"Strike a Pose"

Strike a Pose (1991) was suggested by two readers as a film with lots of gratuitous nudity, and I was able to locate a copy of the long out-of-print DVD. We have a cop on suspension, and his girlfriend, a former model turned fashion photographer. This is enough for tonight, as there was way too much nudity for a single night. There are three photo sessions, where the models pose in swimsuits, lingerie, and topless.

The credits list models as:

Kelly Dunn
Kristy Gibson
Keichia Shablis Story
Beth Ann Manning
Carolyn Kwiecinski
Debbie Beatty
Tina Jakobsson
Dianna Cuevas
Larissa Burnett
Paris Burnett

I have no idea whose whooters are whose. Tomorrow night, the identified women and the full review.

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  • Models (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55)

    "Till Human Voices Wake Us"

    Till Human Voices Wake Us (2001) is an Australian romantic ghost story, and meets the chick-flick criteria based on a 1.3 difference in scores at IMDB. Dr. Sam Franks (Guy Pierce), a psychologist and professor, travels to bury is father, and finds that his father's last wishes include being buried in their home town. He seems reluctant to return there, and, through a series of flashbacks, learn what terrible thing happened there that he has been repressing.

    So, we have flashbacks of a young Sam and his closest friend, a crippled girl, and the strange woman (Helena Bonham Carter) that he saves from drowning. Guess who the ghost is. Carter shows one breast in a sex scene. IMDB readers score it 6.2, with women at 7.6, and men at 6.3. It is not as bad as my synopsis makes it seem, and even though I guessed the identity of the ghost in the first 5 minutes, and had the tragedy at a young age figured out early as well, I liked the characters, and the photography was simple yet very attractive. This is a C, as a solid chick flick/romantic ghost story.

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  • Helena Bonham Carter (1, 2, 3, 4)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Delta Delta Die (2003 - V)

    This is the third straight-to-vid from director Devin Hamilton in just a few months. The first two (Birth Rite and Bleed, each rated a dismal 2.9 at IMDb) never really seemed to strike the right balance between the elements that Grade B film lovers enjoy, and they made the mistake of taking themselves seriously, which is the one truly fatal error in the B world. After all, it's OK to make movies which are unappealing to mass audiences, as long as they deliver the goods to the target audience.

    This one is still a B movie, but I think the B movie elements were balanced better in this film.

    1. It's not a serious attempt at a thriller or a horror movie, like the previous two Hamilton efforts, but a high camp horror/splatter/comedy. Julie Strain plays the house mother of a sorority which manages to be financially self-sustaining. They do this by luring guys into their house, killing them, and cooking them into meat pies which are sold at bake sales. The ol' Sweeney Todd gag. Appropriately enough, the sorority is Delta Delta "Pi".

    2. There's plenty of nudity. Four women show their breasts, and three of those (all but Shepis) show at least a quick flash of their ... um (There is also full-frontal male nudity). Julie Strain shows even more in the DVD special features in which she bathes and showers while the camera examines her thoroughly.  Big Jewel is now over 40, but she is in top condition, and is a real professional when it comes to this type of material. She absolutely assures that you will get the nudity you seek. My only disappointment with the film is that I would have liked more nudity from the other women.

    3. The gore is just plain silly, which makes it fun. Julie Strain cuts out some guys' vital organs while they are still conscious, then throws them in a blender and drinks the result. As she makes her health drink, she is tossing around the organs and catching them in the blender, behind the back and no-look, ala Tom Cruise in Cocktail. Strain is also shown making sausages out of human flesh, her topless body covered in blood and guts. One woman is shown biting off a guy's schlong, with blood splattering everywhere. You get the idea.

    4. One word: catfights.

    5. The funniest and strangest element of the film: they chose a girl about 5'4" to play Julie Strain in the flashbacks to her college days. Strain is 6'1" without shoes, and lifts herself to 6'5" or 6'6" with the heels she wears in her dominatrix garb. The girl who played Brinke Stevens in flashbacks was about the same height as the girl who played Strain. Supposedly, the characters had not seen each other since college, but when they meet again, 20 years later, Brinke is not even slightly surprised that her old friend is now about a foot taller than her! (Brinke is 5'4")

    All in all, a reasonably entertaining bad movie with lots of extra stuff on the DVD. A great improvement from the Devin Hamilton team.



    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.



    days left until International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept 19)



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Updated versions of some classic nude scenes!

    Madonna The Material Girl bares breasts and bush in scenes from "Body of Evidence" (1993).

    Natalie Appleton
    (1, 2, 3)

    Nicole Appleton
    (1, 2, 3)

    The sisters from the pop group All Saints both topless in scenes from the 2000 movie "Honest".

    Joely Richardson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Fantastic full frontal nudity from the Ken Russell, BBC version of "Lady Chatterley" (1992).

    Virginia Madsen
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Topless (and covered in movie blood) in scenes from the 1992 horror flick, "Candyman".

    Jennifer Lopez
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    J-Lo showing a little cleavage at the premiere of what many are calling the, "Gigli". In case you missed this link that we posted yesterday...

    Review: Ben and J-Lo's 'Gigli': It's Turkey Time, Gobble, Gobble

    Beyoncé Knowles Bending over to show off some serious cleavage at an autograph signing.

    Kristin Proctor
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Showing off her lovely chest in scenes from the HBO series "The Wire".

    Emily Watson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Topless in Señor Skin 'caps from the UK movie "Metroland" (1997). US audiences know her best from the movies "Red Dragon" and "Punch-Drunk Love".

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    My Boy Lollipop - Demi Moore may know what she's doing: In a poll of British women by New Woman magazine, nearly two-thirds of women who've had affairs with younger men said they were better in bed. A majority of the women said there weren't enough men of their own age to date, so they dated boytoys 5-to-10 years younger. They said they work and don't need a man to take care of them, and their boytoys brought more fun and energy to their relationships. One drawback: 70 percent admit that sleeping with a younger man made them more worried about their looks and bodies.

  • Just do what Demi did: get $400,000 worth of plastic surgery.
  • So they only date nearsighted younger men.
  • There are no men their age because they're all sleeping with women 20 years younger.
  • Young men bring a lot more energy to bed, if you can just get them to stop bouncing up and down on the mattress.

    Thursday, Fox TV will air a special called "101 Things Removed from the Human Body," which features photos and X-rays of everything from giant tumors to a necklace hidden up a thief's rear end to a board stuck in someone's head by hurricane force wind. The producer said the special was his longtime dream and years in the making, adding, "There are a lot of orifices in the human body."

  • And most of them are producing specials for Fox.
  • Sounds like Fox is pulling reality specials out of a particular bodily orifice.
  • Where's a 2-by-4 and a hurricane force wind when you need one?
  • Watching this show will remove your brain from your body.

    Yet Another Rape Accusation - The website claims that some jewelry experts are snickering over Kobe Bryant spending $4 million for an 8-carat purple diamond ring for his wife. They say the jeweler must've seen Kobe coming because those big purple stones aren't that valuable, they're mostly used for displays, and some jewelers don't even consider them real diamonds.

  • This one would probably be considered a doorknob.
  • He wasn't buying a diamond, he was buying a $4 million apology.
  • His wife wishes he'd used that money to have all his pants zippers welded shut.