"Strike a Pose"
Strike a Pose (1991) was suggested by two readers as a film with lots of gratuitous nudity, and I was able to locate a copy of the long out-of-print DVD. We have a cop on suspension, and his girlfriend, a former model turned fashion photographer. This is enough for tonight, as there was way too much nudity for a single night. There are three photo sessions, where the models pose in swimsuits, lingerie, and topless.
The credits list models as:
Keichia Shablis Story
Beth Ann Manning
I have no idea whose whooters are whose. Tomorrow night, the identified women and the full review.
"Till Human Voices Wake Us"
Till Human Voices Wake Us (2001) is an Australian romantic ghost story, and meets the chick-flick criteria based on a 1.3 difference in scores at IMDB. Dr. Sam Franks (Guy Pierce), a psychologist and professor, travels to bury is father, and finds that his father's last wishes include being buried in their home town. He seems reluctant to return there, and, through a series of flashbacks, learn what terrible thing happened there that he has been repressing.
So, we have flashbacks of a young Sam and his closest friend, a crippled girl, and the strange woman (Helena Bonham Carter) that he saves from drowning. Guess who the ghost is. Carter shows one breast in a sex scene. IMDB readers score it 6.2, with women at 7.6, and men at 6.3. It is not as bad as my synopsis makes it seem, and even though I guessed the identity of the ghost in the first 5 minutes, and had the tragedy at a young age figured out early as well, I liked the characters, and the photography was simple yet very attractive. This is a C, as a solid chick flick/romantic ghost story.
Helena Bonham Carter
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Delta Delta Die (2003 - V)
This is the third straight-to-vid from director Devin Hamilton
in just a few months. The first two (Birth
Rite and Bleed,
each rated a dismal 2.9 at IMDb) never really seemed to strike the right
balance between the elements that Grade B film lovers enjoy, and
they made the mistake of taking themselves seriously, which is the
one truly fatal error in the B world. After all, it's OK to make
movies which are unappealing to mass audiences, as long as they
deliver the goods to the target audience.
This one is still a B movie, but I think the B movie elements were balanced better in this film.
1. It's not a serious attempt at a thriller or a horror movie,
like the previous two Hamilton efforts, but a high camp
horror/splatter/comedy. Julie Strain plays the house mother of a
sorority which manages to be financially self-sustaining. They do
this by luring guys into their house, killing them, and cooking them
into meat pies which are sold at bake sales. The ol' Sweeney Todd
gag. Appropriately enough, the sorority is Delta Delta "Pi".
2. There's plenty of nudity. Four women show their
breasts, and three of those (all but Shepis) show at least a quick flash of
their ... um ...delta. (There is also full-frontal male nudity).
Julie Strain shows even more in the DVD special features in which
she bathes and showers while the camera examines her thoroughly.
Big Jewel is now over 40, but she is in top condition, and is a real
professional when it comes to this type of material. She absolutely
assures that you will get the nudity you seek. My only
disappointment with the film is that I would have liked more nudity from the other
3. The gore is just plain silly, which makes it fun. Julie Strain cuts out some guys'
vital organs while they are still conscious, then throws them in a
blender and drinks the result. As she makes her health drink, she is
tossing around the organs and catching them in the blender, behind
the back and no-look, ala Tom
Cruise in Cocktail. Strain is also shown making sausages out of
human flesh, her topless body covered in blood and guts. One woman
is shown biting off a guy's schlong, with blood splattering
everywhere. You get the idea.
4. One word: catfights.
5. The funniest and strangest element of the film: they chose a
girl about 5'4" to play Julie Strain in the flashbacks to her college days.
Strain is 6'1" without shoes, and lifts herself to 6'5" or 6'6" with
the heels she wears in her dominatrix garb. The girl who played Brinke Stevens in flashbacks was about the same height as the girl
who played Strain. Supposedly, the characters had not seen each
other since college, but when they meet again, 20 years later,
Brinke is not even slightly surprised that her old friend is now
about a foot taller than her! (Brinke is 5'4")
All in all, a reasonably entertaining bad movie with lots of
extra stuff on the DVD. A great improvement from the Devin Hamilton
- Julie Strain thumbnails
- Julie Strain (1,
- thumbnails for the others
- Rachel Myers (1,
- Tiffany Shepis (1,
- Katie Adams
find that masturbating keeps the doctor away. Early
calculations show that Bill Maher will live forever.
Stupid Warning Labels
- Picture this:
Glastonbury 2003, a songwriter plays to a small crowd from a
small stage. Suddenly a lady appears, and she is naked. She lies
down in front of the stage and starts... " With explicit
Agent fears Kournikova may retire
- Carson Daly
shows that he was right - he is a douchebag after all.
The Red Sox's Bill Mueller hits grand slam homer in consecutive
at-bats - one right handed, one left handed. (Never done
before in history)
The Pentagon has named Retired Admiral John Poindexter, the man
responsible for the recently abandoned idea of a terrorism
futures market, to head the newly created Department of Bad
Focus groups at advance screenings for Gigli, a romantic comedy
starring Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, have demanded a new
ending in which both stars die 'in as brutal a manner as
possible,'. And they weren't talking about the characters
they play, but actually about J-Lo and Affleck.
"Gigli" reviews are starting to roll in at Rotten Tomatoes.
Samples: "Gigli is so horrible I had to go cleanse my palate
afterward by watching Glitter." Current rating is 0%. Can they
hold up the perfect zero and tie the record of my main man,
- New York
Post Online Edition: gossip: "Brittany Murphy, the starlet
who was so good in '8 Mile' has taken a wrong turn with 'Uptown
Girl,' say insiders at aintitcoolnews.com who've seen previews.
'If I was taking a long plane ride someday and this film was the
featured movie, I'd jump without a 'chute,' "
Jonathan Ames wants help in finding 'The Most Phallic Building
in The World.'"
- Cyber Meltdown
(2004). Check out the cast for the upcoming Cyber Meltdown:
Linda Blair, Jamie Farr, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Omar Sharif, George
Takei, Dawn Wells.
They run an ongoing poll to determine the sexiest 100 women.
With non-nude pics.
public gay high school set for NY City. I hope my old high
school, which never won a football game, can get this school on
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
days left until International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept 19)
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Updated versions of some classic nude scenes!
||The Material Girl bares breasts and bush in scenes from "Body of Evidence" (1993).
|The sisters from the pop group All Saints both topless in scenes from the 2000 movie "Honest".
|Fantastic full frontal nudity from the Ken Russell, BBC version of "Lady Chatterley" (1992).
|Topless (and covered in movie blood) in scenes from the 1992 horror flick, "Candyman".
|J-Lo showing a little cleavage at the premiere of what many are calling the worst...movie...ever, "Gigli". In case you missed this link that we posted yesterday...
Review: Ben and J-Lo's 'Gigli': It's Turkey Time, Gobble, Gobble
||Bending over to show off some serious cleavage at an autograph signing.
|Showing off her lovely chest in scenes from the HBO series "The Wire".
|Topless in Señor Skin 'caps from the UK movie "Metroland" (1997). US audiences know her best from the movies "Red Dragon" and "Punch-Drunk Love".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
DEMI RIGHT: BOYTOYS ARE BEST IN BED
My Boy Lollipop - Demi Moore may know what she's doing: In a poll of
British women by New Woman magazine, nearly two-thirds of women who've had
affairs with younger men said they were better in bed. A majority of the
women said there weren't enough men of their own age to date, so they dated
boytoys 5-to-10 years younger. They said they work and don't need a man to
take care of them, and their boytoys brought more fun and energy to their
relationships. One drawback: 70 percent admit that sleeping with a younger
man made them more worried about their looks and bodies.
Just do what Demi did: get $400,000 worth of plastic surgery.
So they only date nearsighted younger men.
There are no men their age because they're all sleeping with women 20
Young men bring a lot more energy to bed, if you can just get them to
stop bouncing up and down on the mattress.
FOX TO SHOW STUFF REMOVED FROM THE BODY
Thursday, Fox TV will air a special called "101
Things Removed from the Human Body," which features photos and X-rays of
everything from giant tumors to a necklace hidden up a thief's rear end to
a board stuck in someone's head by hurricane force wind. The producer said
the special was his longtime dream and years in the making, adding, "There
are a lot of orifices in the human body."
And most of them are producing specials for Fox.
Sounds like Fox is pulling reality specials out of a particular bodily
Where's a 2-by-4 and a hurricane force wind when you need one?
Watching this show will remove your brain from your body.
DID KOBE GET TAKEN?
Yet Another Rape Accusation - The Lucianne.com website claims that some
jewelry experts are snickering over Kobe Bryant spending $4 million for an
8-carat purple diamond ring for his wife. They say the jeweler must've
seen Kobe coming because those big purple stones aren't that valuable,
they're mostly used for displays, and some jewelers don't even consider
them real diamonds.
This one would probably be considered a doorknob.
He wasn't buying a diamond, he was buying a $4 million apology.
His wife wishes he'd used that money to have all his pants zippers