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Uncle Scoopy (aka Johnny Web)
He's tanned, he's rested, he's ready. The Scooper 's column will return tomorrow!
"Marquis de Sade" (1996)

Marquis de Sade (1996) stars Nick Mancuso in the title role in this film that follows one of Mark Twain's precepts -- never let the truth get in the way of a good story. As the film opens, the Marquis is arrested in a brothel while enjoying Tatiana Novik, who shows her breasts. He is charged with the kidnap, torture and murder of three young women. He is convicted, and sentenced to lose his head, and his manuscript is to be burned. He elects to use his last 5 days re-writting his book, and thus become immortal with the help of a feather that a friendly dove leaves him, and his own blood. Enter Janet Gunn (as Justine) who is searching for her sister, who told her that the Marquis was a patron of the arts and her benefactor. (Janet only shows cleavage).

She has to bribe the jailers, but is finally allowed into the Bastille. The Marquis agrees to tell her what happened to her sister if she brings him ink and paper, and takes dictation. Most of the film is a flashback from that point. We see the sister Juliet (played by Charlotte Nielson) topless and nude from the back, the Marquis' wife Rene (Inina Nizina) topless, and a huge assortment of hookers. The film looks great, with an 18th century feel, and great photography and art direction. The plot is not terrible, and even has a few twists at the end. The problem was the dialogue, and the delivery of the dialogue. Yet, the scenery and the exposure make the film a visual treat. Looked at as a costume titty-flick, it is a solid C.




Belinda Carroll (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Hookers (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

Irina Nizina (1, 2)

Janet Gunn (1, 2, 3)

Tatiana Novick (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)


Hello !

Let me start with the French film "Harry, un ami qui vous veut du bien" which could translate as Harry, a friend who wants good things to happen to you. This movie won four Césars (the French Oscars) for best actor, director, editor and sound. And I must say that this movie is indeed very intelligently made, the actors are excellent -especially Sergi López who won a César - as is the sound (in DTS on this French DVD). The story goes as follows : Michel and his wife and their 3 children are on their way to their country house in France. In the men's room of a motorway gas station Michel bumps into Harry who turns out to be an old high school friend of Michel. At first Michel doesn't recognize Harry but Harry seems to remember every little detail. That's how we learn that Michel had aspirations to become a writer but for some reason he never pursued  that direction. Harry doesn't like that one little bit and he practically invites himself to Michel's country house. From that moment on Harry will literally do everything to get Michel to become a writer. Harry seems, and in fact in his own way he is, a really likeable person but he goes all the way in his solutions, which means that if some one stands in the way of Michel becoming a writer, he'll take care of him, no matter what. Harry is played by Sergi López, a likeable person and an excellent actor from Catalonia, Spain. The Harry character is a rich guy who doesn't have to work and his girlfriend is played by Sophie Guillemin. She seems an airhead but she isn't really. She's only modestly naked in this film but you can find more of her in the Encyclopedia and Charlie's site. Michel's wife is played by Mathilde Seigner but alas, she keeps her clothes on in this film. You can see a lot more of her in the Encyclopedia and at Charlie's. In the collage you can see Harry eating an egg yolk ; he wreckons you should eat one after every orgasm. I'd like to see his cholesterol level since many an egg is eaten by Harry. Furthermore you can see a flying monkey (the subject of one of Michel's early writings) and maybe an idea for your new bath room. All in all an excellent film and DVD that really deserves a Region 1 DVD edition.


Then we have "Castle Freak" starring Jeffrey Combs and Barbara Crampton. From the team of Re-Animator is printed on the DVD. Sure, but this film certainly is no Re-Animator. Jeffrey and Barbara somehow inherit a castle in Italy and go there to sell it. Little do they know that some deformed male human monster is living in the basement. The film never succeeds to hold your interest, the story drags on and on, and everything is lit very poorly. There is some gore and nudity : a nip slip by Barbara Crampton and some frontal nudity by the unknown Raffaella Offidani. In fact they got it all wrong in this movie ; you see, the male monster is stark naked most of the time while Barbara Crampton remains clothed 99.9% of the time. Shouldn't that be the other way round ? The monster itself is not very bright too : I think he heard someone speak about "eat my pussy" and the jerk takes it literally (collage 2, top right).




Furthermore we have Mariangela Melato, some may remember her from Flash Gordon, in the film "Notte d'estate con profilo greco, occhi a mandorla e odore di basilico" which translates as "Summer night with Greek profile, almond eyes and scent of basil". The film is every bit as stupid as the title sounds. Director Lina Wertmüller really screwed things up here. The theme was interesting however : a rich business woman kidnaps a feared kidnapper before he can kidnap her (many rich people were kidnapped in Italy in the days this flick was made). She keeps him as some sort of sex slave and from then on the film unintentionally turns into some sort of farce or spoof that doesn't work at all. This movie has only two merits IMHO : you get to see a 46 year old Mariangela Melato naked and there are some beatiful views of Sardinia's Costa Smeralda (Emerald Coast).




Finally I'll end with some Flemish nudity. Hilt De Vos and the unknown Kristien Van Pellicom play the role of Polish prostitutes who are hired by the inmates of a prison. After they've serviced the inmates the head warden also gets his cut of the deal in the office of the prison governor no less. All this happens in the 1996 short film "Dagen Maanden Jaren" (Days Months Years). If that is what it is like in a Belgian jail then I'm very sorry that I didn't become a prison warden. 





Speaking about Belgium you may remember that my last contribution was on, July 21, our national public holiday. On that occasion people who did useful things for their country get knighted but again I wasn't one of them. Didn't I do something useful for my country ? I put Belgium and Flanders on the map on a very popular American website with a global audience. Doesn't that count for anything ? Now I'm still plain, common ICMS instead of knight or baron ICMS :-) How sad, but hey, maybe next year ;-)

That's it for now.

Yours truly,

Graphic Response
Cherilee Taylor in last night's "Paradise Falls"

Kim Schraner in "Paradise Falls"

Asia Argento
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

The offbeat daughter of the master of schlock-gore, Dario Argento, shows once again that she's not her father's Oldsmobile. In the new Bizarre

Clare Powney
(1, 2, 3)

In "The Girl"
Brooke Shields
(1, 2, 3)
Non-nude, but provocative, in her role in the revival of "Cabaret" WARNING: monstrous downloads

Liz Hurley
(1, 2)
in "The Weight of Water". Hurley has still got that reverse aging thing going strong, looking better here in 2000 than the did in "Aria" in the late 80's. Rumor has it that Satan is noit pleased with the price he had to pay on this deal.

The Funnies

Jenna Bush's top 20 favorite movies

20. Rebel Without a Card

19. You've Got Bail!

18. A Fish Called Jenna

17. The Texas Braincell Massacre

16. The Beer Hunter

15. From Beer to Fraternity

14. Puking Tiger, Heaving Dragon

13. Austin Bars: The Guy Who Snagged Me

12. The American Precedent

11. The Little Barmaid

10. The Keg and I

9. Good Morning, Magistrate!

8. Bend Hurl

7. The Hunt for OctoberFest

6. Drunk and Drunker

5. The Clodfather

4. 9 1/2 Weeks -- of Community Service

3. Heaving Las Cervezas

2. Honey, I've Drunks for Kids!

1. Me, Myself and I.D.

Tales of the kitty


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