The characters got off their high horses,
stopped orating, and started to develop some genuine human emotions in
between the cynical comments.
One thing I simply could not figure out was the reason for the
screenwriter having taken the action out of Victorian London to locate
it in Italy in the 1930's, with several American characters. I mean,
why not either leave it in its original context or go the whole
distance and try to make it work in modern times (which is cheaper
than designing period sets and costumes)? After having thought about
it, I concluded that the decision was more or less arbitrary. The
American characters were undoubtedly added as a marketing decision, to
cast some American stars with name recognition (Helen Hunt, Scarlett
Johannson). Moving it out of Victorian England allowed Scarlett
and Helen to wear sexy outfits, but keeping it out of modern times
allowed a bit of extra atmosphere, the mystique of the Jazz Age, and a
more formal manner of speech than would seem natural in our times. The
Italian locales were simply elegant and beautiful, and just seemed to
suit Wilde's refined sensibilities.
So you have some nice sentimental moments, lots of Wilde's witty
and cynical observations, Tom Wilkinson stealing the show with his
usual outstanding bit of characterization (is he ever less than
great?) as the self-deprecating Tuppy, and Scarlett Johansson wearing
revealing clothing. All in all, very pleasant, if insubstantial.
C or C+.
OTHER CRAP:
From the Mailbox:
"As I was
listening to the Opie and Anthony radio
program the other morning on 92.3 free FM
in NYC, the hosts had mentioned that WB-11
news personality Jill Nicolini had posed
naked. I went home and did a little
searching and here is what I found: Ms.
Nicolini is a former Miss Long Island and
was forced to give up her crown when her
nude photographs were discovered.
Here are some
samples."
STARBUCKS TO OCCUPY
LEBANON ...
Only International Force Willing to Go, Says
Condi
- Starbucks will
create a buffer zone between the two
warring nations by building a Starbucks
franchise every two blocks along the
Israel-Lebanon border.
- Elsewhere,
despite the death of the head of its
military wing, Islamic Jihad is determined
to continue its struggle against Israel,
according to its new spokesman Mel Gibson.
"Compared with a decade
ago, U.S. drinkers are drinking more
frequently and drinking more drinks each
week."
'Pirates' passes $300
million overseas
- "Pirates of the
Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest logged a
fourth week atop the foreign box office as
its total raced to $305.5 million after a
hefty $55 million weekend from 40
countries.
Beltran hits his third
grand slam of July, and has another double
dinger day
- When Beltran went
on his late tear in 2004, it seemed he
would soon join Pujols among the elite
young hitters, and the Mets paid him
accordingly, only to see him finish last
year at .266 with 16 homers. The Mets were
patient and their patience was rewarded.
This year he is on pace for 50 HR, 150
RBI!
Free Movies in the
Public Domain
JoBlo's complete
wrap-up of Comic-Con
Beirut Names Street
After Mel Gibson
- The most common
name for Arab newborns is no longer
"Mohammad" It has been replaced by "Mel"
US Airways auctioning
airplane on eBay
- Any bets on how
long it will take for china.com to report
this as a legitimate news story?
London Underground
History - Disused Stations on London's
Underground
- "There are about
40 abandoned or relocated stations on the
Underground network along its entire 255
miles of trackway - some subsurface and
some above ground. Some have vanished
without trace whereas others are almost
intact, grimey time capsules of the era
when they were closed."
PRODUCTION BEGINS ON
PAM ANDERSON - KID ROCK SEX VIDEO
- Her director
said, "Pamela was looking for a better
storyline without losing that raw,
amateurish look to the video. I honestly
think this is going to be my ‘Godfather
II.’"
GIBSON OPTIONS
ANTI-SEMITIC TIRADE FOR NEXT FILM
Are there methane lakes
on the surface of Titan?
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Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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The Parole Officer (2001)
This is a Steve Coogan comedy from the UK. He
plays a failed parole officer who was transferred from his office to
Manchester when all of his co-workers complained about his disruptive
influence on the office. He only has four successful cases to his
credit. Once in Manchester, he witnesses a murder by a policeman, and is
framed for it. The only way he can clear his name is to obtain the
security tape which will show the murder. Unfortunately, it has been
locked in a bank vault.
Coogan enlists a group of successful ex-cons to help him break into
the bank and get the tape. The group includes Om Puri, Ben Miller, Steve
Waddington, car thief Emma Williams, and, eventually Omar Sharif in a
cameo appearance. To give an idea of the level of humor, a police woman
takes him to a museum exhibit of erotic objects, where he manages to
break off the penis of a fertility carving, and then ducks into the
ladies room to hide it.
I enjoy caper pics, including caper comedies, and found this one
occasionally hilarious, and a very quick watch. C.
- IMDb readers say 6.4.
- British critical reaction was mixed
- This one has not made it across the pond.
Scoop's note: this film was directed
by the same guy who did one of our favorites, Sirens.
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Lena Headey shows breasts
and buns reflected in a mirror. |
     
     
     
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Any reader of the Funhouse could score big points in a Celebrity Nude game
of Jeopardy with these clues.
A. Charlotte Ayana, Elizabeth Berkley, Daryl
Hannah, Bai Ling and Demi Moore
Q. Who are famous babes who have given up major goodies while playing
strippers.
But add Roxana Zal and whole bunches of folk would ask, "Who?" Thing is
Roxana belongs. She was a majpr teen star back in the early 80's...won a
frickin Emmy for heaven's sake when she was 15, playing a victim of incest
(Ted Danson played daddy dearest in Something About Amelia). Roxana went on to
do dozens of TV movies and shows, playing an adolescent and then a young
adult, but around 1993, when she was only 24 the roles seemed to dry up. By
1995 she was giving up top goodies in
Red Line, a DTV feature directed by John
Sjogren. Three years later and we arrive at
Strip and Run aka The Stripper and
The Thief. Roxana plays the stripper and, my oh my, she does not disappoint.
Roxana came to my attention as I was going through the Gimp's list of
most-capped nude scenes. She was nowhere to be seen even though she has
appeared topless in several movies...most of the time that has attracted the
attention of a few folk...Tuna and Scoop and Dann...but none of the less
active cappers, such as yours truly. I had figured to do three or four of her
performances at one time but Strip and Run captured my attention. It is not,
to say the least, a good movie... even though it stars some of the best
character actors in Hollywood. As Scoops pointed out so well in his review of
this movie a long while ago, Strip and Run has the highest density of
astounding coincidences and unexplained behaviors of any movie ever
made...including Battlefield Earth. Stupid things happen because the
screenwriter and director could not come up with a logical way to movie the
action along without them. Yet that screenwriter, L. P. Brown III, is no
idiot. He plays the part of the protagonist in this movie and wrote one scene
where Roxana gives him a lap dance...and another scene in which she
sport-humps him. \
Smartest mofo in the business until Vincent Gallo came along.
All of the plot incongruities are minor annoyances and the essential
stupidity of the movie is no big deal really, because entertainment is to be
found everywhere. Even when the movie is done. For not only do we get to see
the impressive Sita Thompson and three uncredited strippers dance around
topless in the movie's action, we then get to see Sita and two nameless
ones in raw footage, presented in the DVD extras. And if that were not enough,
there is a 5-minute sequence of raw footage from which the Roxana topless
sport-humping scene was constructed. Mon dieu, such a nice little surprise
that was.
My favorite part is in collage #17....a view of her thong-clad rumpus. Her
righteous rumpus.
In the end I have only one complaint about the shoddy work behind the
movie. It has to do with the exterior shot of the strip club. It promises
fully nude gals (see the header to the Roxana collages) but there isn't a
furry bit in sight in the whole dang movie. Looks like false advertising to
these aged eyes.
Okay, so about the collages. I went batshit capping the Roxana scenes. Mea
culpa, y'all...but at 29 she was still a major babe. Twenty-three collages
covering three scenes. Sita Thompson does a strip scene and has a speaking
part...shows up in the credits, but not on IMDb. Too bad, because Ms Thompson
has (or had) a righteous set of mighty-fines. Thought I would send along a
collage from another of her movies, Rod Steele, just to make that point very
clear.
| Roxana Zal |
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| Sita Thompson |
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| Sita Thompson
in Rod Steele |
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And we got clips.
Two Roxana strip clips (avis zipped together). First one is the lap dance.
Not that I would know about these things at all, nosiree, not a clue, but it
looks to me like Ms. Zal brought to this role the same professional attention
to detail that she brings to all her performances. Uh huh. And the second has
her remove her top as bad guys threaten her with all sorts of bad
things...like guns and shouting and mean, ugly grimaces.
Sita's stripping (zipped
.avi)
I will have more tomorrow.
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Dann reports on King of the Lost World:
I'm not going to list all the things wrong with this 2005 version of Sir
Arthur Conan Doyle's classic adventure. Suffice it to say that no budget
and weak acting don't get it done with this type of movie. There were some
interesting parts, but overall it's a poor effort.
Everyone knows the story, I imagine. A
plane crashes stranding survivors in an isolated jungle where prehistoric
creatures still roam. The area is dominated by a giant ape, ala King Kong,
although the ape is pretty laughable and badly done in this version.
Too bad. Great story, poorly executed.
Amanda Ward |
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