Spermula is an offbeat French softcore from the 70s, filled with quintessential 70s hippie nonsense: libertines having non-stop sex, non sequiturs, theramin music, psychedelia, pretension, amateurishness. If you relish the lowball European efforts from that era, you may find it a non-stop nostalgia trip. Personally, I lasted about 45 seconds before hitting the fast forward button, but if you want the opinion of someone who likes this film, this review is loving and thorough

Anyway, the real reason I watched it was to capture Dayle Haddon's strip, in which she offers her lover (and us) a 3-B exhibition. Dayle was damned hot in her day, although I can't really remember her in anything except North Dallas Forty. She was a Canadian fashion model (and SI cover girl) who broke into movies as a Disney star in The World's Greatest Athlete. She probably could have been a Disney regular, but she had other things in mind for her career. She was soon flashing the goodies in Playboy, which failed to please Disney. They would have nothing further to do with her, so she headed off to Europe to do crappy grade-B 70s Eurocrap. She was actually the top-line star and played the title role in Spermula, but that tells you more about the low quality of the production than it does about Dayle's career. In retrospect, the Disney plan might have worked out better, because she was down-and-out in the early 90s: broke, working menial jobs, and living in the maid's quarters of a wealthy friend.

(The story has a happy ending. She hasn't been in a film in 15 years, but she did manage a comeback in modeling, as a spokesperson for anti-aging products made by Estee Lauder.)

Unfortunately this film has never been made into a high quality DVD. This clip is basically VHS quality, although it's a bit larger than a raw VHS feed. It's probably upscaled to 376 lines from 240. Anuyay, two conclusions are fair: (1) the video quality is weak; (2) despite the quality, Dayle looked mesmerizingly, albeit stiffly, seductive.

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.


The Vintner's Luck


Vera Farmiga clips 1920x816

Keisha Castle-Hughes clips 1920x816


Keisha and others

Melvin, Son of Alvin


Alvin Purple comes back for one more adventure, if only in a supporting role.

Melvin, Son of Alvin is a sex comedy following Melvin (Gerry Sont) who is irresistible to all women, but at his final year of high school, Melvin is still a virgin and is repulsed by the attention that he receives. He also doesn't know that his exploitative dad is not his real father. It is the notorious Alvin Purple (Graeme Blundell) who knocked up his mother (Abigail, playing her third different character in the series, thereby fucking up continuity completely). After Melvin is besieged at the cinema, a mysterious person helps him escape on the back of a motorcycle. His rescuer turns out to be a beautiful Greek girl named Gloria (Lenita Psillakis). She seems to be the only woman that isn't sexually charged by him and they end up falling for each other, although her stereotypical Greek mother is never far behind. Meanwhile, a persistent "current affairs" reporter (Tina Bursill) knows that Melvin is Alvin's son (fucked if I know how...) and wants to get them together for that one big reunion story/exposé (slow news week I assume...). Alvin is rotting away being at the beck and call of sleazy agent Burnbaum (Jon Finlayson, also playing 3 different character across the series) including an incredibly dodgy sex cult (hang on, there's a sensible one?). When the reporter finally gets father and son together, Burnbaum sees an opportunity to exploit Melvin, but Gloria is having none of that.

By now, the 80s sex comedy had become entrenched and this new Alvin Purple movie is a different beast from the 70s version. Feeling more like an American movie than the very Australian original, the idea of Alvin, like the character in this movie has very much lost it verve. Melvin, Son of Alvin is not anywhere near as terrible as Alvin Rides Again. This film at least knows where it's going. It has it's moments and the Gloria character is genuinely likeable and worthy of Melvin's attention, but overall the movie feels old hat once you've seen a bunch of 80s sex comedies.

It's funny that the 70s Alvin Purple films had no problem with full frontal nudity, but this film seems incredibly shy about it. There is an abundance of breasts and the occasional bum, but no full frontal nudity whatsoever. Hmm, it seems bizarre that things have become more prudish over time. Ah well... Also, looking up Lenita Psillakis's profile and this is the only film she ever appeared, but my Spidey senses were tingling (I know, it's sad, it not even worth...). Didn't I cap another Australian actress named Lenita at some stage? I sure did, Lenita Vangellis from the pilot for Good Guys, Bad Guys, which was 13 years after Melvin, Son of Alvin. But, I reckon it's the same woman, certainly looks like her. Hmmmm...

Also, this series was captured from a VHS copy of the movie, so while the quality is OK, it's still could be better.

And isn't it about time for Kelvin, Son of Melvin, Son of Alvin? Graeme Blundell is still kicking around, so's Gerry Sont. Why not?

Pauline Winston and Nicole Reading

Val Christensen

Peppie D'Or

Lucinda and Viktoria Rhoades

Connie Pound

Jeannette Leigh


Rachael Taylor in Any Questions For Ben (2012) in 1080p

Liliya May, also in Any Questions For Ben

Halley Feiffer in How It Ended (2011)

Idina Menzel in Just a Kiss (2002) in 1080p


Amy Robinson in Mean Streets

Candace McKenzie in Pinocchio's Revenge

Elisabeth Lanz in Der Verleger

Jennifer Thompson in Femme Fatales, s2e8

Jo Newman in Femme Fatales, s2e8

Karly Ashworth

Lena Olin in Romeo is Bleeding

Valerie Maes in Sexual Chronicles of a French Family

Charlize Theron in Reindeer Games

Kristen Stewart at Cannes

Peaches Geldof

Sophie Rundle in Episodes, s2e6