* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Timeless Obsession


There is a type of romance story, usually found on supermarket shelves in paperback books, the entire purpose of which is to give lonesome women damp skivvies and shower nozzle masturbation fantasies. Occasionally, rather then a dead tree version, they will make a film version of the romance novel. See Romancing the Stone for an excellent example of the film romance novel genre. Timeless Obsession is the R-rated version.

As in Romancing the Stone, our hero is a Romance Novel author. He has been in a relationship with his shrink (Samantha Mudd) for two months, which is always a critical time for him. He always cheats after two months, no doubt due to commitment issues. This time he is in for a battle because Samantha is willing to work on the relationship. After a session with her, he impulsively walks into an art museum and falls in love with a painting of Venesa Talor. He begins a new story featuring her, and spends hours staring at the painting. He also has flashbacks to the 17th century where he woos and marries her, then catches her cheating on him.

Samantha Mudd shows breasts. Vanesa Talor shows breasts and a hint of bush. Kiara Hunter and an unknown show breasts, and Jennifer Behr shows breasts and an obvious modesty patch. I have no problem with an actress who elects to wear a patch, as long as she announces that fact before she signs the contract. I do have issues with cinematographers who can't keep them off camera. That was not the only photography problem in this film. A mike had enough camera time to sue for a credit line, and it was not even at the top of the frame. The entire film lacked contrast and color saturation.  Despite the photography problems and the low level of nudity, this film is just silly enough to be watchable, and the audio is fine. It is certainly a safe bet for an evening with your main squeeze, and has a feel-good ending.

This is a C- in the couples erotica genre.

It is only available in a dual region (1 and 4) DVD in English from RLDVDs.com. This rare release also has a 6-minute "behind the scenes" featurette, a gallery of production stills, and optional Spanish subtitles.

Timeless Obsession (1997)



Samantha Mudd



Vanesa Talor


Kiara Hunter




Jennifer Behr







Cemetery Gates

Back to the horror realm. Kristen Novak steals this one as she looks great in her short skirt and boots. Oh, did I mention she also spends a considerable amount of time topless. (Not a great ending for her however.)








Notes and collages

Demon Rage

(Part two of three)

Ms. Wood played "Plenty O'Toole" in the Bond film "Diamonds are Forever."

I will apologize in advance before you open the thumbnails; these collages are from the DVD, yet this movie is so incredibly awful no attempt was made to clean up the VHS for DVD sales.

Do NOT rent or buy this film.


Lana Wood









Mujeres invisibles

The movie tells the story of different women who find out they have breast cancer. They all meet after having their cancer remove in a talk-group, where one of them has the idea to do a swimsuit presentation to lift their spirits.


Mariola Ruiz









Jessica Biel in a "making of" featurette for Chuck and Larry
Samaire Armstrong in Boy Girl Thing

Superdupermodel Cindy Crawford caught by the paparazzi

Britney Spears in a thong and a very short skirt. More on the "life is not fair" rule. Jessica Alba never wears a thong near cameras. Britney? Can't get her dressed.

Fiona Horsey in Lovesick



The following film clips are from Defoe. The collages are Charlie's

Jane Birkin in Serieux comme le Plaisir, a 1975 classic.
Sandrine Bonnaire in Tir a vue






The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow

Last week, Seattle prosecutors indicted seven workers for the
union-backed group Acorn, which registers low-income voters.  Authorities say they pulled the worst case of voter registration fraud in state history.  They allegedly submitted many phony voter registration forms with addresses that were all for local homeless shelters.  The names on them included Katie Holmes, former House Speaker Dennis Hastert, New York Times columnist Frank Rich, and such made-up names as Stormi Bays and Fruto Boy.

*  Hey, gay male strippers get to vote, too!

China's Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding Base came up with a new way to raise money while disposing of the nearly one ton of excrement the pandas produce every day.  The panda poop will be "carefully selected, smashed, dried, sterilized at 300 degrees C." and dyed, then formed into a variety of souvenirs, including panda statues, bookmarks and picture frames.  A spokesman said, "They don't smell too bad because 70 percent of the dung is just remains of the bamboo that the pandas are unable to digest."

*   Of course, the other 30 percent is panda crap.

*  Now when people say they bought some souvenir crap made in China, it will be literally true.

*  I think this is the same process used to make Chicken McNuggets.