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Uncle Scoopy (aka Johnny Web)
What a way to return. Two of the worst movies of all time in the IMDb scoring system. Werewolf is rated 1.8 at IMDb (33rd worst ever), and Whatever It Takes checks in at a sparkling 2.7.


Arizona Werewolf was once spoofed by the MST3000 gang, and rightfully so. It's another masterpiece from one of our favorite Fun House filmmakers, Tony Zarindast, director of Hardcase and Fist


Whatever it Takes stars Andrew "Dice" Clay, Fred "The Hammer" Williamson and Don "The Dragon" Wilson as Italian gangsters. If you are familiar with those three guys, that's all you need to know. For the rest of you, The Hammer is an African-American gentleman who used to play professional football, and Wilson is an Asian or Eurasian fellow who used to be a champion kickboxer. So they aren't exactly the first guys you'd think of to play The Godfather and Serpico, respectively. 

There are some cute nekkid fitness babes, but they are uncredited or miscredited in the credits, so i don;t know who they are. The "unknown 1" plays Kim in the film, but there is no Kim in the credits! I guess she must be in there somewhere, because she has a fairly large part with several lines in several different scenes, but she must be miscredited. The other two appear only momentarily. Unknown three has no lines at all, the other one only a "hello" kind of thing.


Saving Silverman is a generally unfunny slapstick comedy (Elya and Katya watched it with me, but nobody laughed) about two guys who try to save their best friend from a lifetime with the beautiful bitch from hell. The DVD is an r-rated version, even though the theatrical release was PG-13. There is actually quite a bit of nudity, so I assume it was all added for the DVD.

  • Amanda Detmer (1, 2, 3)
  • Odessa Munroe and Tracy Trueman (1, 2)


Pollock is Ed Harris' labor-of-love biopic of Jackson Pollock, the 20th century's most respected American painter. Harris commissioned the script, produced, directed, starred ....

Only one thing. How good a director could he be if he hired Jennifer Connelly and kept her clothes on? No nudity from her or anyone else.

"Light Sleeper" (1991)

Light Sleeper (1991) is written and directed by Paul Schrader, and is the third in a trilogy of his writings, after Taxi Driver and American Gigolo. All three are about disenfranchised, lonely men, trying to overcome their past and escape loneliness. Willem Dafoe gives a gripping performance as an aging ex addict, who has stopped using, but still deals because that is the only job he knows. He works for Susan Sarandon, who sells to up-scale New Yorkers, but dreams of retiring and opening a cosmetic company.

Dafoe runs into an old girlfriend from his junkie days, Dana Delany, who is clean and sober, and is visiting her mother in a hospital. It is clear that she never got over him, but she fears that he would lead her back to addiction. They end up in bed once in a hot, but not very explicit scene where we see her right breast. Performances by Dafoe and Sarandon stand out in what is a very well-acted film.

Maltin likes it at 3 stars, and Ebert adores it at 4 stars, considering it Schrader's best work. IMDB readers are less impressed at 6.8/10, and box office was just over $1m against a budget of $5m. C+


Dana Delaney (1, 2, 3, 4)


Barbara Kodetova (1, 2, 3)


Jennifer Tyler whips out her chest on the BBC



If you are a fan of Rachel Weisz, of the Mummy flicks, then this is a must-see. Rachel shows off her pubes, and engages in a fairly spirited sex scene in a film called "I Want You". Skip to number 18 for the pubes, check in around number 5 or 6 to see her breasts in the sex scene.

Weisz (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18

Graphic Response


Jenny Elvers in "Der Elefant vergisst nie"

Julia Thurnau in "Wie angelt man sich einen Muellmann"

Julia Thurnau in "Alles Atze". No nudity.

Juliette in concert. Bikini top.

Michaela May in "Die Maenner vom K3"

Michelle Marian Beautiful nude scene from "Gelb ist nicht nur die farbe der Sonne"

Natalia Woerner in "Der Elefant vergisst nie"

Ute Christensen in "Die Maenner vom K3"

Vanessa Jung in "Weissblaue Geschichten"

Zia McCabe

singer for the Dandy Warhols

Nikki Hilton

The socialite celebrates her birthday by popping her nipple out, much as the upper crust have done since time immemorial.

Lucinda Crosby

some nude calisthenics in Blue Thunder, courtesy of Dann

Angel Tompkins

hanging around topless

Angel Tompkins (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

in the 1974 film, "The Teacher"

Ines Sastre
(1, 2, 3, 4)

The Turtle writes "attached are some paparazzi's of beautiful Ines Sastre. The pics were taken just a few days ago when she was spending some time in Ibiza with her boyfriend."
The Funnies
NEW STATE MOTTOS. I like the one for Jersey.

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity.
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat.
Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything.
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet.
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids.
Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru. (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money.)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good.
Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"!
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free.
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn.
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States.
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names.
Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.
Maine: We're Really Cold And We Have Cheap Lobster.
Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It.
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets).
Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians (yah aayy).
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes.
Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State.
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work.
Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Hollywood Pukes.
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest.
Nevada: Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone.
New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets.
New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney ...
North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable.
North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan.
Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing.
Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner!
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal.
Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island.
South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender.
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota.
Tennessee: The Educashun State.
Texas: Si, Hablo Ingles. (Yes, I Speak English.)
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus!
Vermont: Ayeyup!
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!
Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese.
Wyoming: Where Men Are Men... and the sheep are scared!

Recommended new phone message pad for your office

Celeb News

From Pat Reeder of the Comedy Wire. Pat's words in yellow, IMDb stories in  white.

Dear Scoop,

Welcome back from vacation.  I've missed your movie reviews. Here's a story from IMDB News.  Apparently, since "Swordfish" is old news, the breast P.R. agent who was handling Halle Berry's hooters (so to speak) has moved on to a new client, Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Jennifer Love Hewitt Doesn't Understand Breasts

Perky actress Jennifer Love Hewitt finds the fascination with breasts bizarre. She says, "I think it's hysterical, to be honest. I really don't get the fascination with boobs. I really don't understand. I mean they're just...fat. There's nothing interesting about them. Sure they look good in the right dress, but why obsess about it? Every time I go out in public they post a new picture up and they write things like: 'Does the left one look bigger than the right?' It's ridiculous."

More from IMDB News.  She really shouldn't do this in front of a lot of guys who've been eating raw oysters.

Cameron Diaz's Fishy Business

Cameron Diaz is drumming up business at her Miami restaurant Bambu, by putting on a sexy floor show. According to reports, there have been a lot of empty chairs recently at the upmarket sushi eatery, which opened in trendy South Beach last summer. So the entrepreneurial actress decided to take matters into her own hands recently and give fellow diners an extra
value meal. Dishy Cameron, 28, parked herself at a table in the middle of the restaurant with a group of girlfriends, where they indulged in multiple courses of raw delicacies. Then, as stunned onlookers watched, she pulled off her turquoise blue T-shirt and switched into a skimpier black tank top - right at the table.

From a reader:

    Can anyone locate vidcaps from Mariah Carey's appearance/striptease from MTV's TRL Friday July 27?

Click Here!