Tuna is no longer homeless. Thanks to Scoopy, you can now visit me on line, learn a little about me, send feedback and suggestions for projects, and see some additional images at www.scoopy.net/tuna.

"The Beach" (2000)

Scoopy presented a pretty harsh review of "The Beach" about a week ago. Now I don't usually disagree with him, but "The Beach" is unparalleled among films made in the last 10 years. It will become the standard by which bad films are measured. Scoop mentioned the odd geography of the island where the characters climb down from sea level, then have to jump to the bottom of a waterfall. Of course, the lagoon they jumped into was surrounded by cliffs. Odd that the beach is only a few footsteps away.

Decaprio plays an American who is bored and wants to experience something different. What he never realizes is that it is he who is boring. Among the high points of the film:

  • The film runs for nearly two hours, yet requires constant voice-over to cover the ten minutes of plot.
  • Dicaprio would rather play with his Game Boy then have sex with Ledoyen.
  • Despite a total lack of sunscreen, none of these Caucasians get sunburned.
  • Everything Decaprio puts in his mouth from the jungle is a hallucinogen.
  • It is filmed in scenic Bangkok, and a tropical jungle, yet has nearly no memorable cinematography.
  • Fish are easily speared in the surf by a crowd of splashing bathers.
  • They take the clothes off of Virginie Ledoyan, who is worth seeing naked, then shoot the scene so dark that you can't see her.
  • As if demented Thai drug growers with automatic weapons were not villain enough, they create the most predatory sharks yet filmed.
  • The moral seems to be that if you are kicked out of paradise, you can always console yourself with an IMac.

The film left me wondering if Decaprio has any talent, or if he got a lucky role with Titanic. He better choose his next project carefully.


Virginie Ledoyen (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

"The Whole Nine Yards" (2000)

The Whole Nine Yards is the best comedy I have seen this year. Bruce Willis is superb as a hit man, Matthew Perry is hilarious as a meek dentist who gets tangled up in more intrigue than he ever thought possible, and Amanda Peet not only provides great, well-lit exposure, but plays an irresistible apprentice hit woman. Rather than summarize the plot, and ruin the surprise, let me just say that this film was the fastest 98 minutes I have spent in a long time.


Amanda Peet (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Johnny Web

"Cannibal Ferox" (1980)

Really screwy exploitation movie from 1980, also known as "Make Them Die Slowly". Some exploitation films deserved the genre title because they delivered nothing of what they promised, and were pure hype. Others deserved to be called exploitation flicks because they delivered exactly what they promised. This one was part of the latter category - it delivered the goods. This movie has cannibalism, dismemberment, mutilation, and other related activities in abundance. It isn't heavy on nudity, but there is some, and it's an oddball genre flick that will hold your attention by its sheer audacity.

Strangely enough for a crap movie of this genre, it was filmed on location in the Amazon, with a script that attempted some irony, a cohesive plotline, and some multi-dimensional character development. Now, don't get me wrong. You won't feel inclined to compare it to "Smiles of a Summer Night" or "Grand Illusion", and the acting is lame, but the film is in focus and the thing kinda makes sense on its own terms. Warning: probably not a good date movie, unless you're seeing Squeaky Fromme.

Here are two reviews from people who actually know something about this genre: (1, 2)

Zora Kerova (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) Lorraine de Selle (1, 2) unidentified but beautiful indigenous tribeswoman with a significant part

""La Signora Gioca Bene a Scopa" (Italy, 1974), from Johnny Web and TomCat

Tomcat reports: "These are some captures from Italian television. This channel is scrambled in the Telepiu packet. However, it is now a fortunate time for Europeans, subscribers of any SECA digital packet. It is possible to create one's own key card and open all packets scrambled in SECA (Telepiu, Absat, CSN, Canal +, ...)"

This movie features Edwige Fenech. (1, 2, 3)

Graphic Response
  • Elsa Zylberstein from "Farinelli: il castrato"
  • Delphine Zentout also from "Farinelli: il castrato"
  • Oz
    Kim Feeney
    (1, 2)

    Sarain Boylan

    Comments by Oz:
    Kim Feeney has appeared on "The Hunger" a few times, but I don't know what else she has done. In this episode ("Skin Deep"), Kim plays a lesbian who is unhappy with her life. She is sort of dared, and then warned of the consequences, by Kate Vernon to try something a little different. The 'something different' is Sarain Boylan. She is into S & M and, as you can see in the collage, also has implants. The funny colours and graininess are in the original show.
    Patricia Zentilli
    (1, 2, 3)
    Patricia is capped from a recent episode of Lexx. In the first collage you see part of what is happening - they are playing some sort of ball game where they have to throw a ball through a hole. It looked fairly pointless to me. Of course, after all sport, you must have a shower. This takes up the rest of the collages.
    Cynda Williams From a "Fallen Angels" episode titled "Fearless".
    Irčne Jacob
    (1, 2, 3, 4)
    Comments by RoSSol:
    Images from "History Is Made at Night". here are more pics of the lovely Irčne Jacob. This film is a real treat for those of us who like Irčne (who wouldn't?) And it's not every major movie star you see fully naked getting herself wacked with the birch-switch..! And that butt of hers is just gorgeous. And take notice: there's even a pic for those who like her feet... I love this girl!
    Linda Gyllenberg
    (1, 2)
    Then we have a blonde Finnish beauty (natural, I think!) Linda Gyllenberg. She's a 23 year old cutie who speaks Finnish with a lovely Swedish accent. But she should consider eating a bit more - otherwise there is a risk of bruises for the guy doing her from behind.
    Louise Hodges The last collage shows us a bit of Louise Hodges (aka pornstar Louise Armani - so seeing "more" of her isn't the problem!) interacting with the Finnish stallion (aren't we are so proud...) Henry the Great Saari...

    If you are able to get a 4:3 TV-version of this film, it's highly recommended compared to this widescreen version because it shows a lot more skin, especially Irčne's lower regions.

    Jr's Comments: The video title for this one is "Spy Games", and it also stars Bill Pullman, and Bruno Kirby. According to the IMDb it is 'A romantic suspense-comedy' about secret agents in the post cold war world.
    Katherine Heigl
    (1, 2, 3)
    From an appearance on Craig Kilborn. No skin to speak of unfortunately.
    Unique 1
    Isabel Sarli
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12,
    13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
    A cool find from 1969's "Fuego". Isabel was the former Miss Argentina in 1955 and became famous in Argentina for her nudity. Her she is at age 40 and not looking too shabby! If you're a fan of large breasted, latin women...do not miss these.

    Here are the nudity highlights: #'s 3-9 boobs everywhere. #'s 10-12, more boobs, and some masturbation. #'s 13-20, boobs, boobs, and more boobs. #21 boobs, and a nice below the equator frame.

    Sarah Jessica Parker
    (1, 2, 3, 4)
    Sarah from "Sex and the City". Links #1 and #2 are worth checking out, even if your not a fan of the show. #1 is a promotional pose with Sarah's co-star Chris Both copping a feel, and #2 is a very rare glimpse of Sarah's posterior in a soaking wet, see-thru dress. #3 and #4 are images that precede #2 and show some more behind the scenes action shots from the filming of the show.
    Jenna von Oy
    (1, 2)
    An all new contributor with 'caps that are if nothing else, very unique. Here is our first example, I am about to type words that I never thought I would ever say in my life....Here are vidcaps one of the co-stars of the TV show "Blossom". Unique enough for you? I'm not sure if these are from "Blossom" or not. There is some cleavage here, and according to the IMDb she did an episode of "Unhappily Ever After", which is probably a good guess for the source.
    Nicholle Tom Another show I never thought I would see 'caps from..."The Nanny". Nicholle played the "teenage daughter misunderstood by her single father". Sitcom cliche #1502-B.
    Anke Engelke German TV babe, showing quite a bit of cleavage.
    Eva Habermann Best known by many on this side of the Atlantic from her role on "Lexx". Here she is "dancing" on German TV. Some cleavage, plus a few upskirts to be seen here.
    Amanda Peet
    (1, 2)
    Vidcaps from "The Whole Nine Yards". #2 is features crystal clear topless 'caps.
    Natasha Henstridge Also from "The Whole Nine Yards", no nudity this time, just excellent head shots.
    Liberty Ross An update from Hugo for those who collect his scans...
    File name hs079-Unknown was sent out long ago and labeled as "unknown". Thanks to Monica B, it turns out to be Liberty Ross - and hence this renamed and relabeled image.
    Serena Grandi
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
    Vidcaps the Italian Comedy "Rimini,Rimini". Lot's of nudity here. Mostly of her large, Italian breasts. #1 does have a few frames of a quick peak down below, and #2 is all posterior views.

    Click Here!