Cheerleader Camp (1987) is a comedy/Horror Cheerleader slasher film. The foreign title, Bloody Pompoms, was the title the producer and director wanted, but the powers that be thought 'bloody" would hurt their chances of TV sales. The setup is a team on their way to Camp Harrah for a workshop ending in a competition. Shortly after they arrive, the most obvious competition for the "queen title," Krista Pflanzer, is found with her wrists cut. Lead Betsy Russell has been having nightmares about slashing and has a lot of self-doubt. Her boyfriend is pressuring her for sex, which doesn't help. Another member of her squad, Teri Weigel, is serious about winning the queen title.
There were many other red herrings, including a sheriff, a handyman, the cook and the camp director (Vickie Tipton). Tipton shows breasts in a humorous sex scene. Both Pflanzer and Weigel show breasts in a topless sunbathing scene. I loved the first half of the film, but when the horror element kicked into high gear, I thought the film lost some of its charm. Still in all, it is one of the better teen slasher films. None of the performances were too over the top, there was some actual character development, and Anchir Bay came up with a new transfer that is probably better than the theatrical release prints.
IMDb readers have this at 3.6 of 10, but the mean score is a more appropriate 5.3. This is a solid C to C+, as a well made and acted slasher with more than a little humor.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Brief Crossing (2001):
How in the hell does crap like this get made? It is a French film
about a one-night stand between an English woman and a French boy on
the ferry from Le Havre to Portsmouth. It was directed by the woman
who directed the controversial Romance X, a "mainstream" film with
on-screen penetration and gyno shots. Brief Crossing is not so
explicit sexually as Romance, but it certainly has its share of
shock value, since the women is in her thirties, and the boy is 16.
Now I don't care about the pedophilia aspect, mind you, but I do
care about the boredom. You remember on Seinfeld how Jerry and
George pitched their TV show as a show about nothing. As it turns
out, nothing was a lot better than what they had in the script for
Brief Crossing. In fact, I have already spoiled the entire film for
you, because when I say it is about their one-night stand, I'm not
summarizing or condensing. That is the entire movie.
In the first 6:12, the camera follows the boy around the ferry as he
looks for a good place to set his suitcase.
The next four minutes show him in a cafeteria line, then looking for
a place to sit in the lunch room.
(In that entire ten minute period there is no dialogue except the
necessary stuff like "where are the trays?"
The boy ends up at the woman's table. The next nine minutes consists
of them getting to know one another in a series of facial close-ups.
The direction consists of a close up of the boy while he talks,
followed by a close-up of the woman as she talks. Nine minutes of
that! Back-and-forth, back-and-forth in facial close-ups.
The next five minutes consist of duty-free shopping.
Then there are 30 minutes in the ship's nightclub, as they get drunk
together. Once more, almost all of this scene consists of facial
close ups of them as they sit at a table. Making up for the laconic
beginning, there is a great deal of dialogue in this section. In
fact, these characters are now so chatty that they make Eric
Rohmer's characters seem as tight-lipped as Lee Marvin. The kid
pretends to be cool, and the woman generalizes her feelings about
all males in the world. This is the "character development".
This is followed by 5-6 minutes of the most boring sex scene ever
filmed, missionary style, her on the bottom, shot almost entirely
over her shoulder. She again offers a running commentary on how all
men are the same or some such twaddle.
Then they go to sleep, awake, shower off and get dressed in her
cabin. (The nudity in the sex scene is minimal, but there is full
frontal nudity from both of them in the apres-sex scene or the
He goes to get his suitcase, which is not in her cabin. She promises
to wait, but does not. She runs off to meet her husband and child.
The young man, smitten by love and expecting to see her again, goes
through customs, then sees her - with her family. His eyes
mist over. He walks into the sunset or sunrise or something.
Judging from a couple of reader comments at IMDb, I think it was
supposed to be a great epiphany that she was using and discarding
him, despite some dialogue which would lead the audience to assume
the opposite. That interpretation is not reasonable. Frankly, it is
not possible for anyone paying attention to think that he took the
lead in the seduction. He basically minded his own business in
the cafeteria, didn't want to sit with her, made no attempt to talk
to her. She invited him to the table, then would not let him sit
there and eat his meal quietly. Clearly she was orchestrating all of
the time they spent together, and just as clearly, she was an
emotionally distant person (she never really even talks about him
personally, but only about how he is a metaphor for "the others"),
so there was really no surprise that she was simply using him.
I can't tell you whether the poor visual quality of the DVD was
created by the transfer or by the original print, or both, but I can
certify that it is quite poor, and the DVD presents a letterboxed
widescreen version rather than the almost universally standard
In other words, you really do not want to see this film. It has
nothing at all to offer.
Although the quality is rough and the lighting poor, Sarah Pratt
does do full frontal and rear nudity, including a nearly
gynecological shot when she gets out of bed.
Miss America Axes Talent Competition: "The Miss America
pageant is pulling the plug on its talent competition, eliminating
the amateurish two-minute routines that have come to feature
cheesy stunts such as tractor driving and trampoline jumping. "
What kind of reviews did Tolkien get when he released Lord of the
Rings in 1954? (Fascinating article)
Krispy Kreme under investigation. Has to be a
detective's dream assignment.
MSN Encarta Premium - 10 Words You Simply Must Know
Jaggle has some nice pictures of Cameron Diaz in a small bikini
Encarta offers: 10 Words You "Simply Must Know"
- BROKEN NEWZ:
RIAA Sues Amish Man for Illegal Whistling of Copyrighted Material
A government scientist was arrested, handcuffed, and detained for
three hours by transit police in D.C. Her crime: eating a PayDay
McDonald's 90-day Diet. This is what would happen if
you had no private agenda like Spurlock, but just wanted to find
out what would really happen. Woody's rules:
- Eat ONLY at McDonald's and nowhere else, not even at home
- Eat french fries with every meal
- Supersize when offered
- Avoid healthy items like salads, yogurt parfaits, and
- Consume at least one dessert everyday
- Drink NO water at anytime, only diet sodas
- Breakfast was optional, Lunch and Dinner were mandatory
As you can see, Woody's dietary rules were pretty much the same
as Spurlock's, except substituting diet soda for regular soda
(piling on the calories with soft drinks was Spurlock's "cheat").
Unlike Spurlock, he exercised regularly. The result: he lost
weight, all of his health indicators improved, and he spent a
reasonably economical $300 per month on food.
Pakistan captures high-level al Qaeda operative. At
this point, they can't decide whether to turn him over to
international authorities, or declare him their new President. The
man they captured appears to be Michael Jackson, pre-surgery.
- This reads like satire, but I think they are claiming that it
is true. Capitol Hill Blue claims:
Bush Using Drugs to Control Depression, Erratic Behavior.
They assert that Bush’s mental stability has become the topic of
Washington whispers in recent months. Capitol Hill Blue has been
reporting for nearly two months about increasing concern among
White House aides over the President’s wide mood swings and
obscene outbursts. “Keep those motherfuckers away from me,” he
allegedly screamed at an aide backstage after his ill-fated July
8th press conference. “If you can’t, I’ll find someone who can.”
- The zenith of filmmaking has been reached, in
Adolph Hitler, the Disco Fuehrer.
The trailer for Criminal : "This is an English-language
version of the Argentine hit Nine Queens, which is a Mamet-inspired
caper/sting film. Nine Queens, by the way, is an excellent film.
The remake stars John C. Reilly, Diego Luna, and Maggie Gyllenhaal.
Bluto's voice is silenced.
- At last, a consumer-oriented comparison of the most popular
life-sized, anatomically correct silicone dolls:
Realdoll vs. Superbabe
Got twenty grand to burn? Try joining a Russian nuclear icebreaker
in the search for an Eskimo legend.
As Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry crossed Boston
Harbor in a boat filled with his former Vietnam War comrades,
President George W. Bush attempted to upstage Mr. Kerry by holding
a reunion of his Alabama National Guard unit. “I’m
pretty sure I remember him,” said Tracy Conner, 57, of Mobile. “If
I’m not mistaken, he called me late one night and said, ‘Sign in
for me tomorrow, willya pal?’”
- People Magazine claims:
'Talk About Our Love' singer Brandy is engaged to pro basketball
player Quentin Richardson
If you just can't get enough of stick figures, you might want to
use this as wallpaper for your blog, assuming you can
bear to lose the Legos you have there now.
The universal break-up card!
Famous "Giving the Finger" Fotos
Films of all the classic TV intros from the past couple of decades
(Click on TV Intro's)
Army submits Mi-24 chopper to "Pimp My Ride"
Conversational cheap shots - how NOT to talk!
The Sneeze interviews Savage Steve Holland, director of
the cult film (and a personal favorite), "Better off Dead".
The Sneeze, Vol 6: Steve, Don't Eat It.
Project Vote Smart - Mr. Jackson Grimes for President of the USA.
You have to love his picture!! Very presidential.
Anna Nicole Smith defends Kirstie Alley's right to be fat.
(Although Anna Nicole herself decided to get thinner again)
Playboy Suing Fraternity Over Use Of Bunny Logo For Party.
They claim that they suffered serious and substantial damage to
their reputation and the integrity of their bunny. They are also
suing Monty Python and Jimmy Carter for their "killer bunny"
Inmate mistakenly released, then rearrested.
A federal appeals court Wednesday upheld a 1998 Alabama law
banning the sale of sex toys in the state, ruling the
Constitution doesn't include a right to sexual privacy.
The Elektra movie may include an Affleck cameo. Costume
experts say they will have to modify the Daredevil suit so Affleck
can put it on while his lips are attached to John Kerry's ass.
Zeta-Jones recounts bizarre stalker terror
Alaskan volcano awakening from slumber.
- Is your dad's birthday coming up? Please consider
Uncle Booger's Bumper Dumper. Now only $59.95.
The Dangers of Bread. A proposal to regulate the hell
out of this frighteningly dangerous substance.
Cute animal pictures
School is coming up. Here's your guide to college pranks.
Man On Charter Fishing Trip Gets Bitten By Barracuda.
What's so weird about that? He was on the boat at the time.
Here's a clip of that award show in which Ashley Judd appeared to
Personalized Plate Angers Moms. They seemed to think
that the plate "GOT MILF" was offensive.
Vanity License Plate Brings Tickets: A guy got the tag
"NO TAG", and with it, hundreds of parking tickets that said
'Notice of violation. License number: no tag'
Nice collection of (clothed) Halle Berry pics
It's a Jerk, It's a Vandal, It's Superman!
- Normally, when people claim there is a message to be found by
playing a song backwards, I find that their imagination has gotten
the best of them. In this case, however, there is a fairly
persuasive argument that
Stairway to Heaven Backwards does include intelligible
speech, and that the words praise Satan. If it is not imaginary,
this is an impressive engineering feat, since the words seem to be
intelligible backwards and forwards. (Pink Floyd has a song with
an obvious reverse message, for example, but it is gibberish when
Still only six reviews of The Village, which is now
down to 67% positive.
A reader wrote in response to my earlier remarks, "It's
probably not accurate to suggest that Shyamalan and Disney have
been withholding "The Village" from critics: there may have been
fewer earlier screenings, but the all-media screening in L.A.
(with plenty of critics) was Tuesday night, which was a little
later than usual but well within usual parameters. (Monday and
Tuesday the week of release are normal; Thursday's a danger
sign, and no all-media is an admission of defeat.) The most
unusual thing was that invitations were Fedexed Monday morning,
when they're usually mailed a couple of weeks early.
That said, they might have been wise to delay the screening
even more. The smattering of applause at the end of the movie
was pretty much balanced out by laughs, which also erupted when
Shyamalan revealed his two big "twists," both of which should
have been obvious to half the audience within five minutes of
the start of the movie, if not before. I'm sure plenty of
critics will buy this pretentious & portentous hogwash, but when
the final tally is in I expect that a fair number will point out
that the movie is a steaming load of horseshit. If it's any
indication, the restroom chatter afterwards was not kind. Of
course, that's just my opinion... "
The Women Of Home Depot
Woman has 25 operations to achieve Britain's Biggest Breasts
News and gossip about upcoming TV episodes!
The first trailer for Closer: "Director Mike Nichols
brings Patrick Marber's highly acclaimed theatrical tour de force
'Closer' to the screen, an erotically charged tale of love,
loneliness and betrayal featuring an all-star cast." (Natalie
Portman, Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Clive Owen)
Kerry's camp is peeved at the 'Leaked' oompa-loompa photo
Terra set to sell Lycos for $95-$115 MILLION, They paid more than
$12 BILLION for it.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
(1983) - Day 1
Valerie Kaprisky in
Breathless, or as the French call it "A bout de souffle". Kaprisky
was one of the sexiest women ever - until she opened her mouth and
delivered her lines like Robby the Robot. (I wonder if she was just
speaking English phonetically). I can still remember when she said
that she would stay in acting, but not do any more nude scenes. I
wonder why she thought she was ever in the acting profession to
begin with! To be fair, her English language acting more or less
ended twenty years ago, but she's still acting today in French.
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Human Nature (2001) is quirky. All the details are in
back issues of the Funhouse, with both Tuna and
JohnnyWeb offering insightful comments... which lead
me to watch it in the first place. Me? I liked it a
lot. Maybe it is a hazard of looking at so many
movies, this tendency to like those that do things
differently, but Human Nature does well those things
it does differently. So I liked it. A lot.
What about the babes, you ask?
Well, by now you know that Patricia Arquette gives up
goodies but there are problems: 1) a good bit of the
time she's covered in artificial body hair; 2) at
other times her arms or her real hair (the stuff on
her head) or digitally applied leafy objects cover up
the critical stuff; 3) even when you get a clear shot
it occurs when Patricia is in California and the
camera is in Tierra del Fuego. But damn the
torpedoes. Grabbed a bunch of frames and stuck em
together in eight collages. All of em show something.
The last one is from the climbing-thru-the-trees
full-frontal sequence. I blew it up as big as it
- Patricia Arquette
Miranda Otto is wonderful. Looks great, too. This is
a single frame where she's lolling about in her
nightie, giving us some pokie action. She did such a
terrific job with her character that I'd watch the
movie again just to pick up things I know I missed the
first couple of times.
Deborah Ferrari plays the default stripper, required
of all films. Nice bum in a thong and the upper
goodies are not bad at all.
And Angela Little, former Hefmate, plays a waitress at
a Hooters clone called Chesters. Nothing showing in a
tight t-shirt. This depresses me. Former Hefmates
are in movies to get their kitts off. When they stay
clothed it makes the world seem too bizarre to endure.
Thar ya go, pards. I recommend you watch it for the
style and the substance, though, because the nekkid
babes are just not around for very long.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost serves up a few video clips of the petite, yet quite busty babe Elizabeth Berridge. Everyone knows her best of course as Mozart's wife from the multi-oscar winning Milos Forman movie "Amadeus" (1984).
Recently she played Annie Oakley in "Hidalgo" (2004).
- Elizabeth Berridge (zipped .wmv) topless in a deleted scene found on the director's cut DVD of "Amadeus".
- Here are two more vids (zipped .wmvs) of Elizabeth Berridge topless in a shower scene from the 1981 horror movie "The Funhouse".
|The busty Italian singer and actress popping out of her clothes to reveal some nipplage.
|Showing some nice toplessness and rear views on Euro-TV.
|The long time B-movie and Fun House favorite doing in her first post-implant removal nekkidness in scenes from "King of the Ants (2003). Here we see Kari showing breasts and bum views as she gets it on (including from behind) in a sex scene.
|HDTV 'caps of Judd showing some cleavage on Leno.
|Wearing some too-small outfits and shakin' her money maker in scenes from "Starsky & Hutch" (2004).
||'Caps of the former Miss France (1992) going topless in scenes from the French sci-fi flick "Immortel" (2004). Some triva for ya...the movie is based on a series of graphic novels ("La Foire aux immortels") and the entire movie was shot on digital cameras with the actors in front of green-screens.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the Aussie actress who was often hired to play Marilyn Monroe or Monroe-like characters in her short career (8 films from 1980-1988, since then nothin'). Here she is topless in a shower scene from her first movie, 1980's "Fade to Black".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
MARTHA OFFERS TO GO TO HER ROOM
No Call Waiting? It's Hell! - Martha Stewart is appealing her five months
in prison and five months home confinement, but she offered to start
serving it right away, on one condition. She wants to do the entire 10
months in home confinement on her 153-acre estate in Connecticut. She
could only leave for 48 hours a week for work, church, grocery shopping and
medical appointments, and would have to eliminate all but one phone and get
rid of call-waiting and call-forwarding. Prosecutors do not approve.
She can leave for 48 hours a week?! She doesn't even let her staff do
She could host formal dinner parties, but only during official prison
But without call-waiting, what if she's on the phone to her lawyer when
an urgent stock tip comes in?!
Why would someone who can't leave the house need call-forwarding?
MOORE CHICKENS OUT OF TEXAS VISIT
Belly Of The Beast - Michael Moore was scheduled to appear Wednesday night in
Crawford, Texas, to taunt a vacationing President Bush by showing
"Fahrenheit 9/11" on the side of a barn. But he canceled at the last
minute. Some suspected he might have feared the reception he'd get in
rural Texas. Someone had already left 25 bags of cow manure at the site,
with a sign reading, "To Michael Moore: One load of bull(BLEEP) deserves
And that was from the Welcome Wagon.
Wouldn't chicken(BLEEP) be more appropriate?
They might've lynched him, if they could find a tree strong enough.
The movie is filled with false accusations, like that Bush is always on
SCIENTISTS DEVELOP SELF-CLEANING CLOTHES
Ancient Chinese Secret, Huh? - Two researchers at Hong Kong's Polytechnic
University are developing clothes that clean themselves. They used tiny
particles of titanium dioxide to build a nanostructure into cloth that
breaks down dirt pollutants and other microorganisms when exposed to UV
light from the Sun. They say self-cleaning clothes would be ideal for
people who don't have time or facilities to wash, such as hikers or
Or Michael Moore...
You know: college guys.
There will be two Americas: those who can afford self-cleaning clothes
and those who can't!